


Jade

by Halos_Boat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1940s, Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mild Smut, Period-Typical Homophobia, i promise its not bad at all, very brief mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-05-18 11:36:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 91,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halos_Boat/pseuds/Halos_Boat
Summary: Harry was in a shipwreck, lost at sea with an injury to his head that causes him to lose part of his memory. Louis happens to notice the boy and dives in to rescue him, then aiding him to health again with his mother’s help.Harry may have lost part of his memory, part of his life, but he gained something better than he could have ever imagined; he fell in love with Louis.But, the life that Harry couldn't remember may just come between them.The Amnesia AU where Harry and Louis still end up falling in love.





	1. I: Louis

**Author's Note:**

> An amnesia AU... wow. 
> 
> This came to me so randomly, I just knew I had to write it. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this! I had a lot of fun writing it :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Please note that the places spoken about in this story do not exist. I made them up out of sheer laziness to do any research. 
> 
> If I get anything from this time period incorrect, please do let me know! I've tried my best to do research on that though, thankfully(?). 
> 
> And lastly, enjoy! Let me know if you guys like it 😊

The breeze over the mountain was brutal and gelid, the sharpness cutting through Louis' cheeks and stinging at his eyes. Nothing particularly new about it, really.

It was close to dusk, the skies painted a powdery blue and smokey grey accompanied by the howling wind. It seemed ominous, almost, the storm that was inevitably coming.

After all, the rainy season was upon them; there would be more fish to catch for the chippy.

It was too early for Louis to be awake and out at sea at this hour, however, he found himself awake and energised at the early hours, glancing out his window and watching the seafoam covered waves crash over the shores and disappear into the navy blue water.

The sea was calling to him. If he had listened closely, he could almost hear the hum of his name through the malicious wind.

It was beautifully scary, the sea was. Louis found himself attracted to things of that nature.

Whilst the wind blew through his overgrown hair, smacking over his face, he walked up to the shore, the sand under his feet was soft and rough all at the same time.

He looked down, feeling his eyes start to water, watching his toes vanish into the beige grains. It would have been foolish to wear any kind of shoes to walk in the sand.

He tightened the cardigan around his waist, hands then tucked underneath his armpits taking slow steps forward.

Suddenly, amidst the whispering wind, there was a loud shout, stunting his footsteps. His head snapped up, eyes scanning the wild waves in search of --- of something, anything.

"HELP,"

There it was again, garbled yet still booming. His eyes searched and searched until finally, finally, landed on a figure, white and pale in steep contrast to the dark blue of the water.

The head disappeared under the water again before bobbing back up, their gasps sudden and sharp, arms flailing about, undoubtedly trying to grab at some thing when abruptly, wave pushed the body to the right, the front of their head hitting against a rough rock formation sticking out of the water.

Louis gasped this time, seeing the body now going limp, the sound of the voice lost into the breeze.

He jumped into action, pushing off his cardigan without a second thought and sprinting towards the depths of the water ahead, the biting cold forgotten as he watched the person disappear underneath the harsh current.

It was a big risk swimming into the waters at this time, the tide was high and there were a good amount of jellyfish swimming about. It was the last thing on his mind, his body shivering in the icy water, head emerging to search for the person.

He swam as best as he could toward the rocks, the rough edge hitting his arms, scraping at the skin, his mind in a hasty panic.

He dove underneath, the saltiness of the sea stinging his vision, spotting the person-- a man, sinking, down, down--- his eyes shut, a stream of wispy red swimming above his head as he went further and further away.

Louis swam, as fast as he could, his nostrils clogging and breath catching as he approached the man.

Louis tugged at the man's hands, harsh but necessary, to pull him up. He was heavy, as expected, considering his unconscious state.

With great difficulty, his breathing becoming more and more shallow. He pulled the stray man up over the water, exhaling heavily, finally catching his breath.

The body was lax in his arms, weighing him down as he swam towards the shore.

He stumbled his way onto the sand, the man's body being dragged over the rough granules by Louis' hands underneath his armpits.

Once Louis placed him aside, he scanned the man, taking in his tattered shirt and torn pants, close to nothing covering him up.

Louis bent down beside the man's head, remembering the handy tips he had learnt from his mother while she was serving as a nurse during the war.

He was in no way any sort of medical practitioner but, he knew how to do this. It was something he had to pick up on too after he had started fishing.

Louis placed both of his hands between the man's pecs, pushing down using all his upper body weight, but to no avail, the man lay still.

Louis tried again, pushing as hard as he could but with the right amount of pressure at the same time and still, nothing.

He sighed, seeing the cold breath turn to a dewy smoke in front of him. Tilting the man's head and chin up, he leaned forward and placed his mouth against the man's.

The person's lips were as cold as ice against Louis' while he blew out a rescued breath into his parted lips. He glanced at his chest, disappointed to see that it was not moving like it was supposed to.

He tried again.

And, finally, the man jumped to his side, Louis moving backwards while he coughed out the salty seawater, gasping and choking all at once, trying to catch his breath.

He fell limp onto the ground again, breathing out heavily, not taking notice of Louis at all.

Louis was well aware of the injury on the front of the person's head where he collided with rocks sticking out, the dark, deep red leaking onto the light sand, tainting it.

The man's eyes were opening and closing lazily, almost as if he were about to fall asleep. That was when Louis panicked.

He bent down again, slapping the man's cheek gently but firmly. "Hey," he patted them this time, "Hey look at me."

But, the man's eyes were rolling to the back of his head.

He was unconscious.

"Fuck," Louis cursed. He moved over the sand, feeling the deep razor pokes from the tinted granules dent his knees, aching as he got up on his feet.

He reached for the cardigan, his hands still soaking wet while touching the wool of the cardigan, making him cringe. Yet he moved quickly toward the body.

He bent down again, despite the protest from his knees and pulled the man's body upward as best he could, covering the cardigan over him haphazardly.

The man was cold and ice in his arms when Louis decided to pick him up.

Realistically, there was no way he could walk all the way back to his house with him in Louis' arms; he was practically dead weight.

Louis winced at the thought.

His arms would surely give out before then but--- but Louis had to try at least.

He placed one arm underneath the man's knees and the other underneath his back, lifting them both till he was standing.

With that, he made his way through the cold breeze towards his house that seemed too far away for him to walk to right now.

He thanked his lucky stars when he spotted the fishermen crew out at the wharf, Cap'n Gilly at the edge, directing the boys around the boat, loading it with their equipment.

"Cap'n!" He yelled, gaining all of their attention, thankfully.

Cap'n Gilly snapped his head to their direction, eyes widening underneath his bucket hat.

"Louis, boy!" He yelled back, panicked. "Lads, look alive, let's go help 'im."

The boys from the crew scurried out the boat and hurried toward Louis and the lifeless man in his arms.

The two boys made a move, taking the boy out of Louis' arms, his forehead sticky with sweat as he used his arm to wipe at it, watching the boys adjust the man.

"What 'appen, boyo?" Gilly asked, placing a hand over his shoulder.

"He was in the water, banged up his head pretty bad over the rocks near the cliff," Louis explained trying to catch his breath.

His whole body was a mix between hot and cold; his forehead and armpits breaking out in a potent sweat while his arms still erupted in goosebumps from the chilly wind.

"O'ryt then, let's take the lad to Louis'," Cap'n ordered the boys.

The boys nodded, following Gilly and Louis, the crew struggling with the man in their arms while they walked up the slope over the terrain and near the mountain edge.

The body was practically dead weight. Louis winced at the thought again. He had to stop thinking that.

The walk there was a blur to Louis. They maneuvered through the cold breeze towards his house that seemed too far away for them to walk to.

His mother opened the door with a smile on her face that disappeared as quickly as it came upon seeing the body in the two boys' arms.

"Good God, what's happenin'?" His mother asked in a gasp.

"Ma, I'll explain later but we need to get the man some medical attention," Louis said, pushing the door opened wider so that the crew carrying him could walk in.

He spotted the boy's hands being messed with the vermilion, metallic liquid, staining his yellow coat. The boy was sporting a grimace but said nothing.

"Let me get a towel then," his mother then rushed to linen cupboard, grabbing a burgundy, dark towel, "we'll place 'im in the bedroom."

The boys followed his mother to their spare bedroom--- if that. It was barely a mattress in a cramped up room.

"Louis, boy, you need'ta get ya'self cleaned up too, you're a mess," Cap'n said examining Louis' wet, sticky skin.

His shirt was clinging uncomfortably to his body and his pants were becoming itchy due to it being so wet over his legs, his hair dripping over his forehead and falling onto the wooden floor with small little bullet shaped droplets, expanding over the beige wood.

Louis shook his head though, "I'll just dry off," he stepped passed the Cap'n towards the still opened linen cupboard pulling out a random towel and scruffing it over his hair.

"'Yer gonna catch a cold like 'at, you are," Gilly commented, trudging beside him to the spare room, his voice raspy and deep all at the same time.

"I'll wash off later, Gilly," he said with a tight smile, stopping at the threshold of the door, spotting his mother sitting at the head of the mattress and dabbing a white, clean damp cloth over the man's injury over his head.

"Do we need to call Dr. Carlson?" Louis asked.

"Dr. Carlson is outta town," one of the boys said, the one with red hair and a face full of freckles. His eyes were glued on the unconscious body on the mattress, looking slightly shaken up.

Louis couldn't blame him. He felt the same way. Everything had still seemed surreal; happened too fast for Louis to even comprehend what was happening.

"Heard 'is daughter is ill," Gilly rasped, leaning against the side of the door.

Louis felt himself getting warmer the more he walked into the room. This room got the most heat during the day; where the sun rose from the east, brightening the house even but only in the slightest.

He stood next to the red-haired boy, the foul smell of fish prominent.. It didn't bother Louis as much as it should have, the smell becoming oddly comforting over the years from working at chippy and going on fishing trips out at the sea.

"He won' be back anytime soon then, would he?" The other boy from Gilly's crew spoke, his Scottish accent thick. He wiped at his hands with a clean towel that Louis assumed his mother had given him. The cloth tainted with the runny red-pink liquid.

"Oh dear," his mother sighed, "I'll get the kit then, clean the boy up in the mean time."

She got up, turned to Louis and said; "put a little pressure over it, Louis."

Louis nodded, wordlessly accepting the damp cloth from her and sitting next to man's head--- possibly boy, now that Louis really looked at him.

His hair was wet, sticking to his forehead in different directions, mixing with the crimson blood from his wound, his eyelashes were light but long, kissing the tips of his cheeks, face still round but lips as blue as ice.

He looked fairly young, he did.

"Should ge' 'im out'o 'is clothes, don't ya think?" The Scottish boy with bright red hair spoke again, watching Louis place the cloth over the wound.

"Aye," Cap'n agreed, "wait for yer Ma, Louis and get the boy out of ' is clothes, he'll catch a cold."

Louis nodded, glancing down at the boy--- man?

"Thanks, Cap and you boys for the help today," he said sincerely. He wasn't sure if he would have made it to his house without their help, especially considering the harsh weather conditions.

"Not a problem, Louis," Gilly said, "we should be gettin' back on the boat before that storm comes."

The boys nodded, sauntering out the room, wishing Louis good luck.

"You'll let us know about the boy, yes?" Gilly asked before he walked out.

"I will," Louis affirmed with a short nod.

Gilly bid his last goodbyes to Louis, followed by the sound of their front door slamming shut, unnecessarily loud at that.

His mother walked in with a small kit in her one hand and another cloth in the other, as damp but cleaner than the one he was holding.

Louis moved out of the way to let her sit down again, watching as she set everything up.

"He's going to need some stitches, I reckon," he commented.

She hummed in confirmation, "I'll stitch 'im up then. Grab the brandy from the cupboard, would ya?"

Louis nodded. He dropped the messy cloth into the bin at the door of the room before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of brandy out the top shelf of the cupboard.

The cupboard door squeaked closed. Louis walked back to the room, handing his mum the bottle.

He watched her carefully as she took out the necessities for the stitching, biting his lip anxiously.

"Gilly said we should take his clothes out," Louis remembered.

"Will have to get 'im washed up actually," she said quietly, examining the boy's head. "Need to cut off some of his hair here," she moved the front bit of his hair where the wound disappeared into his scalp. It was a fraction of the wound but still needed stitching.

She took out her scissors, cutting at his hair carefully, avoiding the opened ends of the wound as much as possible, "I don't think it'll he anything too serious," she said, putting the scissors down on the floor.

"He'll be awake soon then?"

"By tomorrow evenin', I'm expecting," she said, then looked at Louis, "run some warm water with a cloth while I stitch him up."

Louis nodded obediently again, going up to their bathroom and filling up the bucket with hot water first, waiting a few minutes to get it to the right temperature.

He steadied himself over the old bathtub, breathing in and out three times, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened.

A man--- a boy, really--- was struggling at sea, close to drowning and then he hit his head over a rock, causing him to fall into an unconscious state and sink to the bottom of the ocean. Louis watched it all happen before diving in to rescue him and brought him back to his home with the help of Cap'n and his crew.

A lot had happened within just over an hour for Louis today; he would have to skip out on going to work then, given that he was already late and he couldn't leave his mum alone with the stranger.

The bucket was heavy carrying it down the stairs and warm over his body, the steam emitting onto his face in small whispers, creating a patch of perspiration over his nose and forehead.

"Place it down," she commanded softly, her hands covered in gloves as she pulled and pushed the sharp needle through his thick skin.

Louis swallowed thickly. He wasn't very squimish but the needles did a good number on him. He looked away swiftly, placing the bucket down along with the raggedy cloth to the side of the bed.

"Ma, is he gonna be all right?" Louis asked dubiously, watching the slow rise and fall of the stranger's chest.

"I have faith that he will," she said after a while, "his poor family must be worried sick."

"Well, when he wakes up, we can find out where exactly he's from, yeah?" Louis moved to the foot of the bed, glancing down at the man's bare feet, scrapes and bruises decorating his toes and ankles.

"Yes, of course," his mother replied, dabbing the alcohol over his wound.

"Did you have injuries like this 'n during the war?" He asked hesitantly. The war was a touchy subject for his mother. She served alongside the soldiers for majority of the war; he couldn't even begin to imagine what she had endured.

"Many times," she said quietly. He could see her eyes glaze over, almost thoughtfully.

"And they were okay?"

There was a pregnant pause between the two.

"Sometimes," she chose to reply with, "the mind is scarily wonderful."

Louis gnawed at his bottom lip, letting out a sigh, unsure of what to say to that. He did not need to reply to that, he was well aware, but for some reason, he felt like it couldn't be left hung in the air between them.

"Get yourself cleaned up too before you catch a cold," she said just as he opened his mouth to reply.

Louis knew better than to argue with his mother. Besides, his clothes were starting to feel like sticky bread dough that clung to someone's fingers.

His wash was quick due to him being afraid he would miss something that involved the stranger if he took too long. He wasn't sure why that would bother him; being that he had only known the boy for barely a few hours.

In fact, he hadn't known the boy at all, he was unconscious for the most part, aside from when he pleaded for help from the depths of ocean. The deep, garbled help still ringing through Louis' ears painfully.

When he walked back down to his mum again, she was clearing up the supplies, throwing away soiled items into the bin along with her gloves.

The boy was still wet from his neck down but his head was drying, his hair curling at the ends, frizzy and sticking out. There was an odd edge to the left of his head, right along his hairline that did a zigzag where he was now stitched up, a cotton pad taped onto the wound now.

"You'll help me get him out of his clothes?" His mother asked, getting off the edge of the bed.

Louis gulped but nodded anyways, walking to her. "What do I do?"

"I'll do the most part, Louis, don't look so scared," she gave him a small tilt of her lips. "Lets pull down his trousers and we'll move to his shirt and I'll take it from there."

"You sure?" He searched her eyes.

"Darling, I've done this many times before; if we don't remove his wet clothing, he'll be in an even worse state than he already is."

"Okay," he bent down with his mum, getting into action to take down his trousers and then to his torn shirt, his eyes bugging out of their sockets, seeing the amount of cuts over his body and a big bruise over his ribcage.

It was challenging to take the shirt off, having to sit him up for a bit. On top of that he had to remove his flithy cardigan, messed with sand, seawater and dabs of blood over the collars. He was in his shorts when Louis felt himself flush slightly and excuse himself from the room so his mother could wipe him down and get him into some dry clothes, no doubt some of Louis' clothes.

Louis stepped into his room, pulling his drawer opened, looking at the few clothing items in them and grabbing a clean trousers, a shirt and a clean cardigan, his dirty one placed into the laundry basket.

As he approached the spare room, the front door swung opened, revealing his sisters, chatting and giggling to themselves.

"Louis," his little sister, Phoebe grinned.

"'Ello," he smiled at them.

"Where's Ma?" Lottie asked, shrugging off her coat, placing it on the rack, her eyes scanning the house.

"Erm," Louis scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "it's a long story girls but she's busy with someone right now, he's injured."

Daisy's eyes widened, her face losing colour, "is he all right?"

"We have to wait and see," he explained, "I'm going to help her out--" he looked at Lottie, the eldest of the three, "---would you start on some lunch, Lots?"

"Yes, sure," she nodded, ushering the twins, Daisy and Phoebe, to the kitchen to help her.

He felt immensely guilty, knowing that they themselves had come back from a long trip at the market, having seeing the paper bags in their hands.

He walked to the room again, his eyes cast downwards to hand his mother the clothing.

She laughed softly, "it's all right, dear. The girls home, are they?"

Louis still kept his eyes glued to the wooden floors, "came in now, yeah. I asked Lots to start some lunch."

"All right," she said, "is it near lunch time already then?"

"Still quite early in the morning but I would rather they not see this as yet," Louis replied.

"Fair enough," she sighed, "come help me again, would you?"

Louis nodded, finally looking up again to see the boy back in his shorts again, looking cleaner this time. He helped his mother push the trousers over the boy's long legs and clumsily pull the shirt over his head.

"We'll cover him with the blanket, hon," she said, handing him back the cardigan. Louis took it, clutching it to his chest.

"I'll go get the warm one from the cupboard, all right?" She placed a hand on his shoulder, her eyes shining through the seeping sunlight.

"Yeah,"

She smiled shortly before walking out the room. Louis stayed put, looking at boy again. His hair was close to being fully dry, curling and frizzy, no doubt due to the seawater, he realised. Though his lips were still an odd, blue-purple colour that made Louis grimace.

They looked painful. He hoped that some warmth would return some of the colour to his lips and the rest to his pale, ghost-like skin.

His mother returned with their old, dark green blanket, straightening it out and placing it carefully over the boy's body. She tucked him in too, just like she would with one of the girls when they were younger.

"So, now what?" Louis asked, looking at the boy, his mum standing next to him, matching his stance and stare.

"Now, we wait for the poor boy to wake up," she sighed, "I don't suppose you're going to the chippy today, are ya?"

Louis shook his head, "it's near midday now, I'm sure Finn will understand."

"I'm sure he knows by now --- word gets around here pretty fast," she smiled at him, warm and inviting. " Lets go help the girls then, you have some explainin' to do because I still don't know what's happened to him."

Louis' lips twitched, "right, let's go then."

When they entered the kitchen, he expected nothing less than being bombarded with questions and was therefore not surprised when that turned out to be the case.

"Who's hurt, ma?" Lottie was the first to ask, standing over the stove, a wooden spoon in one hand and the other placed on her hip.

"Yeah, can we see 'im?" Phoebe then chimed in.

"Is he still alive?" Daisy ended with, earning a stern look from their mum.

"Daisy," she chastised, "enough of all of that nonsense and set the table you two, Louis is joining us for lunch today."

Phoebe and Daisy rolled their eyes, exasperation clear as day on their faces.

Louis bit back a laugh, watching them grab the old, chipped ceramic plates and place them on the table.

"Hon, what exactly happened then?" His mother asked, not wasting time. Lottie still stood by the stove, stirring something or another in the pot.

The aroma was eerily similar to a pot of chicken soup but something was... different about it.

"He was out at sea," Louis started, leaning against the other side of the stove so that he faced his mum, "he asked for help then hit his head over the rocks--- the ones near the cliff--- so I went in the water, saved him and met Cap and his crew, they helped me bring 'im here."

Lottie's eyes were wide, shocked, though his mum had nothing but sympathy written over her face. It was as if the whole story hadn't surprised her at all.

"I'm glad you went in and saved 'im, love," she said, "hopefully we get 'im back to his family soon."

"Well, how's he doin' now?" Lottie asked just as the twins came back in.

"Ma stitched him up and wiped him dry," Louis informed them, listening to the liquid sizzle on the stove.

"He should be awake soon enough," his mum sighed, "for now, let's eat before Louis goes to the theatre and before Lottie goes back to the bakery."

Louis agreed, suddenly feeling his stomach rumbling, remembering that he hadn't even had breakfast and he would have to leave in a few hours to start his shift at the theatre.

Louis worked at theatre downtown; Roswell's, an hour or two after his shift ended at the chippy from Thursdays till Sundays-- sometimes during the week, depending on whether or not they needed him. Lottie accompanied him on his walks there occasionally, as she worked at Harrison's bakery near the theatre.

Everything in Makenshire was close by, walking distance, Louis would say; their town was relatively small. A happening like today's would be the biggest news they had gotten all year so far and they were well into August already.

"Should I ask Mrs. Anders to pack you a pastry tonight, Louis?" Lottie asked while they all slurped their soups, making unnecessary noises doing So, might Louis add.

"Piece of apple pie would be lovely," Louis smiled, "you'll be done by six again then?"

"Yes, but David will accompany me back home so you don't have to worry about fetching me, Louis," Lottie said hastily, her cheeks flushing.

"Gonna have to have a word with this David fella, aren't I, ma?" Louis raised an eyebrow at Lottie, watching her grow redder.

"Some time soon, it seems," his mother smirked at her.

The small table of them erupted in laughter, aside from Lottie who was a red as tomato. Louis, in that moment of family bliss, had forgotten how much of a crazy day it was and that was there was practically a stranger now in their home, laying limp on their spare bed.

***

It was Monday evening when the boy finally woke up, four days later. His whole family was beginning to lose hope that he would, the only sign of any kind of life being the soft, slow thump of his heart.

Louis was in the kitchen, cleaning up their dirty dishes, soap suds right up to his elbows, when Daisy came running in.

"He's awake, the man is awake, Lou!" She had yelled, startling Louis, the plate almost falling down to the floor from his slippery hand.

He was about to snap at her until he realised what she had said.

"He's awake?" Louis gasped.

He had been visiting the boy everyday after he had finished up at work and before he had to get to bed. Louis wasn't sure why he felt a sort of duty towards the boy after he had saved him but he did.

He watched the stranger on the mattress, his lips finally returning in their bright, pink colour, yet skin still remained white and almost sickly.

Now--- now the boy was awake and Louis wasn't sure what to expect.

"Well, come on then!" Daisy frowned, yanking his elbow.

Louis stumbled slightly, finally catching up to what was happening and dropping the plate into the sink and wiping his hands as best he could over his trousers.

He stopped short at the threshold of the door, his sister's crowding the boy, their curious gazes lingering over his body.

"Give 'im some space," his mum tsked, waving her hand about.

They mumbled apologies, stepping to the foot of the bed, the stranger finally coming to full view.

Louis inhaled sharply, hearing him groan, his eyes still squeezed shut, almost as if he were afraid to open them, brows pinched together.

It took a moment or two for the boy to fully wake up, blinking slowly up at the ceiling then finally taking in the rest of his surroundings, moving his head letharigcally side-to-side, his eyes widening as he did so.

Suddenly, he shot up, eyes panicked and frightened, his body shaking like a leaf. The girls huddled together, shocked at the scene, Louis stood at the door still, stunned while his mother placed a calming hand over the boy's shoulder.

"It's all right, love, we're here to help you," she said softly. The boy shrugged her hand off, scurrying to the edge of the wall, breathing heavily.

"Where--- where am I?" He croaked out.

Louis was taken aback by how deep his voice was, sweet and thick like honey.

"You're in Makenshire, love. You were out at sea and hit your head pretty badly. My son, Louis, saved you," she looked up at Louis.

The boy met his gaze as well, his breathing slowing down gradually. "You--- how," the boy suddenly groaned, his fingers pressing against his temples in small circles then wincing, "my-- my head," he stuttered, his hand shakily tracing the stitching over his wound.

"You hit your head pretty badly, I'm afraid," his mum explained. The rest of them remained quiet, waiting for--- Well, Louis wasn't sure what they were waiting for anymore--- a name, perhaps?

"What's your name?" Louis decided to chime in. They all looked at him.

The boy's eyes were bright, wide, doe-like and stunningly green when they landed on Louis again.

"Harry," his voice cracking.

"Harry," his mum repeated, "all right, Harry, I want you to take it easy, love. You've gotten hurt pretty badly."

Harry let out a breath, "I'm--- I need to get back to my father and the farm." His voice was still panicky and scared.

"Yes, we will, but you have to calm down first. We aren't going to hurt you, hon," his mother said calmly, attempting to place her hand over his shoulder again. This time he let her. She guided him down so that he was on his back again but with the pillows--- mostly flattened--- keeping him slightly elevated.

"Right, then," his mother smiled kindly. She reached over to the floor and picked up a glass of water, "I'm sure you're parched; drink some and we can talk afterwards, sound good?"

Harry stared at her dubiously but nodded anyways, taking a tentative sip of the water while they all watched.

Harry's cheeks turned pink. He looked down.

Louis' mum seemed to have gotten the message. She turned to the girls, "I think you girls should leave the room for a bit."

They all nodded, their eyes still fixed on Harry as they walked passed Louis and out the room door.

"It's only fair that you stay and explain what happened, Louis," she said to him, the frightened boy washed with the dull glimpse on sunlight seeping through the room.

"What--- I'm confused, Ma'am," he said shakily, his body shuddering, the tension rising in his shoulders and body going rigid. He was slowly sitting up again, despite his mother only just laying him down seconds ago.

"Um," Louis cleared his throat, feeling the led swallow down slowly, "you--- you were out at sea, looking pretty washed up already, then hit your head against the rocks protruding from the ocean. I went in and, well, rescued you, I suppose," he shrugged modestly, looking down briefly before meeting the boy's eyes again.

"You----" the boy let out a breath, "you saved me then, thank you."

"It's--- Yeah, it was nothing, really," Louis felt his cheeks flush under the attention.

"Now, Harry," his mother started gently, "do you know what happened? How did you get lost at sea?"

Harry was sitting up fully again, his demeanor much calmer than before; his breathing returning to a normal rate but little exhales still shaky.

"I'm... I don't know how. I've never really been out on the ocean much," Harry looked down.

His mum hummed, looking a bit confused. "And where are you from?"

"I---- um, I'm from Edendale," he replied, his voice sounding slightly clogged, "I--- I live with my father, Desmond out at the country side--- we own a farm and sell the produce to the town."

Louis' eyes widened. Of course they knew of him. He was a big name around their small little town too. Heck, he had provided them with some of their produce as well.

But----

"Uh, Desmond Styles pa----"

"Anything else you remember, love?" His mother cut him off sharply, her voice rising.

Louis gave her a perplexed look that she dutifully ignored in turn of looking at Harry.

"I'm twenty years old, I know that--- celebrated my birthday just a month ago," he said, looking down at his lap, his right hand wringing his left wrist. A nervous twitch, perhaps?

"All right," his mum hummed, her eyes filled with concern, "and what year is it?"

Harry looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed as if she were asking him a ridiculous question.

"It's 1948, of course," he let out a throaty, short laugh that died out upon meeting their worried expressions. "What?" He asked.

"Oh, dear," his mum huffed, "Harry, hon, why don't we try and get you something to eat--- you must be starving." She patted his hand softly before standing up.

Harry looked scared again, "wait--- my father, I have to get back to the farm," he said anxiously.

"Its fine, dear. We'll get you back home, we just need to sort out a few things before we do so, yes?"

Harry looked doubtful but he nodded slowly anyways, reaching to the floor again to pick up the glass of water.

Louis didn't even spare a second glance at him before his mother pulled him aside until they were at the edge of the rickety staircase.

"He said it's 1948, Ma," Louis said instantly, "He's missing a whole year!"

"I know," she sighed, covering her mouth with her hand, worried and nervous.

"What do we do?" He asked desperately, scared for the boy that was still technically a stranger to him --- to them.

"We--- well, we have to tell 'im, I suppose," she exhaled defeatedly, throwing one arm up in the air helplessly, "we can't lie to him, can we?"

"Well, why didn't we just tell 'im that?" Louis asked, trying to keep his voice down, remembering how thin the walls were in the old house.

"Louis," she started with a hiss, "the poor boy hasn't even been awake for the past few days; tellin' 'im that he doesn't remember a whole year of his life will be a lot to take in."

Louis let out a resigned sigh. She had a valid point. "So what do we do then?"

"We will tell 'im, just ease him to it," she reached over, squeezing his arm gently, her grip firm and warm, "let's go get him some soup, we'll have to ease 'im into that too."

Louis nodded, following her into the kitchen and helping heat up some canned soup. The girls were in the living room, playing a round of what seemed like poker.

The air outside was relatively warmer than it had been the past few days; maybe it was some sort of metaphor that Harry had woken up today out of all days.

When they walked back into the room, Harry was sat up still, his legs moving in the blanket as if he couldn't sit still, his thumbs twiddling together as he gazed out the window.

He looked at Louis and his mum as they stepped into the room again.

"Here you go, love," his mother placed the bowl in his hands. He cupped the old ceramic gently, the small whispers of steam disappearing into the air, visible through the sunlight.

"Thank you," he muttered, blowing into the bowl cautiously.

"You can place it down if you'd like to, it is a bit hot," she stood at the head of the bed, watching him carefully.

Harry nodded and placed the bowl over his blanket-covered lap, the unappealing pale yellow liquid sloshing slightly.

"You knew my father's name," he said quietly, "does he supply to you too?"

Louis looked to his mum. She gave him a small nod then a weak smile to Harry. Louis wasn't sure what the nod actually meant.

"Um, yeah," he decided to say, feeling the bile rise in his throat. He hated lying. He hated keeping secrets. They built up and up and up until he couldn't take it anymore and exploded.

"So--- so that means you can contact him, yes?" Harry asked, hope sparkling in his eyes, perking up slightly.

"We will," his mother chimed in, Harry turning toward her, "I just want to make sure you're okay first," she said kindly, a gentle smile on her face.

"Are, Um, are you a doctor or summat?" Harry asked tentatively--- slowly. He spoke quite slowly, the way thick honey fell from a dipper.

"Was a nurse for a while," she answered, her small smile nostalgic, "served during the war."

"That's--- that's so wonderful," Harry said, a smile appearing on his face, growing gradually when his mum grinned back at him.

"You should finish up that soup, love," she patted the end of his leg and stood up, "I imagine you'd want to get some sleep."

Harry nodded, unsure, looking down at the still steamy soup, "is that normal?" He asked quietly.

"Completely, dear," she grinned again, walking toward Louis, "We'll give you some time to rest and I'll come check on ya later, all right?"

"Thank you," he said, eyes full of nothing but sincerity.

"You're welcome, Harry. We'll get you back home soon."

Louis smiled at Harry before trudging out the door, closing it almost half way, and heading to the living area where all the girls sat.

Their living area was small, cosy and just homey overall. The carpet was burgundy, matching the old wooden floors surprisingly well, a fireplace centred the entirety of the room, their second-hand couches matching the aesthic of the area well and tying in the whole thing together.

And old, noisily ticking clock was at the right side of the fireplace while a tall--- albeit squashed--- book shelf was on the left of it, filled with a variety of Louis' favourite books from novelists of a wide range.

He loved reading, really.

There was something so comforting and warm about the old, sweet smell of aged books, thumbing through the fragile yet hard papers and soaking up every single line; mind, body and soul engrossed in something even if it were for just a mere few minutes to shut out his jumbled mind and redundant worries.

"He's not okay, is he?" Lottie asked as Louis sat next to her. Her doe eyes were filled with such genuine concern that Louis almost didn't want to tell her that this boy--- who was still a stranger, mind you--- couldn't recall a whole year of his life.

There was a gaping hole in his mind--- his memory.

"He doesn't remember much," his mother answered instead, their eyes flickering to her.

"Will he remember anything again then?" Daisy asked, cuddled up to her twin sister, her light brown hair falling to her face. She tucked it behind her ear neatly, "He needs to get back to his home, no?"

"Well," his mum started with a tired sigh but hopeful smile, "I don't know, I'm afraid but let's hope he does."

Louis wasn't sure if that was even plausible. Still, he smiled, even just a twitch of his lips, for his sisters when they glanced at him.

Later that same day, Louis was clearing up the piled up dishes and grimy counters when his mum walked in, hair disheveled and eyes red-rimmed.

Louis immediately felt a sense of panic wash over him, his brain alert, blood pressure rising. "Ma, what's wrong?" His hand dropped the stinky cloth, feet already moving toward her before he even knew what was happening.

"Can't get any sleep," she sighed, accepting Louis' embrace happily.

Louis squeezed her shoulders, understanding her worries without even having to ask her.

"We're going to have to tell him soon," his mother, just like himself, could not lie nor could she keep a secret. Maybe that was where he had gotten it from.

"I say we tell 'im tomorrow," Louis took the leap, swallowing afterwards. His mother's eyes widened.

"Tomorrow?"

"Ma, we can't keep delaying it," Louis said, feeling a pang of sympathy for the boy.

He was sitting at a stranger's house, practically alone, a series of events lost in his mind.

"We'll tell 'im," she said earnestly, "Tomorrow after your shift at the chippy, we'll let 'im know."

"Are you sure?" He asked, searching her scared blue eyes.

"Yes," she let out a sigh, sounding almost defeated, "I will distract him while you're away--- the twins will be here too."

"You think I need to be here to tell him then?" He scratched the back of his neck nervously, flinching when he realised that his fingernails are overdue for a bit of a clipping.

His mother gave him a deadpanned look.

"I'll be here, Ma," Louis mumbled, knowing not to argue.

He would have felt guilty if he hadn't gotten a chance to be here for when Harry found out. He didn't think it would be very easy to accept after all; the boy may need some comfort.

Louis walked his mother back to her room after that and shortly after, went to his own. Much like his mum, sleep hadn't come easy to him. It had to have taken at least over another hour after he had gone to bed to actually fall into a deep slumber.

***

Work at the chippy the next day was tiring and busy as usual. The weather was dark and gloomy, the sky covered with clustered clouds, grey and dull just as it was most days in the small town.

Louis was relatively warmer in his jersey while he worked, thankful that Finn, his boss, had allowed him to wear it even though it wasn't part of their uniform.

Unfortunately for Louis, his tiny, paper hat had to still sit atop his head. It looked utterly ridiculous but he knew he couldn't push it, especially with Finn.

A grumpy, old man he was, with his near-to-bald head, oily skin and beer belly, he made to play the part of a stereotypical drunk uncle at family gatherings that just didn't know when to shut his mouth.

He sat at the corner of the small food truck, legs over the edge of counter, resting his stinky feet, his overgrown toenails on display while he picked at his fingernails.

Louis grimaced, "service starts soon, Finn, maybe get your legs off the countertop; I need to work there."

Finn gave him a look that was an edge of a glare, seemingly deciding to oblige at the last minute. His business was important to him, he wouldn't want to risk it by displaying his horrid feet around where people's food were meant to made.

He got up from the cheap plastic chair. "You'll close up then?" He sniffed, staring at Louis with his striking eyes.

"Yeah," Louis answered, suppressing a sigh.

Louis practically ran the chippy truck here. Since he had come to apply for a job, fresh at 14, knowing his mother was about to go and aid at war and becoming the head of household, responsible for his sisters, he had gotten the full load from Finn.

Finn's Fish and Chips would have gone to the ground if it weren't for Louis, and he was saying that as humbly as possible. The amount of responsibility that fell onto his shoulders at such a young age helped shape the man he was today; there was nothing he would change about how it had happened.

Except, maybe he would have gone back to the sunny afternoon where he had thought it would have been a good day, only to find out that his father--- their father had abandoned them, and gave him a nice hit on the head.

Which man left his four children behind to do god knew what?

Good riddance, now Louis said.

"Keep ya hands off my money," Finn said, his one grimy hand over the handle of the door to the truck.

"I've been working here for over ten years, Finn. I won't touch what you don't pay me," Louis said flatly.

Finn hummed, giving Louis, what was seemingly an attempt at a threatening look, before walking out, the squeaky metal of the door slamming shut. The whole truck bounced after the extra weight was gone--- it wasn't a very safe, stable truck to begin with, if Louis was being honest.

Louis watched Finn trudge off into the distance, most likely in search of the brothel nearby.

He was a disgusting man, really. Louis should have quit years ago, but the money was needed if they wanted to live a healthy life.

Once his mother returned from war, in good physical health, much to his relief, they had another head to feed in their already full household.

She had insisted that she find work again but Louis prevented it from happening, seeing her poor mental and emotional state.

Lately, she had been searching though. She claimed to be getting too cooped up in the house while the twins had gone to Ms.Allen's bookstore during the day and Lottie to the bakery soon after, while Louis worked most of the day.

They had been managing fairly well with the income at the house as of lately; after the twins had found a job at the bookstore.

Not enough that they could afford to go to a proper school though. Louis had learnt how to read and write from Ms.Allen herself and she was glad to teach the twins too. Although, in her old age, Louis wasn't sure how long she could keep that up.

She was a kind woman, Ms. Allen, never nasty to a single soul even if they were to her.

Louis remembered sitting at her desk in the bookstore while she taught him how to pronounce a variety of words he hadn't learnt yet, when a rude customer, intoxicated by alcohol, had barged in, slurring out insults at her.

Louis was only a child back then, he wasn't sure what to do to help. Before he could rush to Ms. Allen's help, she sent him away with kind words and a humble smile that seemed to shock the man, staggering backwards then out the shop, his eyes still lingering over her as if she had grown two heads.

He was left confused. He questioned why she hadn't called out for help or asked Louis himself for any help.

She simply let out a soft chuckle and said, "It's not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even - or rather, especially - when we'd prefer not to be."

Needless to say, Louis had practically worshipped the ground she walked on after that.

She was also the first person Louis had run to, crying in the early hours of the morning when he had come to the realisation that he'd fancied a boy that lived across the street from them.

She had held him close, the warmth radiating off of her felt just his own mother's, and told him to wipe away his tears because liking someone else was not something to cry about, hating them was.

He didn't cry about it after that, not even when that same boy from the across the street held his hand while they walked past the bay, not even they kissed, knowing there were other people watching---- nothing.

That was until he had moved away. Three years later, the boy he had loved moved across the sea to his father's home to help him with his family business; he was meant to take over, see, and that meant he had to leave Louis in Makenshire while he got shipped off to Crossville.

He had gotten over it eventually, even though a special part of his heart had belonged to the only person he had loved--- his first love even.

Soon after, his mother had returned and she took the news well of Louis simply being in love, not so well about his heartbreak though, as expected.

No boy or man had caught Louis' attention since then, not because he wasn't allowing himself to look, but because he was too busy to even look at all. And, the fact that Makenshire was a small town with not many people that had the same preferences as him.

It wasn't a big deal to Louis. If something were to happen, it would happen, if not, then so be it.

"Louis, my boy,"

Louis looked up from where he started to vigorously wipe the counter where Finn's feet were, seeing Cap'n Gilly approaching the truck.

Louis smiled, "what can I do for you, Cap?"

"If ya wipe any harder ya hand'll fall off," he glanced down at Louis' hand that still held the cloth.

Louis grimaced, placing the cloth in the small sink then turned back to him.

"Saw Finn walking away so I thought I'd come see ya, ask ya about that boy. He woke up then?"

Louis nodded, "doesn't remember a whole year of his life though."

Gilly's eyes widened, his sockets bulging and skin ashen in the cloudy weather, "doesn't remember?"

Louis nodded again, "he's Desmond  
Styles' son," he explained, his arms spread over the edge of the truck, "thinks his father is still alive."

"Well, are ya gonna tell 'im that then?" He stepped closer to Louis and the truck, voice lowering when he added, "word'll spread fast that Desmond Styles' son is here."

Louis pursed his lips, "We'll have to tell him, Cap and maybe get word back to the farm in Edendale that Harry is here."

"'Is name is Harry then," Cap hummed, "'ve heard of 'im before but that farm of theirs has stopped selling produce to us for over a year now, Louis."

"I know," Louis sighed, a sudden chill caused goosebumps to erupt over his skin, "ma says we'll tell him today, after my work here at Finn's."

Gilly nodded, his eyes glazed over and long peppered beard dancing with the wind, "You'll tell me wha' happens then? I worry about the lad--- Ginger still got 'is mind on the amount of blood on 'is hands."

Louis winced. He assumed Ginger was the red-haired boy that helped them a week ago. "Give him my apologies, yeah?"

Cap'n Gilly smirked in the slightest, "still feeling noble, he is--- a hero, he's declaring--- so I'd say ya fine but I'll tell 'im anyways."

He tipped his tattered bucket hat forward as a bid of goodbye. Louis gave him a two-fingered salute.

With that, Gilly walked off.

***

Going back home was something that Louis was dreading. He knew his mother was at home with Harry while Louis worked and his sisters were probably keeping their distance just as his mother had asked them to.

It wasn't as if they were scared of him-- although in hindsight, maybe they should have been--- but his mum was scared that too many things all at once might overwhelm him in one day.

Despite the fact that the wind was icy and piercing through his skin, he tried to take a stroll back home. He wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere.

Louis looked around the town, passing by the bakery Lottie worked at, Roswell's theatre, Fiona's flower shop and Mrs. Dudley's music shop until he decided the wind was becoming too unbearable for Louis to handle in just his jersey and trousers.

So he started to quicken his pace sighed in relief once he passed the threshold of his home, shutting the door quickly, and feeling the warmth engulf him that was emitting from the fireplace.

"You're home," Lottie perked up from the living room couch, dressed in a jersey herself and beanie covering her ears.

"I am," Louis said, walking straight to the fireplace to warm up his numb fingers. He hissed in delight when the heat of the fire kissed his fingertips, rubbing his hands together to create some friction before returning them over the warmth.

"How was work?" She asked him, still seated on the couch, a blanket over her lap.

"Same ol'," he replied then took a quick scan of the room and what he could see of the kitchen, "where's the rest?"

"Dais and Phoebe are with Harry and ma is making dinner," she pointed at the kitchen, straining her neck to see their mum standing near the oven.

"Oh, didn't see her," he mumbled. Then, Louis frowned, "wait the twins are with Harry?"

Lottie's lips twitched upward, "yes, he needed some company and seemed to get along well with them. I wanted a nap so I came here in the mean time."

Louis' raised his eyebrows, surprised, "Oh... and he's doing okay then?"

"From what I know, I think he's just desperate to go home; he keeps asking mum if anyone's contacted his father," Lottie eyes were sympathetic, "he's being polite mostly but I think he's still very closed off, not that I'm blaming him, he basically just woke up in some stranger's house not knowing what's happened."

Louis hummed in agreement, "mum says she wants to speak to him about what he doesn't remember today."

"She told me," Lottie turned around so that her legs were tucked underneath her thighs, "I--- Louis, why are we keeping him here?"

Louis froze, unsure how to answer.

"He has nowhere else to go, Lots," his mother, came out of seemingly nowhere, startled them both, nudging Lottie to make some space for her to sit, "word is that Doc isn't gonna be back any time soon."

"Oh," Lottie said, looking down.

Louis smiled tightly at Lottie then walked up to his mum, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"How was work, darling?"

"Same ol'," he repeated the answer he had given Lottie. Biting his lip, still standing over them both, he said, "we should tell 'im, ma."

His mother sighed, her blue eyes seemed to crackle softly with the fire, "let us eat first, yes? We'll tell 'im once they're all asleep."

Louis pursed his lips but nodded anyways, feeling his stomach grumble the mention of eating. Believe it or not, despite working at a chippie, he barely ate. He found himself despising the food after working with it for so long.

Louis made the brave decision to go and fetch the twins for supper. His mother sent him off with a plate of food for Harry too. Apparently his legs weren't quite okay to walk with yet. His mum said they'd probably felt like jelly, informing him about how Harry had almost fell to the floor when he had gotten up earlier.

Louis held the plate of mash and chicken close to his chest in attempt to prevent his hands from shaking. He knocked on the door softly, hearing tiny whispers from the other end followed by complete silence and then the door swung opened, revealing Daisy.

"Louis," she grinned.

"Hey, love," Louis grinned back, giving her a one-armed hug. She moved so that Louis could step in.

Holding the plate still close to himself, he approached the bed where Phoebe was sat on one end, next to Harry, a big grin on her face and a small smile on Harry's.

"Hello," Louis greeted them both.

"Hi, Lou," Phoebe jumped off the bed, running straight into Louis' torso to give him a hug.

Louis stumbled a bit but patted her back with his free hand.

"Hi," Louis said greeted again, this time to Harry.

Harry looked at Louis, smiling, almost unsure and doubtful, "Hi," he greeted back, voice still as syrupy as Louis remembered.

Louis blinked then looked at the twins, "ma is calling for dinner," he said.

"Okay," they both turned to Harry, "bye, Harry," they waved sweetly before trudging out the door.

Then there were two.

Both clashed gazes. Louis looked down, feeling his cheeks grow hot.

"Uh, ma said I should bring you some food," Louis looked down at the plate then back up at Harry again.

Harry smiled, "she's very kind."

The air become thick with tension, an awkward silence filling the room. Louis stepped closer to Harry, handing him the plate.

"Thank you," Harry said, placing the plate on his lap, "my appetite hasn't been very good, I'm afraid," he frowned, looking at his food then at Louis.

"Oh, Uh, it's all right if you can't finish it,"

"I'd feel awful again," Harry flushed, his cheeks pink, "I hadn't finished any one of the meals your mum has given me aside from that soup."

"Ma says it's normal," Louis reassured him, now standing closer to Harry, "how, er--- how are you feeling?"

Harry looked down again, his skin slightly less pale than when Louis had found him and lips perfectly pink as oppose to that icy blue.

"My head is still a little sore," he said. At that, Louis instinctively looked at the bandage over his wound at the top of his head, "and I--- Uh, I'm worried about my father because he's ill."

"Oh," Louis swallowed, his heart beating rapidly, "Ma said you can't walk as yet," Louis added, desperate to change the subject.

There was a twinkle in his jade eyes then, a mix between amused and a touch of sadness, "my legs aren't working properly."

"They'll be fine soon," Louis smiled at him again, finding himself unable to look away from his eyes.

"I---," Harry paused, eyes still glued on Louis', "your---your sisters are really sweet."

"Yeah," Louis smiled fondly, "get it from ma."

"You, uh, you seem sweet too," Harry said after a moment of silence then blushed again, looking at his food that was no doubt getting cold.

"Er, thanks, you too," Louis replied awkwardly, feeling the burn edge towards his ears, "you should, um, eat before it gets cold."

Harry nodded, eyes now fixed on the food instead, "I--- I'm sorry I can't join you. I know it's very rude of me to---"

"Harry, it's all right, really," Louis reassured him with a gentle smile, "if anything we should be sorry about leaving you alone for a while," he ended with a nervous chuckle that actually brought a fuller smile on Harry's face, a touch of a dimple visible.

Louis heart did a flip that he willfully ignored.

"I'm--- I'm sorry about being such a burden to you all. I know that---"

"Harry," Louis huffed out a laugh, "You're not, you're hurt and we're taking care of you--- as best as we can that is--- its only human."

Harry gave him a short nod, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Louis replied sincerely, "I'll---- we'll see you in a few minutes, yes?"

There was a pause.

"All right,"

Then there was a smile.

Louis walked out, closing the door only halfway and headed to the small dining room table where his family had already started eating.

"How's he doing?" His mum asked, holding the spoon to her mouth before taking a bite.

"Fine, said his head is a little sore and that---" Louis stopped, contemplating on whether or not to tell his mother what he had said.

"That?" She raised an eyebrow, the other girls all now paying attention to him as he sat down on his chair.

"Uh, he said he's worried about his father 'cause his father is ill," Louis explained, avoiding eye contact with any of them while he dished out the mash onto his plate.

"Oh," his mother said, "this is going to be quite hard, isn't it?"

Louis finally looked up, his mouth attempting at a smile, somewhere between reassuring and comforting, "Yeah it will be," and he was sure his attempt at a smile turned out to be more of a frown.

Dinner was quick afterwards, much too quick for Louis. But, they couldn't waste anymore time with this.

So, Louis walked behind his mother as they approached the all too familiar room now, slowly pushing the door opened.

Harry was sitting up, only just finishing up his plate of food with a slow, steady bite. It looked as if it were painful for him to chew.

"Oh, hello," he straightened himself up. For some odd reason, Louis found the manner in which he did enamouring. It was... pure; innocent.

Something that was lost on most people nowadays.

"Harry, dear," his mum breathed out, stepping up to him.

Louis shut the door closed, watching his mother take a seat at the foot of the bed.

He felt odd being the only one standing so he opted for the stray chair at the corner of the room. It hid in the darkness majority of the time, the only part of the room that the sunlight didn't hit, so It was cold when his bum first met the wood.

It was only while his mother made small talk with Harry that he noticed Harry's shirt.

It was his---- Louis'.

He wasn't sure how he missed that, seeing that he had come in to talk to Harry earlier and---

He had to have been wearing Louis' clothing the whole time he was here because what other clothes would he have to wear?

The revelation, as mundane and miniscule as it may have seemed to others was something entirely different for Louis.

Why hadn't he noticed that before?

"Louis," his mother called out.

Louis' gaze fell from Harry's --- his --- shirt to his mum, blinking twice, "Yes?"

"I said that there's some things Harry here needs to know about," she gave him a pointed look.

"Oh,"

Did she want him to tell Harry?

"Well, Harry, this isn't easy to say but..." the words then fell short at his lips, his brain turning gears.

Luckily, his mum came to the rescue.

"Yes, we, uh, we should start with the fact that the year isn't 1948 anymore, dear," she bit the bullet quickly.

Louis inhaled sharply, watching Harry carefully, cautiously, seeing how he reacted.

Harry frowned, his brows pinched together.

"Wh--what do you mean?" He asked, looking genuinely confused.

"Oh, love," his mother sighed, sounding painful, "it's 1949."

"It's what?" He squeaked out, face pale.

Okay, so his mother decided to go right into it.

"Love, I know this is a lot to take in but you've somehow missed a whole year of your life, it's not 1948 anymore. We're in August of 1949," she continued while Louis still was stuck, bated breath and wide eyes.

"N--no," he shook his head, "no, it's 1948, I---it's not 1949," he laughed, although there was a scared undertone to his laugh "this is some sort of Tom foolery, innit?"

Louis' heart rate increased steadily, still finding himself unable to say anything.

"Harry, it's 1949, darling," his mother said firmly but gently, "I'm so sorry, love."

"No," he shook his head, looking down at the blanket over his lap. The plate was at the side of the bed now, thankfully, but it didn't ease Louis' mind at all. He was definitely in denial and Louis couldn't blame him.

His mother looked at him, sympathy painted over her face. Louis frowned, the warmth that always filled the room was suddenly gone.

"Louis?" Harry's head shot up to his, eyes wide and pleading, shining with unshed tears.

It was the first time Louis had heard Harry say his name out loud. It was bittersweet, really.

"H---Harry, I'm sorry," Louis swallowed thickly. Before he could continue, Harry already started to shake his head again, his bottom lip started to tremble suddenly, shooting an arrow through Louis' heart.

"This----this can't be," his voice cracked. He looked at Louis then his mother, "how--- why am I here?"

"You did hit your head and we did bring you here to help you, hon. That may have caused some memory loss," she said, still as calm as ever. Louis wasn't sure how or why but he envied her.

Tears fell from Harry's eyes rapidly, his cheeks and nose red as if he were cold, lips still trembling, sobs threatening to fall from his mouth. It broke Louis' heart.

"It's okay, hon, we're going to help you now, yes? 'S all right, just breathe," she shifted forward slightly to grab one of his limp hands and squeeze it into her own.

"I can't--- I need to go home," he said, almost whined, "I--- I don't know what's happening," he wheezed.

"I know, I know," she suddenly moved to sit at the head of the bed and pulled Harry close to her chest in an embrace of some sort. Louis was shocked to see how easily he fell into it.

"My---my father," he sobbed, eyes, nose and cheeks all wet now, "he has to know--- I have to go home."

"Harry," Louis rasped out, shocked at the tone of his own voice. Louis looked at his mother who nodded with a painstaken look in her eyes.

"Can I go home now, please?" Harry pulled away, now recoiling slightly from his mother's touch.

"Hon, you---- we can send notice to the farm that you're here but--" she bit her bottom lip, her one hand on Harry's shoulder, the moment now frozen.

"But what?" Harry looked back and forth between the two of them, "please tell me, please," he begged.

"Your, um, your father he," Louis sighed and looked down, admitting defeat; he had to tell him, "I'm afraid he's no longer with us, Harry."

"W-with us?" Harry repeated, his face suddenly contorted into something Louis couldn't even comprehend, "my father is dead?" He squawked.

There were tears falling down his face again, a hand covering his mouth and his whole body was shaking.

Louis reacted instantly, sitting at the other side of the bed and rubbing Harry's back while he cried into his mother's blouse.

When Louis had pictured this day last night and earlier today, he knew it would be bad, terrible even, but this, this was way worse than what he pictured it to be and Louis wasn't sure what to do anymore.

He could feel a lump form in his own throat, heavy and expanding gradually. His mother was already crying, trying her best to comfort him by hugging him.

"Harry, it's okay, love. We'll find a way to get you home, we will," she said once his sobs turned less vocal.

Harry pulled away swiftly, rubbing the underneaths of his eyes aggressively, almost as if he were embrassed about crying.

"I--" a sob wracked through his body, "where---where do I stay?"

"You can stay here as long as you need to, hon," his mum said, her eyes were filled with sorrow; she was feeling his pain just as Louis was sure he was too.

"B-but---"

"Louis will post a letter to the farm and we'll find your home from there, yes? In the mean time, you have us, Harry," she said it with such ferocity in her voice that it seemed to have put an end to Harry's sobbing at once.

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"We'll find your home, Harry," Louis chimed in, placing what he hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Harry looked up at Louis, his eyes red and shining with tears, cheeks blotchy, "why---- what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember?" He then looked at Louis' mother.

"It probably has something to do with how you hit your head," she explained, her own cheeks were slightly damp, visible from where Louis sat through the light shining through their thin curtains, "I've seen it before with them soldiers."

Harry still cried, silent bullet-shaped drops fell onto the duvet, "I---I can't remember anything," he let out a sudden wail that startled the two, bringing his hands up to his hair and pulling, tugging at the roots, his knees shifted up to his chest, curling himself in, "why can't I remember anything?"

"Harry," his mother reached forward to pry his hands out of his hair, her eyes wide and concerned, "Harry, dear it's all right, you're okay."

If Louis weren't any wiser, he would think Harry was going crazy by the way his body shook and hands fisted, fingernails digging so hard into his palm that they left crescent marks in their wake.

"But I can't remember anything," he protested, voice weak and defeated, nose runny and red.

"That's not your fault, love. You're alive and well and that's what matters,"

"But I have no family left," Harry whispered, tone eerie and dark. A shiver ran through Louis' spine.

"Well---" Louis' mum hesitated but decided to continue anyways, "Well you have us and I know you don't know us, Harry, but I assure you we will look after you and when you get back home, we'll still be there for you if you need us, yes?"

Louis stared at his mother, slightly shocked. Harry... well, it would be rude to call him a stranger still but essentially, he still felt like it. They knew close to nothing about him and he had only been in their home for about a fortnight.

Harry seemed taken aback too, eyes searching his mother's, as if looking for a sign that she may be untruthful.

"I--- I've already overstayed my welcome," Harry replied solemnly, "I couldn't ask that of you," his lips trembled again.

"Oh, dear," she offered her hand of comfort over his back this time.

"May I--- may I be alone for a while, please?" He asked, staring at them with pleading eyes.

"Of course," his mum got up, grabbing the plate, "I'm so sorry, hon," she reached down and touched his cheek delicately, giving him a sad smile before walking to the door.

Louis got up himself, turning to Harry, feeling utterly helpless. He opened his mouth a good few times, attempting to speak but nothing came out until finally, "Harry," he called out, voice surprisingly steady. Harry looked up at him. "We'll get you back home, okay? You have my word."

They stared at each other, the room suddenly feeling much too cold for Louis' liking yet the warm ambers in Harry's eyes that melted away with his tears kept Louis at bay.

Slowly yet dubiously, Harry nodded.

Unsure of what else to say, Louis sauntered out the room only to hear the echoes of small cries and soft whimpers haunt him with every step he took away from the door.

In the kitchen where he met with his mother again, the two only passed each other solemn looks, feeling that this wasn't the time to talk about anything as yet; nothing seemed appropriate enough to talk about, given the fact that they had a young boy only a few metres away, wailing over the loss of his memories, his father and his home. 


	2. II: Harry

It was... odd.

That was the only thing that came to mind when Harry thought about his life as of recently.

He was pushed suddenly into a whole other world, from what it seemed like, frighteningly unprepared for the reality of such a world at that. Everything seemed like such a blur to him; it was fuzzy and short and nothing was coherent.

As far as he was concerned, he should still be in his father's study, reading up on the papers about their stock and commissions then sneaking in a few pages of a book or two from the shelves, not in a stranger's house, unable to walk nor recall the past year of his life.

_A_ _whole_ _year._

Now... now he wasn't sure what to think or feel anymore. He wasn't sure which place to call home anymore. He was left without a father, without his memories; he was of no use to these strangers and yet they still helped him.

The kind nurse, Jay, she brought him food everyday and still checked up on him even during the few days he had stopped speaking to her--- or anyone in the household really, too in shock to say anything.

Of course now, she was helping him get back up on his feet again, literally. It wasn't that he couldn't walk per sé, it was just that his legs would only carry him a few steps before they felt like jelly and start to wobble underneath him.

Today was better than the last two times he had tried though. Today, he made it to the living room at least, her hands at his sides in case he stumbled or fell. Granted, the journey to the living room had taken far longer than it would for it to be normal but she had reassured him that nothing was wrong and that he was doing fine.

He didn't get that at all.

He was not fine. He was most certainly not okay.

Harry couldn't even walk properly for Pete's sake, what part of that was 'normal' or 'fine'?

She was a nurse during the war that helped soldiers. Those soldiers whom she'd helped had gotten injured during the war; to her, those injuries must have been normal.

Harry injuries were not normal. He was no soldier nor had he even gone to war.

"You're doing well, hon," she smiled kindly, her eyes crinkling at the edges as she carefully helped him sit down on an armchair placed near the window on his left.

He pasted on a smile, "thanks," he said anyways.

His legs had already hurt; they ached right down to his bones, he was humiliated.

"Love, there's nothin' to be ashamed of, you're healing, aren't ya?" She stared at him, her gaze too mother-like for him to argue against.

"I suppose," Harry sighed. A chilly breeze blew the window shutters opened then, making him shiver. He rubbed over his arms, feeling goosebumps over the skin.

Jay walked to the shutters and pulled them shut. She turned to him, straightening out her dress, an apologetic smile on her face.

"The winds' a bit icy up here, innit?" She walked to the couch adjacent to him and sat down, leaning her upper body over the arm of the couch so her full attention was on Harry.

"Um, yes, it is," he agreed then frowned, "You allowed your children to go out to the beach."

He kept his tone as neutral as possible, not wanting to sound too prejudice over her parenting skills over her own children.

She chuckled softly, "they barely go into the water itself, just play on the sand mostly."

"Oh," Harry nodded. A rip at the edge of the rug in the middle of the room caught his attention. It looked much more like a burn now that he was focusing on it more; browned and sharp at each torn edge through the hole.

"Louis did that," Jay said, her gaze fixed on the burnt end of the rug too, "tried to make some sort of treats for the girls and ended up having to put out a flaming potato with the rug."

Harry barked out a laugh. The laugh seemed to have startled Jay but she still had a smile on her face, a surprised and delighted one.

"Sorry," he apologised, a burn developing over his cheeks.

"Don't apologise, hon. You have a lovely laugh," she grinned at him.

Harry accepted the comment with a modest smile then looked to his right where a tall --albeit cramped-- bookshelf was next to the fireplace.

"You like to read?" She asked, sitting up straighter, as if she were ready to grab a book for him.

"I--- yes, I do but you don't have to get anything for me, it's all right,"

She smirked, her lips twitching, "I wasn't going to, love."

"Oh," Harry felt his cheeks grow hotter.

"I was going to suggest that you get one yourself and I'll be right behind you of course," she gestured toward the bookshelf again and Harry bit his lip in contemplation.

He looked at the bookshelf. There were a few opened areas at the bottom, left for newer books, Harry hoped. One particular book caught his eye.

Wuthering Heights.

He recognised the old leather brown cover with gold letters anywhere. It was the exact same one he had.

He grinned.

"Well, hon, did you see something you like?" She asked.

Harry nodded, "I--- I'll get it then."

They both stood up. Harry's muscles still ached in protest every time he so much as moved them, bones cracking as he took one step toward the shelf.

Jay wad behind him, as she said she would be, a hand extended outward just in case.

He felt mechanical in the way he moved towards the books. There was a hiss then a sigh and finally he stood in front of the books.

Something so comforting radiated off of books that brought a sense of home to Harry that he wasn't sure anything else delivered, not even the farm itself.

All right, that was aside from Dandelion, their cow from the farm--- one of them at least.

His heart suddenly ached. Was she all right? Was there someone there to look after her? Did they know the way she liked to be bathed or were they mistreating her?

Harry swallowed the heavy metal that sat in his throat. With shaky hands, he pulled _Wuthering_ _Heights_ out from the second shelf, his knees already beginning to buckle slightly.

"All right, love?" Jay asked kindly.

Harry jumped a bit, momentarily forgetting his surroundings and situation. He nodded quickly and turned around to see Jay's eyes studying his features cautiously.

They all had _those_ eyes, Harry noticed. Something about the way they sparkled when they looked at Harry made him shudder with wonder.

Harry looked down at his feet as they moved over the wood, covered in soft woolen socks that Jay had lent him.

He sat down on the armchair again with a soft thud, the seat of it sinking in slightly, caving around his bum. He shifted until he felt comfortable then opened the leather-bound book, placing it carefully over his lap.

The rough, pale yellow pages immediately hit Harry with a sense of happiness and that comfort he had expected. Still, he couldn't fully be comfortable so long as Jay kept staring at him like that.

He looked up at her in question, feeling bashful and unsure.

She gave him a shy smile, "Sorry, love. Let me just get you a blanket," she scurried away before Harry could even speak.

He watched her trudge past the kitchen and then next to the stairs where his vision was then disrupted by the rickety wood.

Sighing, Harry made the decision to bring his legs up to the chair, tucking it underneath himself so his feet did not get too cold.

Regardless of any socks or shoes he wore, Harry's feet still always stayed annoyingly frozen.

There was a crick and a crack in his legs as he manoeuvred them up but once they were underneath the warmth of his thighs, he let out a satisfied sigh, the book still held tightly in his right hand as he placed it over the arm of the chair this time.

"Here you go, hon," Jay appeared again, a checkered red and white blanket in her hand and that typical smile on her face.

Harry accepted it graciously, "thank you," he said.

She smiled at him, "You warm yourself up while I get some dinner started."

With that, she was gone again. Harry was left with the pages of one of his favourites books, awaiting to take him away into another world that he knows is safe enough to be in, one where it was guaranteed he would remember what was happening.

In the cusp of a moment, Harry wondered how many books he'd read during a year that he could not remember and the feeling was bittersweet. 

He could get the chance to reread a whole new batch of incredible literature yet there would definitely be a few that just didn't sit well with him at the end of the day.

At this point in time, he would take hundreds of poor literature or unpleasant books over what he was currently experiencing.

He just yearned to remember again.

Recurring thoughts pushed it's way to the front of his mind, making it impossible for Harry to concentrate on anything the characters were saying.

_The ‘walk  in’ was uttered with closed teeth, and expressed the sentiment, ‘Go  to  the  Deuce:’ even the gate---_

He winced, teeth gritted together. Harry tried again.

_‘Go  to  the  Deuce:’ even the gate---_

"You tryna burn a hole through my book, are ya?"

Harry flinched, instinctively shutting the book closed as if he hadn't had permission to read it in the first place.

Louis.

Jay's eldest child and only son from what he had learnt.

Louis was a sharp looking man with cutting cheekbones and piercing eyes and a dust of hair around the lower half of his face.

Today, the usual specks of light brown hair were darker and more prominent; Harry guessed that he hadn't shaved it off for a good few days then.

It gave him a more rugged and handsome look though his features, when Harry really noticed, were soft and gentle. His eyes twinkled over that baby blue, his lips were thin but pink and his smile, whenever he had rarely shown it around Harry, gave him a jovial look.

"I--- I'm sorry," Harry swallowed nervously, avoiding _those_ eyes. His gaze was cast downwards, the subject of interest being the burn over the rug that Louis himself had caused.

"No---- I," Louis sighed. Harry looked at him again.

"I didn't mean it like that, you just look---- um, you were looking at the book with so much of... concentration, I suppose, it looked like you were trying to, you know, burn the pages," Louis ended with a nervous, short laugh and pink cheeks.

Harry relaxed, slightly amused, "oh," he said, "Sorry about that then."

"'S fine," Louis cleared his throat. Harry watched as Louis ran a shaky hand through his already touseled hair, the strands sticking out even more now.

"Are you.... are you all right?"

If Harry hadn't known any better, he would say Louis looked nervous, anxious maybe?

"Yes, yes," Louis said, his lower half leaning against the back of the sofa, "I just---- I didn't mean to upset you or anything--- you can read whatever you'd like."

"Really?" Harry perked up slightly.

There was a soft smile on Louis' face that appeared slowly, "Yes, of course," he nodded towards the copy of Wuthering Heights, "that your favourite, then?"

"One of," Harry said.

"Not bad then," he jutted out his bottom lip as if he were impressed, "Brontë does have a way to my heart what with her melodrama and all that."

"Eloquent," Harry smirked at him, "is it your favourite then?"

"One of," he grinned.

The moment of intensity that they shared with each other felt infinite. Harry wasn't particularly one with words, despite his love for reading, although at times like this, he wished he were.

He couldn't describe what he felt every time Louis had looked at him. Granted, he hadn't been here for very long and Louis hadn't spent too much of time with Harry but it was like a swoop in his stomach. It felt like he was falling off of a cliff, eyes shut and heart in his throat but for some reason he didn't feel scared.

"Louis," Jay called out, a cloth over her shoulder as she approached her son, placing a kiss on his cheek, "Harry here walked all the way to the bookshelf today."

Harry flushed. It still hadn't felt like an accomplishment to him.

"That's great, Harry," Louis smiled and Harry felt that swoop again that he dutifully ignored.

"It's--- it's a bit frustrating--- you should thank your mum more than anything, I think," Harry licked his lips, eyes unable to move away from Louis.

He was objectively quite attractive for a man, that is. Nothing wrong with that.

"Nonsense, Harry is a delight," she winked at him. Then, Jay turned to her son, "You posted the letter then?"

"It's sent," Louis smiled tightly at the two. Harry knew what letter he was talking about. The letter to the farm.

"Is---- are you still getting produce from us then?" Harry asked, remembering this small little town being on the list of the places they provided for.

"Uh, no, we're not, love," Jay said, "but I hear there's still produce being sold--- just not here anymore, I'm afraid."

Harry nodded. He wondered if he had taken over for his father then. If so, why didn't he provide for Makenshire anymore? Was the business doing too badly to provide for so many towns?

His father would be so disappointed in him if he had let the business fail.

"Harry, love," Jay said. Harry blinked twice, looking at her, "d'ya hear that?"

"Um, the letter?"

"Yes, even though we sent it today, it'll take up to a week to get there, I'm afraid," Louis moved around the sofa so he could sit down where Jay sat earlier. He pulled his leg up to remove his shoes, "might be a bit more than a week before we hear anythin' back."

"Thank you," Harry said sincerely. He wasn't sure who they were, exactly, but they had taken Harry in and helped him in whatever way he needed. For that, Harry couldn't be more grateful.

If it weren't for Louis being on the beach that day, who knows what would have happened to Harry. He could have drowned, never to have been found again.

But, Louis was there and Louis saved him.

"Harry," Louis called out this time, "would you like a fire?"

Harry noticed that Jay had disappeared again, probably to check on the food, so he nodded, almost asking if Louis needed any help before he remembered that he couldn't help much, even if he wanted to.

"I always like a good fire at home," Louis said conversationally, bending down near Harry to grab a few blocks of wood.

Harry's eyes wandered down to his trousers but quickly snapped back up when he realised what he was doing. In time too, as Louis straightened up again and threw the wood into the fireplace, the logs landing loudly over the metal.

"Me too," Harry said quickly, realising he hadn't replied to Louis for a while.

Louis looked at him, almost studying him, eyes narrowing in the slightest. Harry felt the sudden need to hide his whole body underneath the blanket then.

"How's your head?"

Harry reached up to touch the bandage still over his wound, fingers light over the area, "I've forgotten it's there," he said honestly.

It hurt late last night but it hadn't caused him any trouble since this morning, even when he pinched his brows together or frowned too hard. Perhaps it was a good thing. He was really healing then. That, or it had gotten as numb as his toes and therefore he couldn't feel it anymore.

"So that's good then?" He asked Harry, one eyebrow raised, a box of matches in one hand and a matchstick in the other, held to the end of the box.

"I think so," Harry shrugged.

He watched in fascination as Louis lit the stick, the end engulfed by an orange flame, a quick hiss zipped through the air and his face was basked in a warm glow. The blues of his eyes were twinkling, dancing along with the flame as he stared at Harry for what felt like an eternity until finally, he threw the flame into the wood, the logs catching immediately.

"Never seen a fire before?" His lips turned upward, an amused lilt to his features.

"I have," Harry caught himself, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden, "your, um, your sisters are still out," he said, finding the need to change the subject to something less intense.

"Out?" Louis straightened up, brows furrowing, "Out where?"

"Well, they went to the beach, from what I heard," Harry said, his legs were starting to feel prickly now and fingers too cold where they still were wrapped loosely around the leather of the book.

He moved carefully, untucking his legs and letting his feet hit the ground.

"They should be back soon," Louis said, watching Harry carefully as he moved, " are you... are you okay?"

"Oh, yes, I'm fine--- just getting comfortable," he grinned at Louis.

Louis nodded. He opened his mouth as if he were about to say something when there was a sudden loud voice ringing through the house.

"Oh, mum that smells good," the voice said, causing Harry to jump off his seat a bit.

"Speaking of the devils," Louis muttered, turning to the front door, seeing the three girls run in, beaming at their brother.

Harry smiled as he hugged all three of them at once. A sibling was something he truly longed for, especially when he was younger. He'd seen all the town's children play with each other and he had one or two friends too but a siblings bond was something he craved.

And Louis seemed like the perfect role model for his younger sisters. They truly looked up to him, that much was evident to Harry.

"Hullo, Harry. How are you feeling?" Lottie, the oldest of the girls as Harry had come to find, asked Harry with a warm smile on her face.

"I'm fine thank you. And you all?" He added, looking at the twins too. He wasn't sure which one was which as yet, but if he was correct, the more brunette one was Daisy.

"We're good, the sand was fun to play in," Daisy (Harry hoped) said, plopping herself down onto the rug in front of the fireplace. She stuck out her small hands, hovering them over the warmth. Soon her sisters joined her on the rug, doing the same.

"It wasn't very hot out today, why'd you go?" Louis leaned against the side of the mantel, away from fire, thankfully.

"We just wanted to," Lottie shrugged, "it was warm enough."

Louis hummed and crossed his arms over his chest, "It's dangerous, you know, you could get hurt wi---"

"Louis, hush," Jay said, walking in, ruffling Lottie's hair playfully, "you were doing way worse at their age."

The girls giggled and even Harry bit back a smile at Louis' affronted expression.

"I just came to say that foods' ready and Harry," she turned to him, "you can join us today if you'd like, since you're here."

"Oh," Harry cleared his throat, "Uh, o-okay. How do I help?"

She laughed softly, "everything is done, darling, just come and eat."

She stepped away from the lot again and beckoned them over to the small dining room table. There were only four chairs though.

Upon noticing this, Harry began to decline but Louis stopped him before he could even get a full word out.

"We have another chair, it's all right," he assured Harry, stepping closer to him.

"Are you sure?" Harry gulped, now watching the girls take their seats at the table.

Louis grinned, "I'm sure."

Harry nodded shortly, then placed the book on the arm of the chair, his hands on either side to push himself off the seat.

Louis studied him, "do you need help?"

Harry felt himself grow hot again, his neck heating up too, "I'm fine," he declined politely.

"It's all right to ask for some help, you know, I won't tell," Louis said, a playful smile on his face, arms already extended out.

Harry felt himself smiling too, despite the humiliation that brewed in his stomach. He pushed it down when he gave Louis a short nod.

Louis seemed to understand, walking toward Harry slowly, carefully. Harry pushed himself off the armchair successfully, the blanket falling onto the ground.

"I'll pick it up later," Louis said, again before Harry could even react.

Harry turned to look at him, inhaling sharply when he realised how close they were standing next to each other. Warmth was spread across the expanse of his body when Louis' hand touched his waist. He jumped.

"Sorry," Louis pulled away swiftly, "I'm just going to steady you by your waist," he explained.

Harry nodded once again, feeling his body go tense as soon as Louis' hand touched his skin again--- his skin through the jumper he wore, that is.

"Right, you good then?" Louis asked from next to him.

Harry avoided turning to look at Louis and instead gave another short nod before taking a step forward.

Pain shot through his leg but it wasn't unbearable nor was it anything new so he moved his other leg and before he knew it, he was walking, slowly but surely to the kitchen, Louis' hand still keeping him safe and grounded over his waist.

Harry watched Jay smile lovingly at what Harry assumed was Louis as they walked over.

"Already that good again, are ya?" She teased Harry.

Harry chuckled, sheepishly smiling afterwards as Louis pulled out the spare chair from the table for him. Harry sat down instantly, sighing in relief.

"Don't over exert ya'self, hon," she warned him sternly but her tone was still kind, "you're doin' well."

Suddenly, Louis' touch was gone and Harry felt cold again. As cold as he did when he had gotten up this morning and the fresh sea breeze blew the windows in the room wide opened. Somehow, Louis' touch felt warmer than the fire they sat at.

Louis pulled one of the stray, old wooden chairs from the side of the fridge that Harry saw Jay use just a few days ago to get some oil from the top shelf of their small pantry.

He pushed himself next to Harry and Lottie, smiling sweetly at Harry.

Harry was overwhelmed by their generosity. He wasn't sure how he would ever repay them once he had gotten back to the farm.

Perhaps he could find a way to sell produce to this town again and send in some free cabbages or carrots or maybe both to this residency.

"You don't owe us anything, hon," jay said, her eyes searching his own, "I know that look already," she gave him a small smile.

"You've done so much--- doing so much--" he croaked.

"All I need from you is to get better," she passed him a yellow ceramic plate and then a spoon, "now eat somethin', yeah?"

"Thank you, Jay, so much," Harry said and he hoped he said it with as much of earnest as he had hoped.

"You're welcome," she reached over and patted his hand, "now come on, have some potatoes."

Harry smiled, feeling his vision blurring at the edges while she dished out a spoonful of potatoes onto his plate.

There was warmth suddenly, over his forearm. He looked down at Louis' hand over his arm then up at Louis, eyes blue and still somehow glowing.

"You really don't owe us anything, you know, we just want you to get better," Louis said.

Harry couldn't speak properly when they were this close to each other and he wasn't sure why. It was like his vocal chords were being held tight into a fist and all he could do was smile softly and nod.

That seemed like an answer enough for Louis though. He gave Harry one last crinkle-eyed smile--- the one that Jay had too--- then his warmth was gone again.

Not completely though. He was still sitting close next to Harry, enough so that it radiated off of him and sated Harry.

A feeling spread through his belly as he sat with the family, talked, smiled and even laughed, just like stepping into a warm house after being out in freezing cold snow, it engulfed him all at once and he welcomed the feeling with opened arms. Just like that, his teeth stopped shattering and cheeks turned pink from the heat.

Everything felt tender.

***

"Oh my, you've frightened me," Jay held a hand to her chest, letting out a breathy laugh. She approached the coach next to Harry's usual armchair.

"I'm sorry," Harry apologised sheepishly, adjusting himself on the chair, almost as if he were making himself more presentable for her.

"It's all right," she waved her hand, "you walked by yourself," she grinned widely at him.

"I did," he felt his cheeks grow hot, "just thought I'd give it a try."

He woke up fairly early in the morning, feeling less tired than he had for the past few days since he had woken up. In fact, it was so early that the sun had barely shone through the room window and he had heard Louis rustling about in the kitchen with his mum to get ready to go to work.

Harry had come to find that Louis worked hard for his family. On the days he actually came home early enough for supper, he looked exhausted. On weekends, he always kept himself busy and he would go to the theatre in the afternoons. If Harry hadn't known any better, he would have thought Louis was just avoiding being home and although Harry wouldn't want to sound vain, he would say it was because of him.

But Louis, whenever he did speak to Harry, was nothing but kind, sometimes a bit shy which Harry found extremely endearing though he would never admit it out loud. He wouldn't want to make Louis uncomfortable.

"That's wonderful, hon," she said, the smile on her face never leaving, "I see you have another book in your hand, done with the other then?"

Harry glanced down at the book on his lap, looking older than some of the rest with it's pages more pale yellow in colour and dog ears on the front cover.

"It's one of my favourites of all time," his lips twitched slightly, memories of him reading the book for the first time come to mind.

"I think it's Louis' too but god knows that boy could never choose a favourite between all his books. He would probably be offended if you had to ask him," Jay laughed lightly, a fond look in her eyes.

"So he loves all of these then?" Harry asked, almost in awe, taking in the dozens of books on the shelves.

"More or less, I suppose," she shrugged, her gown over her shoulders made her seem broader with the shoulder pads stuffed into them and she looked beautiful as always.

"Does he have time to read them?" Harry asked before he could stop himself. He pursed his lips, eyes widening immediately, "I'm sorry if that's too invasive, I didn't me---"

"It's fine, love," she chuckled, "he has been a bit busy recently, more than usual but he has always been someone that likes to keep himself busy all the time doing something or another and I'm sure his family can only entertain him so much."

"Right," Harry smiled politely at her, "I can help you today, in the kitchen I mean."

"You don't need to, hon," she shook her head, "I'll manage and the girls are here as well."

"Jay, I insist, you've done so much for me already," Harry gave her his best pleading, puppy eyes, smiling victoriously when she sighed and nodded.

"You rest for now and I'll bring you some toast, okay?"

"I can do it," Harry said, watching her get up again.

"It's fine, it's done already," she waved him off again and scurried off before he could say anything more.

Harry sighed, his body sagging further into the already sunken couch. It was warmer today so Harry didn't need a blanket this time. Instead he opened the book slowly, hearing the pages crack slightly, and started reading.

He had almost every line memorized and yet he still couldn't get enough of the book. It brought a spark to his heart, seeing how worn out the book was, hearing Jay say that it was probably Louis' favourite too; knowing someone else enjoyed it as much as he did.

Still, he wanted to savour the book because he had a tendency to read quickly.

So after he had his toast, he followed Jay into the kitchen to help her despite her thousand and one protests. He stood on his feet which he was proud off as his bum began to ache and grow numb from sitting so much.

"You should take some walks in the morning, I think," Jay had said to him while chopping up some carrots.

"I think I'd like that,"

Truly, he was beginning to miss the outside world from being inside for so long. Having morning walks seemed very appealing to him. With a determined nod, he made a note to himself to start tomorrow morning.

It turned out that Louis was skipping supper with them tonight as he was occupied with something else. Of course Harry hadn't known that until they had all sat down to eat and Jay informed him that Louis would be out helping a friend.

The girls seemed to like his stew recipe though to which Jay seemed to be offended by although she tried not to show it.

"Did you used to make this at the farm, Harry?" Lottie asked him while they'd washed the dishes.

"Yes, it was my father's favourite," Harry smiled, feeling of nostalgia washing over him, "Rose, our helper, she taught me how to make it."

Harry remembered her smiling fondly at him while he paid close attention to what items she put into the pot. After his mother, Rose had been the closest thing he had to a motherly figure in his life. He cherished the times he had with her before she was banished from the farm by his father.

His father wasn't too happy about the fact that she had taught Harry how to cook; how to use their variety of fruits and vegetables in everyday cooking, encouraging him, telling him how his mother would have been so proud of him for being so talented.

"It's delicious," she smiled at him, passing him a bowl to wipe clean, "Louis will love it."

Harry felt that same warmth in his belly at that, "he'll be back soon then?"

She turned to glance at the old grandfather clock down the hallway, squinting slightly, "soon," she confirmed with a nod.

"He seems nice," Harry said, not wanting to stay in silence.

"He's the best," she said without missing a beat, "don't tell him that I said this but he's very excited that he's found someone as enthusiastic about his books as he is."

Harry paused, "really?"

"Yes," she nodded with a knowing grin on her face, "You were reading one of his favourites, earlier on."

"That's what your mum said," Harry grinned back at her, "that and also that he can't really choose between all of them."

"It changes all the time," Lottie said, opening the tap to rinse the now empty sink, "but that one in particular is one I've seen him with often."

"Oh, would he mind then?" Harry asked worriedly, wiping his hands dry with the cloth.

"No," she shook her head, taking the cloth from Harry and wiping her own hands, "I told you, he's excited that you like books as much as he does, none of us do that's for sure," she snorted.

"That's unfortunate," Harry muttered, seeing her smirk, "He hasn't been here much though," he added quietly.

"He's aloof like that sometimes," she shrugged, "but it's normally when he needs some time to himself."

"Oh, I don't want to pry but is he all right?" Harry asked, eyebrows pinched together.

"He's fine but it gets a bit much, being with family so much I guess, I'm feeling it recently as well as much as I love them. I think he's thinking about moving away," she smiled sadly but there was still a happy look in her eyes, almost proud.

"Is that... um, is that bad?" Harry asked hesitantly.

Lottie took a moment to reply, eventually shaking her head slowly, "he deserves it because he's done so much for us."

"I see," Harry nodded. He couldn't say anything more as he hardly knew Louis himself.

"You're a lovely person, Harry," she said then, "I hope you get home soon and I hope you don't forget about us."

"I won't," Harry said earnestly, "if I don't hit my head again," he chuckled weakly.

Lottie didn't though, she just winced.

"Too soon, sorry," he grimaced.

"No, it's okay," she said quickly, "I'm just glad you're doing better."

She left soon after their conversation to her room and Harry meant to go to his too but the book left on the armchair was already calling to him. He bit his lip in contemplation then in a lieu of a moment he sauntered into the living room, grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch then the book and slipped down onto the floor where his bum was over the rug and back against the armchair.

He attempted to be as quiet as possible, the warmth of the blanket enough to keep him satisfied while he turned the aged pages of the book, completely engrossed as always.

He wasn't sure how much of time went by but the front door squeaking opened startled him out of his trance with the book and eyes snapped to the direction of the door.

Louis walked in, shrugging his coat off and hanging it on the rack, eyes widening when he spotted Harry in the living room, sitting on the floor.

"Hey," Louis said quietly, approaching Harry slowly, "You're awake," he said, sliding against the adjacent couch, sitting right next to Harry, essentially.

He inhaled sharply as Louis got comfortable, crossing his legs over each other.

" _Great Gatsby_ ," he said, glancing down at the book then up at Harry, a twinkle in his eyes and a small smile on his face, "do you like it?"

Harry almost scoffed, "probably my fifth or sixth time reading it," he replied proudly.

Louis huffed out his bottom lip, impressed, "I see you have very good taste in literature then."

"I should be saying that to you," Harry grinned, still noticing that twinkle in his eyes.

"I know a good book when I see it," he nodded towards the book again, "which part are you at?"

"Nick is at the party and he's talking to Jordan," Harry explained, "I'm not too fond of Nick," he frowned.

"Why?" Louis asked, a tilt of a smile on his face.

"He seems... like a... jackass I suppose," Harry shrugged.

"Jackass," Louis repeated with a short laugh, "He's all right, I suppose, but Daisy is the worst."

Harry's frown deepened, "why?"

"She's too shallow and superficial and she led Gatsby on for so long," Louis waved his hand in the air, nose wrinkled.

"It's not her fault Gatsby is an idiot," Harry said.

Louis' eyebrows shot up, "I mean yeah the lad was stupid but god, she led him on, all he wanted was her love."

Harry exhaled, "I guess so but he was a bit dumb, don't you think?"

"He was in love," Louis shrugged, "love makes you do crazy things."

"I don't think he was in love," Harry said quietly, almost shyly, "I think he was infatuated."

"From what I read, I think he was in love with her, he did everything for her, built his whole life around her and was heart broken when she didn't reciprocate," Louis said, gnawing at his bottom lip. Harry's eyes were stuck on the action over his lips.

"I just think that maybe he was in love with the idea of her more than anything," Harry said, throat a little dry, "she wasn't very nice after all and neither was he so they deserve each other."

Louis had an amused grin on his face, "You're quite cheeky when you want to be, aren't you?"

Harry flushed, his neck growing hot, "uh, sorry."

"No, don't apologise, I like it," Louis nudged his leg under the blanket with his knuckle, "how's your legs then?"

Harry still felt his touch through the warmth of the blanket as if someone had placed a direct flame over that spot that Louis touched. "I'm walking fine, think I'm going to go out for morning walks from tomorrow."

"That's great," he said, nothing but sincerity in his eyes, "You know, maybe you could come to the chippy with me, where I work."

Harry swallowed, "um, yes, sure, I-- I think I'll get used to the walking in the mornings first."

Louis gave him a gentle smile, "That's all right."

Then there was silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't comfortable either. Somewhere in between.

"There should be a response from the farm soon," Louis said, breaking the silence.

"I know,"

"Do you, um, is there anyone else that could take over the farm after your father?"

Harry still winced at the thought of his father not being alive anymore. It was still surreal. He was all Harry had ever known for his whole life; his father was the only constant.

"Just---- just me," he replied quietly.

"Oh... I'm sorry if I've crossed a line by asking you t---"

"It's fine," Harry shook his head and he truly meant it, "can you, um, I've been meaning to ask... how did you see me, out at sea I mean?"

Louis' smile fell, eyes fixed on his lap where his hands rested, "I was out for a morning stroll actually," he chuckled mirthlessly, "You yelled out for help and I saw you and by the time I saw you, you had hit your head over the rock near the cliff and you were unconscious after that."

"Oh," Harry swallowed. Out of instinct, his hand reached up to press against the bandage over his temple.

"I, uh, I carried you a while," his eyes were now where Harry's hand was, "then I ran into Cap'n Gilly, the one we told you about, and his crew helped carry you back here."

Yes, Harry remembered Jay and Louis telling him about Cap'n Gilly a few days after he had woken up, just after he had started walking with Jay actually.

"Thank you," Harry replied, feeling emotional, his eyes glossy, "I really can't thank you or your family or even um..."

"Cap'n Gilly?" Louis offered with a smile.

"Yes, him and his crew," Harry smiled bashfully back at him, "I don't know what would have happened if you ha---"

"Hey, none of that," Louis reached over and grabbed Harry's free hand that rested over the rug, giving it a firm squeeze, "you're here now and you're okay, youre safe."

Harry felt that spark ignite again, warmth spreading all over his insides. His hand twitched in Louis'. Only then did it seem to have registered to Louis what he was doing. He pulled his hand back as if burned by Harry's warmth of a fire.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's fine," Harry said, "Thank you," he grinned at Louis, watching Louis' cheeks turn pink.

"You don't need to thank me," Louis said, "just get better so that we can take a walk to the chippy soon, yeah?"

Harry let out a small chuckle, "you're determined to get me there, it seems."

"It would be nice to show off my skills to someone other than me mum and sisters," he smirked. Harry gave him a crooked smile, an edge of a laugh and a flush to his cheeks.

"Speaking of," Harry sat up straighter, "I made stew."

Louis grinned again, "You did? And mum let you?"

"With great difficulty," Harry chortled, "but your sisters seemed to like it more than your mum's."

"Oh, dear, she wouldn't like hearing that,"

"I'm sure she's better at many other things than me," Harry shrugged, "there's some left for you; I didn't know if you'd eaten or not."

"I haven't actually," Louis bit his lip, "do you mind if I have some and join you?"

Harry felt a swoop again in his abdomen, "I don't mind at all, will have another person compliment my stew, won't I?"

Louis laughed and Harry felt his breathing stutter in his chest, "cheeky, cheeky," Louis muttered with a teasing twist of his lips before getting up with a groan.

"Be back soon," he said, looking down at Harry and winking.

Harry let out a breath as Louis entered the kitchen. He wasn't sure what it was that he was feeling but he liked the thrill it brought him, the feeling of content it brought to his heart.

When Louis came back, Harry perked up again, waiting for him to join Harry. He sat down at his previous spot, the bowl in his hand, already putting a spoonful in his mouth and moaning around the spoon.

Harry's eyes widened at the obscene sound and looked down, more than certain that his cheeks were red now.

"Oh mum's definitely in trouble," Louis said, mouth half full.

"Thanks,"

"You're welcome," he shifted a bit, "now tell me how do you feel about Ms. Jordan Baker."

It was easy to talk to Louis. They hadn't run out of things to speak about to each other. Harry wasn't sure he had ever had a conversation like that with someone before. It was something unusual yet so easy to him at the same time.

By the time they had finished speaking about the Great Gatsby and the characters, symbolism and so on and so forth, it was nearing the early hours of the morning.

Guilt washed over Harry when he realized that Louis would have to be up soon for work but Louis had reassured him that it was nothing, he would be fine and thanked him for a pleasant conversation, again it seemed like that fiery glow lingered in his bright blue eyes.

It made Harry happy, he realised with a start, he felt happy and content speaking to Louis. Something he hadnt felt speaking to anyone else in a long time.

***

The next morning he was awake at the same time as Louis. He walked into the kitchen to see Louis at the table, a mug in his hand while Jay was at the stove.

"Morning," he smiled at Harry.

"Morning," he greeted him then Jay with a smile too.

"Up early to go for a walk then?" Jay asked. She turned around to push a plate of eggs towards Louis, "I've made extra."

"Thank you," Harry said, taking a seat next to Louis, already feeling himself shiver from the close proximity.

"How did you sleep?" Louis asked, bringing the mug to his lips and sipping the beverage loudly. If it were any other person, Harry would be slightly annoyed by it but he found himself almost... endeared by it.

Odd.

"Better than normal and how about you both?"

Jay passed him a plate and a mug of what looked like tea, "I slept well," she said.

"Good," Louis said to him, smiling. There were prominent bags under his eyes that Harry couldn't help but feel responsible for.

"You know, you can walk with Louis before he goes to work," Jay suggested, looking at Louis briefly.

Louis nodded at his mother then looked at Harry, "I have a bit of time," he shrugged, "what do ya say?"

Harry nodded, before he could even fathom his actions, "I don't want to make you late though."

"I have some time," he reassured him, "come on, eat something and we'll take a walk."

"Y-Yeah okay," Harry gave him a crooked smile, reaching for some of the eggs and sipping his tea slowly.

They left out into the nipping wind after that. Harry shuddered as soon as they stepped out.

Louis turned to him worriedly, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine, wind is a bit cold, that's all," he smiled weakly. He hoped the icy wind wouldn't affect the ache in his legs that was slowly disappearing.

"All right," Louis hummed, "if you want to go back any time just tell me, yes?"

"Yes," Harry agreed.

They took a stroll to the left of the house, passing some identical to Jay's home, a few differences in the colours of the fences and the health of the grass outside the houses.

It was mostly silent but Harry found that, again, it wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought it would be.

The clouds were grey as always, the brightness only coming from the contrast of the sky. There was sun somewhere behind the clouds.

"The weather is a bit miserable, isn't it?" Louis asked, seeing Harry looking up at the sky.

"It is," Harry said honestly, "but I suppose it could be worse."

Louis stared at him, "glass half full kind of fella, huh?"

"It's good to be optimistic in a world like this; full of war and hate," Harry answered, kind of morbidly at that, "Sorry--- just my thoughts, I suppose."

"No, you're right," he agreed, "we need more people like you."

Harry wondered then how old Louis was, whether he had gone to war or not. It was never mentioned by any of their family members before, even when they spoke about Jay being a nurse during the war.

"What is it?" Louis asked him, a smile on his face, "Seems like you're thinking about something."

Harry faltered a bit, wondering how Louis could tell but he supposed most people could see when someone else was deep in thought.

"Um, forgive me if I'm being too invasive but I was wondering if you had gone to war to fight. I--- I know your mum was so..." he ended with a small shrug.

"You're not being too invasive," Louis started then sighed, "when the war started I was too young," he explained, "during the fifth year of the war, I had turned eighteen but I couldn't leave my sisters to fend for themselves--- they were too young--- and my father was long gone and we weren't sure if my mother would even be back so I did what I had to do and stayed for them."

"Wow," Harry breathed out, "that's very brave of you."

It was true. It was admirable how Louis had stayed to look after his family because Harry wasn't sure how many people would do that.

"You don't have to say that," Louis chuckled humourlessly.

"No, it is," he said fiercely, "you did what not many men would do and that's very brave--- you don't have to fight violently to be brave."

Louis stared at him again, seemingly shocked, "Well, thank you," he said quietly then averted his gaze to the pavement, "did you fight?"

Harry shook his head, "I was too young. By the time I turned eighteen, the war had ended already."

"How old are you then? Twenty two?"

"Twenty one, I suppose" Harry replied, "You must be twenty three then."

"I will be later this year. You don't remember your birthday then?"

"Well, you've mentioned that it's August and I would have turned twenty one back in February," he gave Louis a wry smile.

"I'm sorry,"

"It's all right," Harry shrugged, "there'll be more birthdays to celebrate I suppose."

"There will be," Louis said earnestly, pausing at the end of a street then turning to Harry. Harry looked at him, frowning. "You're brave too, you know?"

Harry started to shake his head but Louis continued before he could say anything.

"You are," he insisted, "your whole world had basically turned upside down in just a few hours and yet here you are, walking, breathing, alive; still looking at the world so optimistically, that's brave."

Harry wasn't sure why but the words made him emotional. He gave Louis a lop-sided smile, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Louis' eyes were glued on his. Again, a moment where they didn't speak, just looked, until Louis again broke the silence, "we should head back," he cleared his throat.

"Yes," Harry agreed. He could go on a bit further but he didn't want to delay Louis nor did he want to push himself too much.

"I hope you'll join me to the chippy one of these days," Louis said as they approached the house.

Harry found himself smiling, "I hope so too."

Louis let out a breathy laugh, "cheeky," he hummed.

"Wasn't very cheeky," Harry shrugged nonchalantly, "just agreeing with you, aren't I?"

"I suppose," Louis stopped in front of the house, turning to Harry again, "in all seriousness though, I hope you do, Harry. I, um, I quite enjoy your company." His eyes were on the ground and his cheeks were flushed.

Harry was sure his cheeks looked the same, "um, thank you. I---I enjoy yours too."

Louis finally looked up at Harry again, "I should get going then," he gestured behind himself, "I enjoyed our walk," he smiled.

"I did too, thank you, Louis," he said genuinely.

"No need to thank me," Louis waved him off, "like I said, I enjoy your company."

"Right," Harry smiled bashfully, diverting his gaze, "um, have a good day then."

"You too, Harry," Harry could hear the smile in his voice though he wasn't sure how that was possible, "tell ma I've left for work, would ya?"

"Sure," Harry saw him again and he was definitely smiling. Harry was certain he hadnt stopped smiling either and again, he wasn't exactly sure as to why. Louis was just... He was good company, Harry figured.

He watched Louis turn around and saunter off hastily, his hands shoved into his coat pocket. Harry copied his actions, shoving his hands into his--- Louis' --- coat pocket and heading inside again, his mood brightened early in the morning already.


	3. III: Louis

The walk was quiet with Harry by his side but Louis enjoyed the silence with him. There was just something about Harry that drew Louis to him. He was intelligent, kind and a little bit cheeky and quirky too. It was safe to say that Louis hadn't met anyone like him before, not someone that caught Louis' attention as much as he did. Maybe Louis was a bit biased because he was already endeared by him from the time he spotted Harry reading one of his books and then they spoke, more and more and more.

Conversation never seemed to run out between the two. Whether they would speak about their favourite authors or books or even about Louis' work and Harry's time that he remembered at the farm; every bit just kept Louis in a trance. He held onto every word Harry spoke, and he spoke quite slowly mind you.

At first Louis was afraid that it had been because of his brain injury but Harry just laughed and assured him that it wasn't and that he had always spoken at that pace.

Earlier this morning, Harry came into the kitchen as Louis ate, just like he had been doing for the past few days.

"Can I come with you today?" Harry had asked.

Louis grinned at him, instantly knowing what that had meant.

"Straight walk to the chippy then?" Louis asked, trying to refrain from smiling too much.

A thing he had noticed that he had been doing a lot of lately; smiling. It wasn't as if he hadn't smiled before it was just... more so now than before. And he knew that the reason why he was had dimples and curly hair.

"Thank you for taking me," Harry said, his voice quiet and sincere.

Louis glanced at him as they walked. He was quite attractive. That was as far as Louis would let himself think. He didn't want to make Harry uncomfortable. He wondered then if he would be repulsed by Louis' sexuality just as most other people were.

Louis couldn't think of Harry being anything but kind towards someone else.

"You're welcome," Louis said, "I told you I would, didn't I?"

"I hope your boss won't mind," Harry muttered, a small pinch between his brows.

"He's barely there anyways," Louis rolled his eyes, thinking about Finn and his lazy arse.

"Oh," was all Harry said, no specific tone to it either.

"You may end up bored," Louis wrinkled his nose, "I'll be busy cooking."

"I'll help then," Harry shrugged, "I don't think I could get bored of your company, you know?"

Louis had the decency to blush at the comment, "I didn't know but thank you for telling me."

When they reached the food truck, Finn was waiting outside, a thick jacket on and greasy hair with a week-old beard.

"Finn," Louis greeted, tone clipped, "what are you doing here? Bit late for you to still be here innit?"

"Watch your tone, Louis," he sneered, "I'm here to tell ya that I won't be here for the next week or so and you need to look after the truck, Gilly'll come soon with the supply."

So do what he had been doing for the past, what, ten years?

"You have the keys?" He asked Louis.

"Yes,"

Finn hummed then looked over Louis' shoulder, forehead wrinkled, "and who's this then?"

Louis felt an urge to stand right in front of Harry. "A friend," he said.

Finn made a noise that was somewhere between a hum and acknowledgment, his eyes scanned Harry up and down.

All right, that was enough. Louis stepped in front of Harry this time, "is that all?" He gritted out.

Finn's thin lips slowly turned up into a smirk, "good luck then," he gave Harry a once over before slowly turning away.

Once he was out of sight, Louis turned to Harry, seeing his face scrunched up. "Are you all right?"

Harry nodded, "he seems like a jackass."

Louis snorted, "he is worse than that," Louis pulled out the keys from his pocket then stepped up the metal stairs, turning the key into the lock before swinging it opened. He looked at Harry, beckoning him over, "come on."

Harry smiled before stepping into the truck behind Louis. The truck shook underneath their weight. Louis saw Harry stumbling slightly as he walked in.

"Sorry," Louis smiled sheepishly at him, "here," he pulled the chair (that Finn normally lounged in) closer to him for Harry to sit down on.

"Thank you," Harry said, sitting on the chair, shifting a bit to get comfortable. He smiled up at Louis, "So, what now?"

"Now, I clean up the place a little bit," Louis turned around to grab the cloth from underneath the small sink, "then I wait for Cap and get to work."

"You have to clean the fish too?" Harry asked, leaning forward, his arms resting over his knees.

"Unfortunately," Louis said, wiping at the small counter, "But I'm more or less a pro at it now."

Harry laughed, "modest too, I see."

"When you're good, you're good," Louis winked at Harry, delighted to see him blush.

"Louis, my boy," a loud, booming voice with that slight rasp called out.

Louis instantly smiled, turning around to see Cap'n Gilly trudging toward the truck.

"Cap'n," Louis greeted back, "I see you have my fish with you," he said looking down at the large bucket in his hands.

"That I do," he patted the blue plastic then his eyes shifted to the right, "is that---"

"Oh," Louis stood up straight and walked to Harry, "Yes, this is Harry."

Harry stood up, extending his hand out, an award-winning smile on his face, "hello."

Gilly let out a boisterous, belly-warming laugh, "So good t' see ya," he pushed the bucket over the higher counter towards Louis and grabbed Harry's hand in both of his giving him a toothy grin(with whatever teeth he had left that is).

Harry seemed surprised but his smile quickly returned to his face, his deep dimple popping.

Louis shuddered and looked away.

"How ya doin', lad?" Gilly asked, his hands now free of Harry's.

"I'm good, thank you so much for everything, by the way," Harry said, "I really appreciate it."

"Don't even mention it," he grinned, "glad to see you on your feet then."

"Thank you," Harry smiled, looking shy, "How are you doing?"

Gilly let out a short laugh, probably already as endeared by Harry as Louis was. "Good, good," he nodded then looked between the two of them, "You two should come over to the wharf some time."

Louis looked at Harry. Harry shrugged. "We'll see you one of the days, Cap," Louis promised.

"Hol' up to that promise, boy," he warned playfully, "I best be headin' out then," he started to walk backwards, "I hope to see you boys soon and Harry," he looked at Harry, "I hope you get back home soon, lad."

"Thank you, again," he laughed shortly, waving at Gilly as he walked away.

Louis, as always, gave him a two-fingered salute then pulled the fish up the counter with the knife to slice them opened.

Harry resumed his seat on the chair, "he seems nice."

"He is," Louis affirmed, glancing at Harry to give him a short smile only to see his eyes stuck on the fish Louis was working on, a grimace on his face. "There's no blood," Louis frowned.

"I know," Harry said quickly, "just weird, is all."

Louis huffed out a laugh and went back to work, then picking out the bones carefully.

"Can I, um, can I help?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Um, all right," Louis nodded towards the bag of potatoes at the corner of the truck, "You can peel and cut those, if you don't mind."

Louis was worried momentarily, afraid he had asked too much of Harry but Harry smiled widely at him, thanked him, and got up to fetch the potatoes. Louis was left pleasantly surprised and even more endeared.

Harry stood on the other end of the small truck, peeling the potatoes off with a blunt knife while Louis tried to concentrate on the fish.

"Does the smell not bother you?" He asked.

"Kind of immune to it by now, if I'm being honest," he chuckled.

Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste, looking at the fish again.

"Do you not like fish then?"

"Not a fan," Harry shook his head, then looked down to start cutting up the potatoes into long strips, "is this okay?" He held up one to show Louis.

"Perfect,"

Harry grinned proudly at himself before resuming his cutting, "I don't really eat much meat to be honest--- don't eat beef at all."

Louis eyebrows shot up to his hairline he was sure, "we fed you chicken soup, chicken and mash--- a lot of chicken!"

Harry giggled, "I said _much_ meat, I didn't say all."

Louis' tongue poked the inside of his cheek, seeing Harry's satisfied grin, hardly keeping his own smile off his face.

"Still shocked by my cheekiness are you?" He smirked at Louis.

"Boldness, more like," Louis smirked back for good measure, "So tell me why chickens get away with your eating habits then?" He went back to cutting up the fish into the pieces he would fry.

"They used to peck me when I was little," he frowned, disgruntled.

Louis bit his lip, refraining from smiling too widely, "So you eat them now?"

"That sounds so horrible," Harry's frown deepened, "But yes, basically."

Louis barked out a laugh, watching Harry's frown turn into a smile. "And beef then? Cows get a save?"

Harry's smile faltered, eyes reverting to the potatoes on the counter, "she was my first real friend," he grinned but it was sorrowful, "her name is--- or was, I'm not sure now--- Dandelion and she--- well, she was wonderful."

Louis paused, placing his knife down and looking at the boy intently, "I'm really sorry, Harry but hey, don't give up hope, yeah, she could be all fine and waiting for you to come home."

A smile gradually appeared on his face, eyes glossy, "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do," he said truthfully, just from a feeling in his gut.

"Thank you, Louis,"

The way he said Louis' name was something he could not get used go, that was for sure. It sounded so sweet and syrupy--- just overall lovely.

"Hey, tell me more about her, about the farm," Louis nudged him with his elbow, hoping he didn't cross a line on the whole physical aspect.

Thankfully, Harry just smiled even more, "what do you want to know?"

"Describe her to me, Dandelion, was it?"

Harry nodded, placing a batch of potatoes to the side, "a soft brown in colour, big beautiful brown eyes, as friendly as ever and she loved cuddles."

Sweet, sweet boy, Harry was.

Louis grinned fondly, "she sounds lovely, Harry."

"Yeah," he gazed up Louis, "the chickens were nasty though."

"As you've already mentioned," Louis chuckled.

"You don't understand the extent of it," he whined, grunting afterwards, "I'd developed a bit of a fear for them for a while."

Louis snorted, "right of course."

"'S not funny, I couldn't eat eggs for years either, afraid that they'd come after me."

Louis couldn't hold back a laugh then, shaking his head, "So I suppose you got over the fear by eating them?"

"Yes," he laughed.

Louis shook his head again, still seeing that smile on his face. It seemed so private and special to Louis, knowing he could make Harry smile. It was wonderful knowing he could make anyone smile, really. But with Harry, something felt... different. It felt warmer, more of a flutter in his belly and his breath in his throat.

It was a new feeling but not unwelcome. He was afraid of what it might mean so he ignored it for the time being, convincing himself it was because of how well they got along. It was a friendship blooming and Louis was welcoming that with opened arms.

***

The next day, Harry asked to join Louis again and Louis was more than happy to agree.

He taught Harry how to prepare the fish, coating in flour and deep frying it in the oil. He was, however, not too chuffed about the fact that a regular customer at the chippy, Frank, preferred Harry's more than Louis'.

Harry, of course, was delighted at Frank's comment and thanked him humbly, then Louis was not so upset anymore about it. It was just... good to see Harry smiling.

Keeping him happy and distracted, out of the house in general was a great thing because who knew what would happen when that letter came back. Louis wasn't sure how long that smile would stay on his face.

Deep down, he didn't feel like the letter would hold any good news, neither did he feel like posting it in the first place for that very reason. But, he would be gladly proven wrong anyhow.

"I'm giving you a run for your money, Louis," he smiled, the sun shining directly onto Harry's eyes. He shut one eye, squinting the other, still grinning up at Louis from his seat on the chair.

Louis felt his heart stutter, "may have been a bad idea asking you to come here, I think."

Harry chuckled, turning his face so it was out of the sun, eyes looking forward at the family approaching them, "it's too late now," he muttered with a smirk.

Louis bit back a smile, greeting the new customers instead. He recognised the family from the florist near their home. Fiona and her two daughters, May and Becky.

"Hello, there," Louis smile brightened once seeing the two girls, "How are you guys doing?"

Fiona smiled, showing off her pearly white teeth, one hand on each of her daughter's shoulders, "the usual, Louis, please."

"Comin' right up," He nodded.

"Oh," she said right as Louis was about to turn around, "you're new."

Louis looked at Harry to see him standing again, extending his hand out, charming as ever that one.

"I'm Harry," she shook his hand, a slight flush to her cheeks.

"Handsome one, you are, Harry," she let out a small laugh.

Louis frowned. She was flirting? Is that what she was trying to do?

"Hello," Harry seemed to pay no attention to Fiona, instead looking at the girls.

"Hello, Mr," the older of the two--- Becky--- said, standing on her tip-toes, "you have nice hair," she pointed up.

Harry laughed breathily, "Thank you, you too. What are your names?"

"This is Becky," Fiona spoke before she could and then tapped May's shoulder, "this is May."

Louis' frown deepened once he noticed the way she fluttered her eyelashes. He pursed his lips and went about making their usual; extra chips and slightly less batter on the fish. Harry made friendly conversation with them, mostly to the kids, going from what he heard. Fiona's attempts to flirt with him were seemingly falling short.

Louis grimaced. She was married and had two kids. Why she felt the need to flirt with someone else (trying too hard at that), Louis wasn't sure.

He passed the three paper dishes with their food towards where Harry stood, "ready," Louis said, a touch too loudly.

She stopped looking at Harry to look at Louis instead, smiling too sweetly, "Thank you, Louis," she took the food handing one to each girl.

"Thank you," the girls said simultaneously, May having lost her front tooth, making it extra adorable.

"You're welcome," he smiled back.

"See you soon, Louis," Fiona said then looked at Harry, "You too, Harry," she wiggled her fingers at him, giving him a lingering stare before walking away.

Louis finally got to roll his eyes then, turning to Harry, "I'm sorry about Fiona, dunno what that was all about."

"It's fine," Harry shrugged, looking unbothered, "She was just being friendly, wasn't she?"

And Louis--- Well, he wasn't sure then if Harry actually enjoyed her flirting or not. Maybe he had just played coy and that was why he hadn't flirted back.

Although, looking at him, he seemed genuinely okay with it, maybe he was a bit... naive?

"She... was flirting with you, you know that right?" Louis said carefully, studying him carefully.

"Well," Harry frowned, "I... I don't know."

Louis cocked his head to the side, "Well, she was and she's married," Louis wrinkled his nose in distaste, "with kids."

"That's why I wouldn't assume that she was... flirting with me, she's married with children, why would she flirt with someone else?"

Bless him, really.

Louis huffed out a laugh, "You're too kind, Harry. I don't think she cares really."

"Well, that's not very nice. Loyalty is important,"

Louis looked up at him, "that it is," he pulled out the cloth, "now come on, we should probably get this place cleaned and locked up."

Harry nodded, he stayed leaning against the opened top of the truck, looking sheepish and bashful.

"What?" Louis asked.

"Um," Harry started, eyes on the ground, "I was wondering if--- if it's okay with you, of course, if not it's fine, I just thought I'd ask because I, well, I've seen it now the few times we've walked past it and---"

"Harry, you're rambling," Louis chuckled softly, "what is it?"

"I was wondering if we could stop by the ice cream place on our way back," Harry squeezed his eyes shut, as if bracing himself for the worst.

Louis frowned again, touching the top of Harry's arm, looking at him intently, "hey, it's just ice cream, Harry, you don't have to be so scared to ask," he chuckled, though he was worried that he'd been so hesitant to ask Louis.

"I know," Harry sighed, "I just--- I know how hard you work and that you get tired so I didn't want to--- I don't know, make it worse, I suppose?"

Louis swore he never wanted to hug someone more than he did in that moment. He didn't though. Instead, he moved his hand up to Harry's shoulder to give it a quick reassuring squeeze.

"You can tell me anything, yeah?" He smiled. Harry smiled back. "Lets lock up and we can go to Dairyworks."

Harry's smiled grew wider, "Thank you," before helping Louis wipe the counters.

***

"Honestly, who likes pistachio as a flavour? It's too..."

"Too what?" Harry had an amused grin on his face, scooping some into a spoon and to his mouth.

"Disgusting to be honest," Louis shook his head, a grimace on his face. Seemed like the reaction had become common today.

"As if rocky road is any better," he scoffed, gorging down the dairy treat effortlessly.

"It's a classic, changed the way I live," Louis said, watching Harry giggle around his spoon.

Louis watched in a weird state of awe, maybe fascination too. He had been seeing a whole different side of Harry--- maybe the side that was closed off at first. He didn't think his guard was down completely--- just at certain moments together where maybe he would let it slip, something he hadn't done in the first few weeks.

It brought a sense of pride to Louis, knowing he had made Harry comfortable enough to let down his guard even if it was for just a few minutes or so. After everything Harry had been through, all unloaded in such a short amount of time, he deserved some happiness, even if it was just from a bowl of ice cream.

He made a mental note to bring Harry here again for sundaes the next time.

"Wha'?" Harry asked, eyebrows pinched together, taking a serviette and wiping his mouth.

"No, just," he lifted one shoulder up in a half-shrug sort of manner, "it's nice to see you, you know, happy--- as you can be, I mean... you know, given the circumstances," he let out a breath and looked down, feeling a tropical burn creep up to his cheeks, "I'm going to shut up now."

"No, no--- it's fine, Louis," he placed his soon down into the bowl with a small clink, "it's been... It's been weird, I think. Every time I feel slightly happy... I feel a little bit guilty too because I'm supposed to grieving, aren't I? And then I feel sad because I can't remember my own father's death. Did he die because of his illness? Was it something else?" Harry exhaled heavily, looking down at the white table, shaking his head.

He looked so crestfallen and unsure, Louis couldn't let him feel like that. Louis reached over, in a brave moment, grabbed Harry's hand from over the table. Harry glanced at their hands then at Louis, eyes wider.

"Grieve is different for everyone, Harry. There's no right or wrong way to feel--- especially about something so close to you so don't feel guilty for feeling happy and with your memory," Louis let out a breath again, "there's... I don't think there's anything we can do about it, can we? All you can do now is be who you are in this moment in time and make the most of it."

Harry let out a shaky breath but didn't say anything, only giving Louis a barely-there smile then looking at their hands again, Harry's hand still warm and slightly clammy in his.

Louis removed it, as if burned from the touch and looked down, feeling embrassed, "s-sorry, I... I should have asked before I---"

"It's fine," Harry shook his head, "I... I think I needed that."

"Oh," Louis gazed at him, searching for any signs of discomfort or dishonesty, seeing none.

"Thanks, um, for the ice cream, I mean," Harry said, chuckling nervously, "I hope I didn't ask much of you--- to come here, I mean."

"It's ice cream, Harry," he said flatly, an amused lilt to his lips, "You asked as much as my sisters would, less than, really. They would probably be asking to go to the arcade by now."

Harry's eyes brightened mirthfully, "there's an arcade?"

Louis groaned, rolling his eyes, "not today, Harry," he warned, "we should head home before ma has a fit."

Realization dawned upon him, "Oh my--- I hadn't thought about your mum--- I'm so sorry, Louis."

"It's fine, Harry," Louis sighed, "come on," he fished out the cash for the ice cream and shifted himself out the booth.

Harry followed him wordlessly out the parlour, bidding the few patrons goodbye with a kind smile and small wave. Louis grinned, almost to himself at Harry's mannerisms.

"Some people keep staring at me," Harry muttered next to him, keeping his head hung low.

Louis looked around them quickly, seeing that there were in fact a few people who were staring. Now, Louis had been used to the staring from a couple of years ago when he had a boyfriend but it soon died down; no one really cared anymore.

But with Harry, well, he could take a good guess as to why they were staring at him. Small town, full of gossipers, close-minded people, he could put two and two together.

"Word spreads fast around here," Louis said in an exasperated sigh, "they've probably heard about what had happened--- who you are."

"Oh," Harry said, "So would that be beneficial in a way, knowing who I am, I mean--- maybe helpful to get me home--- wherever that is now," he mumbled.

"Maybe," Louis murmured, frowning, "it's just---- I mean, from Edendale in general, we don't hear much from them--- we're..."

Louis paused choosing his words carefully, "our town, it's not on the same level as Edendale, you know? They hardly had contact with us in the first place, aside from the produce from, well, your farm and even then it was barely anything--- too costly for us to keep buying from them and selling it here--- they took most of the income and commission from us anyways."

Harry inhaled sharply, steps coming to an abrupt stop. Louis turned, staring at him in question.

"Harry?"

"My father--- he was horrible, wasn't he? I--- I mean I knew he wasn't the kindest and he was a bit greedy when it came to money--- spending it all on alcohol and gambling-- but--- but---"

"Hey, hey," Louis approached him, hands resting over his shoulders, Harry looking at him, eyes glazed over, "I didn't tell you all of that to make you feel bad or anything-- you have nothing to apologise for--- I just, I didn't want you to get your hopes up that someone from our little town would contact anyone from your side, given their history with this town and it's not _your_ fault."

"I just--- I could have done something," Harry shook his head, avoiding his eyes, "when I get back," he now looked at him, eyes determined, voice earnest, "when I get back I promise I'll make it right."

Louis smiled, small but genuine, "I believe you will," he removed his hands from Harry's shoulders, "now come on, let's get home."

He waited for Harry to start walking again before he did too, both heading back home. Harry was quiet on their stroll back, his mood dull and Louis couldn't help but feel responsible for that.

When they had gotten home, Harry excused himself politely to get to the room, claiming he wasn't very hungry and that the ice cream made him a bit nauseated.

His mother asked what was wrong, Louis explaining what happened and what he said. She simply said that all of this wasn't easy for him to adapt to so he was bound to have days where he felt a bit down but that him going out with Louis had made a significant change in him, saying that he looked happier, less doubtful and scared.

***

The day after they had gone to ice cream parlour, Harry was still fast asleep when it was time for them to go to the chippy--- well, Louis to go to the chippy. He reminded himself then that Harry had no obligation whatsoever to go with him to his job everyday.

Frowning at the threshold of the room door, Louis slowly retreated, Harry's peaceful face still lingering in his vision as he closed the door. His cheeks looked a bit shiny, a bit sticky--- he was probably crying and the realisation made Louis feel even worse about himself than he already did.

Even if he did look tranquil while he slept, it didn't erase the fact that beforehand he most probably cried. And... and what if he cried himself to sleep? That had happened to Louis before, many times, in fact.

The cold winter nights after his father had left, sobbing into his pillow whilst hearing his mother wail, the warmer summer nights when he mourned the loss of his love, the eerie spring days when the sound of blue jays reminded him of his mother while she was at war---- maybe he had become a little too familiar with that.

Still, he didn't want to be the reason why Harry had cried. He shouldn't have told Harry all of that---- he should have known better. And Harry was doing so well before that, he was finally letting his guard slip slowly but surely and now... now Louis wasn't sure what would happen.

He didn't want to lose the budding friendship he had with Harry. Getting to know little things about Harry here and there was so interesting because he was so intriguing and different and quirky--- just all around a lovely person, really.

Point being is that he hoped he didn't fuck it up.

Of course then two days after their ice cream parlour incident, as Louis now called it, Harry was awake but he declined Louis' invitation to go to work with him.

Louis tried to shrug the hurt off as if it hadn't meant anything but it truly did and it was then that he knew he definitely did fuck it all up.

Telling Harry about how horrible his father--- who isn't even alive anymore--- was quite insensitive, as it may seem now.

He took whatever was left of his dignity and left the house, eyes on the ground the whole walk to the chippy. Once there and faced with any customers, he had to paste one on, knowing that customer service was everything and he didn't want to lose his job just because he wasn't being friendly enough to someone else.

People that don't smile aren't approachable. Who would want to walk up to a frowning salesman?

Louis hadn't even seen Harry on his usual spot on the armchair when he came home. Granted, it was a bit late, 'cause he had gone straight from the chippy to the theatre, wanting to avoid coming to his home in the first place.

So he ate a poorly made sandwich in solitude, watching the clock tick as time went by before heading to his room.

When Saturday had finally come, Louis couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to speak to Harry more than anything and apologise profusely about what he said--- he had crossed a line and he knew that now.

Right before they all sat at the table for breakfast, Louis made it his duty to fetch Harry from his room. His mother had informed him that Harry was asleep when she had gone in earlier.

He knocked tentatively on the wood, seeing the door only a quarter way opened. He tried to keep his eyes away from peeping in, not exactly understanding why it was just instinctive for so many people to do that in the first place.

Only a few seconds later, Harry opened the door, a small smile on his face, "morning," he greeted Louis.

"Morning," Louis said back, "um, ma said to tell you that breakfast is ready," he stuffed his hands into his trousers back pocket, leg bouncing nervously.

"Oh, thank you," Harry nodded, then looked down again.

"Sorry," they said simultaneously then let out soft chuckles afterwards.

"You first," Louis promoted.

Harry bit his lip then opened the door wider, "okay, get in first then."

Louis obliged, taking a seat on the neatly made bed while Harry stood awkwardly at the shut door.

"Um, I wanted to start by apologising for avoiding you the past few days. I just want you to know that... it's not--- I don't blame you for anything, Louis. I appreciate your honesty so much, it's one of the things I've come to admire about you, in fact; honesty to me is very noble."

Louis just stared, feeling his cheeks flush.

"So that's, uh, that's why I apologised," he continued, proceeding to look down at the floor again, seeming just as anxious as Louis, "So sorry again."

Louis smiled wryly at him, "I came to say sorry for overstepping the other day... I shouldn't have said that about your father--- I should have known better."

"You were just telling the truth," Harry's forehead wrinkled, "nothing wrong with that."

"Still, it was insensitive of me," he argued indignantly, "So for that I'm sorry."

There was silence.

"It's fine, Louis," he finally said quietly, "do you forgive me?"

Eyes wide and glossy, Louis said yes immediately, watching then as a smile grew on Harry's face.

"So, can I go with you to the chippy on Monday then?" He asked, showing a glimpse of that cheeky dimple to Louis.

"Of course," Louis said quickly, "yes, you can."

Then, before they could go out and enjoy their breakfast, Louis stopped him.

"Would you like to go to the bookstore with me later today?"

"Bookstore?" His eyes brightened.

"Yeah," Louis shrugged, "thought it might cheer you up a bit."

"Yes, okay," he agreed easily, "Thank you."

Louis grinned, opening the door, "breakfast then?"

"I wish your mum would have told me, I could have helped her make something," Harry frowned as they walked to the kitchen.

"She said you were sleeping when she came in earlier and didn't want to wake you," Louis explained.

"She should have," Harry groaned, "I like helping her, you too--- makes me feel... useful, I suppose."

"Harry," Louis rolled his eyes, fondly more than anything, "it's only one day, it's fine."

"Still," Harry pouted stubbornly.

They stepped into the kitchen then, seeing the girls grabbing pieces of toast and eggs onto their plates.

"Good morning, Harry. How are you feeling?" Jay asked, only just tucking her chair into the table.

"I'm well and you all?" Harry sat at his usual seat at the table, the spare one, actually. After that first day, Harry took the chair Louis sat on, insisting that he get the spare since he was the guest. Louis couldn't argue with Harry once he made up his mind on something, he was beginning to realise that. Almost as stubborn as Louis, he was.

They all made small talk as they ate. It had been a while since they had breakfast together where they didn't have to rush to go anywhere afterwards. Well, except for the twins, but their times at the store were fairly flexible.

He seemed better today than he had for the past three or so days. He was smiling a bit more; laughed at Louis' sarcastic comments and lame jokes.

On the walk there, his conversations were stolen mostly by the twins, keeping Harry occupied by their questions and stories, thankfully keeping the topics light-hearted.

Lottie stayed at home with his mother, claiming that she was getting too sick to go out.

"You hear that, Louis?" Daisy said, looking at him in question.

"What?" He blinked.

"Phoebe said Mrs. Allen is going to scold you for not coming to see her for so long,"

"Oh," Louis felt his cheeks burn up. He hadn't seen in a few weeks--- over a month, perhaps. But, can you blame him? The past month of his life had been a rollercoaster, hell, it still was.

"I bet you a quid that'll be the first thing she'll say when she sees him," Daisy snickered to her sister.

Louis rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore them, glancing at Harry. He had a small smile on his face, no doubt hearing their conversation.

Louis smiled too, happy Harry wasn't avoiding him anymore. The poor boy was probably a mess of emotions, given how much his whole world had basically just changed in under a day.

He woke up in a strange town, in a stranger's house, unable to recall anything other than a year ago, that too he hadn't realised until they told him, then having to hear that the only family he had left had passed away and he couldn't even remember how they passed either; it was a mess.

Louis couldn't even begin to imagine what was going on in his mind.

So, maybe it was normal that his mood would fluctuate, given how messy his situation was.

The rest of their walk was relatively silent and true to what the twins predicted, as soon as Louis had walked into the bookstore, Mrs. Allen hugged him, sure, but that was followed by a thump on his head with her ring-clad fingers.

"You've forgotten about me already, have ya?" She scolded him, hands on her hips and eyebrows raised.

"Just been busy," Louis mumbled, pouting as he rubbed the back of his head, listening to his sisters' giggling.

"Too busy to come and see me," she shook her head then peered over his shoulder, "and this must be Harry."

She trudged up to him, engulfing him into a hug, clearly taking him by surprise but he hugged back anyways, letting out a surprised chuckle.

Mrs. Allen wasn't the tallest person ever so she had to actually look up at Harry when she smiled sweetly at him.

"So handsome, just like Daisy said," she cooed.

Louis widened his eyes, "she said what?"

Harry's cheek turned crimson, his eyes diverting to the floor.

"Well, come on in then, love," she said, her voice joyful and welcoming, patting Harry's shoulder then guiding him in the store properly.

Louis watched his face light up the further he stepped into the store, eyes searching the tiny shop in awe, eyes twinkling, mouth parted; it was lovely.

Louis found himself smiling at the sight, something that did not go unnoticed by Mrs. Allen, it seemed, watching her knowing smirk and raised eyebrow in his direction.

Louis cleared his throat softly and looked away, looking around the store himself too. It smelt the same, sandalwood and dusty books mixed with a hint of Mrs. Allen's flowery perfume. It felt like home to Louis, his second home, of course.

He kicked himself for staying away from the store for so long. In hindsight, he probably deserved that thump over his head from her.

There were still boxes(as they always were in Mrs. Allen's bookshop) scattered near certain shelves along with a shaky ladder that Louis remembered having more than just one accident on.

The shelves themselves were fairly old too, as far Louis remembered, she hadnt changed them at all, saying that her husband had built them back when they had opened the store while he was still alive.

It was unfortunate that Louis didn't remember Edgar Allen even though Louis was around and supposedly in and out of the store a lot around the time he had passed, he was only four.

"It's not much but," Mrs. Allen spoke up, shrugging modestly, "it's part of my home, I suppose."

"It's wonderful," Harry said, almost breathlessly, eyes still wandering around the store.

Daisy and Phoebe were set in the far left corner or the shop, sorting out some books; Phoebe placing them on the shelves while Daisy sorted through them. They were already uninterested in what was happening with Harry and Mrs. Allen.

"Well, I suppose Louis would like to show you around and give you the ins and outs but I'm right at the front if you need anythin'. Would love to speak to you for a bit when you're done though, if that's okay with you, of course."

"Yes, of course," Harry agreed happily.

She gave him a friendly smile, her eyes crinkling before tucking a loose strand of grey hair behind her ears. "Well, I'll check on these two then, while you show him around, yes?"

Louis nodded. She pinched his cheek, patting the sore spot twice, then sauntered over to the twins, a slight limp in her walk as she did so.

"She's lovely," Harry said suddenly.

Louis looked at him then grinned, "she is," he agreed easily, "want me to show you around then?"

"Absolutely,"

He felt Harry's presence behind him as he led the way right to back of the store near the cramped spiral staircase. He smiled to himself, knowing that he'd save the best part for last.

Louis steps came to an abrupt stop, causing Harry to bump right into his back.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, stepping backwards as Louis turned around.

He winced, "no, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yes, just bumped my nose," he rubbed his nose with his middle and index finger, his nose scrunched up.

"Not too badly, I hope," he stared at him worriedly.

Harry shook his head, pulling his hand away, "it's fine."

"Okay," Louis gave his nose a thorough gaze then looked off to the side where a huge window was mounted, the size of the expanse of the wall and next to it, on the adjacent wall was a book shelf standing tall, books placed haphazardly on them, ranging from big to small, old and new and thick and thin.

"This is normally where I find all the good stuff," Louis stepped closer to the shelf, running the pads of his fingertips over the spines of the books, feeling the rough leather kiss his skin.

"And what's up there?" Harry asked, eyes on the spiral staircase.

Louis' lips twitched, "that I'll show you last--- it's my favourite part of the whole store."

Harry beamed at him, "okay," he agreed. His eyes moved to the two old armchairs at the corner near the window, "do you mind if I sit down?"

"Of course not,"

Harry took a seat to the one closest to shelf, already scanning the books. He reached forward and pulled out a brown covered book carefully.

"Othello," Louis blinked, "You like it?"

Many people didn't really like Othello but Louis found it enjoyable, especially compared to Shakespeare's other plays.

"One of my favourites from Shakespeare, yes," he smiled, "do you?"

"I like it," Louis admitted, grinning at him. He moved to the other chair and sat himself down, "not a lot of people do though."

Harry shrugged, "there's something about it," he murmured, "I can't exactly explain it but it's just... something."

"You'd make a great teacher," Louis quipped.

Harry huffed out a laugh, his dimples popping, "I'm sorry, I've never really discussed any of the books I read with anyone else."

"Well, now you have me," Louis shifted on the seat, perking up, "go ahead and discuss it with me then."

"Uh," Harry pinched his brows together, "What, um, what do you want to discuss then?"

Louis gave him a half-hearted eye roll, "anything you want to, Harry--- the plot, the characters---- anything."

"Okay," Harry then looked down, humming thoughtfully as he ran his thumb over the front cover, "the lullaby," he said, eyes now on Louis.

"The one Barbary sang to Desdemona?"

"That one," he nodded.

"What about it?" Louis asked, intrigued. His mind seemed so unique. Louis could see that about Harry already--- just something about the way he spoke, what he said, how he acted, how he reacted--- it was just... something.

"There's symbolism there," he started, biting his lip as if unsure if he should continue. After a short moment, he carried on, "She suffered misfortune similar to the woman she sang of in the song and she died while singing the song. The song also suggests that both men and women are unfaithful; to Desdemona, the song seems to represent a melancholy and resigned acceptance of her alienation from Othello’s affections, and singing it leads her to question Emilia about the nature and practice of infidelity."

Louis blanched for a second, blinking once then twice. Goosebumps erupted over his skin while his heart rate increased rapidly.

"You, um," he swallowed dryly, "How--- how did you come up with observation? I mean sure, the general idea was there but that--- that was..."

"A bit much?" Harry asked, wrinkling his nose, still seeming unsure, "maybe I've overanalyzed it then."

"No, no," Louis said quickly, "You didn't at all--- it's quite the opposite really--- maybe you should be a teacher after all."

He watched the dull bit of sun peeking through the window caught on the light pink of his cheeks, breath stuttering before he looked away.

"Thanks," he said softly, "um, what did you like then--- about the book, I mean."

"I don't think I can give quite an... elaborate answer as yours but," he thought for a moment, "I think what drew me in was the jealousy."

"Jealousy?"

"It's a bit cliché, blindly jealous--- but I think that it's... different in that it's a common theme, sure, but portrayed in so many different ways; Iago jealous of Othello, Rodriguez jealous of Othello, Othello then jealous of Cassio--- it's all different for each of them. One was blinded by power and vengeance, the other by lust, the other by love itself. I liked that it wasn't simply one dimensional but rather cleverly written in its characterization."

Harry stared at him before nodding slowly, "I understand that," he said, "though I'm not particularly a fan of Shakespeare because of his morbid works."

"They're all the same, aren't they?" Louis added on, happy to see someone agreeing with his thoughts, "tragic love story with betrayal and a horrible ending--- not everything has to have such a tragic ending."

Harry nodded again, eyes bright, "yes, I mean I suppose you could say it the other way around as well, in that not everything can have a happy ending either it's just... I'd like to believe that it can, in one way or another."

"I've just realised that all of my favourite literature don't have a happy ending," Louis frowned, a realization suddenly washing over him, his excitement fading as his mind paged through every one of his favourite books.

Harry seemed to be taken aback by the comment too, frowning himself, "oh," he said, "you're right."

"Are we led to believe that our lives can't end well then?" Louis mumbled, quite morbidly at that--- he blamed Shakespeare.

"Maybe," Harry's eyes shone as they looked at Louis, "I--- I still believe they can though," he cleared his throat, "they can if we make the effort to."

Louis looked at him curiously, "make the effort to be happy?"

"To keep ourselves happy," he nodded, "surround yourself by love and I think that's the key to happiness."

Louis sucked in a breath, the words playing over in his mind like a broken record.

Surround yourself by love.

"So are you happy then?" Louis blurted out before he could help himself.

Harry's eyes widened marginally, swallowing nervously, "I--- I'm not sure," he finally muttered, "I've been thrown into this... into this abyss and I'm not sure how to feel."

Louis waited for him to continue, sensing that he wasn't finished.

"I... there are moments--- moments when I forget what's really happening--- what my life has become because, well, I smile and I laugh but... I--- I dont know---" he cut himself off, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I think," Louis spoke up, voice raw, "I think that being happy is what most people pretend to be and that's why so many of these authors," he glanced at the book still on Harry's lap momentarily, "feel the need to remind people that not everything leads to a happy ending but that also doesn't mean it's sad, necessarily. I mean, think about how you felt after reading those books," he paused for a moment.

"Yes, some may have hurt but they were so well written, well thought out--- it made you happy to read them, yes? Somehow, I find that maybe it says something to us as readers--- we're meant to be sad or angry or upset before we find happiness--- perhaps us feeling those things makes us appreciate the happiness even more--- smiling, laughing--- those are all moments of happiness, even if it isnt a lot and Harry---" he looked at him fiercely.

"Happiness shouldn't make you feel guilty for feeling it; everyone deserves it--- you deserve it."

Harry's eyes seemed more glossy, teeth gnawing so hard on his bottom lip that Louis was frightened he would bite the skin off.

"I know it may be a bit difficult right now but allow yourself to feel, Harry--- whether it's joy or sadness--- it's all right, just feel," Louis added, "you're not alone."

"Thank you," Harry let out a shaky breath before inhaling, "you're right-- the past few days I had spent with you and your family... it made me feel happy and I think--- I think I've been scared to admit it because--- because I hadn't felt it before--- at least not like this."

"You haven't?" He asked gently, not want to pry too much.

"Maybe as a child," he shrugged in an unenthisatic manner, "but nothing that I've remembered feeling over the recent years of my life--- maybe the year I've forgotten I may have found it but, I'm not going to remember that, am I?"

Louis gazed at him sympathetically.

"I still do believe the key to happiness is surrounding yourself by love," Harry said, "but I agree that there's little moments here and there--- maybe the love part just helps you keep it."

Louis stared, seeming that it was all he could do so far with Harry. "Maybe," he said quietly, "this turned around right under our noses, didn't it?" He chuckled light-heartedly in an attempt to lift the mood.

Thankfully, Harry gave him a small smile, "we were discussing Shakespeare, what did you expect?"

Louis chuckled again, "fair point."

"I think I'm going to pick another one to read through, if you don't mind," Harry exhaled loudly, looking at Louis as if asking for permission.

"You don't need to ask, Harry," Louis said, amused, "help yourself to any."

Harry gave him a shy nod and pushed the book back in its place, still seated. He pulled out another; one Louis recognised to be _Animal Farm._

Louis frowned distastefully, "you're not a fan of that one, are you?"

"Somewhat fond of it, why, do you not like it?"

"It's horrid and terribly boring," Louis grimaced, "here I thought I'd met someone with excellent taste."

Harry gaped at him, "it's wonderful and you're wrong," he raised his nose up in the air, prestigious and stubborn, "I've now officially lost faith that I'd finally met someone to discuss literature with."

Louis couldn't help but smile, "talk to yourself about that one then."

"I will," Harry opened the book, emphasising the manner in which he did so, eyes fixed on the pages.

"You're truly fond of the book then?" Louis asked, watching his furrowed eyebrows remain pinched when he looked at Louis again.

"I suppose this is where you end our blooming friendship then?" He asked, dramatically sighing.

Louis snorted, "if you were to be any other person, I probably would have."

"What makes me so special then?" Harry asked, a grin spreading across his face.

Louis swallowed, feeling the tickle of amusement suddenly leave his body, in place of that was anxiousness now.

What did make him so special then?

Louis couldn't answer that. It was something that was simply guttural. A strange feeling that was beginning to brew in his stomach every time they spoke. He was scared; of what it may be and how dangerously close it had felt to a fluttering type of joy. Indescribable is what it was.

Louis shrugged noncommitedly, "probably that cheek of yours, I think."

"You act like you haven't met someone with snark or cheekiness before," he scoffed softly, still smiling.

"Not quite like you, no," Louis smirked, "anyways, you continue reading your abomination while I go and check on my sisters then."

Louis ignored his affronted look and walked away, passing him one last playful smile for good measure as he did so. He caught Harry's small smile before he turned around again and found himself smiling too.

"So he's special, is he?" Was the first thing Mrs. Allen said, leaning over the front desk, a smug grin on her face.

"Well, I'm doing fine thanks for asking," Louis grumbled, standing at the opposite side of the table.

"Oh you're one to talk; haven't seen little old me in weeks now, have ya?" She rested a hand on her hip and raised an challenging eyebrow at him.

"I know, I'm sorry," Louis huffed, "I've honestly just been really busy then I'm too tired to do much after work or home or---"

"Harry?" She cut him off.

"Mrs. A," he chastised, feeling a rush of heat to his cheeks, "it's not like that."

"You called him special," she shrugged nonchalantly, "you've never called me special."

"Really, now?" He deadpanned, "he's just... he's a friend."

"Well, I wish all of my friends looked at me like that," she quipped.

Louis huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "he's nothing more than a friend, all right? He needs one, especially now."

"Sure," she hummed, "now why've you left him all by himself?"

"Why were you eavesdropping?" He countered, narrowing his eyes.

"I was not eavesdropping, I just happened to hear some of your conversation," she played coy, avoiding his eyes.

"Sure," he repeated in the same tone as her, "and he's reading Animal Farm," louis grimaced again.

"Oh dear," she hissed, "friendship over then?"

"That's a bit dramatic don't you think?"

"It's you we're speaking of, dear," she sniffed, "now be a sport and take these to the shelf you two were at, maybe ask Harry to help you, while I get some sandwiches for you all."

She sauntered away before Louis could say anything else. He grabbed the box of books with a sigh, adjusting it in his arms before heading back.

He was met with the sight of Harry leaning against the side of the armchair so that his face was bathed in the minimum amount of sunlight, the whispers of curls that lay across his face were golden, his face scrunched up in concentration while his legs were tucked under his thighs.

Louis took notice of how he sat in that position almost every time he read.

Smiling softly, Louis greeted him again with a soft "Hi,"

"Hi," Harry said back. His gaze shifted down to the box in Louis' hands, "what's that?"

"Some books to put away," Louis muttered, placing the box down with a soft thud over the Persian rug. He squated near the box and pulled out a few of them.

"Can I help then?" Harry sat up straighter, closing the book over where his thumb was on the page he read.

"No, it's all right," Louis held out a hand to stop him, "I'm a bit pedantic about how I do this anyway so leave me be."

Harry grinned, "So is this your organisational skills on display then?" He glanced at the shelves next to him.

"Not all," Louis grumbled under his breath, "I have a system, all right?"

"All right," Harry said, sounding unconvinced, "You realise you've put _Othello_ near _Animal Farm_ , right?"

Louis groaned, "look, it's a system that works for me, okay?"

"Are you the only one that comes to the store then?" Harry bit his lip, grinning at Louis.

"Oh hush," Louis waved him off, "You found what you were looking for, didn't you?"

"I wasn't really looking for anything," he shrugged, eyes landing on the books again, "I just like reading."

"Fair enough,"

Louis sorted out the books on the shelves afterwards, their conversation coming to an end as they went about their tasks in silence. He could feel a pair of eyes on him every now and then as he worked but did well to ignore the wild beating of his heart, carrying on with his work.

Mrs. Allen brought in a few simple cheese sandwiches for them to munch one with a glass of water for each of them. The twins came about shortly after to inform Louis that they would be going home and bid their goodbyes to all of them.

"Are we not going yet?" Harry questioned as they left the store.

Louis got up from his cross-legged position on the rug and dusted off his trousers, "actually, I wanted to show you something."

"Oh," Harry closed the book and pushed it back into its place on the shelf before standing up too.

"Follow me," Louis beckoned Harry to the staircase, Louis leading the way up, one hand holding the sleek metal railing as he walked.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, Louis sighed happily, looking at the small, almost a deck-type of area; a small secod floor of the store that barely covered the whole area of it, just the part where they sat at underneath. It covered that area, acting as a ceiling, essentially.

The second floor was small, three piece couch set with a large coffee table in the middle and, to match the huge window downstairs, one upstairs, just as big, the sunset colours seeping through the clear glass, soft pastel pinks and orange shone over the whole floor, almost glowing.

"Wow," Harry breathed out next to him, watching the sun set through the window.

"I know," Louis smiled softly, watching Harry stare at the scene in awe, the warm colours illuminating his features.

"This is amazing," Harry said, letting out a small chuckle of disbelief. He walked closer to the window, carefully placing his hand over the glass.

Louis followed a suit, coming to a halt just a few steps behind Harry, still stuck on Harry himself, watching how, as opposed to the golden sun he bathed in before, it was now hotter, darker yet just as bright as earlier.

"Do you read up here?" Harry asked in a breath, his eyes just as bright too.

"All the time," Louis replied, his voice raspy as if he hadn't spoken in a while.

"It's wonderful," Harry grinned, shaking his head, "Thank you so much."

"For what?"

Harry turned to Louis, "letting me come here with you... I needed it."

"You don't have to thank me," Louis said sincerely, "You do that too much," he laughed.

"Louis, you don't understand," he suddenly turned serious, "I--- I would have been dead if it weren't for you, I can't thank you enough for that."

"You have to stop saying that," Louis gulped, though his tone was stern, "you're here now and you're fine, that's all that matters, right?"

Harry nodded, biting on his bottom lip, eyes glued to the flimsy wooden floor.

"We can leave now, if you'd like," Louis offered, sensing that maybe Harry was getting a little overwhelmed.

"No," he said quickly, quietly, eyes reverting back to the sunset, "just a little while longer, if that's okay."

Louis smiled at him. "Yeah, okay," he said, then looked at the sun setting himself, lost in the beauty of it, though, whereas before he was so entranced by the sun setting into the sky, now he kept glancing back and forth from Harry to the sunset and he couldn't decide which one was more captivating.

After a few minutes they decided to leave the store, around the time Mrs. Allen called out for them, asking if they were alive. Harry chuckled, Louis rolled his eyes and said that he was and that they were just heading out.

Mrs. Allen made them both promise that they would be back soon for another visit to which Harry enthusiastically agreed to, telling Louis on their way back about how that sunset was breathtaking and he'll be mad if he didn't go back to see it.

Louis swallowed the bile in his throat when the thought occurred to him that Harry could possibly be gone back to his home by the time they decide to go back to the store.

He smiled though, as Harry spoke about their trip there, thanking Louis once more for taking him there, then arguing about how Animal Farm is actually a good book and Louis should give it another chance.

Louis relented at the end with an annoyed sigh(even if it was half-hearted), though he knew he probably never would give it another go; reading it once was torture enough.

When they stepped back inside the house, Louis shut the door behind them while Harry was still speaking, his hands flailing about and Louis was so enchanted by his movements, he almost didn't notice the girls huddled around his mum at their small kitchen table, looking down at something. It wasn't until he heard Daisy gasp that he saw them, Harry too coming to an abrupt stop in the middle of his sentence.

"Mum?" Louis called out, walking further into the kitchen almost cautiously.

All of them turned their heads to Louis and Harry. The first thing Louis noticed was his mother's sullen expression. Alarm bells rang through his head.

"Mum, is everything okay?" He rushed forward then taking in his sister's expressions. They looked just as crestfallen.

"Oh, Louis," she sighed, a painful look on her face. She then glanced at Harry--- who still stood a little further away, looking unsure--- and gave him another sigh.

Phoebe moved out of the way and that was when Louis finally noticed what they were all looking at.

A letter. Addressed to them. From the address of the farm Harry was from.

Louis' breath caught in his throat, he looked at him mother worriedly.

"Is that...?" Harry moved closer to them, his eyes squinting slightly, focussing on the paper in his mother's hands.

"Here, dear," his mother held it out to him, almost uncertain as she gazed at him, "I have a habit of openin' all of our mail at once, so I apologise for readin' it first, but just know that we're all here for you, all right?"

Harry gave her a short nod before gently taking the paper out of her hand. Louis knew it wasn't anything good; not anything Harry was so optimistic about this whole time and the thought broke his heart.

The whole house seemed to have been blanketed by an uneasy silence; Louis and his mother along with Harry waited in the kitchen while Harry read over his letter and the girls retreated to the lounge to give him some privacy.

Much to Louis' horror, Harry let out a sob, alarming him in the most gut wrenching way possible. His hand covered his mouth, while tears fell over his cheeks. He placed the letter down onto the table and, before Louis could even let a word out, swiftly sauntered out the kitchen.

Small cries could be heard as he went further and further into the house.

Louis gulped, looking at his mother, "ma?" He asked quizzically.

She had tears glistening in her eyes, as she looked down helplessly at the paper that lay over the wooden table.

Louis picked it up, reading over the words--- skimming really.

At the end of the letter, he let out a rueful sigh and placed it back down. With his eyes shut, he pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed under his breath.

His body turned then eyes opened to where the archway of the door was where Harry ran out mere seconds ago.

After they'd had such a good, light-hearted, fun day, this was not how Louis pictured it ending. This was definitely not was Harry deserved.

He bit his lip in contemplation. Before he could make a move to head out the kitchen and follow Harry--- to where he was sure would be the room he was staying in--- his mother placed a gentle hand over his forearm and squeezed it to get his attention.

"Hon, I think he needs to be alone right now," she said, "just give him some time, yes?"

Louis wanted to argue, yet he bit his tongue and nodded instead, staring helplessly at the exit of kitchen, wondering what Harry would be feeling right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Let me know what you guys think so far :) thank you for all the support so far!


	4. IV: Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up; this chapter hasn't been edited yet so I apologise in advance for any mistakes, grammar or otherwise! 
> 
> And please comment you guys! So I know whether everyone is liking it or not :)
> 
> And enjoy!

When Harry woke up the next morning, he didn't have the will to physically get out of bed or even move in general, truthfully.

What was the point, really? What would he do? Where would he go? It wasn't as if he had anywhere to go to now, did he?

He would be making a fruitless attempt at living, essentially. He didn't have anything left to live for; his father---his only family left--- had passed, the farm---his home that he was hoping to be at soon--- was snatched away from him, the animals, god the animals--- Dandelion--- who knew what had happened to them during a year?

Had they passed too? Had someone taken them away?

Harry was unsure and confused. Needless to say, Harry felt lost. He had no purpose anymore. And here he was, living in someone else's home now. What could he do? He couldn't keep living off of these kind people.

He sighed, noticing that the sun hadn't seeped through the window as it normally did in the mornings. Maybe it was a sign.

The papery material of his pillow was wet with tears, his cheeks dry and sticky all at the same time, giving his skin an uncomfortable pull, his eyes burned too, probably dried out by now, not to mention the lack of sleep.

Harry pulled the thick blanket over his shoulders and shut his eyes, taking deep breaths, just like his mother had taught him when he was a child.

He had a tendency to get panic attacks easily when he was younger, that slowly decreased as he grew older. His current situation was proving to be difficult to keep the attacks at bay.

Every time he took a breath, he felt like he was going to have one, his lungs felt like they were constricting, pushing all the air out his body while he ribs pushed against him and throat sealing up. Needless to say, Harry was not feeling good at all.

Rose was not there to calm him down anymore, he couldn't go to visit Dandelion to control his breathing--- he felt helpless and frightened.

Just when a fresh outbreak of tears gathered at the rims of his eyes, there was a hesitant knock on the wood of the door.

Harry looked over his shoulder at the door, a quarter way opened, the gold of the knob catching in the shy rays of sun that finally seemed to come through now.

"Come in," Harry croaked, sitting up slowly.

He didn't want to be a bother to this overly generous family anymore. He knew he was due for an apology to them for his behaviour last night. After all, it wasn't their fault that he had lost everything. All he knew was that he had to stop being a burden to them now--- it was about time. He had definitely overstayed his welcome, regardless of what they would have to say.

The only problem was that Harry wasn't sure what to do or where to go from here on out. When he would leave their residence, where did he go from there?

His overwhelming thoughts were interrupted by Louis, clearing his throat and cautiously approaching the foot of the bed.

"Morning," Harry greeted, attempting to put on a smile for him but he was sure he failed to do so, judging by Louis' sympathetic look.

"Morning, Harry," he greeted back anyhow, "this may be a bit of a foolish question but how are you feeling?"

"Um," Harry swallowed thickly, his eyes fixed on the blanket draped over his lap, "scared," he replied honestly.

Louis hummed, almost as if he had been expecting that answer. "I... I can't even imagine what you're going through right now," he saw Louis look down idly, playing with the fingers over his own lap.

"I----" Harry exhaled a breath before continuing, Louis now surveying him, "I wanted to apologise for my behaviour last night--- it was rude of me to run off like that and---"

"Harry," Louis cut him off gently, shaking his head, "Harry, you don't have to be sorry for how you reacted, you were upset--- we all understand that."

"I still feel horrible," Harry said indignantly, "I'll apologise to your mother as well."

He could see Louis' body sag as he sighed, probably knowing he shouldn't argue any further. He pursed his lips instead and nodded.

"Breakfast is ready if you would like to join us for some, or I could bring it to you here," Louis offered, his eyes were nothing but sincere.

"No, I wouldn't want to be rude--- not again," Harry sat up straighter.

There was silence amongst them after that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Louis broke the silence, his tone unsure.

Harry pondered over the idea for only a moment before he shook his head slowly, "I'm sorry--- I'm afraid I might--- I might, um---"

"Harry," he interrupted him again with a gentle smile, "You don't have to do anything you don't want--- if you don't want to talk about it, it's all right."

Harry let out a shaky breath, feeling a lull sense of relief wash over him, easing his mind even if it was only a little bit.

"Thank you for understanding,"

"No need to thank me," Louis said, the gentle smile still present on his face.

Harry didn't find it pitiful or condescending in any way. He found it... empathetic, maybe, or compassionate.

Harry found that he liked that about Louis. Though he hadn't been here for too long, maybe just a few days short of a month, but Louis--- Louis was ... different. He brought comfort to Harry, something Harry hadn't completely understood as yet.

The realisation then also hit him --- he had been living with them for almost a month.

"Harry?" Louis called out, studying Harry with a furrow between his brows, "You all right?"

"I've been here for almost a month," Harry blurted out, gulping.

Louis seemed shocked at the news as well, his eyes somewhat wider than their normal almond-shape.

"I guess you have," was his eventual response.

Harry blinked, "did you not want me out by now?"

Louis frowned, "You can leave whenever you're ready to, Harry. You're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like to--- ma has told you this already, hasn't she?"

She had. More than once. It still didn't make Harry feel any better, feeling like he would be taking advantage of them.

"Um, you can say no to this if you'd like but ma thought it might help take your mind off of things for a bit, but, uh, my sisters and I--- we want to go to the market into the village for a bit and get a few things. There's quite a lot of things to see there, so if you'd like to, you could come with us,"

Harry couldn't help but notice the hopeful look in his eyes, relenting any other declination he would have had as an answer before noticing it.

"I know it may be a bit... odd to ask you, especially after knowing what you have just gone through but," he shrugged, "I thought I would offer anyways."

"I think I would like that," Harry said carefully, slowly, watching Louis grin at him.

"You think?"

"Yes," Harry nodded decisively, "maybe it'll get my mind off of things for a bit--- my head is all over the place."

"All right," Louis smiled, "well, we can leave after breakfast then--- do you want me to bring you your food here?"

Harry shook his head, pushing the blanket off of him, trying not to hit Louis in the process. Once he stood up, he straightened out the shirt he wore, then the plaid pants, looking up to see Louis already looking at him.

"Sorry," Louis apologised, shaking his head. He turned around then looked over his shoulder at Harry, "let's go then," he smiled.

So, he followed Louis out and met with all of the girls along with his mum at the table. There was an awkward tension over them but it was expected. Harry did appreciate that they hadn't asked anything further than 'how are you?'. They just ate while they exchanged small talk. Harry's mind was too occupied to say too much but he did make sure to apologise to Jay as they cleaned everything up.

She brushed it off and said exactly what Louis said then gave him a hug, something that Harry wasn't expecting but he couldn't deny that it had felt good to be held like that--- to find a comfort in someone else's arm, just like he had when he was younger.

The sad part was he couldn't even remember when last someone had hugged him.

***

The market that they came to was jam-packed. It was loud, full, a little smelly too but Harry found himself loving the overall atmosphere of it anyways. Amongst all of the loudness was laughter and cheerfulness, amongst all the people was a breezy air that made him feel lighter, above the nasty odors were smells from spices, sweets, savouries--- it was overwhelming for him again, though this time, it was so much better to feel.

Now, he felt a gush of air rush into his lungs, expanding it, filling it up so he could finally breathe again.

He smiled, unconscious but small.

"Stick with one of us or else you'll get lost in this place," Louis whispered near his ear, breath warm, causing shivers down his spine.

He jumped a little, turning his head to Louis to give him a small nod and smile.

"Sticking with me then?" Louis asked.

Harry opened his mouth to reply but Lottie beat him to it, "actually, I was thinking about taking Harry to show him the spices--- he has to cook for us some more, don't you think?"

There was a resistance in Louis' eyes, but he didn't say anything, just gave a tight smile and a curt nod, "fine, but we meet right here by the ornaments," he gestured to the tent on their right where a lady stood behind a long table, an array of ornaments over it while she spoke to three ladies on the other end.

Harry was so focused on looking at the ornament of a lady hugging a cat, that he didn't even notice Louis' departure until Lottie pulled at his hand to guide him through the crowd.

"Come on, Harry," she smiled. Harry only glanced behind himself, catching the sight of the back of Louis' head disappearing amongst a sea of people.

Then they came to an abrupt stop at a tent where there were a variety of different spices displayed in tiny mountains over another long table. The smells were otherworldly. It tickled all of Harry's senses.

"It's wonderful, isn't it?" She bit her lip, scanning the bright reds, deep burgandys and stunning yellows of powder.

"Very," Harry agreed, "Thank you for bringing me here," he grinned at her.

"You're welcome, I know you need it," Lottie said, her eyes knowing as she smiled back at him, "I come here too whenever I'm feeling down, you know?"

There was a breeze then, hitting the hair over his face and some of powdered spices whisked through the air, a fairly powerful one stinging his eyes.

He stumbled backwards a bit, blinking a few times then rubbing his eyes with his fist.

"Don't do that, child!" A voice said.

Harry kept blinking through the sting, the prickle running through to his nose now. A cloth or handkerchief was placed over his face suddenly.

"Come wash your eyes out a little," the voice said again.

Harry could make out a figure of a tall, elderly honey-skinned woman in front of him. She guided him to the other side of the table and sat him down on a stool.

His vision was clearing slowly as he saw a small glass of water being passed to him and another hand over his back.

"Wash ya eyes with this," the lady said.

Harry leaned forward and splashed some of the water in his eyes. He let out a few breaths before his vision was clear again then the handkerchief was passed to him again.

He thanked the lady in a small mumble and wiped at his face and eyes before handing it back to her.

"Are you okay?" Lottie asked worriedly, studying his face.

Harry coughed a few times but nodded, "'m fine, are you?"

He finally looked at her then frowned.

"You were leaning over one of them--- think you were smelling it," Lottie explained, seeming to notice his confused expression.

And Harry... did not remember doing that at all. Though it would have made sense, given how inviting their smells were.

"You're not from here are ya?" The lady asked. She was now leaning against her table with the spices but away from the customers that walked passed.

"No," Harry shook his head, blinking once again to rid his eyes of the spice, "What was it that went in my eyes?"

"A few, I imagine," she said, showing him a half-toothy grin, almost as a smirk, "at least now ya know where you can and can't put ya nose," she chuckled softly.

Harry flushed, "sorry," he mumbled.

"Its all right, child," she waved him off, "are ya all right now?"

"I'm fine," Harry nodded and stood up, giving his eyes one last pat, looking up for a moment to settle himself, then went to stand near Lottie.

"Thank you, Mrs. Singh," she said with a smile, "maybe I'll take him elsewhere for the time being."

"All right, take care then," she said, her smile amused.

Harry gave her a courteous nod and followed Lottie again, this time slower as his eyes were still adjusting.

"We'll go and see the windchimes and dreamcatchers," she said excitedly.

They stopped at another tent, this one marginally larger and thankfully no spices. There was windchimes and dreamcatchers, as Lottie had said. The windchimes whistled with the wind and the feathers of the dreamcatchers danced along.

He was familiar with the winchimes; they had one when he lived back at the farm out on the porch. It was soothing, the sounds the chimes would make every time they clanked together, it created a symphony of sounds that were pleasantries to his ears.

Dreamcatchers were something he wasn't familiar with, however. They looked to be fairly intriguing, a circle with thread between the hoop, strung in different patterns with feathers hanging down the ends decorated with a few beads.

"These help you sleep at night," she said to Harry, "would you like one?"

"No, I couldn't ask that of you---"

"It's all right, Harry," she placed a gentle hand over his forearm, looking at him intently, she added, "it'll help you sleep, I know you need it."

It wasn't offensive nor was it patronising the way he would have expected anything like that to have been said--- it was just genuine.

She hadn't asked Harry anything as yet--- none of them had, aside from his conversation with Louis this morning.

She stepped a little further into the tent to pay for it, greeting an elderly man with a spectacles over the bridge of his nose.

Harry watched as she thanked the man and walked back to Harry, handing him a tiny dreamcatcher, the circle fitting into the palm of his hands.

"Its not much but," she gave him a small shrug, "I have one like that and it helps me whenever I need it."

"Thank you," Harry said sincerely, then looked down at the blue and white dreamcatcher in his hand, studying it.

"You're welcome," she looked over his shoulder then waved, a big grin on her face.

Harry turned around to see the twins with Louis at a stall that seemed to sell candles. There were different sizes and colours all over the table. He saw Phoebe leaning down to sniff at one of them, her face lighting up in delight.

Louis was the one Lottie waved to before but now his attention was grabbed by Phoebe who tugged on his arm, pointing at the candle she was sniffing.

"I hope you'll put it up near the window when we get home," she said to Harry.

Harry looked at her again, turning his head, "I will but---"

But, he didn't want to stay with them for so long, taking advantage of their kindess.

"But?" She frowned.

"I---" he swallowed, reminding himself that there was no plan for him any more--- his home was now gone and he had nowhere else to go. Right.

"I--- I need help putting it up," he said quickly.

"Sure," she agreed easily then nodded over his shoulder shortly, "he hasn't stopped looking here, you know?"

Harry blushed, already knowing who she was speaking of.

"He's worried about you," she smiled fondly, "well, we all are but I don't think he got much sleep last and I can't imagine you have either."

That caught his attention, "he didn't?"

"I don't think so," she repeated, "he was up before mum even woke up and that never happens and he looks tired--- so do you."

Harry processed the information with a hum, "I didn't," he replied quietly, not completely sure whether she heard him or not.

"It's all right, we're all here for you," Lottie placed a hand over his shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.

He smiled gratefully, "Thank you but I... I feel like I've overstayed my welcome with you and your family," he admitted, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I can't keep living off of all of you--- you don't deserve that."

"Hey," Lottie said, her tone stern, causing Harry to look at her, "You haven't overstayed your welcome--- you're more than welcome to stay as much as you need."

"I've been feeling too guilty," Harry confessed with a shake of his head, "I cannot keep doing it."

"Harry..." she said helplessly, her head fell to one side as she sighed then, in a blink of an eye she shot up, eyes brightening, "I have an idea; why don't you come to the bakery with me? They're hiring at the moment and that way you can earn something to help us out with some of the groceries or bills--- whatever it is."

Harry contemplated the idea for a moment before nodding slowly, "yeah, all right," he agreed.

He couldn't move out straight away, he knew that much. He would have no place to go. Maybe if he'd work long enough at the bakery then he would save up some money to finally move away--- somewhere else where he wouldn't have to be such a burden to their lovely family anymore.

"Besides, if you'd leave us, my brother may miss you too much," Lottie said quietly, almost secretly.

"I was meant to leave anyhow," Harry replied with, ignoring the heat on his cheeks.

"And he would miss you all the same,"

Harry chuckled softly, unsure of what else to reply with.

"He's still looking, by the way," she said, turning her head to the side. Harry followed her gaze to see that yes, he was still looking. Once he was caught, he swiftly diverted his gaze. Lottie snorted, "You know I haven't seen him like that with anyone after Lance."

Harry pinched his brows together, turning to her again, "Lance?"

"Yes, he did love him," Lottie sighed, "it's a shame he had to move away but I suppose everything happens for a reason."

Harry felt his heart thud against his rib cage. It wasn't as if he was unaware about the way he'd been feeling around Louis but--- but he didn't think of it much--- he wasn't allowed to--- it was wrong. And now, with Lottie knowing about Louis'... nature and implying that--- that it was okay?

"You didn't know," she gasped, "oh, I just assumed you would've known--- I've been speaking about how fond he is of you--- I didn't know any better," she rambled nervously.

"I---" Harry gulped, "um... I just... didn't know, I suppose."

"Oh," she breathed, "I'm--- are you okay with it then?"

Harry stared at her, his mind wandering. All of his life he was taught that a man liking another man was wrong. He was told that fiercely by Rose herself when he informed her about a boy who kissed him on his cheek. He had told her that he liked it and would like to kiss him back.

"Boys cannot like other boys, Harry. If you father finds out about it, he'll be very upset," she said sternly.

He was thirteen at the time. As he grew older, his feelings and emotions had countlessly betrayed him. He had liked their neighbour for a long while, until he had gone off to study.

It was going on for too long; him suppressing his desires and emotions. He wanted to tell his father how he'd felt because he couldn't hide it anymore.

It hit him then.

"I was meant to tell him," Harry exhaled, eyes widening.

"Pardon?"

"My father," Harry said shakily, then shook his head. He wasn't sure if he had ever told his father how he'd felt.

His last memory--- the one at the library--- He was going to tell his father that very day. Harry remembered now, how nervous he had been, how prepared he had been to get kicked out or yelled at.

Perhaps, the worst had happened. Maybe he was with no home for the past year. Had his mission in the ocean been to--- to end his own---

"Harry," she shook his hand, interrupting his morbid thoughts.

"Yeah--- um---"

"Harry!"

They were both interrupted now by Phoebe waving at them, steadily approaching the tent they stood at. Louis and Daisy walked behind her.

"We actually found a scented sandalwood candle. We never get these!" She cheered, showing him the fairly large brown candle.

He smiled, leaning down to smell it. "It's good," he said.

"Did you get anything?" Louis asked, standing close to him.

Harry inhaled sharply, "uh---"

"I bought him a dreamcatcher--- like the one I have--- to help him sleep," Lottie spoke over him.

"Oh,"

"What did you get?" Lottie looked down at a small paper bag in his right hand.

His cheeks turned pink suddenly, "n-nothing, uh, we should get going," he pointed behind himself with his thumb, avoiding their curious gazes.

Before anyone could say anything else, he turned around, already trying to push his way through the crowd. They followed him back, Harry remaining quiet on their way to the Tomlinson residence again.

There was a lot going through his mind. He was more than overwhelmed now. Why would someone else's preferences have to affect him, when he himself had them just about a year ago. For him, it was not that long ago.

It was just... it was real now. He didn't have a father to reveal his secrets to anymore. There was no one to tell him that what he felt was wrong. Although he wasn't sure if he believed it himself. Maybe it was wrong. What if it was?

Louis had been with a boy, as he'd discovered recently, and his sister had said it so freely and with a smile nonetheless. She condoned it then? Harry wondered if Louis' mother had known too. And if Lottie had said it to Harry, assuming Harry had already known of his... preferences, was she implying something?

He had perhaps had his suspicions, given the constant pull he had to Louis, the comfort he felt with him--- but nothing of that nature that Lottie was implying. Or, at least, he hadn't given it much thought to that sorts.

If he was already contemplating the idea to tell his father that day at the library, had he? It was gnawing at his brain, not knowing what the outcome was.

He found himself in a perplexed state, as to what to do now. The past two days had been more than just eventful, they had been frustrating--- maddening even.

That constricting he had felt in his chest earlier had started again by the time they had reached the house again. Louis and his siblings were laughing and chatting but he could only hear then pounding of his heart above their noises.

There was a hand then, just as he felt the sweat gather over his forehead, over his shoulder. It grounded him suddenly and he let out a sharp exhale.

"You all right?"

It was Louis.

Harry nodded, his mind still hazy.

Louis frowned at him, "Lottie says you would like to go to the bakery with her later today, is that true?"

"Y-Yes," he cleared his throat, "is that... is that fine?"

Louis was still frowning deeply, studying him, "are you sure you're all right? You don't have to go today, you know."

His hand was still on Harry's shoulder, "I think--- I think I'll just lie down for a bit."

Harry shrugged Louis' hand off of his shoulder, only because he needed to lie down for a bit. The sound of Louis' footsteps followed him to a point until he heard Lottie mutter something that made them stop.

Harry hated being rude. But he wasn't sure what else to do. He just needed to calm himself down, that was all.

A lay down was what seemed the most inviting. When his head hit the pillow, he looked up at the ceiling, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes. Before he knew it, slumber took over.

***

When he awoke, it was to Jay shaking his shoulders gently.

"Harry," she whispered, "let's get you somethin' to eat, hon."

He shot up, rubbing his eyes, "'m sorry," he apologised in a gruff voice.

"Oh, it's all right, dear," she smiled warmly, "Lottie explained what happened."

"Oh," Harry blinked, looking down, "everything?"

"Enough," she said, "she's leaving soon, Louis will accompany you both, if that's okay."

"Of course it is," Harry said quickly, "I--- I hope you don't think any different of me."

"You're going through a lot, love," she said, "but whatever it is, we are all here."

"I appreciate it," he said, "has she told you that I would like to repay you all then? And I hope to do so until I can move---"

"There is no hurry, dear. You have us as long as you need us," she said firmly. With a pat to his hand, she stood up, "let's get somethin' for you to eat then you all can leave."

It was just as the sun was setting that they left. Watching the sun disappear into the horizon reminded him of their trip to the bookstore. He was so focused on his thoughts and the sun setting that he hasn't even noticed that Louis was not joining them to the bakery.

"Louis isn't coming?" Harry asked Lottie.

She shook her head, "hasn't been called in to the theatre tonight so I told him not to worry."

"Oh," Harry wanted to ask if she had told Louis about what had happened at the market.

"He doesn't know," she said, almost as if she had read his mind or maybe he'd voiced his thoughts, "you shouldn't look at my brother any differently just because he loved someone."

Harry was taken aback at her words, floundered, he said, "I don't."

"From your reactions towards him since then, I have reason to believe otherwise," she muttered, "and I understand that there is a lot going on for you at the moment but I wouldn't appreciate your prejudice."

"I'm not---" Harry said quickly, then huffed, "it's just---where I'm from, people are not used to saying it so... openly. They aren't just okay with it."

"Not many people are here either," she said, "we were young when he was with Lance--- it wasn't anything odd or weird for us--- I suppose it's because we didn't know any different, maybe that was why I was so quick to assume then. Liking someone is just... liking someone to us."

"That's..."

Wonderful, was what Harry thought. It was so wonderful that they weren't shown the harsh realities of how the world truly was.

"Harry," Lottie stopped in her steps suddenly. Harry turned to her, frowning in question. She looked up at him, her lips pursed, "my brother... he seems to be quite smitten with you."

Harry inhaled sharply.

"If you have no intentions with him, I suggest you tell him soon. I know this is all a lot for you, Harry but I do care about my brother. He may not realise it as yet--- how he feels, I mean--- but I notice it. If you need to speak about it, you can speak to me."

"Lottie, I say with this as much respect as I can, it's just... a lot of pressure right now for me. I--- there's a lot i need to think about right now, I haven't got a home or family anymore whereas a month ago, from what I remember, I did. I feel like I can't even breathe so I don't mean be disrespectful but I cannot think of it at the moment and if I do, it would be with your brother," he let out a breath.

She blinked up at him, clearly surprised but she nodded anyways, her eyes sympathetic, "I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable."

"No I--- I know you're protective over your brother," he said softly, "You all are."

"We are," she said then looked down, "you'll talk to him then? He thinks he's done something to upset you. I told him it was just recent events--- I suppose it was partially true-- but he didn't believe it."

"I'll speak to him," he promised.

They continued their walk to the bakery then.

"Why is the bakery opened so late?" He frowned, as they got closer to the small shop.

"Its opened until nine at night," Lottie said, "because there's lots of people coming and in and out of the town at ungodly hours--- Julia just wants to provide as much as she can."

"Julia is the owner of the bakery then?"

"She is, formally as Mrs. Anders but she will probably tell you to call her Julia anyways,"

"Why Harrison's, then?" Harry asked, examining the sign above the bakery, the letters bold and cursive in a bright pink colour.

"Harrison was her father's name," Lottie said then proceeded to open the door, the bell dinging above them as she did so.

"Lottie!" A middle-aged woman with brown hair and pale skin greeted her with a friendly smile then looked at Harry, "you've brought a friend."

"Hello, I'm Harry," he extended a hand out for her to shake.

She shook it politely, "nice to finally meet you."

Harry returned the sentiment then she went into a conversation with Lottie about something Harry wasn't quite sure he understood, hearing odd names of people and what he assumed to be baked goods.

Speaking of baked goods, the small little bakery smelt purely of buttery pastry and teeth-rottening sugary deliciousness that made his mouth water. There was a glass display in front with cakes and pies and different pastries, a lot of them he hadn't seen before.

Maybe this was a good thing to do. After all, he liked cooking. Why not try baking?

The rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent inside the bakery; Harry learnt the ins and outs from Julia and Lottie, even had a quick go with a customer. Harry later found out that the man thay he served was from Gilly's crew and that they'd been out at sea for a while.

The man's name was George and he was picking up a few pieces of jam tarts for his family, saying that his little girl loved them. Harry smiled fondly.

After Lottie's shift was over, Julia suggested that Harry observe a few things and get used to everything before he started actually working with them.

Harry was happy to find that he actually liked his time there. He was excited to go back tomorrow.

By the time they had both gotten home, they were exhausted. Harry felt his feet cramping and knees aching as he took steps further into the house. Lottie yawned out a 'Good night' before heading up to her room while Harry headed to the room he slept in. As he lay in bed, he couldn't help but wonder if what Lottie had said was true. Was Louis smitten with him?

The thought itself caused a flutter in his stomach and that familiar swoop sensation made his breath catch in his throat. There was still warmth in the room, despite the fact thay there was little to no sunlight in it earlier.

Perhaps it was another sign of some sort. How it was, Harry wasn't too sure yet. He couldn't dwell on anything for the time being though, as his eyelids grew heavier and he finally fell into a slumber.

***

Harry awoke the next day to a crash coming from the kitchen. Frightened by the noise, he shot up immediately, resting his palm over his erratic heart. Oddly enough, as soon as he heard Jay's voice scolding Phoebe, he calmed down a bit.

With a heavy exhale, he pushed the blanket off of himself and decided to head to the kitchen. There wasn't a chance of him falling back to sleep now that he was awake.

When he walked in, Jay was bent down next to Phoebe, sweeping up a broken glass into a dustpan while Daisy and Lottie sat at the table, quietly munching on their breakfast.

"Morning," he greeted hesitantly, feeling the palpable tension of the room.

Jay stood up and passed him a gentle smile, "Mornin', hon, breakfast is on the table," she pointed to where the two girls sat.

"Thank you," he smiled back then looked at Phoebe's pink cheeks and watery eyes, "can I help you?"

Phoebe looked up at him, nodding slowly. Thankfully, neither jay or the other two girls said anything as he took the dustpan from her and started to sweep up the glass.

"There," he said, standing up again and smiling gently at Phoebe. She smiled back at him.

"I'll throw it away," she offered. Harry nodded and passed it back to her, meeting Jay's eyes as soon as Phoebe moved away from Harry's sight.

She sighed, shaking her head, "she could have done it herself, love."

Harry simply shrugged and gave her a sheepish smile.

"Put some shoes on and come join us for breakfast then," she said, her tone very motherly-like. Harry couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled lowly, seeing the amused smile on her face.

Before he turned to step out of the kitchen, he glanced at the table where the girls sat and then he finally realised---

"Did Louis leave for the chippy already?" He asked.

Every single one of them stopped whatever they were doing; Lottie with the spoon still held mid air, full of oats, Daisy mid-chew and Phoebe just entering the kitchen again, the pan still in her hand while Jay stood at the sink, her eyes cast downwards.

"He didn't want to wake you, love," Jay smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes, "he knew you had a tough day yesterday," she added.

Harry nodded, swallowing quickly and smiling before walking out. After hearing what Lottie had said yesterday, Louis still probably thought that he had done something wrong.

He couldn't have that. Louis hadn't done anything wrong at all. He huffed, feeling sullen.

When he joined the girls and Jay again, there was easy conversation that flew through them.

The rest of the day was spent helping Jay around in the kitchen, cooking them up some chowder and cleaning around then spending time with the girls until he left with Lottie to the bakery again.

It was just like yesterday, feeling his senses lift from just the smells and even getting to try some of them pastries for free. There was a small kitchen he wanted to request permission to explore but he knew it was a bit too soon. It was only his second day after all, who was he to ask anything of them, really?

He hadn't seen George again even though Julia said he was a regular. Maybe he would visit them tomorrow; he was busy anyhow.

Lottie had kept to herself mostly, even on their walk to the bakery. She asked how he'd slept and if he was okay, after that there was no talk, just the two of them, beside each other, a tension laying as thick as syrup between them.

Finally, when they made their way back to the house, Harry couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out in a shaky breath.

She turned to him, eyebrows furrowed, "Sorry?"

"Yes," he confirmed with a nod that was shameful at best, "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that yesterday and I---"

"Oh, Harry," she spoke over him, "if anything, I'm sorry--- I shouldn't have said anything to you, especially after knowing what you're going through."

Then there were silent again but it wasn't filled with tension as before. But then, that raised the question;

"So, why have you been so quiet with me today?"

Lottie sighed, "I felt a bit ashamed, truthfully, I pushed you and I had no right to."

"I understand," Harry smiled in what he hoped was a comforting manner for the short time she looked at him, "protective sister, I know--- I wish I had one."

"I kind of am,"

Harry looked at her curiously, a strange sort of happiness bloomed in his heart. The breeze was nonexistent today, proving to him that he had in fact heard correctly.

"Really?" He breathed out, the puff of air billowed out into a cloud of smoke in the cold air.

"Of course, silly," she gave him a crooked smile, "maybe not as much--- but I would like to think I am like a sister to you by now, aren't I?"

She was smiling at him teasingly so he couldn't help but grin back, chuckling lowly, "I guess you are."

He never had siblings growing up. He really longed for one--- older or younger, didn't matter--- but his father had refused to remarry after his mother and so he remained an only child.

"You have a family with all of us, Harry, I hope you know,"

The way she spoke was just like her mother. The thought crept a smile onto his face.

"And family helps family," she continued, "so don't feel as if you're burdening us or anything like that, you've been lovely to have around."

"I---" he wanted to protest and argue about how it can't be enough for him to just reside with them for over a month, "Thank you," he said instead.

Nothing else needed to be said after that, at least he didn't think it was necessary. Their last words bared weight for the rest of their walk.

So, Harry simply enjoyed the evening, crisp cold air and cauldron black sky, a round beam of softly edged light lit their path back.

The moon was a naturally wondrous thing; beautiful, big and bright. He wondered it why so often went unnoticed. Everyone saw the sun rise and set yet no one noticed when the moon awakened.

"Full moon tonight," she said just as they approached the red-brick house.

"Its beautiful," Harry said, smiling up at it before following her in.

"Louis," Lottie greeted, half surprised.

Louis was on their three-seater couch, a blanket over his lap along with a book. He looked up at the both of them, tired smile on his face and day old scruff peppered over his jaw.

"You're up," she stated, moving to stand behind the couch he was sitting on.

"Couldn't sleep,"

"Well, I'm knackered," she patted him on the shoulder then gave Harry a quick nod, "I'm off to bed."

Her footsteps faded away as she walked further up the stairs, her body darkening into just a silhouette.

"Are you not tired?"

Harry wavered in himself a bit, looking at Louis. He shook his head, "What about you?"

"Can't sleep remember," Louis said.

Right, he had said as much when Lottie had asked why he was still up.

"Would you like to join me?"

Harry hesitated for a second before nodding shortly. He looked down at the floor as he approached Louis, counting the lines in the wood until he reached.

Louis patted the seat next to himself, moving away some of the blanket so he could sit. Harry passed him a grateful smile as he sat down. He knew he was rigid on the cushion, body still guarded in fear of being too close to Louis. Not because of anything other than the fact that he may be crossing boundaries.

"Harry," he started with a sigh, shutting the book in his hands with a soft thud, "have I done something wrong?"

All right then, straight to it.

Harry took a deep breath before looking at him. His heart stuttered upon seeing the genuine concern painted across his face.

"No, no you haven't, Louis," he replied, "I--- I'm just a bit... lost, I think."

"Okay... lost how?" He asked slowly, turning towards Harry.

Harry's shoulders slumped, letting out a sigh, "Lottie and I spoke," he started, his thumbs twiddling over his lap.

"She told me that much," Louis said.

He looked so timid and a little scared and Harry didn't want that. His eyes were blue--- that same glowing blue--- as he looked intently at Harry.

"She told me about Lance," he confessed quietly, pulling the sleeves of his coat over his knuckles.

The night became too quiet then, as Harry waited for a reply from Louis. It felt like an eternity before he finally heard Louis clearing his throat that caught his attention.

"And?"

Harry bit his lip, the vulnerability seeped through his eyes for only a moment before a glassy wall stood guard, his expression becoming stoic.

It was--- was he preparing himself for the worst?

Harry recognised that look. His whole life he went around with that look plastered across his face.

"And I don't get it," he said in one quick breath, blinking twice, "How?" He croaked out.

Louis' guard fell a little, watching Harry's reaction.

"How what?"

"How did you do it? How can you live so proudly? How do people not loathe you and spit on your shoes every time they see you?"

Then, Louis' expression softened and the walls crumbled.

"It isn't easy," he said, "people don't see it the way I do but I've learnt to just not give a fuck and you know, when you have the right person by your side, everything else just cares away--- becomes quite... trivial, if you will."

"So you're saying h-hypothetically, m-me for example, would need to find someone to be with?"

Louis studied him carefully. He suspected something.

Harry breath quickened.

"No, no," Louis shook his head, "they male it easier, sure, but you just need to remember that loving someone else--liking them-- there's nothing wrong with that--- no matter the gender."

"Then why do people hate it?" Harry asked, feeling his throat clog up with emotion.

Louis let out a sigh, a sad smile on his lips, "because they don't understand it."

Harry mulled over his words. Unintentionally, he started to lean backwards until his spine collided with the back of the couch.

"It wasn't easy," Louis repeated quietly, his eyes distant, "there were people--- a lot of people--- that disapproved but I just realised that it didn't matter, there's always going to be those to criticise but I knew I'd be all right."

"Its hard," Harry swallowed the led in his throat, "when you've been taught something one way from the time you were little to suddenly look at it another."

Louis hummed, nodding, seeming to understand, "it helps when other people see it the way you do though--- without hatred or disgust--- all of that."

"Do you know anyone else besides your mum and siblings?" Harry asked, heart beating faster.

Louis smiled, slow and fond, "none other than Ms. Allen, of course."

His eyes widened, a foreign sense of happiness blooming in his heart, "Really?"

"Yes," Louis said, "she was the first person I told, in fact, because my mother was away."

"At war,"

Louis nodded.

"What did she say?" Harry asked, waiting anxiously.

Louis seemed to study him for a moment, his eyes shifting back and forth with Harry's. Harry felt slightly intimidated, frowning at Louis.

"A lot of things," Louis answered, "You could speak to her, you know?"

"Why?" Harry asked instantly--- defensively. It was something that took him by surprise. He pursed his lips then, ready to apologise for his abrasiveness when Louis spoke.

"She just helps, Harry," he stared at him, "if there's anything you need to talk about, she'll help."

Harry knew then that Louis had definitely suspected something.

"I'm scared," Harry confessed, quiet and small, "not for-- I'm not--- I'm just---"

"I was too," Louis cut him off, "and I'm not implying anything--- just that you look like you could use a bit of a Ms. Allen talk, don't you agree?"

Harry grinned, though it was small, it was grateful.

"What happened with you and... um, Lance?"

Louis inhaled sharply, looking away briefly before returning his gaze to Harry's. "He moved away to help his family with business."

"Oh," Harry breathed out, "You didn't want to leave with him?"

"I did--- we talked about that---"

A bubble of green formed at the pit of his stomach then, something Harry hadn't felt many times before, not since he was a child and he saw their neighbour's daughter play with her mother in their backyard on their new swing set.

It was a longing--- an envy.

"But I had a family to provide for here and he had his. Besides, I think we both knew it was for the best,"

Harry puffed out air from his cheeks, "wow," he said, "do you miss him?"

"In a way," Louis admitted, "he was a friend of mine before anything after all but--but I've moved on, I think--- at least as much as one can from their first love," he chuckled nervously.

The bubble grew larger then, but Harry bit his tongue.

"I'm sorry," he said instead, "there's so much going on in my mind and that's no excuse for me to have been ignoring you but it was definitely part of it."

"It's okay," Louis reassured him with a gentle smile, "we'll figure everything out, okay? Baby steps?"

Harry nodded, letting out a sigh of relief, feeling lighter, "baby steps," he agreed.

***

Mrs. Anders decided to give Harry off on Thursdays and Sundays while he worked at the bakery. By the time the end of the week had arrived, Harry had already gotten used to how the bakery functioned and he became good friends with Lottie and Mrs. Anders.

Lottie didn't work the same days as him, at least not all of them, which he was pretty sad about but he found himself still enjoying his overall day at the bakery anyways.

He brought home his first payment to the Tomlinson household with a grin on his face and pride in his heart. It was barely a fraction of what they had done for him but it was a start.

Jay looked little guilty as she accepted it, repeating her argument about Harry being as good as family by now, but Harry wasn't having any of it, countering with how everyone else had jobs as well, even if they weren't everyday.

She gave him a fond smile and thanked him after that, Louis watching from the other end of the table with an amused smile on his own face.

After their talk that night--- at the beginning of the week--- they had slowly started to enjoy each other's company again. Harry hadn't gone back to the chippy for a good few days now and he was starting to miss their eventful morning together.

Louis had said as much later that afternoon, just before Harry and Lottie had left for work and Louis to the theatre. Lottie bit her lip, refraining from smiling while Harry felt his cheeks grow hot, quietly admitting that he had felt the same way.

He still found himself perplexed at his own thoughts more often than not. After Louis had opened up about his previous relationship and handling the town's prejudice about him, Harry felt slightly more frightened, oddly enough.

Maybe it was because he was new in the town. He was also the talk of the town; people generally figured out who he was and where he had come from and that he was taking residence with the Tomlinsons. Harry noticed their lingering stares and scrutinizing glances every now and then.

That was why, Friday after their shift at the Harrison's, Louis sheepishly offered if he would like to make a visit to Ms. Allen, questioning how Harry was feeling and if he would feel comfortable talking to her rather than Louis.

Harry wasn't exactly more comfortable with her but perhaps he would need aa different perspective on, well, everything going on in his life currently. His mind still felt jumbled and his scar still itched sometimes, proving to be a painful reminder of what he once had.

By the way Louis had asked him, he noticed that Louis had asked him that with an... odd tone. It was sheepish, that much was obvious, but it also seemed to be a bit... anxious, possibly?

Nonetheless, Harry agreed, deciding to give it a go. Louis spoke very highly of her and she was trusted enough to have been the first person he had revealed his secret to--- that had to have meant something.

He didn't have a Rose here to speak to, nor did he have a Dandelion to vent about his issues to. Even though she hadnt spoken back to Harry, he would always feel lighter after speaking to her.

His heart ached for her. He didn't know if she was even alive or not.

Memories of the old towns butcher visiting their house came to mind; how he would insist that slaughtering Dandelion would benefit them financially and breeding her would be even more beneficial. Thankfully, with whatever heart his father had left, he declined Norman's offer and sent him off. But Harry never missed the days he would stare at them a touch too long whenever they would go past his butchery or the times he happened to drive by their farm, slowing down outside their house and nearby the stables where Dandelion was.

Harry sincerely hoped that someone--- a kind soul--- had saved his Dandelion and that she was at least happy, healthy and alive with them, even he did miss her a great deal.

What striked Harry as frighteningly odd was that, while he had weeped for his father initially, now he didn't. He would have thought that he would have been a bit more distraught about it, given that his father was the only family he had had left. Yet, he wasn't--- not as much as he thought he would be, that is.

He discovered that he had missed the farm and their animals more than he did for his father. The realisation made him feel like a horrible human being.

Above all was the ball of iron sitting at the base of his throat when he remembered that he was meant to speak to his father that very same day at the library about he had felt for most of his life. He was tired of hiding and being forced to fit in to please other people--- he just wanted to be free. He wasn't sure if he had spoken to him or chickened out at the last minute, scared of the repercussions of being so vulnerable and honest with someone like him.

"Where has your mind gone to?" Louis asked suddenly, waving a hand in front of him.

"Thinking about, um, the farm I guess," Harry said, shrugging half-heartedly.

"Oh," Louis nodded, pursing his lips and looking down at the ground, "You miss it then?"

"Yes," Harry answered truthfully, not in any type of mood to elaborate. Louis must have sensed that as his only reply was an apology to Harry which then followed by silence until they reached Ms. Allen's bookstore.

"Well, it's about time," was the first thing they heard when they walked in, coming from none other than Pheobe Tomlinson.

"The one time they leave early to work," Louis mumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes.

Harry let out a low chuckle, giving each of the twins a kiss on their cheek and to the front desk, in search of Ms. Allen, Louis following behind him.

"Ms. A?" Louis called out, resting his hands on top of the dusty desk, peering over the edge and into the back room for any sign of her.

Harry couldn't help but notice how much his side-profile stood out. His jaw was chiseled and cheekbones sharp, the stubble over his lower half contrasting greatly with his golden skin. He looked... handsome.

"Louis," Ms. Allen greeted happily, startling Harry out of his stare. Harry blinked quickly, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat and smiled at Ms. Allen when she greeted him too.

"Another visit then?"

"Not happy to see us, are you?" Louis teased.

Ms. Allen chuckled, "always a pleasure with you lot," she shook her head, "here to volunteer here again then?"

"Well, uh, I suppose I could but Harry here--- well, he was wondering if he could speak with you,"

Harry felt a bit embarrassed. He was right next to Louis--- he could speak to her by himself.

"Well, all right then," she placed her hands on her hips, her expression a little confused but not unwelcome.

"You tell me what to do to help and I'll leave you two a lone for a bit then?" Louis asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"You can help your sisters," she directed, pointing in their direction.

Louis nodded. He looked at Harry with a small smile before walking away. Suddenly, nerves sparked in his chest, being left alone with Ms. Allen.

She wasn't intimidating at all but he was just anxious.

"So what can I do for you then, love?" She beckoned him over behind the desk.

Harry flushed, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he approached her.

"Come on, let's go into my little office--- we'll have some privacy there," she said, opening the burgundy door, he hinges squeaking as she did so.

Once they were both inside, she locked the door and sat at her tiny desk.

It was a fairly small office. There were a set of rust-coloured blinds behind where Ms. Allen sat, covering an expanse of a wall, opposite that were movie posters that were framed, from movies like Casablanca and Its A Wonderful Life to some tjat he hadn't heard of before like Bicycle Thieves. The walls complemented the colour of the blinds, painted a burnt orange, newspapers stacked in one corner of the room while a small bookshelf was squeezed into the other. It seemed like a beautiful mess, really.

"Sit down, darling," she gestured to the chair on the other side of the desk, an old green colour with some of the foam peeking out the sides.

He obliged anyhow, sitting down and shimming himself on it to get comfortable.

She folded her hands across the-mostly-empty desk and intertwined her fingers. "So, what can I do for you, love?"

Objectively, it sounded too formal for him to be comfortable but oddly enough, he wasn't uncomfortable by any means. That same warmth and friendliness still radiated off of her in another setting.

"I--- I know this is sort of abrupt and m-maybe a little weird too, given that we hardly know each other--- I mean, I've only met you once before this--- maybe I shouldn't have c---"

"Sweetheart," she interrupted firmly, her tone still kind, "you're more than welcome to speak to me about anything you'd like to."

"But... But you barely know me," he said, only just grasping the fact that he had basically come to a virtual stranger to seek help.

Still, it hadn't felt like it with Ms. Allen. She hadn't felt unfamiliar at all--- maybe that was why he hadn't even batted an eyelash when Louis had suggested that he speak to her.

That, and the fact that she was the only other person, besides Louis' family that would... understand him.

"Whatever it is that's going on, you can tell me about it, love," she said gently, her misty blue eyes searching his while a smile played on her thin lips.

"Um," Harry frowned, reconsidering how much of a good idea this actually was.

"Lets start with how you're doing, yes? Daisy says you've gotten yourself a job at Harrison's,"

"Yes, I have. Louis and his family have done so much for me-- I have to repay them somehow and I don't even know how long I'm going to be here--- I can't keep living off of them," Harry explained.

She frowned, "Oh, sweetheart, I don't think you understand how the Tomlinsons work," she let out a short chuckle that sounded slightly condescending but he let it slip.

"Jay has told me---as well as the rest--- that I don't need to do anything, but, I have to. They've done a lot for me and I think I'd go mad if I had to sit and do nothing else,"

"Fair enough, but, dear, you need to know you don't owe them anything. They are just being decent human beings," she smiled.

Harry kept quiet, just nodding at that.

"Are you enjoying it there so far?"

"Its good, yes," Harry replied honestly, he leaned over the table, arms crossed over one another, "but..."

"But... you miss your father and your home?" She offered.

Harry shook his head almost shamefully, "that's it though, I find that I don't miss my father as much I should and I miss my home, sure, but only--- um, just... the animals, I suppose," he ended, cheeks hot from his confession and throat thick with emotion.

"Oh," she huffed, "Well, everyone is different, dear, don't beat yourself up over it."

"But I should grieve for him more, shouldn't I? He's my father after all,"

"You should feel however you want to feel and nothing else," she said, lips twitched upwards, "you're worrying yourself over how you should be feeling?"

Having been put like that, it sounded so silly. It sounded like he was a fool, to be honest.

"I'm still feeling... lost," Harry chose to say, ignoring the mixed emotions that had come with her previous statement.

"Because you have nowhere to go back to now?"

It was a blunt, factual statement that hit him hard. No matter how many times he'd said it to himself before, hearing it come from another person made it feel all the more surreal to him.

"I----I think so," he stammered, "it's just... now what? I'm stuck."

She gave him a sad smile, "you're not stuck, dear--- look, maybe you can see this in a different light--- think of this as starting over, brand new--- not stuck or lost?"

He looked at her, studying her unsure features, the twist of her lips and the messy strands of hair that fell over her face.

"Its scary, yes, and it will take time, that's for sure. But, this is your chance to start a whole new life," she added.

"What about my old life?" Harry gulped, the thought of starting over with nothing made his palms tingle.

She squinted her eyes into narrow slits and leaned even further over the table, "tell me, dear, were you even happy staying there?"

Harry froze on the spot. He had his Dandelion to keep him company and his father... Well, his father remained just that: his father.

"I don't know," he said in a soft murmur.

"Happiness is something you're bound to know what it feels like--- if you don't know them I'm afraid you weren't."

Harry now discovered that she has little to no filter on what she said but he didn't find that to be a terrible thing, despite feeling his throat clog up again after hearing her words.

"Look, sweetheart," she placed her palm flat on the table to gain his attention, "I'm not saying forget everything--- I'm just saying, move on from it now--- you are surrounded by wonderful people here who will accept you--- have accepted you--- with opened arms because you yourself are wonderful too--- embrace it."

Embrace it.

"How?"

She shrugged, pushing herself backwards to lean against her chair, "that's for you to figure out, I'm afraid."

Harry huffed. 'Move on', he almost scoffed at how easily it was said. How could he just move on from everything he had ever known--- Or, remembered, rather?

Still, she wasn't completely wrong in saying that he was surrounded by wonderful people. He definitely was. The Tomlinsons have done more than enough for him.

"Sweetheart, you have to remember that what's happened to you is also not your fault," she said, interrupting his thoughts, "stop blaming yourself for dealing with your pain."

"I don't think I am," Harry said.

Physically, he had more or less healed, aside from the occasional itch or burn over his scar when the wind was a touch too chilly. Emotionally, well, needless to say, he was a mess.

"Maybe that's where you start then," she suggested, "there's something in your mind that's a problem and worrying you, so try to solve it then."

Harry frowned, feeling even more confused.

She sighed, "You felt as if you hadn't done enough to pay the Tomlinsons back, yes?" Harry nodded. "So, in order to help them out, you've taken up a job to earn money, am I right?" Harry nodded again. "Paying them back for what they've done for you was worrying you for a while, but you have found a solution for it, correct?"

Harry nodded once more, slower this time. He was finally starting to get what she was saying--- somewhat.

"You want me to figure out a solution to each problem that's worrying me?" He asked.

"Yes," she confirmed with a short nod, "or at the very least try to."

"All right," Harry replied. That meant that he would have to make a list of some sort maybe, in attempt to find solutions to them. "And if I can't?"

She chuckled lowly, "every problem has a solution, love. If you can't find it now, you'll find it eventually--- part of the mystery of life, isn't it?"

"But---"

"Dear, just--- take a deep breath for me, love," she cut him off with an instruction.

He did as he was told.

"Good," she smiled knowingly, "you're alive, you know? That's a good thing. You're here and I know you're scared but Harry, I can see that there's great things ahead of you from here."

"You believe that?"

"I do," she said, "but you have to as well-- if things are getting too much for to handle again, just take a deep breath and remember that you have a future that lies ahead of you--- one that you can make the most of."

"All right," he nodded, puffing out air from his cheeks, "Well, thank you, I suppose--- I know this was a bit random and I don't really know you but---"

"You have a habit of rambling, don't you?" She chuckled, pushing herself off of her chair, "you're welcome to talk to me anytime now come on, let's go see what those three are up to in my bookstore."

Harry passed her a small smile and followed her out, pondering over her advice. He didn't feel... helped, in any sort of way but he did feel, lighter perhaps. Maybe talking about it helped in its own sort of way.

"Oh and Harry?" She stopped suddenly in her tracks and turned around to face him.

"Yes?"

"I can see that Louis cares for you... I can only hope that you do the same for him,"

Harry swallowed, "I do," he said quickly, despite being taken aback by the abruptness of her statement.

"Good," she said, seemingly satisfied, then turned around again, making her way to the twins. 

"Would you like to stay for a bit or do you prefer to go home now?"

Harry jumped a bit, hearing Louis' voice, not even realising that he was so close to him.

"Uh, whatever you'd like to do," he said after composing himself.

Louis studied his face. Harry felt hot under his stare, his eyes moving down to the floor and hands stuffed into his pockets out of the intensity of it all.

"Hey, how about we watch that sunset again?" Louis suggested softly.

Harry looked up again, seeing the sincerity behind Louis' eyes. His lips twitched upwards a bit, "yeah, all right."

They ended up waiting over an hour before the sun actually set into the horizon. Harry watched as the golden-orange melted away into the water, his mind otherwise occupied by two things from what Ms. Allen had said.

Think of this as starting over, brand new and Embrace it, rang through his mind all while Louis sat next to him, watching the sunset too though Harry knew he was worried, the emotion radiating off of him in strong waves.

Then he thought to himself, maybe she was right. The ambers reflected over the glass window and he thought, there the sun goes again, only to come back up, every time it rose, the world started anew.

Maybe he could too.

 


	5. V: Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry about the late update. I had trouble uploading the chapter but it's here now! 
> 
> Please don't forget to leave a kudos/comments If you like it! 
> 
> And the next update will be on Sunday!

Louis had no intention to pry when he made his journey to Harry's room. He just happened to walk up to the door --- that was opened, mind you--- and find Harry sitting at the head of the bed, adjusting the little dreamcatcher Lottie had given him on the wall above where'd slept.

He smiled fondly at the small frown on his lips and scrunch between his brows while he adjusted the tape over the string of catcher.

"Maybe you should use a bit more tape,"

Harry jumped straight off the bed and to his feet, as if he had been caught in the middle of a heinous crime.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Louis winced, "may I come in?"

Harry nodded, adjusting the woolen cardigan over himself. Louis' cardigan. The very same one he wore the day he had found Harry, in fact.

"I wore that the day I found you, you know?" Louis said to him, taking slow steps towards Harry.

Harry looked down at the sleeves that covered half of his fingers, "Would you like it back?" He asked Louis.

Louis chuckled softly, shaking his head, "No, you can keep it. It looks better on you anyways."

Harry smiled, his cheeks growing pink, "thanks."

"So," Louis sat on the bed, eyeing the dreamcatcher, "finally put it up then?"

"Yes, I forgot I put it in the coat pocket of mine when we had gone to the market," Harry explained, walking over to it and studying it, "Lottie said I should keep it here."

"Seems about right," Louis turned to him, "how are you doing?"

Harry sighed through his nostrils and looked down at the floor, "fine, I think," his eyes then met Louis', "and you?"

"I'm good,"

Louis noticed that his face wasn't pale and eyes weren't red-rimmed as they had been for the past two weeks so maybe he was truly fine, in some aspect of the word.

"You've been busy this week," Harry said, almost bashful, his left shoulder leaning against the wall and arms crossed over his chest with his shoulders slightly hunched.

"Yes, um, I heard I missed out on some great lasagne last night,"

Louis recalling how Daisy raved about it this morning before he had left to work. He felt bad for not spending time with them as much. Their dinners and weekend breakfasts were something he looked forward to, getting to actually speak to all of them and catch up on what they'd been doing. And, as of recently, he had missed Harry as well.

"I can make it again," Harry shrugged, a crooked smile on his face, popping out his famous dimple.

"I'll look forward to it then and maybe throw in some dessert to, while you're at it, since you're working for Julia now," he teased.

Harry snorted, "unless you come and buy some yourself, that's called stealing."

"Only if you get caught," Louis shrugged.

Harry chuckled, "right, and I quite like my job so I'm not going to take that risk."

"You're enjoying it?" Louis asked, as if Harry hadn't just said he did. It was just for clarification.

"I am," Harry confirmed, "going to learn how to make apple crumble next week."

Louis outright moaned, "my favourite--- now you have to get some for me."

Harry let out a small chuckle again, "or you could come in yourself and get some?"

"Actually, I might just do that," Louis said, being quite serious. He had meant to stop by the bakery a few times now but his work had kept him busy and exhausted.

"Whenever you can," Harry nodded excitedly, "get to see me in action," he laughed.

Louis laughed back, "Only fair since you've seen me, I suppose."

"Exactly," he smiled.

He had a beautiful smile. Those dimples were meant to be seen.

Louis shook his head, "speaking of, my work at the theatre has been keeping me busy most of the week--- they're doing a production of Macbeth--- would you like to accompany me tomorrow to check it out?"

Harry seemed taken aback by the question. There was silence amongst them for a moment or two before he nodded vigorously and agreed.

"Fan of Macbeth then?" Louis asked, amused at his enthusiasm.

"Of course," Harry almost scoffed, "are you not?"

"Its all right, I suppose, just not one of my favourites,"

Harry made an affronted noise. "And here I thought you had great choice in literature."

Louis gaped at him, amused and shocked, "well, look at you running your mouth."

It was nice, actually, seeing him slowly come back to the way he was initially--- after he had gotten past his first recovery.

"Passionate, what can I say," he shrugged, grinning.

"Understandable," Louis gave him that, "let's take you shopping for some clothes soon, shall we?"

"Don't like me wearing your clothes?" He looked down at himself then at Louis, an amused lilt to his lips.

Louis shook his head, "No, no nothing like that--- I don't mind, I promise---"

Harry barked out a cackle, "I'm kidding," he said through his laughs.

Louis exhaled, his body sagging, "You really are full of surprises," he muttered.

"Was funny," Harry mumbled, shrugging at him.

"Sure," Louis drawled out teasingly, "all right, cheeky, let's go help out with the dishes."

"I told your mum I would do it," Harry groaned, following Louis out.

"Unless you're there at the time, she will not listen to you,"

"I'm beginning to see that," he mumbled as they approached the kitchen.

"Took you long enough," Louis turned to him briefly to wink at him gaily. He bit back a growing smile after noticing the warm pink over Harry's cheeks.

***

"You're taking him to theatre?" His mother asked, cocking her head to the side, her eyes searching his.

"Yes, why? Is there a problem?" He frowned, shrugging on his coat.

"No, no, of course not," she said hurriedly, "I'm just wondering why you're leaving so early."

Louis shrugged, attempting to come off as nonchalant. "I just decided that we should; he'll get to actually see the theatre before it gets full and stuff, you know?"

In his mind, he would have liked to think that he lied smoothly, though he knew better when it came to his mother.

She raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed, though she smiled faintly, "well, make sure you both are warm then and tell Harry to wear a beanie out, it's cold tonight."

Louis swallowed and nodded at her, thankful she hadn't questioned him any further. It wasn't as if he had a huge secret to keep from her, it was just that he wanted it to... remain private.

He hadn't been completely dishonest with her when he told her that he wanted them to leave a little earlier because he wanted to show Harry the theatre before it got full--- that was part of the truth.

Harry had been a bit sullen--- understandably--- ever since that damned letter had arrived and Louis knew it wasn't going to be as easy as pie to get him out of his shell but he was sure as hell going to try.

It really wasn't anything special, after all the theatre wasn't his to do with as he pleased so he had to work with what he had, even if it meant leaving over an hour earlier than he normally would.

"Ready?" Harry's voice snapped him out of his daydream.

Louis nodded, then looked up at Harry's head of curls, "mum said you should wear a beanie," he remembered.

"Oh," Harry reached into the thick coat pocket and pulled out a soft peach coloured beanie that he was sure belonged to Lottie. He pulled it over his head, a few curls peeking out from underneath once it was fitted.

He looked... cute.

Louis inhaled sharply at the thought and shook his head. Right. Enough of that.

"Let's go," he opened the door, not looking back at Harry until he walked out of the house and heard the front shut fully.

"My legs are giving me a bit of an issue today," Harry said conversationally as they lead the way to Roswell's theatre.

Louis glanced down at his boots and trousers then at Harry, "what's wrong with them? Do we need to stop? We could get a taxi, if you'd like to."

Harry smiled softly at him, shaking his head, "No, it's all right, I like walking anyways."

Louis stated at him dubiously, worry bubbling in his chest, "Harry..."

"Louis, I promise I will let you know when it's too much for me to handle," Harry said, his voice thick and assuring.

Louis hummed, still concerned but withheld any further commentary.

"So, why have we left so early then?" Harry asked him.

"Surprise," Louis smirked.

"I hate surprises," Harry mumbled.

At that, Louis panicked a bit, "wait, do you really?"

"Yes," he replied with but his eyes were on the ground and his dimples betrayed him.

"Right, sure," Louis said flatly, "its not much though, I promise."

"Well, thank you anyways,"

"You're welcome," he smiled at Harry, enjoying the fact that Harry was grinning too, big and bright and beautiful.

By the time they reached and Louis unlocked the door, they were both shivering.

"What the hell was that?" Harry asked, his hands rubbing over his covered arms.

"I call it a mini blizzard wave," Louis said, keeping his teeth from chattering as he closed the door, "the mountain gets the snow first and brings... like a little teaser, almost, towards us before the actual snow comes in."

"But it's September," Harry frowned.

Louis chuckled lowly, reaching towards the lightswitches. He clicked the main power upward and the theatre illuminated with light.

"We don't just have winter for three months here," he said non-committedly, both their gazes following the lights above them.

"Wow," Harry breathed out, turning around completely where the stage was.

There were seats on either side of them, red suede and black armrests. The stage itself wasn't the largest; golden wooden floor and slightly elevated with not as much of room between the front row of chairs and the edge of stage which initially scared Louis but he later found that it didn't really matter. The lights over the stage were a dull yellow and thick curtains were half opened over it, dark and rich burgundy in colour.

Overall, there wasn't much to it, many chairs were broken in some way or another, many lights flickered, the doors squeaked and the backstage area was much too dark more often than not but that was the beauty of it and Louis learned to love the dingy old theatre.

"Nothing too fancy," Louis said.

"I love it," Harry said, eyes twinkling almost in awe.

"Well, come on then," Louis beckoned him to follow. He led the way down the small cascade of stairs and then to the side where he opened another door with his set of keys to the backstage area.

He searched for the switch blindly over the wall, waiting for the pale yellow to light up to room before he walked in.

The backstage area was a messy place; there were props laying about, broken wood here and there, dusty floors, scattered chairs and poor lighting.

"It's lovely," Harry muttered.

Louis snorted, turning around to face the boy, "I would hardly call this place lovely."

Harry shrugged, his hands still stuffed into his pockets while his eyes scanned their vicinity, "I would," he said.

Louis hummed, frowning at him. Harry was... somewhat of an enigma. Every time Louis had thought he'd figured him out, Harry would surprise him in some way or another.

Like he'd said; he was full of surprises.

"That's a record player," Harry said with an excited breath, eyes fixed on the small record player at the corner of stage, right at the other side. The player was an off-gold and stood on shaky legs but it worked well enough for them to use.

Louis smiled, "just what I wanted to show you, actually."

"Really?" Harry looked at him, blinking twice.

"Yes, come on," he gestured for Harry to follow him to the other end. They walked across the stage, hidden behind a pair of curtains that brushed over their bodies as they stepped closer to the record player.

Louis bent down to fetch a few vinyls from underneath the player. He looked up at Harry, handing them over and feeling a rush to his chest when Harry beamed at his choice of music.

"Sinatra," Harry cheered, "your choice in literature may be abysmal but your music taste makes up for it, I suppose."

Once again, Harry had left Louis shocked and amused all at the same time. He gaped at the boy while he giggled at Louis' expression.

"Did you just call my taste in literature abysmal?" Louis got to his feet slowly, narrowing his eyes.

"It is what it is," Harry shrugged, his gaze moving to the vinyls in his hand, a small smug smile on his face, "Dinah Shore."

"A fan?"

Harry nodded, "one of the last songs I remember listening to was _Buttons and Bows_ ," his tone was nostalgic as he ran his fingers over the cover. There was a sad smile on his face as he did so.

Louis touched his wrist softly, his fingers coming to a stop over the cover. His eyes locked with Louis'.

"Do you want to play it?"

Harry considered it for a brief moment before agreeing, nodding once and handing it to Louis.

Louis gave him what he hoped was a comforting smile as he turned around to place the vinyl on the player. He clicked the player on and the disk started to spin, the silent theatre now filled with Dinah Shore's voice as she sang about buttons and bows.

Harry face lit up, watching Louis approach him with his poorly articulated dance moves. Clicking his fingers in front of him and shaking his shoulders. Louis wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish because Lord knew he could not dance whatsoever but it brought a smile on Harry's face so perhaps his foolery was worth it.

"What are you doing?" Harry laughed.

Louis gently grabbed the vinyls out of Harry's hand and placed them onto the floor, his hands extended outward, "dance with me."

"You're ridiculous," Harry laughed breathily as Louis took hold of his hand and swung it from side-to-side.

"This song is ridiculous," Louis chuckled, still moving every which way, hearing Harry's laughter ring through the music, "come on, Harry, dance with me."

Harry shook his head and let out a resigned sigh, his smile big. He moved a little, swaying his hips but his actions were dull.

"No," Louis whined. He pulled Harry closer and spun him around as the second song started.

"This is one is a bit too slow, no?" Harry asked, assessing Louis' much too fast moves for this song.

"Fine," Louis let out a dramatic sigh and stopped, stepping closer to Harry, "How do you suggest we dance to this one then?"

Harry bit his lip, answering quietly, "spin me again," he gestured down to their hands still cupped together.

Louis hadn't even realised that they were though now that he did, he felt a jolt of electricity pass through his spine.

"Sure," he replied shakily, stepping backwards and spinning him around again, stretching his arm above his head. As Harry stopped, he pulled Louis closer and did the same to him.

Louis laughed as Harry spun him around, "is this supposed to go with the music? Because I don't think it does," he said, coming to a stop in front of Harry again and smiling.

"Does it matter?"

"Only a little," Louis teased. Harry rolled his eyes, his smile still on his face even if it wasn't as big as before.

"Fine, how do you suggest we dance to this one then?" Harry asked as _Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy_ started to play.

Louis hummed in thought, tilting his head to the side before taking him by surprise and turning him around again, spinning him in circles.

Harry's boisterous laughter filled the theatre, his head thrown back as Louis stepped closer and his hands found their way over Louis' shoulders. They both breathed heavily, the song still playing from the record player but their eyes glued on one another's.

Louis felt a shiver and that jolt in his spine again, his stomach fluttering and throat dry. Harry's breath was heavy and warm and his eyes were wide and scared, searching Louis'.

There was a screech that pierced their ears then. Louis stepped away and held onto his ears, hissing, Harry copying his actions.

"The disk is scratched," Louis grumbled, moving towards the player and pulling the needle away promptly. He pulled out the vinyl and pushed it back into his case, his heart in his throat as he did so.

When he turned around Harry was sat against the back wall of the stage, right in front of the curtains, his face red and chest rising and falling rapidly. He looked anxious but not as though he couldn't breathe, just as if he were trying to control his breathing.

Louis approached him slowly, stepping into the darkness and sitting down next to Harry, keeping a respectable amount of distance between them. He watched Harry closely, seeing his pink cheeks, feeling the heat radiating off of him, his knees drawn to his chest with his elbows perched over his knee-caps.

"Harry," he started slowly, cautiously, "I'm so---"

"I don't know what I am," he blurted out, voice raw and rough.

Louis inhaled sharply, the realisation hitting him.

He knew Harry needed to talk through things and he knew that Harry speaking to him may not be the best idea. Louis didn't know how to give anyone a talk of any kind. Ms. Allen had done it for him, so by suggesting her to Harry, he figured it may help the boy too. He seemed marginally better after their talk though, so Louis assumed that it had worked.

He could see bits and pieces of himself in Harry when the boy spoke to him that night. He was scared and nervous and felt like the whole world was against him. That look in Harry's eyes; Louis felt it right to his very core.

"It's not what you are, Harry, it's _who_ you are," he said gently, "and you don't have to call yourself anything you're not sure about yet, all you have to do is just be who you are."

"I was supposed to tell him," Harry said, as if Louis hadn't even said anything. In any other circumstance, Louis would have been left annoyed at that but he let Harry continue, knowing the boy had more to say. "My father---- my last memory was of me at our library and I was supposed to tell him what--- who--- I really am."

A tear fell down his cheek that he quickly wiped away with the side of his thumb. "I'd told Rose before when I fancied our neighbour, but she told me that it was wrong and my father wouldn't be happy about it and I was just a child at the time so I didn't know any better--- I still don't. But, Louis, I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to tell him and now I don't know if I did. I don't know what happened after that. Maybe he kicked me out of the house, maybe I ran away, maybe it eventually got too overwhelming for me to handle and I tried to end my life at sea."

Louis' heart thumped wildly, "Harry," he chastised, "hey, look at me."

Harry looked at Louis, his eyes a shiny red, his rims welled with tears. Louis' heart broke a little more. He took a deep breath, "whoever it is that you are, just know that I accept you for that, nothing will change and I know my family will too; to them you aren't wrong, you're just being who you are."

Harry sniffed, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat, eyes still locked with Louis', "I was supposed to speak to Ms. Allen about this too but I didn't--- I couldn't."

"That's okay," Louis gave him a reassuring smile, "look, whatever it is you're going through right now, I promise you I'll be there for you."

Harry smiled back, even though it was a weak one, it was reassuring enough for Louis' heart to calm down a little.

"I told her that I'm scared," Harry confessed, his eyes on the floor now, eyeing the piece of broken wood in front of him, "I don't know what to do from here on out and I feel like I'm taking advantage of you all."

Louis sighed, "I don't know what to say to you about that anymore except that you're not, at all, we love having you at our home and you're helping out now as well and as for what to do from here..." Louis cleared his throat, adding it quietly, "maybe you could start over here."

Harry's head shot to his direction, "she said the same thing--- or well, something similar at least."

Louis nodded, not finding it hard to believe that she would say something like that.

"I don't have anything left back in Edendale," Harry said, his voice raspy, "even if I were to go back, I would have nowhere to go."

Louis looked at the side of his head, briefly admiring the sharpness of his jaw and cheekbones.

"My head feels like it's going to explode," he admitted with a small chuckle.

Louis' lips twitched upward, "I can only imagine what you're going through right now."

Harry bit his lip and turned to Louis again, "what do you think my father would have said if I was truly honest with him like I had meant to be?"

"There's no point dwelling on the past and the 'could haves', trust me, I've learnt from that," Louis answered carefully, "maybe you did tell him, maybe you didn't, but you probably won't know now and I know that it's scary but you'll have to accept that he isn't here anymore--- you won't get a do- over with that--- but you can move forward, and the first step is to be honest with yourself."

He hoped he wasn't too reckless or blunt with his answers because he had a tendency to speak that way.

"With Lance?" He asked.

Louis frowned, arching his brow at him.

"You said that you've learnt that--- did you mean with Lance?" He clarified.

"Yes," Louis replied honestly, "it took me a while but I'm much better now than I ever was before--- even with him."

"Really?" Harry asked, tone surprised.

"Yes," he said again, "as much as we loved each other, I don't think he was meant to stay in my life--- at least, not for long--- and I see that now."

"Huh," Harry breathed out quietly, "I don't miss him much, you know? My father--- I weeped for him at first but--- but I think it was more because I was scared of having nowhere to go back to than missing him per sé."

"What makes you say that?" Louis asked curiously.

"When I think of him now, my heart doesn't ache for his presence, only for his answers. I'm not sure why I hold his opinion of me so highly above myself even though I can't even miss him much as a father," he revealed.

Louis processed his statement and nodded slowly, "well, perhaps it's because he is your father after all, isn't he? We all seek our parents approval for things."

Harry was silent then, eyes unblinking, then: "what about your father?"

Louis felt an ugly black hatred form at his belly, "he left us a while ago while my sisters and I were still young and I haven't seen him since then."

The answer was robotic, his emotions were void from his features and he was well aware of that. Louis despised the man and that was never going to change.

"Oh," Harry said, "I'm sorry."

"It's all right," he shook his head, "I am sorry about your father, Harry, truly."

Harry nodded, "thank you, though I miss Dandelion a lot more than I do him."

"Dandelion was the cow, yes?"

Louis remembered how fondly Harry spoke of her every time he mentioned his home. Now that Louis thought about it, he had mentioned her more than he'd mentioned his own father.

"Yes," Harry smiled, "I don't know what happened to her," his smile faded, "I miss her terribly."

"I'm sure wherever she is, she knows that,"

Louis wasn't sure what else to say to the boy. He didn't know where Dandelion could be. For all they knew, she could have passed like his father but the thought curdled his stomach. He hadn't known the cow at all but the thought of yet another thing upsetting Harry brought him great discomfort.

"Tell me about her," Louis said.

"She liked cornbread," Harry grinned, letting out a small laugh, "and apples."

"Together?"

"Yes," Harry laughed again. Louis smiled.

"Preposterous," Louis scoffed playfully.

"She was a bit odd," Harry lifted his one shoulder in a shrug, "Maybe that's why I liked her so much."

Then there was silence between the two again, an apology still sat heavy on his Louis' chest.

"Harry, I still have to apologise for just now, I took it too far and I didn't s--- "

"Don't apologise for that, Lou. That's the most fun I've had in a very long time," Harry smiled wryly, his cheeks darkening in pink, "I liked dancing with you--- you made it fun."

Lou. Huh, Louis liked the way Harry said it.

"Oh," Louis felt his own cheeks grow in warmth, "well, I'm glad then."

"Harry," Louis said again.

Harry looked at him, "Yes?"

"Do you want a hug?"

Much to Louis' surprise, Harry leaped in and hugged Louis, his arms wrapped around Louis' waist and face hidden into his shoulder. Louis ignored his rapid heart rate and hugged him back, tightening his arms around his shoulders.

He smelt amazing; floral hints mixed with something a bit more rustic. Louis pushed the thought away. No one smelt someone else. It wasn't as if he had done it on purpose. Harry's... scent was just overpowering.

"Thank you," Harry mumbled against him. Louis felt his breath tickle over the exposed skin on his neck. He shuddered, hoping it wasn't too obvious to Harry.

"You don't need to thank me," Louis said, still embracing him, "you'll be okay, Harry."

Harry let out a heavy exhale, the warmth of his breath again hitting his skin where he could feel goosebumps erupt slowly.

"I will," he muttered, sounding more like he was convincing himself than replying to Louis.

And Louis wholeheartedly believed that he would. There was a hope that bloomed in his chest and in his heart. He wasn't sure what it was for but he knew it was good.

The rest of Louis' co-workers started to pile in shortly after their intimate embrace. Harry watched Louis work as he set up the stage and props with a twinkle in his eyes.

It was safe to say he looked happier than minutes ago and that made Louis happy too.

The play carried into the late hours of the night. Harry was enthralled by the performance and insisted that he come and watch it again before they finish.

Louis promised him that by the end of the week, he would bring him back as the play would only run for just over a week.

And as they walked home, their bodies shivering but laughter keeping them warm, Louis realised that it had been a long time since he had felt so happy.

***

It was two afternoons later when they had went to a second-hand clothing store to buy some new--- as new as can be--- clothes for Harry. Louis wasn't needed at the theatre that afternoon so he accompanied Harry.

Harry, being as stubborn as always, insisted that he buy the clothes with his own crisp cheque to spend.

It wasn't enough for much, maybe a trousers and two or so shirts but he refused to budge, so, with a resigned sigh, they walked to the shop nearby where they got most of their own clothes.

Perhaps Mrs. Cole could offer them a discount for being such loyal customers.

The shop door opened with the ring of a bell above, a smokey, earthy scent immediately hitting his nose. Louis found himself sniffing the air for a bit more of the smell, finding it oddly satisfying.

"Mr. Tomlinson," Mrs. Cole's--- or Maya, as she'd always insist he call her--- loud, raspy voice greeted.

Louis smiled at her, watching the dimples indent her warm, dark skin, "Maya," he greeted back.

She engulfed him into a hug, swaying him a bit before patting his back and pulling away. Her amber eyes landed on Harry next. "You must be Harry," she said.

Louis arched his brows at her.

She waved his quizzical gaze off, "word spreads fast around here, you know this by now."

She was right; most of the town, if not all, knew who Harry was by now but none of them really cared enough to do anything other than gossip about the boy.

"Nice to meet you," Harry greeted, ever so politely extending his hand out to her.

Maya, unlike Ms. Allen, knew the meaning of personal space and boundaries so she accepted the handshake with a friendly smile.

"Likewise," she said, then with her hands on her hips she glanced between the two boys, "how can I help you boys?"

"Um... clothes, I guess," Harry said, confused pinch to his brows.

Maya chuckled and Louis smiled mirthfully. "I like him," she said with a wink at Harry, "anything specific at all?"

"We'll browse so long, if that's all right," Louis answered before Harry could.

"Sure, you just shout out if you need me, I'll be at the counter," she gestured to the light brown desk at the right corner of the shop.

"Sure, thank you," Louis said.

She gave him a courteous nod and smile to them both before walking to her desk.

"So, shall we browse then?" Louis turned to Harry again, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets.

"Yes, please," he grinned, copying Louis' actions except into a cardigan-- the cardigan.

The shop wasn't too big but it wasn't too small either. There was tacky, green and cream wallpaper over the walls of the shop, a few railings in the middle and some covering the horrible wallpaper and two dressing rooms towards the back, old curtains closing off the small cubicles.

Of course that didn't mean there was a lack of items to choose from; from fur tops, to suede jackets and crocodileskin boots, you name it, Maya had it.

Which made it all the more difficult for Harry to choose and all the agonising for Louis to wait while he did so.

Louis loved fashion, but he did not have patience.

"Harry, you've been looking at the same two shirts for the past ten minutes now," he said pointedly, huffing.

Harry frowned, "well they both look good and I haven't got enough money for both of them."

"Then let me---"

"No,"

Louis huffed again, "it's only a shirt, Harry," he said softly this time, "You can buy me one the next time."

Harry chewed at his bottom lip, his ears turning a dull pink, "I don't have to get both..."

"Just allow me to buy the one--- this one, at least," he grabbed the long-sleeve navy blue shirt from his hand, his eyes pleading.

"All right," Harry finally sighed in defeat, "but only this once because I feel horrible for still using your clothes."

"Deal," Louis said easily.

He didn't mind Harry using his clothes honestly, he didn't even notice half of the time--- that was how used to it he was by now. But, if it got them out of the shop quicker then so be it.

They weren't in a rush to go anywhere, not really, but he did also promise Harry a small tour of their town. Although Harry had seen pretty much half of it by now, there was still a whole other half that remained unseen.

He wanted to take him to past the cinema, to the Hogs and Horses Pub, the salon where Lottie was taking an interest in applying at now, Dr. Carlson's office --- even if it wasn't opened anymore, it was still worth seeing as the architecture was wonderful outside the small building and so much more.

Maya did not give them a discount but she did throw in a free belt that Harry endearingly felt ecstatic about.

"That was so kind of her," he said, grinning widely, examining the black leather in his hands, "everyone is so kind here."

"That's Makenshire for ya," Louis shrugged.

That was far from the truth of course. Sure, everyone seemed all nice and polite until they found one thing about you that they didn't particularly like and then suddenly you were an outcast, a shamble, a disgrace--- whatever it may be that they didn't approve of.

Small town filled with narrow-minded people. Big world filled with narrow-minded people, Louis was sure.

But, he didn't want to shatter that illusion for Harry, who still seemed fairly naive to the world around him. It was one of the few things that looked optimistic to him at the moment and Louis wasn't about to take that away.

Harry had been through a lot. After their emotional talk at the theatre, Louis hadn't pressed about anything further, not wanting to cross any boundaries between them, but he did feel something shift in Harry afterwards.

He was much more... happier, it seemed. There was a smile on his face now more often than a frown like before, his eyes twinkled and dimples popped and he had been spending more time with Louis too.

Even though it had been only two days, he had spent the nights after dinner chatting to Louis about his day at the bakery, the crazy or interesting, sometimes rude, customers he had encountered, the new names of pastries or cakes he hadn't known before, more about literature and theatre and animals and it was safe to say that Louis could listen to him talk for days even if some of the things that he had said didn't make any sense to Louis and sounded ridiculous all on its own.

It was just something about the way he did it--- the way he did most things, really--- their was a certain passion and energy that radiated off of him and was fairly contagious.

Louis also found that he was smiling more often than not around Harry too.

"Do you think I should have gotten a jacket and trousers instead of two tops and a trousers?" Harry asked as they took a stroll towards the pub.

"Nonsense, you can pair those tops excellently with the cardigan," he smirked at the tawny-coloured cardigan over his body.

"It is quite warm," Harry hummed.

"You're not feeling too cold in only that, are you?" Louis asked, the thought only dawning upon him now that the cardigan was probably not the warmest thing to wear in this weather.

"No," he shook his head, "I'm wearing a vest, a top, a jersey and this cardigan," he pointed out.

And really, the combination of the white top peeking out from chest, the dark green jersey and tawny-coloured cardigan should have looked ridiculous on anyone else but for some godforsaken reason, he pulled it off.

"Right," Louis mumbled, feeling slightly envious.

"Where are we going now?" Harry asked.

"To the pub a few minutes away," Louis said, nodding his head to the pathway in front of them.

Just then, a cracking sound of thunder erupted above them. Their heads snapped up to the sky, steps coming to a halt.

"Oh no," Harry exhaled, "now what?" He turned to Louis.

Louis let out an exasperated sigh, "We'll have to head home since its a shorter walk back home."

"Oh," Harry pouted, "Well, it's okay, you can show me around another time and we'll still get to go on Saturday night for Macbeth again, remember?"

Louis smiled in spite of his dulled mood.

"You're right," he said, "let's head back for now then; I'm in the mood for a cuppa."

Harry smiled slowly, "sounds perfect," he agreed.

Feeling slightly disappointed, Louis and Harry headed back home. But, Harry was right, they could always do it another time. Harry seemed to be becoming a more permanent part of their lives now after all. The thought excited him even if he did feel a little guilty for thinking that way, especially knowing how sad Harry was to lose his home.

Still, this was a new beginning, maybe not just for Harry. Maybe that's what excited Louis the most.

***

At home after their cuppa and biscuits, they sat on the carpet on the living room with the fire crackling beside them and playing cards in their hands as the rain poured outside.

They were playing a round of poker with Lottie, Daisy and Phoebe, Louis trying to teach Harry how to play as well.

It wasn't going too well.

"Wait, but you don't have any good cards at all," Harry frowned, glancing at Louis' hands grabbing the fistful of toffees from the middle into his bowl.

"It's called bluffing," Louis said, popping one toffee into his mouth.

"Surely that's considered cheating,"

Louis laughed and Daisy snorted next to him. "Darling, it's how you play the game," Louis huffed.

"That's not fair--- that's lying," Harry whined, crossing his arms over his chest.

Louis sighed, taking pity on him. He moved closer to Harry until he was sitting next to him, backs against the sofa, "what did you have?"

Harry turned over his folded cards.

"Harry, you could have won," Louis gasped, seeing that he a royal fucking flush, "You could have won by a long shot."

"You made it seem like you had better cards," he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Love, a royal flush is the highest suit you can get," Louis said, his lips pulled into a an amused smile. He couldn't help it. He also couldn't help but notice the deep blush forming over his cheeks.

"Oh," Harry glanced down at his cards again.

"It's okay," Louis laid a careful hand over his back and rubbed over the expanse of it twice, "You get better with practice."

"It's true," Daisy chimed in, pushing herself off the carpet and dusting off her pants, "took Louis a good few months to actually beat Lots."

"Hey," Louis complained amongst their giggles, "I was a natural."

"As hopeless as me?" Harry offered with a sly smile.

"Not a chance," Louis snorted, pushing himself up too and giving Harry's hair a quick ruffle.

"Louis,"

Louis turned to his right where his mother stood, right outside the kitchen.

"Come help me in the kitchen for a bit," she said. Her eyes were scanning his face, almost narrowing and suspicious. Louis was confused.

"Um," he passed his sisters a look that returned; perplexed.

"I'll help you," Harry said, already getting up.

"No, no, hon," she said quickly, "You sit, you've been helping me--- let Louis do somethin'."

"Oh," Harry glanced between the two then resigned back onto the carpet, "all right."

She gave him a small smile before retreating into the kitchen, leaving a thick layer of awkward, confused tension between them.

"I'll be back," Louis muttered, following her into the kitchen.

She was hovering over the stove, stirring what smelt like a pot of lamb stew.

"Attempting Harry's stew then?" Louis asked, unsure as to where to start with this conversation. He knew she called him in for that much. But, the air felt... odd.

"Just my own," she said, closing the pot and turning around to face him. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at him as if she were trying to get something out of him.

"What is it?" Louis frowned.

"You're fond of him," she stated plainly.

Louis felt his heart rate increase, "Well, he's a kind person and I enjoy his company, yes."

"Louis," she deadpanned, "I'm your mother, I know when you're smitten."

"Mum," Louis sighed tiredly, "where are you going with this?"

"Louis, you shouldn't," she sighed, sounding just as tired.

"Why not?"

So, he may have been a bit more than fond of the boy but it wouldn't matter because Harry had his own issues to deal with than Louis being 'smitten' with him. It was no big deal--- nothing he really pondered over because it was nothing, really.

But, being confronted like this wasn't something he appreciated.

"Because, Louis, he has so much going on," she said, her tone gentle but firm, "he hasn't even figured himself out yet."

"It's not like I'm going to force myself on him," Louis countered, feeling himself getting worked up.

"I'm not saying you are," she squinted at him, "I'm just saying he doesn't need that on top of everything else that's going on."

Louis bit the inside of his cheek, "I don't even know how he feels--- I wouldn't do anything if he didn't feel the same way."

"So you do feel something for him,"

"I--- something," Louis confirmed, "nothing I will act nor linger upon, all right? I--- it's nothing, ma."

"Hon, I could see it without you or him even having to say anything," she said dryly, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well, unsee it then," Louis said, "like you said, he has a lot going on as is."

"He does," she agreed, uncrossing her arms and stepping towards him, "I just don't want you to get hurt again, that's all."

Her hands cupped his face, eyes sorrowful and lips trembling.

"Ma, it's nothing," he croaked out, the sight of his mother close to tears brought him close to tears too, "I'll be fine--- we both will be fine, yes?"

She pulled him into a hug, squeezing his shoulders, "I know it may seem as if I'm overreacting but I just _don't_ want to see you hurt again," she pulled away, staring at him with her wet cheeks and eyes, "I've been at war and yet the thing that breaks my heart the most is seeing you sad."

Louis let a tear fall now, hugging her again, "ma, nothing is happening, okay?" He croaked out again, "You have to trust both of us--- we won't hurt each other regardless."

"Okay," she nodded and pulled away again, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands, "just be careful with your heart, please."

Louis smiled weakly, "I already am and yet---"

"Yet you still are fond of him," she completed his sentence.

Louis shrugged helplessly, "I only fancy the person he is--- nothing wrong with that, is there?"

She smiled weakly back at him, "I suppose not."

"I'll give him the space he needs, ma," Louis promised, "the ball is his court."

She let out a long sigh, "I know," she squeezed his arms and walked back to the stove, "just be careful."

"I know," he said.

She gave him a short nod and turned around to lift the lid off the pot and tend to the stew again.

Louis wiped the underneath of his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before joining his sisters and Harry back in the living room again.

Harry was sitting on the same spot when Louis left but Daisy and Phoebe were on either side of him this time, front and back--- Daisy tugging at his hair to pull into a braid and Phoebe teaching him that hand game that she and Daisy always do--- the one with the baker's man.

They laughed when Harry couldn't get the clapping right again, Lottie now sitting on the couch adjacent and watching them with an amused look on her face.

Harry smiled brightly, his dimples denting his cheeks and eyes shining. In all the literature and poetry he had read in his lifetime, none could come close to describe how beautiful Harry looked.

Louis had to remind himself: it was nothing.

***

The smell of the bakery was intoxicating. Louis had just eaten and was relatively full, yet he found himself salivating over the various cakes and pastries on display.

The buttery smell was too hard for anyone to ignore--- it explained why this bakery was doing so well. Simply going past the little store would pull you in, the smells being mouth-wateringly pungent.

"Louis,"

Louis looked up at Harry and smiled, "hello."

"You're early," Harry said, turning around to glance at the clock then back at Louis, "I thought we're leaving to the show at five thirty."

"We are, we are. I just thought I'd come to visit you and get some of that apple crumble--- you do have it, I hope?"

Harry smiled but it was sheepish and apologetic, his eyebrows downturned, "just sold the last bit, actually, I'm sorry," he ended with a pout.

Louis groaned, his body sagging, "I was promised a piece," he huffed, knowing he sounded like a child at the moment.

Harry smirked. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Julia's squeaky voice cut through their conversation.

"If it isn't Louis Tomlinson making a scene in my bakery, I should have known," she shook her head, hands on her hips and a playfully disapproving look on her face.

Louis grinned at her, "hello, Julia," he greeted her. She walked around the counter and hugged Louis tightly.

"Long time no see, Louis," Julia said as she pulled away.

"Been a bit busy," Louis shrugged.

"Taking care of this 'un, I believe," she cocked her head in Harry's direction.

Louis felt heat rush to his cheeks. He glanced at Harry to see him smiling down at the cash register.

"Um, partly, I suppose," he chuckled nervously.

"Oh, don't go all coy on me! Harry's already told me about how good you've been to him," she winked.

If Louis looked closely, it may have just seemed suggestive. He rid himself of any further thoughts.

Ever since his talk with his mother, Louis had been paranoid about how he acted around Harry, especially when his mum was around.

Louis knew he liked the boy, he acknowledged the crush he had on him. But, he always shrugged it off because to him, that was all it was: a crush, for God's sake.

If it was apparent to people then Louis wasn't sure how much of a crush it was anymore. It was further than that now. A crush would be simple; he had had them before and got over them too.

However, now, Louis was beginning to rethink everything.

"They have helped me a lot," Harry mumbled, cheeks pink as he counted some of the cash from the register.

"So you've said," Julia hummed. She turned back to Louis, "any reason for your visit today? Lottie isn't working tonight."

"Um, well, I was promised some apple crumble," Louis sighed dramatically.

"Oh, dear, we just sold our last piece,"

"So I've heard," Louis looked at Harry, eyes shining mirthfully.

Harry snorted, rolled his eyes and turned around. He bent down, disappearing from Louis' view momentarily before popping back up.

"I'll go get the Hungarian tart to replace the apple crumble," Harry said to Julia.

She nodded and Harry passed Louis a smile before vanishing past the back door.

"He's very lovely," Julia said, a fond smile on her face, "always willing, always helping, always smiling--- everyone just falls in love with him, I swear," she chuckled.

Louis grinned back. He knew that much about Harry.

"He's just..." She trailed off, leaving an unsaid word in the air.

"Charming?" Louis offered easily.

Her eyes twinkled, a slow smile spreading across her face.

"Right," she nodded, "Charming."

Again, Louis sensed a suggestive undertone to her voice and her features but he bit his tongue and cleared his throat instead.

"I'll just take a seat here then, if that's okay?" Louis asked her.

"Of course," she moved aside and gestured to the small tables behind her.

There weren't many, only about four, seating four people at each table maximum.

"Can I get you anything?" She asked as he sat down on the metal chair. It was cold and hard but he stayed sitting down anyways.

"Uh, a cuppa would be lovely,"

"On it's way," she winked at him again, that twinkle still shone dimly in her eyes.

Julia wasn't left in the dark regarding Louis and his... preferences, if you will. She hadn't said anything to Louis about it and neither did Louis to her but she had seen Louis and Lance before, in situations that were not deemed as platonic.

At first, Louis was scared that she would ban him from the bakery or even worse, his family, but surprised him when she simply hugged him after the first time she had seen them together at the park.

Still, nothing had been said. Louis wasn't sure how to feel about that to this day. He counted his blessings though, because he knew she could have done the worst and yet she hadn't.

"Lou,"

Lou. There it was again.

"Your tea," Harry placed the cup on the table, in front of Louis.

"Thanks," Louis smiled, taking a tentative sip of it and humming in approval, "you made it, didn't you?"

Harry scoffed, "as if I would ever let anyone else make it," he said.

Louis ignored the way his chest tightened at the words.

"Do you need any help?" Louis offered.

"I think I'm okay, Louis," Harry said, "are you just going to wait here for me for an hour then?"

"As if I would be anywhere else," Louis scoffed back.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. He took two steps backwards, "tell me if you need anything then, yes?"

"I will,"

Harry smiled one last time then went back to his place behind the cash register.

Louis sighed, looking down at the steam emitting from the hot, copper liquid.

So, he was fond of the boy but it was nothing. That was his conclusion so far. Somehow, he doubted that that conclusion was good enough for his stubborn mind. Nevertheless, it would have to do. Louis had no control over this situation, not when he knew Harry was still confused about things himself.

He picked up the cup again and took another slow sip, appreciating the warmth it spread down to his stomach.

A few more customers visited the bakery during the hour Louis was there and of course Harry was great with all of them. He could see what Julia meant now, by how he gets everyone to just fall in love with him.

There were a few faces from the town that Louis had only glanced at before whereas Harry was laughing and joking around with them now. It seemed like he was growing quite popular amongst everyone.

"I see you've made friends with Charles and Irene then," Louis said to Harry as they walk out the bakery.

Harry nodded, tightening a thick coat around his body and running a hand through his growing hair, touselling the curls.

"Yes, he's George's brother," Harry said, sounding genuinely... happy about it, "he has twins, two sons and they're lovely too but I have yet to meet George's daughter."

"George? Which George?"

"The one who works on the boat,"

"Oh, fisherman George," Louis realised, "yeah, how old is she now, I wonder."

"He said she's five," Harry said with a beaming smile, "and that he would bring her one of the days 'cause she loves jam tarts."

"Jam," Louis wrinkled his nose in distaste for the sugary preserve, "not a big fan."

"God, you're horrible," Harry grumbled next to him.

"Hey," Louis pushed his shoulder playfully, "when are you going to stop insulting my tastes?"

"When they get better," Harry smirked, increasing his pace so that he walked a few steps ahead of Louis. He looked over his shoulder at Louis--- who was still surprised at how cheeky Harry could be--- and grinned, "come on then, hurry up."

Louis let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head before catching up with the boy. The newfound confidence in him was undoubtedly attractive. Everyday Louis was beginning to see more and more of him stepping out of his shell and it sure as hell wasn't doing anything regarding his 'crush' on the boy.

Louis was so fucking screwed.

Harry waited while Louis and the crew set up, occasionally helping out here and there but most of Louis' co-workers insisted that he didn't need to. Even Louis' co-workers were so... whipped, to put it lightly. And he had only met them twice.

Maybe Harry had some sort of power or potion he used to enchant people. He couldn't possibly have so many people wrapped around his finger. Even Julia seemed to adore him.

At the same time, when Louis looked at him, like really looked at him, it wasn't hard to understand why.

He was just as Julia said, charming and he was kind, humble, always willing to lend a helping hand, smiling constantly, especially as of recently--- maybe it wasn't too hard to understand why Louis had fancied the boy more than he could even comprehend.

Curse his mother for actually pointing it out because now he couldn't bloody ignore it anymore.

"Why are you huffing and puffing?" Harry asked, cocking his head to the side with a whimsical smile.

He sat against a wall near the old record player, a few cases scattered in front of him and a Sinatra one in his hand.

"Just... a difficult job," Louis said.

"Screwing in a lightbulb?" He arched a brow at Louis, crossing his legs.

"Harder than it looks," Louis mumbled, embarrassed. He twisted the metal end of the glass bulb into the groves of the wall light fitting.

"Well, can I help you out then?" He asked, getting up from the floor.

Louis felt his toes and fingers tingle as Harry approached, already feeling his warmth and overall presence. Louis tried to keep his eyes on the job at hand but it was hard to do when Harry stood so close to him, smelling all warm and buttery and smiling so brightly with those damn dimples and----

"Ow, fuck!" Louis jumped back, holding onto his fingers tightly.

"Oh my god, Louis," Harry grabbed his arm and inspected the angry red on his fingertips.

"Shit," Louis cursed.

"Hold still," Harry pulled Louis' fingers closer to his lips and blew over them gently.

Louis watched him, unable to look anywhere else. Harry inspected them so carefully, gently prodding Louis' middle finger, causing Louis to hiss.

"Sorry," he said, "we need to run it under some cold water."

"Bathroom then?"

"Yeah," Harry murmured, his eyes still glued onto Louis' glowing red three fingers and pinch between his brows.

Harry was the one who led the way to the bathroom off the side of the stage, his hand still firmly holding Louis', as they walked side-by-side, up to his face.

"Are you okay, Louis?" Mia, one of Louis' co-workers, asked him as Louis and Harry walked down the stage stairs.

"He got zapped," Harry explained, now blowing over Louis' fingers again, eyes still not moving.

Zapped. Louis smiled.

"Oh," she frowned, "I'm sorry, do you want someone else to sort out the lights then?"

"I'll be fine to---"

"Yes, please," Harry cut him off.

Louis gaped at him. He was about to tell Mia that he didn't need anyone else to take over but Harry was already pulling him towards the bathrooms again.

"Harry," he scolded lightly, "it's barely a burn, I can still do my job."

"It's actually burnt, Lou," Harry stopped to open the door. Once they both stepped inside, Harry pushed Louis' fingers to his face, "look."

The tips of his fingers were turning darker, almost a mauve colour.

"Oh,"

"Yes, oh," Harry pulled his hand again, this time towards the dingy sink.

The tap squeaked opened, jerking out water before it ran smoothly. Louis' fingers were underneath the cold water instantly.

Louis hissed, "it's cold!"

"Well, it has to be," Harry held his hand firmly while the cold of the water numbed his fingers in sharp shards over his skin.

It felt like forever that his fingers were being iced by the water. When he finally closed the tap, he took the small towel from beside the sink and, instead of handing it to Louis, he wiped Louis' fingers delicately, dabbing it and then wrapping the towel around it.

"Just hold it there for a few minutes,"

Louis was still stunned to speak much so he just nodded, blinking twice, still comprehending what was happening.

"I thought you were joking when you said screwing on a light bulb was difficult," Harry giggled softly, like he was talking to himself more than anything.

"Yeah, well," Louis huffed in reply.

He couldn't say to Harry that the reason why he got himself shocked was because he was so distracted by Harry's... being, he didn't concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing in the first place.

"All right, grumpy," Harry laughed.

"I'm sorry, just embarrassing," Louis murmured, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Harry grinned, "let me see," he grabbed Louis' hand again, this time slower and gentler.

Suddenly, Harry was even further into his space. It felt like every part of him was engulfed by heat and warmth and Louis felt dizzy. His eyes were focused on Harry's parted, pink lips then Harry's eyes met his.

Unintentionally, Louis started to lean more forward, then Harry did too. He moved with hesitancy, slower than Louis did, until their lips were barely an eyelash length apart. His heart was beating in his throat, Harry's gaze intense and set on his, captivating him completely.

"Louis," the door burst opened, causing Louis and Harry to stumble away from each other.

"Louis, play will start any minute, you sure you want me to take over?" Mike, a bleach blonde boy asked him, oblivious to what he had just walked into.

"Um, yeah I think so," Louis said, clearing his throat.

"All right, good luck with that then," he glanced down at Louis' hand that was still wrapped up clumsily in the small towel.

In an instant, he was gone again and Louis was left with Harry once more. Harry, who was against a wall, his gaze fixed onto his shoes and arms crossed over his chest, almost as if he was caging himself in.

And fuck. Fuck. He had just started to ease out of the damn cage of his, he couldn't crawl back in, not now. He was doing so, so well and Louis had to go and fuck it up.

"Harry," Louis approached the boy cautiously, "Harry, I'm---- I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to do that--- I wasn't th---"

"Louis, it's okay," he interrupted him with a soft tone and small voice, eyes still down and glued onto the cracked yellow tiles, "we should head out before the show starts," he added.

Louis held in a sigh, nodding at him, "all right, let's go," he stepped aside for Harry to lead the way again.

He didn't.

Louis didn't want to push him either.

So, Louis led the way this time, feeling Harry's presence behind him but not as strongly as he was merely minutes ago. Louis wanted to pull his hair out.

He pulled off the towel instead and threw it onto a stray chair backstage while Harry went back to his place near the corner, fiddling with the different vinyls again quietly.

Louis sighed and went back to work, making sure his hand was dry and concentrating as much as he could on doing the job right this time.

Although now, it was proving to be difficult for different reasons.

They were so close, Louis could feel almost a magnetic pull from Harry and he was afraid of how strong it had gotten.

Louis could still feel his bones tingle and he wasn't sure if it was from the shock of electricity or from the shock of what had almost happened between him and Harry.


	6. VI: Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter seven will be later today!

The whole 'starting over' thing was very hard.

He was trying, he really was and honestly, some days he felt like that was it, that was his new beginning and it would only look brighter from there but then something would happen and spring onto him off guard, pushing him off the pathway and into a cold, dark forest.

He hated having any sort of discomfort with or around Louis because that was not what Louis was. He had always felt so warm and welcoming and comforting and safe and on and on and on.

Discomfort, anxiousness, fear--- those things were far off from who Louis really was but Harry knew he had no one to blame but himself.

After the night at the theatre, things were tense between them again, even worse than after the market.

Harry avoided Louis. Louis avoided Harry.

They would tiptoe around each other, their conversations stoic and awkward and meetings brief and abrupt.

Louis hadn't walked with him to the bakery or from the bakery again nor did he do that with Lottie anymore so it must have seemed all right with the rest of them. Besides, Lottie had apparently found herself a fella now that she had been really fond of. A boy that occasionally worked with her during her shifts at Julia's.

Having Louis avoid him and vice versa was difficult. All Harry wanted to do was talk to Louis, tell him about his day, listen to Louis talk about his, heck, even just being in his vicinity would be lovely.

Now, Louis would leave for work early in the morning, at the crack of dawn, and arrive back close to midnight sometimes.

Harry listened closely from underneath the thick blanket as the front door would squeak open and close, the fridge making a rumble when he opened it to search for something to eat and then his heavy footsteps that carried him up the stairs.

It had only been a week and yet it felt like an eternity. Harry wanted to go up to him more than anything and apologise; apologise for how he'd reacted, why he had done it in the first place.

Truthfully, he still wasn't quite sure why or how it even happened. Well, almost happened.

One minute he was tending to Louis' burns and the next he was being pulled automatically towards Louis, his lips reaching out as if it were instinctive to touch Louis'.

He was scared, there was no doubt about that.

He had almost kissed a boy for Pete's sake. It had gone against everything he had grown up believing and yet, to him, what was only a month and a half ago, he was ready to declare himself a sinner to his father.

Harry still couldn't explain what he had felt for Louis though. It was something that had felt so... inevitable, to be near him, around him, with him.

Every time he was close to Louis, or if Louis smiled, laughed, worked--- anything really--- he would feel that swoop whoosh through his stomach, causing his heart to beat rapidly against his ribcage and palms to sweat.

There was a mountain of regret that formed at the very pit of his stomach. A part of him scolded himself for not even getting to... touch Louis' lips with his own and the other part scolded him for what he was doing to not only Louis but himself too.

How long was he going to keep himself locked up? When, really, nothing held him back anymore besides his own mind.

He saw the hurt in Louis' eyes, the apprehensiveness when he even came close to Harry, the guilt--- it was too much. He had nothing to be sorry about, or nervous about, because he was so brave.

Louis had stood proudly with his then lover who was definitely not a female, despite what other people had to say, because he... because he cared for him, he liked him--- loved him.

Harry cared for Louis. Deeply so. Harry knew Louis cared for him too.

But his head felt so jumbled still.

"Hello, Harry,"

Harry turned around to find Lottie standing at the threshold of the room door.

"Hello," he smiled, "come in."

She smiled back and happily sat herself down at the foot of the bed, legs crossed and arms resting over her knees.

"The dreamcatcher looks nice up there," she nodded towards the tiny dreamcatcher being held up by various pieces of tape.

"Thanks," Harry smiled proudly, leaning against the wall, being careful not to knock the dreamcatcher.

"I see you and my brother have being ignoring each other again then," she said, bluntly at that.

Harry almost choked on his spit. Right to it then. All right.

"Um," he cleared his throat, unsure about what to say.

"Boys," Lottie rolled her eyes and huffed, "ma was right, you're all so insufferable."

"Hey," Harry frowned.

"Well, it's true," she said flatly, "now are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to worry my brother again about it? Because he really wasn't happy about me asking the first time 'round. Got all defensive and fidgety."

"Oh,"

It made sense. Harry was becoming a bit fidgety himself, he noticed, his fingers pulling a loose thread of the blanket.

"Yes, _oh_ , so will you tell me so you can both move past it now?" She sighed dramatically.

"I..."

"Harry, I know it's not really any of my business but it's clear that you two aren't talking about it to each other so give me something at least, so I can try to help," she said, her eyes big and blue and so much like her brother's.

"When your mind is so... full of so many thoughts and emotions, it's hard to um, like...."

"Calm it down?" She offered.

"Yes," he said, licking his bottom lip, eyes on the blanket, "it's hard to know which one to focus on, if any of them are even real in the first place. What if it's just something like ... mixed up with the rest of my thoughts? Something that doesn't make sense? I don't know," he let out a frustrated breath, not knowing how to explain what he felt.

"Well," she started slowly, "it sounds like you're talking about something specifically, aren't you?"

Harry nodded.

"If you're feeling so strongly about it... why are you ignoring it?"

Harry snapped his head up to look at her. The way she said it... So simple and natural.

"B-because it could be nothing," Harry stammered.

"If it's nothing, would you really be feeling this way about it?" She raised her eyebrow at him pointedly.

Harry pursed his lips in response.

"Even if you feel confused about certain things... I think there are still other things that you feel that don't get invalidated because of that, you know? You can be confused about one thing but know for certain about another."

"You really think so?"

"Yes," she answered immediately, "my brother spoke to me, you know, when he was with Lance. He told me that he felt confused before they got together but he went for it anyways because Lance was the only thing at the time that made sense to him."

"Huh," he said softly.

"You're confused about how you feel about my brother, aren't you?" She blurted out.

Her eyes widened then, "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have---- I didn't mean to---"

"It's fine," Harry shook his head, "you've already implied that much weeks ago, remember?"

"Right," her cheeks turned pink, "Um, well, I'm sorry anyway for stepping out of line."

Harry let out a shaky breath, his heart in his throat and palms sweaty again, "I... I think I need some time to myself for a bit but, I will speak to him, I will," he ended with a determined tone.

"Okay," she grinned, "I'm sorry again for uh, bombarding you and stuff," she chuckled nervously.

"It's all right, I think you may have just helped me a bit anyways,"

"Good," she pushed herself off the bed, "I should help mum with garden."

"You have a garden?" Harry almost gasped.

"Only a few herbs," Lottie chuckled, "You can come take a look if you'd like to."

"I would love to," Harry jumped up to follow her, "I can't believe I didn't know you had a garden and I've been here for almost two months."

"I apologise for the delay of information then," Lottie said, amused, "come on."

Harry followed her out the room, the cold seeping through his socks as he walked over the wooden floors. He wasn't really bothered by it though, too excited to see their garden. A garden. How hadn't he noticed it before?

Back at the farm, he loved gardening. He helped Rose while she was still there and she taught him everything he knew now. There was something wonderful about watching something grow.

Rose always said the seeds are like babies, that if you kept feeding them, they would grow into something beautiful, just like human beings.

"It's wonderful," Harry grinned upon seeing the array of herbs set at back of the house in small, square pots.

"It's hardly anything, hon," Jay laughed, wiping her nose with the back of her glove-covered hand.

"Still wonderful," he argued, bending down to stick his nose onto one of the plants, "coriander," he grinned.

"Yes," Jay stood up, hands on her hips, "and the one next it is garlic and behind it is rosemary."

"Amazing," Harry bit back a smile, studying the small sprigs of life shooting out the soil.

"If you say so," Lottie sighed, "If Harry is going to help you, may I go back inside? It's getting a little cold out here."

"Lottie," Jay started with a stern tone.

"It's all right, Jay," Harry interrupted softly, "I'll help you."

Jay sighed, passing a glare at Lottie. Lottie sent her a sheepish smile in return.

"All right," she relented.

Lottie cheered, "thank you," she bent down and placed a quick kiss to Harry's cheek before disappearing into the house again, shutting the back door behind her.

Harry rubbed the spot that she kissed and smiled.

"Sorry about that, love," Jay said, bending down next to Harry.

"It's quite all right; I love helping you out and I just so happen to have a knack for gardening," he grinned at her.

"Well, aren't I lucky then?" She leaned forward to look at the pot of plain soil hidden behind the other three, "tell me why my thyme is not growing then."

Harry studied the soil, poking it twice. It was damp. "When did you plant It?"

"Just about three weeks ago," she said.

"Thyme, well, takes time to grow compared to the rest," Harry giggled.

She laughed with him, shaking her head, "so I didn't kill it yet, did I?"

"No," he shook his head, "not yet," he smirked.

"Cheeky boy," she chastised playfully.

Harry continued to explain to her how to take proper care of the herbs and spices she grew, giving her tips and ended up watering them right before they headed back inside again. Harry, with a bunch of rosemary in his hand, set out to make them his famous rosemary mashed potatoes.

The girls along with Jay and him ate dinner together and, like the past week, Louis didn't join them and Harry tried not to let it get to him much anymore.

He was hoping he could see Louis but he would have to wait till tomorrow morning to speak to him again.

Harry was willing to be completely honest with himself and with Louis because Lottie was right. Even in his mind of nonsensical thoughts, the only thing he knew for sure, the only thing making sense to him right now, was Louis.

***

Harry hadn't even gotten a glimpse of Louis during the next three days. It was like Louis had moved out, if Harry hadn't known any better. If it wasn't for some of his shoes left at the door, Harry would have thought he was long gone.

He couldn't even hear Louis coming into the house at midnight anymore. He tried to keep awake for longer but his sleep inevitably took over. Harry was growing worried about Louis.

Apparently that much was evident with the rest of the family as well. Jay had confided in him earlier today about it.

"He's being even more detached than usual," she sighed.

Harry felt the guilt creep up on him. He couldn't help but feel responsible for it.

"I wish that boy would talk to me sometimes," she added when Harry was being eaten up by guilt already.

All he could say was that he was sorry to which she smiled at him and continued to tend to the dough she was kneading for a soda bread.

If anything, her confessions made him want to speak to Louis even more so he was determined to stay up until Louis came back home, no matter the time.

Which brought him to sitting in the living room at quarter to twelve with _Tender Is The Night_ in his hand. He had already tried reading the same sentence of the book for the past ten minutes but his mind kept wandering, making it difficult to concentrate.

He huffed just as midnight came around when he knew he was getting nowhere with the book and closed it, placing it on the seat next to him before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

He could use a cup of tea.

He pushed the blanket that was wrapped around him off of his shoulders, then switched the kettle on when he made his way to the kitchen and waited at the dining room table for the water to boil.

Jay had gone to bed earlier while Lottie and Harry went to the bakery. Thursdays was still one of the few shifts they had together during the evenings and they happened to be the only evening shift Harry had now.

Julia offered Lottie the shifts during the day but Lottie insisted that she stay at home and help her mother. And while that may be partially true, Harry knew it was because she would get to see David more if she worked during the afternoons and evenings but he kept his mouth shut about it anyways, only teasing her when they were alone together or with the twins.

He had come to see that Lottie and her twin sisters were in fact very close. They spoke about everything all the time, Harry was shocked to see such a strong bond between family. Then again, the strong bond wasn't limited to the sisters, it was with Louis and their mother as well.

When the kettle shut off, Harry got off his seat and took out a mug, preparing his tea and that was when he heard the sound of the front door squeak open. He paused, the spoon coming to a still in the mug as the footsteps got closer to the kitchen, his heart in his throat and hand tightening around the metal when---

"Harry?" Louis asked, voice quieter, almost in a whisper, "what are you doing up so late?"

Harry swallowed, picking out the spoon and placing it into the sink, taking his time to turn around and face him.

When he did, Louis was still stood at the threshold, his eyes studying Harry's movements carefully.

"W-would, um, would you like some tea?" Harry squeaked out, choosing not to answer his question.

"Uh, sure," he replied dubiously, finally stepping into the kitchen but not sitting down, leaning against the dining table.

Harry turned around, swallowing the lump in his throat, shakily pouring out another cup of tea, feeling Louis' eyes burn holes into his skull.

He forced his hand to stop shaking as he passed the cup to Louis and took a seat again.

Louis mumbled a 'thanks' in return, sipping the tea delicately then humming, like he approved of the taste. Harry ignored the way his bones tingled at that.

"Um," Louis turned around then grabbed a chair of his own until they were facing each other, his strong, musky scent mixing in with the earthy smell of the tea, "I think... I owe you an apology."

Harry shook his head, "I owe you one," he said, "I've been avoiding you, I know." He looked down shamefully.

"I've been doing the same thing," Louis admitted sheepishly with a short mirhtless laugh, "Harry," he started with a long exhale. Harry looked up at him. "I shouldn't have done that--- that night at the theatre--- I crossed my boundaries and I didn't even apologise for doing that, I know that and I shouldn't have.... um..."

"Tried to kiss me?" Harry asked bravely.

Louis inhaled sharply, eyes a little wider, "Uh, yes---that."

"Oh," Harry frowned.

It hit him then that it was possible Louis may not feel the way he did.

"Say something," Louis asked kindly, softly.

"I tried to kiss you too," Harry blurted out.

He wasn't sure what had come over him but it thrilled him that he wasn't holding back. He needed to get it out and with Louis, he felt comfortable, despite it being tense between them recently, he still felt like he could tell Louis anything and he felt that immediately with him.

"Harry..." he started, unsure and cautious.

"Louis," he gulped, "I..."

"You what?" He breathed out, sounding almost scared.

"I wanted that--- I want that," he said hastily, his voice soft and bashful.

"W-want what?" He asked shakily.

There was a silence between them then where Harry simply stared at Louis, hoping his eyes gave away what his words couldn't.

"No," Louis said. Harry felt his heart constrict, "I--- it would be wrong--- I would taking advantage of you."

"You act as if I'm incapable of making my own decisions," Harry couldn't help but snap, "I am very capable and I know what I want," he then added in a quieter tone, "I'm scared--- I really am--- but in my jumbled up mind where there's nothing but confusion, you're the only thing that's making sense to me, the only thing I'm sure of," he ended with shaky breath.

He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. It felt like an entire world had been lifted off of his shoulders. He felt like he could at least breathe a little now. All of a sudden, he didn't feel confused and lost anymore, at least not as much.

"Say something, please, Lou," Harry whispered.

"Harry," he started and his tone wasn't indicative of anything positive or good.

Harry felt his heart drop. He had just embarrassed himself and he wasn't sure how to come back from it. Things wouldn't be the same between them--- they couldn't. There was no going back from this. Harry royally screwed it all up. There was no way he could continue to stay with them, he would have to move out soon because how could he even look Louis in the eye anymore? Everything was ruined and Harry co----

Louis' lips met his, silencing Harry's thoughts quickly. Harry muffled a small squeak against Louis' lips, reminding himself to shut his eyes, feeling sparks throughout his body when he finally pushed back into the kiss.

When Louis pulled away, Harry's heart was beating so fast he could feel it in his ears.

"You can open your eyes now," Louis said, tone amused.

Harry blinked them open, not even realising that they were closed in the first place.

"Hi," Louis smiled shyly at him.

"Hi," Harry said back, only now realising how much closer Louis was to him. He could smell the crisp evening air off of Louis' clothing.

"Was that..."

"More than okay," Harry confirmed, his cheeks and neck feeling like it was on fire.

It was just a press of their lips together for a few seconds but Harry knew it was already the best thing he had ever felt.

"Are you sure?" Louis asked, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat.

"Yes," Harry said quietly, bravely leaning forward again, "can we... can we do that again?"

Louis smirked and nodded, not wasting anymore time, connecting their lips together slowly. Harry felt warmth spread all the way down to his toes as Louis' hands cupped his face, pulling him closer.

His lips moved over Harry's twice then to the side where he then traced his tongue over Harry's bottom lip.

Harry pulled away, "I... I haven't done that before," he admitted.

Louis leaned away from him a bit so he could look at Harry properly. His eyes searched Harry's. "You've never kissed before?"

Harry shook his head, feeling himself get even hotter. His eyes diverted down to the floor.

Louis placed a finger underneath his chin, pulling his face up gently "well, how was it then? Was it all right?"

Harry nodded, his bottom lip tucked behind his teeth and eyes stuck on Louis'.

"How are you feeling?"

Harry wasn't sure how he was feeling. He still felt scared down to his very core because he fucking kissed a boy. A boy for God's sake. But, he also felt ecstatic; his heart was beating rapidly and his whole body was on fire in the best way possible, coupled with the way Louis looked at him, Harry finally felt like he could breathe again.

"Scared but... happy, I think,"

"Scared?" Louis arched his brow.

"You're a boy," Harry said pointedly, giving him a once over.

Louis smirked, "a man, some would say."

Harry chuckled softly.

"When we kissed, how did you feel?" Louis asked him.

"Right," Harry answered immediately, watching Louis' cheeks turn pink, "safe," Harry added.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Harry nodded.

"God," Louis shook his head, "I cannot believe that happened."

Harry watched Louis slide back into his chair fully, till his back hit the wood of the chair and grabbed his nearly-cold mug of tea, sipping it slowly.

"I planned to talk to you tomorrow morning," Louis confessed to him, eyes on the ceramic in his hand, "I was feeling miserable about what I had done--- what I was doing."

"I was too," Harry said, "Lottie spoke to me," he moved his chair close to Louis', "if it wasn't for her, I don't know if I would have done this."

"What did she say?" Louis brought one hand close to Harry's that lay over the table, raising an eyebrow in question before Harry nodded. Louis grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers together. Harry's breath stuttered.

He bit back a smile as he continued, "just that you were scared and confused once too but you knew that even above all of that you wanted, um, Lance."

"I did and I was," Louis squeezed Harry's hand in his, "and I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through because your situation seems ten times worse than mine but ... I'm so glad and so proud of you for being honest about your feelings."

"Really?" Harry blushed.

"Yes," Louis nodded, bringing Harry's hand up to his mouth and placing a soft kiss on his knuckles. Harry didnt bother biting back his smile this time.

"I am a little shaken up," Harry admitted, noticing his his hand that wasn't being held was shaking.

Louis reached over for that one and intertwined their fingers too, placing both their hands over Harry's lap.

"Please tell me what is you want from me, Harry," Louis said earnestly, his blue eyes glowing again.

"Whatever you will give me," Harry answered.

"You have me, Harry, all of me,"

Harry grinned again, "then you have all of me too."

"What does this mean then?" Harry asked after a moment of silence.

"I... I don't want to rush you into anything you aren't ready for, Harry," Louis said softly, rubbing his thumb over Harry's knuckles.

"I actually think it's about damn time," Harry chuckled lowly, "I've been so tired living a lie... it feels amazing to be liberated."

"It does, doesn't it?" Louis let go of Harry's right hand and reached up to gently run his thumb over Harry's cheekbone. Harry leaned into his touch instinctively.

"Are you sure that it's me that you want? You have so much to think about--- so much to figure out--- I don't you to feel as if you're obligated to me,"

Harry felt a little sting at that, "I know what I want, Louis and it is you," he said firmly.

"All right," Louis smiled then leaned forward again and placed a soft peck on his cheek, "I want you too."

"You do?" Harry felt excitement thrum inside his veins.

"Of course," Louis chuckled, "I did kiss you, didn't I?"

"And you'll do it again?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Until you stop me,"

"I don't think I could, now that I know what your lips feel like," Harry confessed with a flush on his cheeks.

Louis let out a small, soft gasp, "cheeky," he teased.

"Kiss me again?" Harry asked, eyes pleading.

Louis smiled and leaned forward, connecting their lips again, this time the kiss was sweeter and slower. Louis teased his tongue over Harry's lips again which Harry found he thoroughly enjoyed already, if the heat pooling in his belly was anything to go by.

"Will you kiss me again after tonight?" Harry asked when Louis pulled away.

"I told you, until you stop me," Louis murmured, his forehead over Harry's, "this is something you want for sure?"

"Yes," Harry replied instantly, not being sure of anything as much as he was with this.

"All right," Louis let out a shaky breath with a smile, "tomorrow morning, come to the chippy with me again?"

"Okay," Harry agreed, "and you'll kiss me again in the morning?"

Louis chuckled again, placing a quick peck on his lips, "I will," he enunciated, holding Harry's face between his hands, "You have my word, all right?"

"All right," Harry leaned forward and engulfed him into a hug, his arms around his shoulders. Louis hugged him back, tightening his arms around Harry's waist.

"Thank you," Louis mumbled into his shoulder.

"For what?"

"Giving me a chance--- fancying me, I suppose," he chortled.

Harry pulled away, "who said I fancy you?" He asked with a teasing twist of his lips.

"Oh, sod off," Louis rolled his eyes and stood up, grabbing the two half full mugs of tea and draining them down the sink.

"Thank you, Louis," Harry said as Louis walked back, "for giving me a chance, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't... if you didn't---"

"But I did," Louis interrupted, standing in front of Harry and extending his hand out to him, "come on, let's get you to bed."

Harry happily accepted his hand, enjoying the way their fingers threaded together again and just seemed to fit.

They passed each other shy smiles as Louis walked Harry to the bedroom.

"Goodnight," he said, kissing Harry's cheek.

Harry reciprocated the gesture and statement before bashfully sauntering to his bed, catching a glimpse of Louis' smile right before his door shut closed.

Harry slept with a smile into his pillow and a dizzy feeling in his head.

***

The whole morning was fidgety for Harry. When he saw Louis in the kitchen in the morning, he had a strong urge to go over and place a kiss on his cheek. The thought made him smile. Then Jay came into view with a bowl of cereal ready and waiting for Harry, set next to Louis.

The air was tense between them again but this time it wasn't anything awkward or uncomfortable. They had to sit next to each other in silence while Jay spoke about what their supper would be later today and how the weather was starting to get colder.

It was only when they were in the chippy truck that Louis placed a chaste kiss on his lips, his hands shaking and face pale.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, concerned.

"I was afraid you wouldn't want that again," Louis said, sighing.

Harry shook his head, this time he kissed Louis softly, surprised at his bravery to initiate it, "I asked you to, remember?" He said, pulling away.

"Right," Louis huffed. Before Harry could even comprehend what was happening, he was being embraced tightly by Louis, his hands around Harry's waist and face tucked into Harry's neck.

"I do have to leave in a few to get to the bakery," Harry said when Louis pulled away.

"I'll walk you there," Louis smiled. And then he was being kissed again.

Harry still wasn't used to that. Then again it had only been a day. How long would it take until he did get used to it? Would he ever?

The rest of the hour and a half was spent helping Louis prepare, as he used to do, and serving up some customers again but it was fairly quiet and Harry suspected it had something to do with the miserable weather. If he could help it, he would have just stayed inside today. It felt like a perfect sort of day to get cosy near a fireplace with a cuppa and good book.

"Harry," Louis called out just as they approached the bakery. Harry turned to him, raising an eyebrow, "how about we go for some ice cream later when you're done with your shift? I'll come fetch you."

Harry nodded happily, "would be a bit too cold for ice cream though, wouldn't it?" He asked, examining the cloudy sky.

"Never too cold for ice cream," Louis shrugged.

Fair enough. With that set, Louis gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek again right as he pulled away from their hug and trudged off back to the chippy. Harry could see his smile even while his back was turned to Harry and walking away.

Harry took some pride in the fact that he did that. He made Louis smile like that.

***

All-in-all, it hadn't felt any... different between them per sé, aside from the added kisses and lengthy embraces here and there, everything else was just as it had been before.

Really, now his mind felt much more at ease than it had ever been. Harry wondered why he waited so long for this.

It was still odd at times, as dark thoughts would push their way into Harry's mind about how disappointed his father and Rose would be at him and how wrong it was but then Louis would smile or he'd laugh and Harry would ask himself what was so wrong about that?

Another newer thing that happened amidst the hand-holding they would do while they were alone at the house, was cuddles.

Harry felt stiff at first, when Louis had first pulled him by his shoulders till his upper body was leaning against Louis. He wasn't used to that sort of thing at all. He remembered receiving a few from Rose when he was younger and vaguely from his mother but naturally, these felt different.

Louis hadn't seemed to care about his lack of experience regarding... anything, really. He just told Harry to relax into his hold and shift around until he was more comfortable. Which ended up being with his head right over Louis' collarbone and ankles locked at the bottom of the couch.

It was still unnerving how much calmer he had felt all of sudden, as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Perhaps there was a weight that had been lifted off of him that he hadn't even realised was pushing him farther and farther into the ground.

They wouldn't go anything past kissing but Harry was more than happy with that. In fact, he much rather preferred it that way. He didn't know what went beyond kissing, if he was honest, but he still didn't think he was ready to find out either. As it was, he was still adjusting to the whole kissing thing.

Though Louis taught him a little bit more about being more comfortable with himself and what he wanted, he wouldn't always feel secure about it but Louis reassured him that it would take time. They had spent a few hours discussing Harry and how he had been feeling that evening at the ice cream parlour then continuing their conversation at home as well.

He felt lighter for sure, despite it being barely two weeks since then.

Late at night, when those dark thoughts would enter his mind again and he'd feel his heart beat so loudly that it thundered in his ears, he would remember how Louis locked their pinkies together underneath the dining table, or his lips always being so careful when kissing Harry and the reassurance would instantly wash over him that it felt right. It felt okay.

Needless to say, it was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions for him to experience and he would feel so overwhelmed about it more often than not but not in the same way he used to be and that was a start.

There was still that haggling concern about being spotted too close to Louis or laughing too hard at his jokes, smiling too much at him--- in public it was left at a small distance between them whenever they could and only ever romanticising when they were safe and behind closed doors because he knew there were still many people that wouldn't approve of them and that was something Harry wanted to avoid by all means.

In the house, however, it was proving to be more and more difficult for them to keep their... feelings... under control.

Harry could see that Lottie already suspected something, judging by her constant smug smile around them and narrowing eyes, but the twins seemed to remain oblivious along with Jay.

Harry wasn't sure what Louis wanted to say to them--- if he even did want to say anything at all to them in the first place--- but he wasn't going to push either.

It was still all timid and tentative and new for not only Harry but Louis too and them just being them felt okay for him. He wasn't particularly sure how he would feel about everyone suddenly knowing besides Lottie and Louis. Even if it was only three more people, it still felt like a whole lot to Harry.

Baby steps, Louis would always say.

His life felt... pretty okay, if he was being honest. For the first time in two months, he didn't feel the need to panic over anything. There was still a lot to figure out but he was okay. He was fine--- more than fine.

"Where has your mind gone, love?" Louis asked him, placing a hand over his thigh gently.

Harry inhaled sharply. "Just... thinking," Harry shrugged, leaning more into Louis.

"About?" Louis probed, dropping a sweet kiss on his head.

Harry smiled, "us."

"Everything all right with us?" Louis asked him quietly.

Harry reached for the hand that was on his thigh and laced their fingers together.

"It's good--- great even," he said honestly, "I'm just worried something will go wrong... everything feels too... perfect."

"Can't think like that, love," Louis pulled away slightly so that he could look at Harry, "you're happy, right?"

"Yes,"

"Then just be happy," he brushed his thumb over Harry's cheekbone, "don't over think it."

Harry shut his eyes briefly and nodded, loving the way Louis' fingers felt. "Are you happy?" He asked once his eyes were opened.

Louis' lips rose slowly, "so happy," he said.

Harry initiated the kiss this time, meeting his lips sloppily and laughing into Louis' mouth while his hand cupped Louis' face.

Louis' hands made their way down to Harry's waist, pulling him closer and closer until Harry was sat on Louis' lap.

Louis pulled away, looking up at him, "this okay?"

"Yes," he breathed out, crashing their lips together again.

Louis did that thing again where he licked and sucked on Harry's lips and Harry couldn't help but whimper at how good it had felt. Never had he ever felt something that made him feel so... alive.

At one point Harry's lips parted and Louis slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth. Harry squeaked and pulled away.

"Sorry," Louis said, breathing heavily, his hands resting on Harry's hips.

Harry's cheek turned hot, "what ... that's normal?"

"You haven't read many books where there's anything further than kissing, have you?" Louis asked.

"I... not particularly, No," he looked down, hands resting over Louis' chest, feeling his heart thudding underneath his palm.

"Um, it's part of kissing, I suppose," Louis explained, licking his swollen bottom lip. Harry felt that heat in his belly again.

"You just... put your tongue in... in my mouth?" He couldn't help but sound incredulous.

Louis huffed out a laugh and shook his head, "You... Um... yes? But your tongue is supposed to move with mine," he explained with pink cheeks and red ears.

"That's ghastly," Harry grimaced.

"It feels really nice, I promise," Louis thumbed his lip, wiping the corner.

"Really?"

"Yes, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to," Louis smiled reassuringly.

"I... I want to, but, not... now, if that's all right,"

Louis snorted, kissing his nose, "it's more than all right. How about we just kiss again like we've been doing?"

"Yes," Harry nodded decisively. Kissing Louis was quickly becoming his favourite thing, "your mum and sisters won't be back anytime soon?" He asked, just as their lips were touching.

"Not for at least another hour," Louis said, kissing him softly. Harry hummed and reveled in the feeling of Louis against him again, feeling warm and anchoring, holding Harry close.

Harry knew he could definitely get used to this.

***

"A date?"

"Yes, to the cinema," Louis confirmed, "You said that you haven't been in a while."

"A date?" Harry asked again, containing a smile.

"Well, yes," Louis shrugged, bumping Harry's shoulder playfully, "have to woo you, seduce you and all that."

"Oh," Harry flushed, "what are we seeing then?"

" _White Heat_ is still showing, would you be interested in that?"

"Sure," Harry nodded, excited, "ice cream again afterwards?" He asked sheepishly.

"Only for you to get a runny nose again? No thank you," Louis snorted.

"It was only a day!"

"Still, we don't want to risk that again, do we? Getting ill right after our first date, that won't do,"

"And why won't it do?" Harry asked, lips twitched upward.

Louis moved closer to Harry, his breath tickling Harry's ear, "because then I won't get to kiss you afterwards."

Harry shivered at that, biting his bottom lip. He loved kissing Louis, it was his favourite thing to do now. Ever since Louis had initiated the whole... tongue thing, Harry could also not get it off his mind.

It was scarily fascinating and enthralling.

"So tonight is fine then?"

"Yes," Harry confirmed with a smile. A date. His very first date.

When Louis had informed Jay that he was taking Harry out to the cinema, Harry could see her face twist up in confusion then relax into realisation. Her eyes shifted from Louis then to Harry and finally to Louis again, narrowing and suspicious.

Harry swallowed nervously.

"He just hasn't been to cinema in a while, ma," Louis said quickly, seemingly catching her curious look.

"All right," she said eventually and, without another word, she headed back to her knitting.

Daisy and Phoebe passed each other looks but otherwise said nothing else.

Harry felt his stomach twist in knots.

It was clear that they were suspicious now, at least Jay was. What confused Harry was that she didn't seem happy about it.

In fact, she had seemed quite the opposite; tight-lipped, hostile and, well, unhappy.

As they headed to the cinema, Harry voiced his concerns to Louis, knowing that if he had held it in anymore, he wouldn't be able to enjoy their... date.

His very first date. He was not going to ruin that, not for himself or Louis.

Louis gave him a wistful sigh and shook his head shortly, "I promise it has nothing to do with you personally, love," was what Louis said in response.

Harry's frown had deepened. Generally, he would blush and preen at the use of the word 'love' from Louis but it was pushed down by his growing concern.

"Come on, let's just enjoy the movie, all right? I promise you it has nothing to do with you at all--- she's just been in a mood lately, that's all," Louis gave him a small smile.

Harry nodded.

Of course the worry hadn't just magically disappeared when they went into the cinema. Louis bought a bucket of popcorn for the two of them to share and picked seats at the very back for them to sit.

He could hardly concentrate on the movie playing but he could tell it was probably a good one, given how invested Louis seemed in it, sitting forward in his seat at certain parts or cursing/cheering under his breath at others.

It was around the time that Harry's mind started to drift to darker places again, picturing Jay's reaction, that he felt Louis' warm hand intertwine their fingers.

Harry's heart rate increased. He glanced down at the intertwined hands hidden between them then at Louis.

Louis was smiling softly at him. "Is this okay?"

"Yes," Harry said, though he could feel a sense of panic and fear in his veins, he shoved it down in favour of reveling in the way Louis' warm hand seemed to anchor him.

Louis squeezed his hand and leaned over to whisper, "I know you're worried but trust me, my ma is always supportive and she adores you, yeah?"

Harry shivered a bit at the warmth of his breath but nodded anyways. Louis was right. He knew by now that Jay was supportive and he adored her too.

He could only swallow down the remaining fear and hope for the best. He had a habit of overthinking and he was sure this was one of those times.

With that in mind, he shifted in his seat and tried to focus on what was left of the film for them to see, relishing in the way Louis held his hand and rubbed his thumb over Harry's knuckles.

Harry felt happy, regardless.

***

"Louis, can we, um, try it?" Harry asked nervously, hiding his heated face in Louis' neck.

"Try what, love?" Louis asked, running his fingers through Harry's hair. Harry hummed happily. He was beginning to love when Louis played with his hair. He was pretty sure he could fall asleep like this, close and cuddling to Louis while he played with Harry's hair.

But, Harry was a man on a mission first.

"When we kiss," Harry pulled away, "You know, um, the tongue thing?"

"You want to make out?" Louis smirked at him, though it didn't seem mocking, just as if he was endeared.

"Yeah," Harry confirmed, biting his lip.

"Okay... if it's too weird, just pull away and tell me, okay?"

"Okay,"

Harry shut his eyes, sighing softly as their lips met, tightening his arms around Louis' neck.

Louis held onto Harry's waist tightly, his tongue finally peeking out and licking over Harry's bottom lip. Harry opened up his mouth slowly, gasping into Louis' mouth as their tongues met.

He was surprised by the rapid increase of arousal that pooled in his stomach, the way he pushed himself even further into Louis, bravely moving his tongue too.

Louis groaned, causing Harry to moan. It only spurred him on, to go even harder and tug at the ends of Louis' hair.

Louis broke the kiss, his forehead leaning on Harry's while they both were breathing heavily, trying to catch their breath.

"That was okay?" Louis asked, squeezing his hips softly.

"Really good," Harry replied, feeling hazy, "weird but good."

Louis laughed breathily, pecking Harry's lips twice then his nose, "you're really good at it."

"Kissing?"

"Yeah," Louis nudged their noses together sweetly, making Harry smile, "I really need to get going, love."

Harry whined, letting out a sigh, "okay," he kissed Louis this time, long and hard, just a press of their lips, before hugging him because he loved giving and receiving hugs and Louis' were the best.

"I may be really late tonight," Louis said, pulling away, "so you don't have to wait up for me, yeah? Get some sleep."

"Lou, I don't mind st---"

"I know, I know you don't, but you haven't been sleeping much, so please get some sleep tonight," Louis asked, pouting for emphasis.

"All right," Harry eventually sighed, nodding, "have fun at the theatre then and try not to get zapped again."

Louis giggled, kissing his forehead, "bye, love." He walked backwards, before turning around and walking out of the room.

Harry sighed as the door shut, collapsing onto the bed and cuddling his pillow close to his chest, biting back a beaming smile. His heart felt content. For the first time in a long time, he was so happy.

***

"Harry," Louis giggled on his lips, "Harry, love, I have to work now."

Harry groaned and pulled away, "sorry," he mumbled.

"Its okay, I may not be able to walk you to work today," Louis said, grabbing his little hat and apron to put on.

"Its all right. Is Finn coming over?"

Louis told Harry yesterday that he was going to come in and check on the truck for a while before he left to see his mother in Lilycandale. That poor mother of his, Lord knew he didn't really care about her, he only cared about her wealth.

At least, that was what Louis said to him.

"Yeah," Louis murmured, tying the strings of the apron into a knot at the bottom of his spine.

If Harry's gaze lingered there, no one had to know.

"Good luck then," Harry reached over and squeezed his hand. Louis' face softened. He smiled at Harry.

"Thank you," Louis brought Harry's hand up to his mouth to give it a quick kiss before letting it go to grab the frying pan from underneath the working station.

"Louis, my boy!"

Harry and Louis turned to see Cap'n Gilly sauntering over, his toothy (whatever teeth he had left that is) smile on display.

"Oh, Harry, how good to see you!" Gilly let out a hearty laugh, extending his hand out to Harry.

Harry shook it politely, "nice to see you again."

They had met briefly once again when Gilly delivered some more fish to Louis but he had to go quickly as he had some job to attend to so it was barely a greeting passed between them.

"You're looking great, aren't ya?" He said, jutting out his bottom lip then turning to Louis, "takin' care of 'im, I hope."

"Always," Louis replied without missing a beat.

Harry smiled to himself, glancing at Louis shortly, spotting a similar smile on his face.

"That's good, good," he trailed off, "still waitin' for you boys to come on me boat, ya know?"

"We will, Cap," Louis said, already busying himself with cutting up some potatoes, "You and the boys want the usual then?"

"As always--- mine with extra vinegar," he reminded Louis.

"Noted," Louis smiled, "it'll be ready in about fifteen minutes."

"Thank you, Louis," he turned to Harry next, "don't you boys be strangers, yer hear? I'll be waitin' on ya both for that boat ride."

Louis grinned, chuckling softly, giving him his usual finger salute as Cap'n started to walk away.

"He's really nice," Harry said good naturedly.

"He is," Louis plopped the chips into the hot oil, "would you like to visit the boat some time?"

Harry shrugged, "I suppose."

"We'll let him know then," Louis stole a cheeky, chaste kiss from Harry, smirking to himself when Harry started to blush furiously.

He realised then that maybe this was a good place to start over. He had already been doing it for the past few weeks now with Louis by his side and the job at the bakery, everything felt like it was aligning and making sense to him again.

So, Harry Styles had officially started over. 


	7. VII: Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second update! 
> 
> The last chapter will be up on Wednesday and the epilogue will follow shortly after, Sunday being the latest :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

Harry was going to kill him.

The boy was driving him absolutely insane.

Ever since he had asked to make out --- with tongue--- he couldn't get enough, it seemed. Any time that they were alone, Harry would attack him with kisses. Louis wasn't complaining, but god he was so good. It was hard to believe that Harry hadn't kissed anyone before.

Louis was happy to oblige whenever Harry would kiss him, but it was easy to get carried away, especially with how confident Harry was getting now. He would lick into Louis' mouth, lead the kiss, pull Louis closer --- even grope him sometimes. Which was equally surprising as it was arousing.

Their last makeout session ended with Harry giving Louis' bum a cheeky squeeze before he pulled away, a deep pink darkening his cheeks as he profusely apologised.

Louis laughed and told him that he didn't mind at all and that Harry could touch him however he'd like to. Harry, much to Louis' surprise, said that the same goes for Louis, he could touch Harry however he'd like to, as long as he asked Harry first.

Which was fine, of course. He would have asked anyways. But, it was making him so happy to see how confident and comfortable Harry was becoming with just being himself.

He wouldn't shy away from Louis in front of his sisters anymore. Daisy and Phoebe had figured it out, especially after their little cinema date. Everything had been left unsaid though, which Harry was thankful for, as he told Louis.

So, they knew and they teased Louis whenever they could, Lottie chiming in with Harry as well, though not as much as she would with Louis. Harry didn't mind, he just laughed or blushed.

If they sat together in the living room or the kitchen and they happened to be there, Harry would still lean in to Louis, cuddle up to him, link their fingers together and one time he even kissed Louis' cheek.

It was safe to say he was doing much better now than compared to maybe a month ago. Heck, each day he was becoming more and more comfortable with who he was and it was a beautiful thing to watch.

The only time Harry would recoil or become a little stoic and hostile was whenever Louis' mother was around.

Ever since Louis had informed her about him taking Harry out to the cinema, she had become a little... cold, distant maybe, with Harry. It wasn't anything too major, just little things here and there.

Like before, she would ask Harry to help her out or join him in the kitchen whereas now, she just wouldn't. Whenever Harry did offer his help or made something for them to eat, she wouldn't say much, just letting him do his thing.

Louis could see that it was upsetting Harry so he wanted to confront her about it. He knew that she was apprehensive about Louis starting anything with Harry but the way she was acting was not fair, not when Harry had been making so much of progress.

"Ma?" Louis called out, closing the door behind him then taking off his coat. He thanked god for their small little fireplace. It was tiny, sure, but it was effective.

"Louis?" Her head peeked out from the kitchen door, eyebrows furrowed, "what are you doing here?"

"Chippy was dead so I finished up early," he replied honestly.

She moved herself out of the kitchen, both of them meeting halfway at the living room. Louis sat down at his usual seat, rubbing his hands together to create some warmth.

"Well, aren't you going to wait for Harry?" She asked.

Louis pulled his legs up, crossing them and tucking his feet under his legs. "I'll take a walk there in a moment."

"Daisy and Phoebe went to help at the bookstore today," she explained, sitting back on the couch.

"Yeah, Lottie told me," Louis said, "can't believe she's out on a date."

"He seems like a nice boy," she said.

The air was tense between them but it was expected. She was being very careful with her words already.

"I think so too. Harry says he's a nice fella," Louis said, watching her expression, scrutinizing it. She simply looked down, humming at him.

"Ma, what's going on with you and Harry?" Louis blurted out, not having the patience to deal with it any longer.

"Louis, I've told you how I feel about all of this already," she sighed tiredly, "sweetheart, you told me it was nothin'---"

"I also told you to trust us--- _us_ , Ma," he cut her off sharply.

"I just don't think he's in the right space to be in any sort of relationship and I'm afraid that he's going to hurt you," she said blatantly.

"Ma, I told you the ball is in his court--- and it is--- we're doing things at his pace, I'm not going to force him to do anything he doesn't want to,"

"But what about you, Louis? You're doing everythin' for him, you're forgettin' about yourself. I told you, I just don't want to see you hurt again," she said desperately.

"And I told you to trust us," he repeated, "he means a lot to me, and I can tell I mean a lot to him too."

She shook her head, her body sagging, "you're being too careless with your heart, Louis."

Louis frowned.

"He's figuring things out as we go, ma. And he's so scared, you know? But he's so bloody brave too and I'm so, so proud of him," Louis wasn't sure where he was going with what he was saying but he knew it needed to be said, "and I told him that out of every one in this cruel world, you were also one of the few people to accept me for me and it's hurting him because you're not doing the same for him."

There were tears gathering up in her eyes, yet she remained silent.

"Yet he still is with me, he still hugs me, kisses me, speaks to me--- even though he believes you don't accept him, he's still doing all of that--- he's still there for me. And if that doesn't say something about who he is as a person, then I don't know what will," Louis ended, letting out a shaky breath.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Louis," she said eventually, "of course I don't hate him for anything---"

"Then tell him that," he interrupted, "why are you acting that way towards him? For all you know I could be the one that ends up hurting me-- I would never dream of it and never do it intentionally--- but it could happen. Why are you so sure he'll hurt me?"

"Because I've met people like that before, Louis," she said earnestly, "I know people who want to start over and choose someone to do it with and the person they choose to do it with always gets hurt in the end because once they get a taste of what starting brand new is like, they don't stop and I'm afraid that will happen to you too."

"But he's not like that, Ma," Louis said determinedly, "and I trust him, I just wish you would do the same."

When she didn't say anything else, Louis pushed himself off the couch, "I'm going to fetch him," he announced.

He had a good few minutes before he would have to leave but Louis didn't feel like being here right now.

"Not eating anythin'?" She asked as he slipped on his coat. Her tone was...cautious and kinder.

"I'm fine," he replied, tight-lipped, "I'll see you later."

She nodded, now leaning against the nearest wall opposite him. Louis turned around and walked out the house quickly. He didn't look back, not even when he closed the door behind himself.

***

Louis couldn't sleep at all which didn't come as much of a surprise, really.

He tried to mask his emotions when he met Harry at the bakery but Harry could obviously see through it. Louis promised to tell him but not at that moment. He could see it bothered Harry but he shrugged it off for the time being.

At dinner, everything felt uncomfortable, including Harry now and Louis couldn't help but blame himself for that. He barely had an appetite, which was also expected, and he excused himself to his room soon after.

Now, he couldn't help but feel guilty because he hadn't even paid attention to Harry much since they came back from the bakery.

With a long sigh, Louis groaned and pushed himself off the bed, tip-toeing down the stairs to Harry's bedroom. The bedroom had become Harry's now, Louis couldn't even remember it being a spare bedroom.

The stairs squeaked, much to his dismay, but he made it to the room quickly, covering his arms with his hands. The door was partially opened so Louis pushed it slightly, seeing the figure on the bed turn to him.

"Hey," Louis whispered.

The rays from the moon shone over the side of Harry's face, illuminating his skin beautifully. Louis almost forgot how to breathe.

"Hello," Harry whispered back, "what are you doing?"

"Can I come join you?" Louis asked, ignoring his question for the time being.

"Uh... okay," Harry moved himself closer to the edge of the mattress and pushed the duvet away for Louis to get in.

Louis smiled, tucking himself underneath the blanket and duvet, moving closer to Harry.

"Hello again," Louis sighed, nuzzling into the flattened pillow, happy that it smelt just like Harry.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked softly, now turned to Louis, their faces inches apart.

Louis couldn't help but reach up and run his finger slowly over Harry's features. He just looked so beautiful.

He smiled as Louis reached his cheek, his dimple popping where Louis' finger was.

"Spoke to ma today," Louis said, his hand laying limp now between the two of them.

"Oh?" He frowned.

"Yes... about you," Louis mumbled.

Harry swallowed, "Did you... what did you tell her?"

"Nothing--- nothing too personal--- I hope not," Louis widened his eyes, realising he could have said more than Harry wanted to in the first place.

"What did you say?" Harry repeated, not unkindly.

"Just... I asked her why she was being so... weird with you--- with us... is that okay? I'm so sorry, I should have asked you first--- fuck,"

"It's fine," Harry bit his lip, "it was kind of obvious anyways..."

"But it wasn't my place. I'm so sorry," Louis said again, searching his eyes worriedly. He couldn't believe he was such an idiot about it. He should have consulted Harry first.

"It's okay, really," Harry reached up and intertwined their fingers, their joined hands lay in the middle of the two, "What, um, what did she say?"

"Right," Louis muttered, letting out a small exhale, "she knew for a while now that I like you--- a lot--- and she knew that the last time I was in a relationship, I ended up getting hurt so, I think she's just being overprotective of me but..."

"But?"

"She's--- I don't even know what to say anymore, you know? Why does she get to be so cold with you because she's protective of me?" He let out a frustrated breath.

"She's just worried about you," Harry concluded, the tone of his voice was undetectable.

"She doesn't think you're in the right sort of space or whatever to be in a relationship with anyone and---" Louis cut himself off, shaking his head, "I wish she would leave that up to you to decide."

There was a pregnant pause.

"That was one of the things I was the most scared about--- you know that," Harry said into the dark room, "I never want to hurt you, Louis, I hope you know that."

His voice was thick with emotion, eyes shone in the dim moonlight as he gazed at Louis fiercely.

Louis grinned softly. He untangled their fingers to brush away a piece of hair that fell over Harry's forehead. Harry's eyes shut closed at the feeling of Louis' touch.

"I hope I never hurt you too--- I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself," Louis said softly, reaching forward, kissing his forehead gently.

"I'm sorry she feels that way," Harry said once pulled away, "I--- I don't know what I can do to have her accept me again."

Louis felt his jaw clench at that. He loved his mother more than anything, but god he wished she hadn't caused Harry to think this way about himself.

"I could talk to her again?" Louis offered, feeling helpless.

"Would it make a difference?"

Louis' silence was enough of an answer.

"I haven't done anything to you to hurt you... Have I?" Harry asked.

"No, never,"

"Then why doesn't she trust me? I thought---- I thought we were--- I don't know, we were close and she's like a mother to me by now--- at least I thought she was."

Louis shook his head, "I don't think she doesn't like you anymore or anything like that--- she's just confused, I think."

"Well, I don't know how to fix it," Harry said sadly, his lips turned into a frown.

"That's up to her to fix now, okay?" Harry nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek, landing on the pillow. "Hey, none of that," Louis wiped the wetness away from his cheek with his thumb.

"Are we okay?" Harry asked, as Louis rested his hand over Harry's waist delicately.

"More than," Louis replied honestly with a smile, nudging their noses together, "do you trust me?"

"Yes," Harry answered without missing a beat.

Louis kissed him in response, their lips meeting sweetly, softly and passionately, moving together for a few seconds until they both pulled away, gazing into each other's eyes.

"You look beautiful," Louis couldn't help but tell him. He should know.

A pink blush decorated his cheeks, "so do you," Harry said, finger running over Louis' lip.

Louis kissed his finger with a smirk on his face. Harry swallowed. Before they knew it, they were kissing again, Harry doing that thing where he led the kiss, biting onto Louis' bottom lip, causing Louis to groan.

Louis tightened his arm around Harry's waist, pulling him closer and closer, their tongues dancing together sloppily, until he was hovering over the boy.

Harry opened his legs, welcoming Louis between them. Louis fell effortlessly between them, his hand travelling up and down Harry's side, enjoying the way he whimpered on his lips.

When Louis reached underneath his jumper, he ran his thumb over his nipple softly, causing Harry to gasp, head thrown back in a moan.

"This okay?" Louis asked, hand still exploring Harry's warm skin. He hoped his hands weren't too cold.

"Yes," Harry replied breathlessly.

Louis wasted no time, his thumb tracing the nub of his nipple, his short nail digging into very tip, causing Harry to groan, his head falling to the side.

His neck looked too inviting for Louis not to attach himself onto. He ran his tongue filthily over the column of his neck, sucking and nibbling right underneath his ear.

Harry whimpered again, hips rutting upwards, connecting deliciously with Louis'. Louis met Harry's ruts back with his own. The rough material of their night clothes and underwear felt agonising.

Louis wanted to pull them off, take Harry in his mouth, hold him down while Harry came undone underneath him, he wanted to touch him and feel him but for now, this was more than enough. He didn't want to rush Harry into anything he wasn't ready for.

"Louis," Harry moaned. It sounded like the sweetest melody Louis had ever heard. He hid his own face in Harry's neck as their hips met, cocks rubbing together .

Louis circled his hips then, resulting in Harry throwing his head back, letting out the loudest, most angelic sound, ringing in Louis' ears.

Louis captured his lips, swallowing Harry's moans and his own groans, Harry's hands eventually joined on Louis' hair, threading his fingers through them and tugging occasionally.

He hadn't come to Harry's room to do anything but speak and maybe hold the boy but he wasn't complaining at all.

"Harry," he licked over his lips, sucking on it, "are you okay?" He asked, pulling away.

His hands were still exploring Harry's torso and chest, the pads of his fingertips enjoying his milky, soft skin.

"Yeah," Harry managed to squeak out, "feels good," he mumbled, his fingers bravely sneaking it's way underneath Louis' jumper, feeling the knobs of his spine.

Louis' movements faltered. He loved how gently Harry was touching him. No one had ever touched him that way.

"Lou?" Harry asked, sounding breathless.

Louis nudged their noses together again, pecking his lips, "feels nice," Louis said.

"Oh," Harry smiled, venturing higher with his fingers then lower until his hands were resting at the dip of Louis' spine.

"Want to kiss you all over," Louis said, his thrusts continuing slowly.

"Do it," Harry said, mouth agape, eyes shut at every movement of Louis' cock against his.

"Sure?" Louis asked, forgetting how to do anything but pleasure this boy underneath him.

Harry nodded. Louis rucked up his jumper till it was underneath his armpits, watching Harry's nipples harden at the cool air hitting his exposed skin.

Louis took a moment to admire him, the way his skin glowed but his chest was flushed in a soft pink, matching the shade on his cheeks whereas his lips were a riper, plumper pink--- almost cherry- red.

"So beautiful," Louis said, in awe. Harry grinned, his dimples indenting his cheeks that Louis adored.

He smiled back before he left small, wet, delicate kisses, starting from the flush on his chest, the heat tickling his lips as he moved down his ribs and to his navel.

There were a few bumps and scars and scratches he felt, where he spent extra attention. He sucked on his hipbones, the knowledge that only a little further down was where Harry was hard and leaking, no doubt, was painful.

Louis refrained, kissing back up, hearing Harry's whimpering and moaning. As soon as Louis clamped his mouth over Harry's nipple, his hand flew up to Louis' hair, instantly starting to tug at the roots, his moans loud and unabashed.

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Louis knew he should tell Harry to quiet down, given that he had the rest of his family in the house, but he really didn't want to. Not when the sounds he was making made Louis dizzy with arousal.

"Louis," he moaned again. Louis looked up at him, seeing that Harry's eyes looked glazed over.

"Kiss me, please," Harry said.

Louis leaned up, kissing him, their hips moving together again. Harry's thighs clamped around Louis' waist, pushing them closer together.

Louis was close, he could feel it. The rub of their cocks together was so fucking good, he felt weak.

After a few more thrusts of his hips against Harry's groin and erection, Harry threw his head back, his mouth in a perfect 'o' and eyes squeezed shut while his fingernails dug into the small of Louis' back.

Louis muffled his own moan into Harry's throat, feeling the sticky liquid spurt out into his pants and underwear.

Louis collapsed onto him, nuzzling his neck, placing sweet kisses to his jaw and to his lips.

"Hey," Louis smiled against his lips.

"Hi," Harry said, still trying to catch his breath, but smiling nonetheless, looking sated.

Louis placed a kiss on his cheek before rolling off of him, grimacing at the uncomfortable stick to his underwear.

Louis saw Harry blinking slowly, lips parted, breathing heavily, still in the same position.

He reached over and pulled down Harry's jumper, patting his covered tummy lightly once it was fully down.

"You all right?" Louis asked, moving his hair out of his face.

Harry looked, to put it delicately, fucked out.

"Felt good," Harry said, slurring his words.

Louis leaned up on his elbow, looking down at him.

"And you're fine?" He asked again, for good measure.

"Yes, so good," Harry grinned tiredly, thumbing at Louis' cheekbones, "feels a bit, um..."

"Sticky? Uncomfortable?" Louis smirked.

"Yes," Harry's hands fell over Louis' shoulders.

"Me too," Louis wrinkled his nose, "do you have any tissue?"

"Underneath the bed," Harry said, "over on your side."

Your side.

Louis moved to check underneath the bed, sporting the small box along with some candles and a pair of shoes.

Louis smiled, bringing up the box and pinching out a few. He handed a few to Harry and took a few for himself before carelessly throwing the box underneath the bed again.

Huffing, Louis sat up, blushing as he reached down to wipe his underwear and pants.

Harry also seemed to be blushing as he reached down to wipe his own.

Once they were both done, Louis balled up his own and threw it into the bin nearby. He reached for Harry's as well.

"Lou, that's gross, I'll throw it away," Harry squeaked, looking at Louis as if he was a mad man.

Louis snorted, watching Harry stand on his legs, walking to the bin and throwing it away himself.

"Don't look at me like that," Harry glared at him playfully as he snuggled back into the blankets and duvet.

"You know, I would gladly lick it up next time," Louis couldn't help but remark.

Harry gaped at him, swatting his arm playfully, "you wouldn't."

Louis wanted to laugh but he didn't. Instead, he edged closer to Harry, his hand falling to Harry's waist again and pulling him closer to Louis' chest.

"You're so cute," he chuckled, kissing his nose, "I would gladly lick, swallow, taste--- everything--- if you let me, of course."

Harry grimaced, "but... It wouldn't taste nice, would it?"

"It's all right," Louis shrugged.

"So... how, uh, how would it work?"

"What exactly?"

"Swallowing?" Harry frowned.

Louis felt his cheeks getting hot. It wasn't like he never spoke about this before. With Lance, they both sort of figured each other out in their own ways.

"I put your, um---"

"Manhood?" Harry offered.

Louis cackled but nodded anyways, "Yeah, I guess so--- I put in my mouth and uh... suck, I suppose? You haven't read many erotic novels, have you?"

"Not a fan of them," Harry shrugged.

"Fair enough," Louis kissed him again, just because he could, "if you'd like, I could show some time--- whenever you're ready."

"How much--- is there, like, a lot to do?" Harry stammered over his words.

Louis got the gist of what he was saying though. "Uh, yes... I suppose, but everyone is different and if you don't like something, we don't have to do it. We'll figure everything out."

"All right," Harry nodded, snuggling into Louis' chest, "including your mother?"

Louis swallowed, "Yes," he said honestly, "we'll figure that out too."

"Okay," Harry, "can we sleep now?"

Louis huffed out a laugh, "Yeah, love, let's go to sleep."

Louis held Harry close to his chest, enjoying his warmth and just overall presence. He could feel his heart flutter from just being close to Harry and he knew that he was falling so hard for him.

***

Everything was going well. Almost perfect, actually, aside from the fact that there was still unresolved tension between his mother and Harry, therefore also their relationship.

Still, things were looking good for Harry and Louis if they disregarded that for the time being. And Harry was being amazing as usual; growing more and more confident and comfortable with himself ever since their night together.

That all came crashing down when they went to the pub one night, late after work. Harry had to wait for Louis to finish up at the theatre before they headed home and declared that he was hungry.

Louis suggested that they go to the pub nearby because he himself was a little famished too.

They sat next to each other in the soft, leather booth, a bit too close--- maybe that was their first mistake.

Harry was basically scarfing down the plate of chips they had ordered to share but Louis didn't mind; he looked cute when he ate anyways.

Their second mistake was, well, it was mostly Louis', if he was being honest. He reached out for one of the sauce-covered chips and held it out in front of Harry's mouth. Harry didn't seem to give it a second thought as they would normally do that sort of thing when they were at home or alone anywhere. However, they weren't alone right now.

That didn't even occur to them. The pub was so busy and people were minding their own business; at least that was what Louis thought.

Harry let out a small giggle as he chewed on the chip Louis fed him then sipped on his beer.

It was okay, Louis didn't even feel anybody's eyes on them. He was sure Harry hadn't either.

Then they went to the door, Louis grabbing both of their coats off the rack and helping Harry into his, being the gentleman that he was.

He couldn't help that he looked at Harry so fondly or that he smiled so softly or even that his hand lingered at the small of his back once he had put his coat on.

As they walked out into the cold, that was when it all went to shit. The streets were more or less empty; the cold wind being their only company. Harry's hand brushed his before Harry tangled their pinky fingers.

Louis' heart stuttered in his chest. He glanced at Harry to see a delicious flush on his cheeks and ears, eyes cast downwards. Louis ignored his own flushed cheeks in favour of squeezing Harry's finger.

They hadn't even taken ten steps away from the pub when they heard a booming voice behind them.

"Hey!"

Louis and Harry both stopped, turning around with frowns on their faces. A group of four men approached them, the stench of alcohol was prominent on all of them.

The man who yelled was Darren, someone Louis knew was in and out of town and only caused trouble and he was sure the three men who accompanied him were his usual troublemaker friends.

Darren's thick black brows were furrowed, his thin lips downturned as if he was angry. He was a burly, muscular man and his friends were no different. Louis immediately felt alarm bells ring in his head the closer they stepped towards him and Harry.

Before Louis could even react, telling Harry to start walking, fast, Darren came to them, standing in front of Louis.

"Fag found himself another fag, did he?" Darren spat, the yeasty smell of beer was strong on his breath.

Louis held back the flinch and stood in front of Harry, clenching his jaw. Darren had always been an asshole. Whenever he was here, the most he would do would send Louis dirty or disapproving looks and one other time, when he was also intoxicated, he shoved Louis but was then kicked out of the bar.

Now--- now there was no one to kick him out of anything. They were already out.

"Darren, just leave us alone, yeah? We're not bothering you," Louis said as calmly as possible. He could feel the fear and tension radiate off of Harry behind him.

"Didn't you know fags aren't allowed here?" He pressed a finger into Louis' chest harshly, coming right in front of his face.

Louis swallowed, narrowing his eyes, "we're just going home," he said, again his voice was calm, "come on, Harry," he made to turn around again but a hand roughly kept him in place.

"Hey," Harry spoke up, eyebrows pinched together, "come on, there's no need for that. "

"There's no need for you either, ya fairy," one of Darren's friends commented with a dirty smirk, showing off a horribly distasteful gold tooth.

Gold Tooth moved behind Louis to Harry. Louis sprung into action then, but was caught by Darren and Darren's other friend with the dirty blonde hair.

"Fucking hell, can you just let us go?" Louis huffed, eyeing Gold Tooth and his Unibrowed friend hold Harry back by his arms.

"Not before we teach you boys a lesson," Darren chuckled darkly. Louis stomach churned.

"Stop, we won't come here again--- just let us go," Louis pleaded helplessly, fighting against the Dirty Blonde's restraint.

"Think you can go around town being all loved up with ya fairy friend there?" Darren asked, ignoring Louis' plea.

"Let him go at least, please," Louis gulped, feeling his throat clog up, watching Harry tear up while Gold Tooth prodded at his face and chuckled in delight.

"Oi, look at tha', standing up for ya boyfriend, are ya?" He let out a mocking laugh, his friends echoing it.

His laugh stopped abruptly and before Louis knew it, he was being punched right in his stomach, feeling the burn spread throughout his abdomen. He heard Harry yelp which was soon cut off by Unibrow clasping his hand over Harry's mouth.

Louis groaned, his body protesting against the restraint again in favour of hunching over and holding his stomach.

Just as Darren raised his hand again to strike a blow at Louis, another voice was heard.

"Oi! Get ya hands off 'em!" Cap'n Gilly trudged urgently towards them, the ginger boy that helped them months ago and two unknown men followed him.

"Gilly," Darren stepped away from Louis, his tone stoic.

"Get off 'em, ya pigs, go on- get!" Gilly made a shoo gesture at the other three. Only the man holding Louis let go and stood next to Darren.

"Or what?" Darren asked, raising his eyebrows in challenge, crossing his arms over his chest, his bicep muscles bulging, "your little crew gonna stop us?" He snorted , eyeing the people behind Gilly.

Louis clutched his stomach, then insitictively moved towards Harry only to pushed away by Gold Tooth who snarled at him. Louis gritted his teeth.

"The police are right around the corner--- I'm warnin' ya--- you know I'm friends with Sheriff Khan--- so you best walk away, you lot," Gilly said, scrutinizing all four of the men.

Darren's jaw clenched, "boys," he called out gruffly, "let's go--- these fairies aren't even worth it."

Louis let out a breath, watching Unibrow let go of Harry. Darren and his men walked passed Gilly and his crew, not before he bumped into Gilly's shoulder roughly.

Once they turned the corner, Louis went to Harry immediately, engulfing the boy into a hug. He held onto him tightly, hearing small sniffles escape Harry's nose. Louis felt his own cheeks getting wet but he didn't even care anymore.

"Lad..." Gilly called out softly.

Louis pulled away from Harry reluctantly, keeping his hand around Harry's waist. He sniffed and wiped his cheeks.

"Thank you, Cap," Louis croaked out, "Uh... I--- I just---" he cut himself off, letting out an exhale, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's 'oryt, yeah? You... you just take ya'selves home," he said, eyes full of sympathy.

"What about you?" Louis asked, looking at Gilly and his friends.

"We'll be fine--- headin' into the pub now anyways--- you want us to walk with yer?"

"We'll be okay, I think," Louis smiled weakly. They weren't that far away from home.

"We'll keep an eye on Darren and 'em, you boys take care, yes?" He added.

"Thank you--- so much, Gilly," Louis huffed.

"Don't mention it, kid," he nodded.

Louis smiled back at him before turning to Harry, "you okay with walking back? You want them to come with us?"

Harry's eyes were fixed on the pavement below them. He shook his head, his whole body letting out a shaky exhale.

"Okay, come on then," Louis said softly, squeezing his waist, "thanks again, Cap," he said.

Gilly wiggled his fingers as a goodbye and waited until Louis and Harry started walking before he turned around himself.

Harry shied away from Louis' grip on his waist. It was expected. It still stung but Louis understood. This wasn't easy.

Louis stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, ignoring the growing burn from his abdomen. Harry's hands rubbed over his arms, his body hunching over and silent tears falling down his cheeks.

Louis swallowed his own down, convincing himself that he had to stay strong for Harry.

Harry... he was doing so fucking well. Fuck.

When they reached the house, as expected, no one else was awake. Louis hung up his coat next to Harry's, fingers instantly grabbing his stomach.

Harry's eyes flickered towards his stomach, "is your mum's first aid kit still in the bathroom?" He asked, his tone undetectable.

Louis nodded, making a move to get it but Harry hurried towards the bathroom before he could, the stairs creaking slightly.

Louis waited awkwardly in the foyer of the house, pulling up his jumper and vest, seeing an ugly purple bruise forming on his lower right, near his hipbone.

"Louis?" A soft voice came from opposite him.

Harry stood with the kit in his hands outside his bedroom door.

Louis walked up to him, the two entering the room quietly. Louis shut the door, not missing the way Harry's eyes lingered on the closed door. He wondered if Harry didn't want to keep the door closed anymore.

"Sit," Harry instructed, not unkindly.

Louis sat at the foot of the bed. Harry placed the kit next to Louis and knelt down.

"Can you lift it up?" Harry asked quietly.

Louis nodded, lifting up his clothing for Harry to see the bruise. He studied Harry's reaction carefully. Harry winced, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat and hand shaky as he wiped some ointment over Louis' skin gently.

The pressure, however light it was, still hurt, causing Louis to hiss.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled out an apology, eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on rubbing the ointment evenly over the bruise forming.

Once he was done, he closed the kit and placed it underneath the bed then got up. Louis could only watch him as he moved to his side of the bed.

He didn't say a word as he tucked himself in. Louis' heart was beating wildly. He didn't know what to do.

With a painful swallow, he got off the bed and made his way to the door. As his hand met the golden knob, Harry spoke, soft and quiet into the night.

"Stay,"

Louis let out a breath. He gave a short nod, carefully bending down to get into the duvet and blanket before covering them both properly.

He turned to his side so that his and Harry's positions were mirroring each other. Harry stared at him, though it may have seemed blank, Louis knew it was because there was probably a lot going through his mind right now.

He wanted to badly to reach out and hold him close, his bruise be damned. He wanted to kiss him and make the pain go away and be kissed in return.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Louis could only manage to croak out, his vision blurring with tears.

"'S not your fault, Lou," he smiled, but it looked so broken and weak. Louis' stomach fluttered at the nickname, even through the pain.

"I should have known better," Louis shook his head, letting his tears flow freely.

"Lou, please just---" Harry shook his head, letting out another shaky breath, his eyes shut and cheeks wet, "--- can we hold each other?"

Louis nodded, shifting closer to Harry and placing his hand over Harry's waist, effectively pulling the boy closer too. Harry reciprocated the action until they were only a few millimeters apart, their foreheads knocking together.

He wanted to kiss him so badly but he held back once again.

Harry ducked into Louis' chest, shifting his hand a little further up to Louis' chest so that he didn't hurt Louis where his bruise was forming rapidly.

 _I've got you_ , Louis wanted to say.

He bit his lip instead, doubting how true that actually was and he kissed Harry's hair as they held each other tightly through the night, silently crying in the other's arms.

***

The morning came too quickly for Louis. He woke up in the same position he had slept in. Harry was still snoring softly but turned away from him, coiling in on himself.

Louis frowned instantly as the events from last night came back to him. He sighed and leaned forward to press a small kiss to the back of his neck.

His abdomen clenched painfully as he got up. He groaned softly, padding his way to the kitchen. It was relatively quiet, which meant that his sisters weren't awake yet.

His mother was stirring what Louis was sure was oatmeal in the pot. She startled a little at seeing him enter the kitchen. Her eyes immediately darted to where he clutched the side of his stomach.

"What happened?" She frowned.

Louis hadn't even realised that he was holding his side until he noticed her looking. He sighed, sitting down on a random chair and leaned on the table with his free arm.

"Last night," Louis started, feeling himself getting worked up again, "fuck, ma," he shook his head.

Her frown deepened. She turned the stove off and sat opposite him, grabbing his hand over the table. "Hon, what happened?"

"We were coming home from the pub and," Louis huffed, "Darren and some of his friends--- they--they just were so drunk and they saw Harry and I--- and they knew---"

His mum cut him off by squeezing his hand, "god, sweetheart," she said sadly, "what did they do? Did they hurt you?"

"Just a punch in me stomach," he shrugged, "but I'm worried about Harry, ma... He was doing so well."

"What did they do to him?" She asked gently, her eyes watering and lips trembling, "and did you tend to your wound? Does officer Khan know?"

"They were so mean to him... everything he feared--they probably just made it worse, ma--- and yeah, he helped me with my bruise but we haven't said anything to officer Khan."

"Oh god," she covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head, "god these horrid people--- I'm so sorry, love." She got off her chair and engulfed Louis into a hug.

Louis hugged back tightly, sighing into her neck, letting the warmth and familiarity of his mother ground him a bit.

"Are you going to press charges?" She asked, pulling away and rubbing his back.

"I'll discuss it with Harry," Louis decided.

"Hon... you're the one that got hurt," she said carefully.

Louis frowned, pulling away from her, "ma, he got hurt too."

"Yes, but you got hurt physically," she argued, "You should decide if you want to press charges or not."

Louis pursed his lips.

"Let me see that bruise of yours then," she said, getting up and heading to the top shelf near the fridge. He didn't even know there was a first aid kit there in the first place.

Louis lifted up his clothing, leaning back on his chair. His mum examined it carefully.

"It's not too bad, looks like what Harry did helped a little," she declared, pulling out an ointment similar to the one Harry used but pinker.

She dabbed it generously and softly, the cooling effect from the ointment already sinking into his skin.

"Is it hurting a lot?" She asked.

"It's fine. If I move a lot it starts to sting a bit but it's all right, I've had worse," he replied honestly.

"Okay, good," she smiled sadly at him, packing the kit back onto the shelf then facing him, "I think you need to tell office Khan about it, love, you and Harry."

Louis' eyes flickered up to hers, "Yeah?"

"Yes," she let out a sigh, her eyes moving to the floor, "I think I owe him an apology and maybe a bit of a talk."

Louis perked up. "Really?"

"Yes," she confirmed again, "I haven't been the best to him, have I?" She laughed mirthlessly, "and he's a good boy--- both of you are."

"I know you're protective over me, ma--- but I'm afraid my heart belongs to him now," he admitted softly, "whether you approve of it or not."

She shook her head, eyes shining and a small smile on her face, "I would never disapprove for any reason other than the fact that he hurts you but---"

"But he hasn't," Louis cut her off.

"I know," she sighed, "and it makes me just as bad as those hooligans who attacked you both for no reason, doesn't it?"

"Ma..."

"No, it's all right, love," she sniffed, smiling at him, "why don't you take somethin' to eat for the two of you in the room, yes? I don't suppose he's up for seein' anyone today and the girls will be too curious, you know how they are."

"Okay, thank you, ma," he smiled back kindly, "I'll make some toast and some tea, I think that'll do."

"Water is boiling already, let's just get that toast ready, shall we," she gestured for Louis to come over.

Louis helped make and butter some toast with strawberry jam--- Harry's favourite--- with two cups of tea, displayed neatly on a tray. Louis gave his mum a kiss on her cheek before heading to the room again.

He pushed the door opened with the back of his shoulder, spotting Harry sitting up already.

"Morning," Harry surprised him by greeting him first, "what is that?"

His tone wasn't excited, just curious and a bit somber.

Louis smiled regardless. "Brought some breakfast," he explained, sitting himself down next to Harry and placing the tray over both of their thighs.

"You shouldn't be out of bed, you're hurt," he frowned, glancing at Louis' covered stomach.

"It was just to get some breakfast, love," Louis smiled softly, touched at how worried he looked.

Harry blushed, "still--- and you need more ointment," he made to get out of bed, pushing the tray aside.

Louis grabbed his arm, "Harry, mum already gave me some--- I'm good--- just want to be with you right now, honestly."

Harry pursed his lips into a smile and nodded, moving closer to Louis again.

"Now, come on, I made toast with strawberry jam--- your favourite," Louis smiled encouragingly.

"Thank you, Lou," he smiled, placing the tray on both of their thighs again, "Did you eat?" He asked, grabbing a small piece of toast.

"No, was hoping to have some with you--- if that's okay," Louis scanned his face, unsure about how far he could go with Harry yet.

Harry bit back a growing smile, holding up the piece for Louis to take a bite of. Louis felt his heart grow a size, watching Harry look at him fondly.

It was ten minutes after, once they had finished their breakfast and sipping on their almost-cold tea, enjoying the morning air and each other's company.

"Louis... I'm so sorry," Harry started, again taking Louis by surprise.

"For what?" Louis asked, turning a little so he could look at Harry a bit better.

"Yesterday... I went too far and I should have known 'cause now you're hurt and---" his voice cracked, causing Louis to jump into action.

He grabbed Harry's hand, squeezing it so Harry could look at him. Louis' heart jumped, seeing his eyes filled with tears.

"Its not your fault that those people are shit people, darling," Louis sighed, "You did nothing wrong... If anything, I should have been a little more careful, especially knowing where we were."

Harry sniffed, his forehead falling onto Louis' shoulder, "your mum is gonna hate me even me more now, isn't she?" He whispered.

"She doesn't hate you, love," Louis kissed the side of his head, "in fact she said she wants to speak to you..."

"Yeah?" Harry looked up at him, his chin now his shoulder instead.

Louis grinned, "yes, she does..." he studied Harry's face, "please tell me how you're feeling."

Harry exhaled, pulling away from Louis, eyes on his lap, "fine... you being here really helps."

Louis smiled softly, "same here."

"I... it felt shit last night--- it still does--- but I thought it wouldn't change much by now and it did... sort of...like, yes it fucking hurts as shit and they hurt you too which made me even more mad, but... I don't have this urge, to like, run anymore, if that makes sense? All of my life, I've felt like running and even after last night... I just... I don't anymore, despite what happened."

Louis nodded, "You don't have to run anymore," he confirmed with a reassuring smile, "you're safe here--- even if last night didn't really prove that, did it?" He laughed awkwardly.

"Shit people, right?" Harry repeated in a sheepish mumble.

"Right," Louis stared at him, "can I kiss you?" He blurted out.

Harry snorted, "please."

Louis pressed his lips to Harry's softly, yet urgently, feeling his bones ease and spark at the same time.

"Come on, let me take care of you now, please?" Harry asked sweetly.

And how could Louis ever say no to that?

***

His mum suggested that they go out to the park for a picnic after being at home for the past few days.

Louis loved that idea. He was happy to see that Harry seemed to be on board with it too. He wasn't sure when Harry would be okay with them going out together again after what had happened but he didn't even hesitate before agreeing with Louis and his mum.

That was another thing he didn't quite understand or know about as yet. Louis' mother spoke to Harry two days after their pub incident. She asked to bring Harry some breakfast, shut the door, and the next thing Louis knew, half an hour later, they were both emerging out of the room, tears staining their cheeks and eyes red-rimmed.

He passed them both curious looks, hoping one of them would enlighten him to what had just happened because he was panicking but Harry just hugged Louis tightly--- staying careful of his bruise--- and thanked him.

His mother gave Louis a watery smile as she watched them hug but said nothing else. So, he didn't push for anything. Whenever Harry or his mother wanted to tell him--- if they did--- then they could.

Which was what brought them to three days later, on their trip to Willow Park.

Willow Park held a lot of memories for Louis. He had first learnt how to ride a bicycle on these very grounds, first gotten kissed here, hell, even his first hand job was right behind the big oak tree, at a little isolated end of the park.

Louis blushed at the memory, focusing on Harry's presence beside him instead. They both kept a respectable amount of distance between them. It was understandable. They were just being cautious.

Louis stopped them both at the back of the oak tree, away from most people's watchful eyes, so they could be in their own little bubble for a bit.

Harry laid out a small blanket where they both sat on, sifting through the foods from the basket to eat. They sat in silence, munching on their sandwiches, shoulders touching and bumping occasionally to which they paid no mind to.

"This place is beautiful," Harry sighed happily, watching a flock of birds pass over them.

"It is... can't stay too long though; it'll get too cold," Louis watched Harry pout.

"Its fine, thank you for bringing me here anyways, I know you hate the cold," Harry giggled softly when Louis wrinkled his nose.

"Will do a lot for you, you know," Louis said, without even giving it a second thought.

Harry looked at him, grinning, "I would do a lot for you too, Lou."

Louis felt his chest warm up. Harry leaned down, leaning his head against Louis' shoulder. Louis tensed at first but relaxed when he realised that no one could see them. He pressed a kiss to Harry's hair and let himself relax into their cuddle.

"You haven't asked about your mum," Harry said.

"Didn't want to overstep," Louis mumbled.

"Well, we spoke... and she apologised," Harry grabbed Louis' hand in his, squeezing it, "she said that she was maybe releasing her guilt and anger for not being there for you the first time 'round--- when you and Lance broke up, you know? And she saw what it did to you... she didn't want to lose you again."

"She told me something similar, I suppose," Louis huffed, "still doesn't make what she did right."

"No, and she said as much... and that she didn't get to tell that Lance fella off, like she wanted to, so it made everything worse and she just... she didn't trust me with you, basically," Harry concluded, swallowing audibly.

"Right,"

"But, she said that she's sorry and that I didn't deserve her passive aggressiveness and that she accepts me for who I am... and cares for me," there was a hint of a smile heard in his voice. Louis didn't have to look at him to know that.

"Okay... and, Uh, how do you feel about everything then?" Louis asked, pressing another kiss to his head.

"Content, I think... is that weird?" Before Louis could reply, he continued, "I know that I'm still being watched carefully by her and all that and that what we experienced shouldn't result in me being so... happy? But I am, Lou, for the first time in such a long time, I'm so happy."

Louis grinned.

"You know, me too," he replied, "it fucking sucks and I wish I could clock them all once or twice but I just don't care. They deserve to be punished, I know, but you know what? Fuck them."

Harry laughed beautifully, "yeah, fuck them."

"They'll be out of town again before you know it anyways--- if not already," Louis sniffed the curls on his hair.

Harry honked out a laugh, "are you smelling my hair?"

"You smell nice," Louis muttered, sniffing his hair again.

"What do I smell like?" He asked in a laugh.

"Home," Louis said, feeling the butterflies go wild in his tummy.

Harry shifted to look up at him, eyes already a little wet. He placed a sweet kiss on Louis' lips and held him close, nuzzling his neck while Louis' wound his arms around his body.

"You know, you smell like home too," Harry mumbled into the skin of his neck. Louis could only hold him tighter.

***

They ended up going to the carnival on Saturday evenining.

Daisy and Phoebe insisted that they go and Harry seemed just as excited about the news that the carnival was in town as the twins.

He told Louis that he hadn't been to a carnival before and that he had always wanted to go. How could Louis not ask him to go to the carnival after that.

He rambled on about tasting candy floss, corn dogs, going on a Ferris wheel and every other ride there was and attempting to win a teddy bear as well even after Louis told him those games were rigged, making them nearly impossible to win.

He just called Louis 'lame' and said he would win one for himself then.

"You have to try the UFO then," Phoebe told Harry as they walked passed the entrance.

"Which one is that?" He asked, eyes bright as they scanned the area.

"That one there that spins around!" Daisy gestured to the spinning ride where changing lights shone and excited--- maybe fearful--- screams were heard too.

"Oh, Louis, we have to do that one!" He delighted, grabbing Louis' arm.

Louis felt the colour drain from his face. Daisy and Phoebe giggled.

"Louis hates that one," Daisy said in between a giggle.

"Why?" Harry cocked his head to the side, smirking, "are you scared?"

"The rides that spin make me sick," Louis grumbled.

"Lame," Harry repeated, his tone light and playful.

Louis rolled his eyes, "come on then, let's get some tickets."

Louis purchased a few, giving some to Daisy and Phoebe, instructing them to meet them back at the ticket station when they were done. They went straight for the carousel after that, staying close to each other.

Louis turned to Harry once he saw them get onto the ride, "what would you like to do, love?"

Harry grinned, surveying his surroundings, "how about the games?" He raised a challenging eyebrow at Louis.

Louis squinted back at him, "all right, all right, let's go then, you'll see what I mean when I say that they're rigged."

True to Louis' word, the games seemed to be more or less rigged. After coming short of nothing from hoops, buckets and bottles, Harry finally admitted defeat, dramatically at that.

Still, as they walked passed the games booths, he couldn't help but notice that Harry did kind of look disappointed.

Louis let out a small sigh, more to himself, before stopping at the last one, "hey, let's try this one, yeah?" He suggested.

"Lou, you've already proven your point and I---"

"No, No, the last time mum played this one and won Lots something--- come on, let's just give it a go, I have faith in this one at least," he lied smoothly.

Harry nodded, the two stepping up to the game. It was the one with the bottles and hoops. You had to get the hoops over the bottles necks to win a prize.

Louis paid the kind-looking lady before accepting five plastic rings from her hand.

"I'll try and then you try?" Harry asked. Louis agreed, throwing the first one, eyes widening when it landed over the neck of the bottle.

He handed it to Harry. Harry's fell just to the side.

Louis tried again, but this time he had no luck.

"Regan!"

The lady who was in charge of the booth looked behind her where a person was peeping through the tent, their eyes wide.

"I need you," the boy said.

The lady-- Regan--- widened her own eyes, then turned to Louis and Harry.

"You can go, it's fine, we'll wait," Harry said. She nodded, sending them a smile each before disappearing out the tent with the boy.

Louis had an idea.

He shifted until one knee of his was over the counter top, right until it was almost at the other side, then leaned forward.

"Louis," Harry hissed, looking around worriedly while holding onto Louis' jacket, "what are you doing?"

"Getting you a teddy," Louis said determinedly, placing the last two rings over the neck of the bottle shakily and stepping away.

"Oh my god," Harry cackled. Just then, Regan came back into the little tent, eyeing them both suspiciously.

"Well, do we get a prize then?" Louis asked her.

She blinked then looked at the bottle with the hoops over it.

"Oh... um, I---I guess," she shuffled in front of them, "You can get two little ones or one big one."

She looked so confused, poor thing. Louis almost caved.

"Two little ones," Harry said. She nodded, showing them the array of stuffed animals in front of them to choose from.

Harry gasped next to him, "Lou," he pointed at a small, caramel-coloured cow stuffed animal.

"Reminds you of Dandelion?" Louis smiled fondly. Harry nodded, eyes stuck on the small animal.

"Okay, we'll take that one then," Louis told Regan. Poor girl still seemed a little apprehensive but handed them the little cow anyways.

"Get the black and white one," Harry said, happily accepting the teddy, cuddling it close.

Louis obliged, asking for the cow but the black and white version.

"What should I name her?" Louis asked as they walked away from the gaming tents and booths.

"Hmmm Chippy?" Harry suggested, laughing at Louis' disgruntled expression.

"Come on, we have to get candy floss now," Louis murmured, walking ahead of him.

They both got the cliché pink candy floss and Harry was already dragging him to toward the rides.

"Love, please not that one," Louis whined as they approached the UFO one again.

"Come on, I want the full experience," just as he turned around again, he came face-to-face with a clown who honked his little horn in Harry's face, making Harry squeak.

Louis cackled, "well, that's your full experience then."

"Clowns," Harry grumbled, "that was my first clown experience."

The clown was now giggling away to himself, walking away from the two. Louis has to bite back a laugh, looking at Harry's expression.

"We can go on the Ferris wheel then?" Harry asked, looking at Louis with pleading eyes, cotton candy pink lips and Dandelion held close to his chest.

Louis didn't even think twice before nodding, following him to the big wheel. He was sure that with a little bit more persuasion, he would have eventually agreed to go on the damn UFO with Harry because that's just how whipped he was for the boy.

The Ferris Wheel was slow taking them to the top. By the time they'd reached there, both of their candy floss was finished.

Harry was looking at the town below in awe. "It looks beautiful," he breathed out.

Louis followed his gaze. Their small, little town of Makenshire did look stunningly beautiful from up here. Houses, homes and buildings of every kind were lit, glowing magnificently in the cauldron of the night sky, people were seen chattering and laughing all over, couples hand-in-hand, families bunched together and the view of the large ocean, the waves hitting the shore delicately during the night, water sparking blue contrasting with the white of the seafoam.

"Wow," Louis couldn't help but say.

"This is what they mean when they say 'look at the bigger picture', don't they?"

When Louis turned to Harry, Harry wasn't looking down below them anymore. He was looking at Louis with fond eyes and a soft smile.

Louis felt goosebumps form through his coat and jumper, "people interpret things differently," he shrugged lamely. Harry was right. He was lame.

"Right," Harry said quietly, then looking away and smiling to himself.

As if on cue, the wheel moved down again after that.

Louis had an urge to hold his hand once they were back on the ground and walking again. He had to physically fist his hands to stop himself from grabbing Harry's that were swinging invitingly next to him.

"A photo-booth," Harry pointed out ahead of them.

"We have to do that then," Louis smiled, "come on."

Louis had never used one of these before but he'd seen them around and heard about them. Luckily for them, there were instructions on how to use it once they were inside the small booth.

Harry closed the curtain, reading the steps with Louis.

Once they both got a general idea of how to work the booth, they posed together, smiling for the picture and waiting for the blinding flash. They were at their third pose when Louis felt brave and leaned over to kiss Harry on his cheek, feeling his little dimple under his lips.

For their fourth, Harry turned his head and pressed his lips to Louis'. Louis, as expected, melted into the kiss immediately, cupping his jaw and pulling him closer.

He was sure a fifth picture went off but he didn't care because he was here and he was kissing this wonderful boy like his life depended on it.

"Wait," Harry pulled away. He stuck his hand out the curtain in search of something before pulling it back in with the strip in his hand and a slow smile forming on his lips.

Louis leaned over, looking at the pictures and he couldn't help the excited grin that took over either. They looked... happy.

In each and every picture, Louis admired how beautiful Harry looked, his curling hair falling gently over his face and beaming smile with his eyes shut when Louis kissed his cheek, his playful grin in another and how good they looked while kissing. Not to boast or anything.

But what took Louis by surprise--- maybe not much of a surprise if he really thought about it--- was the pure adoration in eyes while he looked at Harry, the passion, the admiration--- the love.

It was almost as if Harry heard his thoughts as he snapped his head to the side to look at Louis, biting on his grin.

"I love you," Louis said shakily.

Harry let out a small puff of a laugh before kissing him again, their lips moving together gently, his hands grabbing and pulling and squeezing every part of Harry that he could in the cramped space.

"I love you too," Harry mumbled against his lips, his teeth showing only for a second before Louis was sucking on his lips again, swallowing his giggle.

His chest felt warm and happy and content. He was so in love.

**

"Touch me,"

Louis paused, his lips right on Harry's pulsepoint, feeling the wild thud on his soft skin.

He moved to hover over Harry, studying his face. His cheeks were flushed all the way down to his neck and his eyes were glossed. He already looked so fucked out.

Louis' cock gave a twitch at the sight.

"Are you sure?" Louis asked, quiet into the already silent night.

"Yes, want you to feel me--- wanna feel you too," Harry said, his breathing heavy and whimpery.

"Fuck--- okay," Louis kissed him, enjoying the feeling of their lips together before pulling away, "tell me what you want."

Harry's cheeks went even more pink somehow, "uh, I--- I don't know--- you can show me?"

He was reminded then Harry had zero experience besides Louis.

"Okay," he let out a shaky breath, "hands and mouth fine?"

Harry sounded just as shaky and anxious when he agreed.

"Right," Louis pecked his nose, "Love you," he whispered, loving the way Harry smiled whenever he said it.

"I love you," Harry leaned up, joining their lips once more.

Louis pulled away quickly, making his way down Harry's body with tiny kisses and small little lovebites here and there until he reached the band of his pyjama pants. He felt the muscles of his abdomen contract and expand under his lips the more he kissed him near to where he ached the most.

"'M gonna pull it all down, okay, darling?" Louis informed him, his fingers resting over the hem.

Harry nodded, eyes shut. Louis pulled it down slowly, marvelling at the way his cock stood up, long and pink.

Once he was fully naked, Louis blew a cold breath over his cock, watching it twitch in response, Harry letting out a small moan. His eyes were still shut closed and hands fisted to the side.

"I want you to stop me if it's too much or if you don't like anything, yeah?" Louis said, mouth watering already.

"Yes," Harry breathed out.

Louis wasted no more time, kissing the head softly. Harry's body melted into the mattress, a soft groan falling from his lips.

He couldn't get enough after that. One lick and he had to have more. He stuck out his tongue, collecting the precome happily, lapping over his head and teasing his slit with gentle pokes.

Harry's head was thrown back, his mouth agape when Louis looked up at him. He smirked, swallowing most of him down his throat, gagging when Harry hit the back of his throat but thriving on the sounds he made after that.

Harry's hands came to Louis' hair, tugging at it as Louis deep-throated him, bobbing his head up and down.

When he looked up again, although his vision was blurry, he could see Harry looking down at him. He made a show of it, moving his head up and down his cock while keeping eye contact with him.

"Oh my god," Harry moaned, pulling his hair and throwing his head back again.

Just as Louis got his hand on the remaining part of his cock, Harry stopped him.

"You okay?" Louis rasped, loving how rough his voice sounded because of Harry.

"Wanna see you too," Harry managed to croak out. And dear god, his voice sounded just as bad as Louis' and he didn't even have Louis' cock in his mouth.

"Okay, yeah--- fuck," Louis fumbled with his own pants, standing up momentarily to push then down his feet then hovering over Harry again. "What do you want?"

"Wanna touch you," he said.

Louis nodded, leaning back so that he was standing on his knees, one on either side of Harry, and scooting up a bit so Harry could touch him.

His hand was shaking when he touched Louis' cock. It was hard and sore from how aroused he was.

Harry's eyes were shining, almost in fascination as he touched Louis. He moved his hand timidly over his cock, wrapping it in his fist gently.

"Fuck, feels good, love," Louis groaned.

"Feels... leathery," Harry mumbled. Louis chuckled weakly, his fingers resting over Harry's wrist to stop him.

"Let me show you something," Louis shifted, feeling Harry's cock rub against his bum briefly. He ignored the feeling in the mean time to situate himself over Harry again.

Kissing his cheek, he rutted against him, their cocks bare and rubbing together. They moaned simultaneously.

Leaning on one elbow, Louis reached down with his free hand pulling both their cocks together into his fist.

"Oh god," Harry whimpered as Louis moved his hand up and down both of their cocks, squeezing deliciously together in his fist.

Louis felt a spark shoot up spine and to his fingertips. Overcome by the pleasure of it all, he leaned forward, his forehead resting on Harry's and breathing heavily. He lifted his hand to spit onto it twice before taking their cocks back into his hand again.

Harry's eyes squeezed shut, his teeth biting into the soft skin of his bottom lip harshly.

The tug and pull was much easier and slick now.

"Look at me, darling," Louis instructed softly. Harry opened his eyes, blinking up at Louis. Louis moaned. His eyes were barely green anymore, the lustful black having taken over.

Harry's legs wrapped around Louis' waist to pull him closer, the velvety yet rough texture of Harry's cock rubbing against his continuously.

It was Louis' turn to squeeze his eyes shut, especially when Harry pushed his hips upwards, aiding the way Louis' hand moved over their cocks.

He silenced their growing moans with a hard kiss that slowly turned into lazy movements of their lips together. They just breathed in each others mouths, pushing closer and closer into each other.

Louis came with a grunt into Harry's neck, Harry following a second behind with a shout of Louis' name and biting into the pillow.

Louis collapsed next to him, trying to catch his breath. Harry let out a breathy laugh, turning lazily to face him.

"Amazing," Harry grinned.

"Yeah, yeah it was," Louis turned to his side so that they were facing each other. They stared at each other, Louis enjoying the jade green of Harry's eyes in pale moonlight.

"Tissues?" Harry finally asked, smiling softly.

"Yeah," Louis groaned, sitting up and reaching in his nightstand drawer for a bunch of tissues.

"Your room... it's..."

"It's what?" Louis asked amusedly, wiping Harry down. Harry jumped a bit, his cheeks pink and eyes on Louis'.

"It's so you," Harry concluded, reaching up to kiss Louis briefly.

Louis smiled. He wiped himself down and discarded the tissues to the side, cuddling up to Harry, his head on Louis' chest, their sweaty, sticky bodies entangled. Louis felt sated.

"Is the candle scented?" Harry asked suddenly, sniffing the air curiously.

"Oh," Louis blushed, "uh, yes---- actually..."

"Actually?" Harry probed, resting his chin on Louis' pec.

"I, uh, I bought it for you back at the market--- you know, the one at the village?"

"You did?" Harry almost gasped, beaming at Louis with his stupid dimples. Stupid, gorgeous dimples.

"Yeah, but... I just thought it was stupid so I... didn't," Louis shrugged, feeling his face heat up.

"Lou, I love scented candles," Harry smiled, "it's mine after tonight, yes?" He hummed, nuzzling into Louis' chest again.

"Whatever you want," Louis said. He was scared about the depth of that sentence because he knew he would do anything for this boy.

"I love you," Harry mumbled sleepily.

"I love you," Louis said, kissing his head and holding him tighter. He loved him so intensely and fiercely, Louis never wanted to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for reading! Please don't forget to leave a kudos and/or comment. 
> 
> They honestly make my day :,) 
> 
> So don't be afraid to let me know how you guys are feeling about everything! 
> 
> Thank you again.


	8. VIII: Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the delay guys but this chapter destroyed me.
> 
> It's also really long, so it took me a while to edit. 
> 
> The epilogue will be out by latest tomorrow. 
> 
> NB: Very brief mentions of suicide and anxiety.

During the first week of November was when they decided to take Gilly up on his offer to take a trip on his boat. They would rather go now before it gets too cold and too windy to even step out of the house and judging by the current weather, they weren't too far off from those conditions.

"Do you boys have to go out now?" Jay asked them, her eyes stuck on the tree blowing outside.

"Ma, we'll be back soon and we won't be long," Louis said, pulling his beanie on. Harry smiled fondly. He looked cute with a beanie.

"All right," she huffed, "I'm heading back underneath my blanket then."

She scurried off, rubbing her arms as she walked away and back up the stairs.

"Are you ready, love?" Louis asked him, his expression soft. Harry felt his stomach swoop. Always swooping with Louis, since the beginning.

"Yeah, just cold," Harry mumbled, stepping closer to him and placing a kiss on his cheek, "let's go."

Louis grinned, leading the way.

"Love," Louis called as they walked towards the bay.

"Yes?"

"Have you thought about going back to the farm?"

The question took him by surprise because truthfully speaking, he didn't. In fact, he hadn't since he got the news back from the letter.

"No, but I think I want to soon," Harry said decidedly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he confirmed with a smile.

"Okay, maybe we'll take a trip soon, after the new year maybe?"

"I think I'd like that,"

"And you're not... uh, you don't mind not being there or going there right now?" He asked.

"No," Harry bit his lip, "I'm... I'm happy here--- with you."

Louis' cheeks turned pink, "good, I, uh, I'm... I'm really happy with you too."

"Good," Harry giggled, bumping his elbow.

They reached the wharf when the wind started to grow heavier but not unbearable. Cap'n Gilly was untying the ropes from the boat when he spotted them.

"Mornin' boys," he greeted.

"Cap," Louis saluted and Harry waved.

"Ready to take a lil' fishin' trip then?" He straightened himself out, the wood creaking underneath them.

"As I'll ever be," Louis shrugged, "Harry has never fished before."

Harry suppressed the urge to groan.

"Oh well this should be fun then!" He let out a belly-laugh and gestured them over.

Harry gulped uneasily, watching the water swish by in small waves next to him, swaying the wood slightly.

Gilly stepped onto the boat, followed by Louis and then Louis helped Harry on board. Harry exhaled heavily once his feet hit the deck.

Louis and Cap'n started a conversation that Harry tuned out in favour of looking down the ledge at the waves hitting the bottom of the boat, moving with the wind and crashing harshly.

His eyes were fixed as the water moved, suddenly it was like he could feel the waves crash against himself in harsh successions, pulling and pushing him away.

A large one pushed him under abruptly and his airway was cut off. He tried and tried to take a deep breath but nothing happened, he couldn't--- he couldn't do anything. He was pushing to get up but his body wasn't moving no matter how hard he pushed.

There was a warmth on his cheek then and the faint sound of a voice. He knew that voice.

"Harry, love," he patted his cheek, "hey, hey, breathe."

And he tried. He was trying to but nothing was happening. His head hit a sharp, cold metal and everything came in blurry shots after that.

His body was moving all of a sudden but he didn't feel like he was controlling it. He saw Louis' worried face above him, calling out for him then to someone else, and then everything went black.

***

The first thing Harry felt when he woke up was a sharp pain in his head, followed by warmth over his back. He groaned, opening one eye slowly to peek down, noticing a hand over his stomach. Louis' hand.

"You awake, darling?" Came Louis' voice.

"Yeah," Harry blinked a few times before turning around in his arms. He met Louis' worried expression with a tired smile.

"How are you feeling?" Louis moved a piece of his hair behind his ear, eyebrows furrowed.

"Just tired, you?"

"I'm fine," Louis nudged their noses together sweetly, "You remember what happened?"

Harry nodded solemnly, avoiding his eyes, "I'm sorry---"

"No, I'm sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about. I should have known," he huffed.

"You couldn't have known, Lou, it's fine," Harry thumbed his cheekbones, "I'm fine, I'm just sorry we couldn't enjoy our trip on the boat."

"It's fine, honestly," Louis kissed the heel of his palm, "we can do something else soon."

"And Gilly," Harry sighed, "god, I need to apologise to him too."

"He understands, love, it's okay," Louis tried to reassure him.

"It's not," Harry shook his head, swallowing, "I'll apologise... somehow make it up to him--- does he like anything else?"

Louis sighed softly, probably knowing by now that there's no use arguing with Harry once he made up his mind. "We can maybe have a pint with him one of the days, I think he'll like that."

"Okay, done," Harry nodded.

There was a brief silence.

"You sure you're okay, love? Gave me a scare there," he chuckled but it was nervous and mirthless.

"I'm fine--- I'm sorry I scared you... I had no idea that would happen," Harry moved closer to Louis, his forehead resting on his chest.

"It's all right, really," Louis ran his fingers gently through his knotted hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Harry bit his lip in contemplation for a short moment before he began, "just felt... uneasy, like weird, and then all of a sudden I felt like I couldn't breathe--- it was so scary, Lou."

"I'm so sorry," he kissed the crown of Harry's head, "when---when I felt for your pulse, it was like, fading away... god, I swear I've never been so scared in my entire life--- I'm so glad you're okay now. Mum said you must have had some sort of insticintive reaction to trauma you experienced back when I found you, you know, in the ocean."

"Yeah... I figured as much," Harry mumbled, playing with the light dust of hair on his chest.

"Have you had anything like that before?"

"When I was younger I used to have a few and when... when I realised I might like you more than I thought, uh, I felt a similar thing but it wasn't too bad."

Louis only held him closer, "do you want something to eat or drink?"

"Just now... just wanna lay with you for a while," Harry replied quietly.

"Okay," he kissed his head again, "I'm glad you're fine now."

"Me too,"

In a few minutes, Louis was snoring softly again. Harry looked up at him, endeared. He smiled fondly and placed a kiss on his forehead.

Louis must have been worried, which meant he probably didn't get much sleep. Harry couldn't help but feel responsible for that. So, he left the bed as quietly as he could, tugging the blanket up to his shoulders and placing another quick kiss on his forehead before heading to the kitchen.

He had a bit of a headache that spread around the expanse of his forehead but otherwise, he was doing okay, truthfully. He just felt an immense amount of guilt for ruining their day yesterday. He should probably make it up to Louis somehow.

***

"Good morning,"

"Morning, love," Louis approached him, placing a kiss on his cheek, "what's all this?"

Harry preened when Louis wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, his smell intoxicating.

"Made you some breakfast--- you're not going to work today, by the way," Harry turned to press a kiss to his cheek, watching his face contort.

"What?" He pulled away to stand next to Harry.

"Lottie went this morning to the bakery to cover my shift and she stopped by Finn's to let him know you won't be going either," Harry explained, spooning pancake mixture into the pan.

"Wait--- What? Why?"

"Because I wanted to have you take a day off-- let me take care of you for once, you take care of everyone else all the time, you deserve this," he said softly, kissing his forehead quickly.

"But--- Wait, where's mum? And the twins?"

"Your mum and the girls went to her friend's place for the day; apparently her friend has just become a grandma," Harry grinned.

"You had this all planned out," Louis mumbled, his lips twitching slightly.

"I did," Harry plated the last bit of pancakes and turned around to place it on the table, "now come on, let's eat--- I have more planned for the day."

"You do?" Louis raised an eyebrow at him as Harry passed him a plate full of pancakes, eggs and some bacon.

"Yes, come on, sit next to me," he patted the chair, dishing out his own helping of eggs and pancakes.

Louis laughed, taking a seat next to him and eating his breakfast. It all felt... domestic to Harry and he loved it. Louis practically sat on top of him, they fed each other(Louis almost gave him bacon but then remembered he couldn't) and shared slow, sweet kisses in between.

It was perfect to Harry.

"You don't have to help me wash the dishes, you know?" Harry said, watching Louis scrub the pan.

"You made me breakfast, it's the least I can do, love," he kissed his cheek swiftly.

So they washed dishes together too and it made Harry's heart swell. He yearned for something like this for years back when he was on the farm and now, now he finally has it.

Aside from Dandelion and occasionally Rose, Harry found that he didn't miss much else, not even his father. He wondered if that made him a terrible person.

"What's on your mind?" Louis rested his chin over Harry's shoulder, pressing kisses along his neck.

Harry smiled, wiping his hands dry before turning around in his arms.

"Just... happy, that's all," Harry replied, partially honest. It was the only thing that mattered anyhow.

"Yeah? Wonder why," Louis hummed playfully, kissing underneath his jaw teasingly.

Harry tilted his head to allow him more access, shifting closer to Louis.

"You, just---" a low moan cut him off, "just you," he breathed as Louis sucked a bruise right above his collarbone.

Louis hummed, almost approvingly, reaching Harry's lips again and finally,  _finally_ , kissing him.

Harry felt goosebumps erupt down his arms as Louis ran his tongue over Harry's lips. He gave a cheeky squeeze to Harry's bum.

Harry huffed out a laugh against his lips, effectively breaking the kiss. Louis smiled against his lips.

"Was that okay?" He mumbled, placing a few kisses over his face.

"You've squeezed my bum before, Lou," Harry laughed, tugging his hair so that their lips met again.

Louis' tongue met his instantly, roaming around his mouth, holding Harry impossibly closer.

"Lou," Harry breathed, "wanna do something for you."

Louis pulled back, studying his eyes, "what do you want to do, love?"

"Wanna do what you do to me," Harry swallowed, waiting for his reaction.

"Wanna suck me off?" Louis smirked

"Foul--- it sounds so foul," Harry wrinkled his nose.

"It's what you do though, darling," he chuckled.

"I know... you'll help me, right?" Harry played with ends of Louis' growing hair, knowing it got Louis practically into a puddle whenever he did that.

"Yes, of course, always," he kissed Harry's nose.

"Good," Harry turned them around in one swift movement and got down on his knees.

Louis stared down at him, shocked at the sudden turn of events but there was a sparkle in his eye he couldn't deny.

Harry smiled up at him before pulling his pants down, coming to contact with Louis' half hard cock, thick and awaiting. He licked his lips, recalling what Louis would do to him whenever they did this.

Quickly, he sucked at the head of his cock, eliciting a deep groan from Louis. Harry hummed happily, sucking on the head, just like Louis did.

"Shit, love, you can lick up and down if you can," he stammered through his words.

Harry nodded, doing as instructed, tentatively darting out his tongue to swipe over the velvety feeling.

It wasn't the worst thing Harry had in his mouth, just different. In fact he liked the feeling of something so heavy in his mouth.

Overcome by the new pleasuring sensation, Harry swallowed him down as much as he could, Louis hitting the back of his throat when he cursed loudly, grabbing Harry's hair.

"No teeth, love," he hissed suddenly.

Harry pulled away, giggling, "sorry, " he croaked out.

When Louis looked down at him again, his chest was flushed red and cheeks pink, breathing heavily. "You're insane," he laughed breathily.

Harry bit his lip before engulfing Louis in his mouth again, moaning at the heaviness of it.

Harry remembered what Louis had done and started to move back and forth over his cock, bobbing his head.

Louis' moans grew louder, his hand tightening in Harry's hair.

It wasn't long after that he released in Harry's mouth. Harry sputtered but tried to remain as still as possible as Louis came down his throat.

The taste was not the best but it wasn't the worst. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, watching Louis compose himself again.

As soon as he got to his feet again, Louis grabbed him and kissed him hard, not giving a care in the world that Harry had just swallowed his fucking come.

"Lou, we have to get to---"

"Let me finish you off first," Louis whispered, giving him one last peck before Harry was against the wall and his cock was down Louis' throat.

***

Harry's surprise for Louis was taking him to the bakery while it was closed for a lunch break. That way, they had the bakery to themselves and Harry could give Louis his apple crumble that he had been craving for so long.

When he saw Harry bringing the plate of crumble out, his eyes lit up and he smiled slowly.

"No way, finally! It's made by you, yes?" He asked excitedly, accepting the plate kindly. Harry shifted the chair next to Louis and sat down.

"Yes, of course," Harry scoffed, "I promised you it and I've been getting really good at making it too."

"Smells incredible," he mumbled, grabbing a fork and digging in, placing a piece in his mouth and moaning obscenely.

Harry chuckled, "I'm guessing you like it then."

He leaned on the table with his elbow, looking at Louis expectantly as he practically scarfed down the piece of dessert.

"Fucking good, thank you," he said over chewing, some of the crumble landing on the corner of his mouth.

Generally, that wouldn't be the most attractive thing but Harry was so endeared and so in love, he couldn't help but stare fondly before picking up a serviette and wiping it off.

"Sorry," Louis mumbled with a small chuckle, his cheeks turning pink.

"'S okay. I'm glad you like it,"

Harry couldn't stop staring because Louis was just too fucking adorable for him to handle.

"I love you," Harry blurted out.

Louis licked his lips, turning to Harry. He grabbed Harry's free hand and kissed his temple. "I love you," he pecked down to the corner of Harry's mouth.

Harry enjoyed the fluttering in his stomach when Louis kissed him, thoroughly happy that they had the bakery to themselves for a while.

"Hey, Lou," he mumbled through their kisses.

"Yeah?" He pulled away, staring at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Did you enjoy the crumble?"

Louis snorted, hanging his head for a second before placing a hard kiss on Harry's lips, "very much so."

After a few minutes of lazy kissing and beaming smiles into each others mouths, they cleaned up their table and left the bakery. Harry had to lock up again before they took a stroll back home.

It was when they past the florist that Harry heard his name being called out.

He turned around, confused, coming face-to-face with a petite, blonde man with a scruffy beard, walking closer to him.

"Bloody hell, it really is you!" He exclaimed, smiling widely.

"Sorry, what?" Louis asked from next to him.

"You're--- you're here! Everyone is worried sick --- we all thought you were gone!" He said, staring at Harry as if he didn't believe he was right in front of him.

Harry frowned. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

The man's smile fell. "What? Harry, it's me, Phil, from the grocery store, remember?"

"I'm sorry," he shook his head, "are you--- are you from the farm?"

Phil frowned this time, giving him a questioning look. "Farm? What farm? There's only one farm in Deckenville and it's certainly not yours," he chuckled lowly.

"Deckenville?" Harry's frown deepened.

Just then, someone else called out Phil's name. The blonde man turned around to the brunette man.

"Oi! We have to leave!" The brunette man said.

Phil told him that he would be there soon then turned to Harry again. "You really need to come back home, Harry. Every one is worried sick! They'll be happy you're alive though!"

The brunette man called out Phil's name again.

"Hope to see you back in Deckenville soon!" He said before turning away and jogging swiftly to his friend.

Harry's frown hadn't left his face. He turned to Louis, who looked just as confused.

"Deckenville? I moved to Deckenville?" Harry asked, more to himself, tone perplexed.

"Seems like it," Louis mumbled, "come on let's get home, we can talk about it more there."

Harry agreed. The two went back home in silence, probably both still in shock and confused about what just happened.

When Louis started the fire and they both cuddled up on the couch, they spoke about it again.

"So, Deckenville?" Louis asked. Harry saw his Adams apple bobbing in his throat.

"Yeah, apparently," he whispered, resting his hand on Louis' thigh. Louis grabbed it, intertwining their fingers.

"Do you--- uh, what do you want to do about it?" Louis asked.

"I---I don't even know... I have so many questions. Why Deckenville? Who did he mean by 'everyone'? How do I know him? When did I move?" Harry's brain hurt from the questions that came to him.

"Do you want to... go there?" Louis asked carefully.

Harry bit his lip, leaning on Louis' shoulder. He huffed. "I don't know... What do you think I should do?"

"It's up to you, love. I'll support you with anything you decide, you know that," Louis squeezed his hand but there was something off about his tone.

Harry looked up at him, "Lou, I'm not leaving you, you know that, right? For anything--- even if I have--- had--- a life somewhere else, you're my life now and nothing is gonna change that."

Louis smiled, his eyes shining with unshed tears, "are--- are you sure? Harry, you could have everything back in Deckenville and--- and I can't give up what I have here, you know?"

Harry cupped his jaw, nudging their noses together, "I know, Louis. It doesn't matter. I have a life here too now."

Louis nodded, kissing the side of his hand. "I'm sorry--- I do love you--- you're it for me, you know?"

Harry bit his lip, kissing Louis softly, "I love you," he kissed him once more, "I think I want to visit though..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I think it'll help me a little with some of the questions I have and I'll get some closure, I think," Harry explained.

He could find out how he even got to sea in the first place, who did he know, how did his father pass--- apparently 'everyone' missed him and knew him, perhaps they had some answers. He could find Phil again, maybe.

"All right," Louis nodded, smiling reassuringly.

"You'll come with me, yes?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, yeah if you want me to, I will,"

"Thank you," Harry sighed happily, cuddling his chest. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders to pull him closer.

The twins and Jay returned a few minutes after. Harry and Louis informed them about what had happened.

"How do you know he's not pulling one on ya?" Daisy asked.

"You should have seen his face... It didn't seem like he was joking around or anything, it seemed like he genuinely knew me," Harry said.

"And when Harry couldn't recognise him, he looked upset about it... I don't think he was lying," Louis added.

"So, what now? Are you going back to Deckenville?" Jay asked, looking at Harry curiously.

"I want to go--- but not forever or anything like that. I just want to see where I was from after the farm, I want to get some sort of answers and closure about everything," Harry said quickly.

"And you're sure that's what you want to do?" Jay pressed, searching his eyes.

"Yes, I---is that okay? My life is here now... with Lou," he said softly, looking at Louis.

"Of course that's okay," she said, smiling at the two, "as long as you're sure about it."

"I am," Harry nodded confidently.

"When do you plan on leaving then?" She asked next.

"Well, we didn't discuss it but I was thinking it would be good to leave Friday afternoon? I could get off from the theatre and we would be back Monday afternoon."

Harry pondered over the idea then nodded. "Yeah, that sounds fine. I'm sure Julia will understand."

"And we rather go now while we can before the the holiday season gets into full swing, yeah?"

"Sounds good," Harry agreed.

"All right, well you have to get your tickets from the station soon then."

"Yeah, I'll go with Harry tomorrow after work," Louis said, squeezing his arm.

"All right," she sighed then smiled, "I hope you two had a good day today."

They looked at each other, grinning. "We did," they said simultaneously.

Jay chuckled, Daisy gagged and Phoebe cooed at them.

It was safe to say that Harry wouldn't want to leave this at all. Besides, Louis, the twins, Lottie and even Jay had become as good as his own family now, nothing could make him leave all of it behind.

***

That night he decided to sleep in Louis' room. He was just--- he felt lonely when he wasn't with Louis and he actually missed him whenever they were apart, even if it was barely five feet away.

"What are you smiling about?" Louis poked his nose, snaking his arm around Harry's waist.

"You--- making me happy," Harry said honestly.

"Again? Gave me that answer this morning already, love,"

"Well, it hasn't stopped," Harry shrugged, his fingers finding their way to Louis' hair, brushing the strands off of his forehead.

"You make insanely happy too, by the way," Louis mumbled, eyes shut as he reveled in the way Harry played with his hair.

"Good," Harry kissed his forehead, continuing to play with his hair.

"Nervous for this weekend?" Louis asked, eyes already sleep-heavy.

"Sort of... dunno what to expect," Harry murmured, watching his eyes droop. He smiled, "tired?"

He nodded lethargically, "feels nice," he rasped.

Harry shifted closer till they were nose-to-nose. He gave him an Eskimo kiss, feeling fluttery when Louis grinned widely.

"Love you, darling, lots," Louis said sleepily.

Harry doesn't think he will ever get tired of hearing that.

"Love you," he placed a kiss on his nose before cuddling closer and closing his eyes, his hands still moving lazily over Louis' hair before he felt slumber taking over.

He dreamt of pale blue eyes, thin feathery hair and soft pink lips. His heart felt happy.

Everything was perfect.

***

Everything was not perfect. Harry could not stop throwing up and he wasn't sure why. Jay said it was because he was nervous and while that may be true, he had a feeling the train ride was making it worse.

"Oh, love, are you sure you want to do this? We can go back," Louis rubbed his back as he puked his guts out into a paper bag.

"No," Harry said, catching his breath as he pulled away, "'m fine, just... just a little nervous, that's all."

Of course he was nervous. He didn't know what to expect at all. He had been missing a whole year of his life. That thought had only occurred to him when they were on their way to the station this morning.

What was he doing? Where was he staying? Did he work with Phil? Maybe that was how he knew Harry. There were more and more questions as the minutes went by.

Louis was great throughout though, lending his hand or shoulder whenever he needed it. The train ride took almost a whole day so they would only reach Deckenville at the early hours of the morning.

"Any plan of action, love?" Louis asked, Harry's head rested on his shoulder, eyes drooping already.

"Probably try and find Phil--- your mum said DeckenVille is as small as Makenshire so I'm sure if we ask around, people will know who he is," he mumbled.

"Okay," he placed a small kiss on Harry's head, "mum said there's a motel right near the train station so I'll book us in for tomorrow night, yeah?"

"Sounds good," Harry said, only half awake.

He was thankful that majority of the people on board were already asleep, otherwise he wouldn't be as close to Louis as he was.

Soon he drifted off.

***

When he woke up, it was to Louis rubbing his arm gently and whispering his name. He grumbled a bit before slowly opening his eyes. He smiled at Louis.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked Louis.

"It was all right... don't sleep well in anything that moves. How did you sleep? Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, loads," Harry replied, "we're here then?" He asked, scanning the outside of the window.

"Yeah, come on, we'll get to the motel," he patted Harry's thigh before getting up.

Harry noticed then that a few people were moving to get out of the train already, pushing and turning. Louis managed to reach up into a kubee to pull out their bag.

They decided to share one as they wouldn't know how many days they'd stay and even if they were to stay the weekend, it wouldn't be too many clothes to pack.

If they didn't find anything today, Louis suggested they get back home tomorrow afternoon instead of Monday. Harry agreed, not wanting to waste his time if he couldn't find anything.

An unsettling feeling curdled at the bottom of his stomach, twisting and turning as they made their way to the nearby motel in a taxi cab.

"Maybe it's just the nausea from the train ride," Louis said, eyebrows pinched in concern while he rubbed the small of Harry's back discreetly.

"Probably," Harry mumbled, leaning his head against the window. He had a feeling it was more than that but didn't dwell on it. Maybe he was just scared that they'd wasted a trip here, just going back finding out nothing.

Aside from the scrutinizing look from the lady at the front desk, Louis and Harry settled at the motel pretty well. They were both knackered from their journey and it was only 4 in the morning. They had plenty of time to rest up before they began their search around town.

Besides, Harry could see how tired and tense Louis looked. He needed it a lot. And he looked adorable when he was sleepy.

"Hey, Lou," Harry mumbled, watching Louis' eyes drift shut.

Louis hummed.

"This might be a weird time but I don't think I'll have the guts or energy to ask you this again anytime soon-- it's the tiredness talking-- but can you tell me how it works?"

Louis pinched his brows together, now wide awake and curious. "How what works, love?"

And Harry loved that about Louis. He was never impatient or short with Harry, no matter the circumstances. He was soft and kind and amazing.

"You know... sex... like the--- the real stuff," he gulped.

"Well," he huffed, now pushing himself up with one elbow, "first of all, what we do already is sex, you don't have to do anything else for it to be considered that, second, if you mean penetration, generally it goes up your bum---- or mine for that matter--- which I think you've figured out already, yeah?"

Harry nodded, his cheeks heating up. "Yeah but... how? Doesn't it hurt?"

"It does at first... that's why you use a lubricant of some sort, to make it, uh, slide in easier? Like sometimes it's spit, but I prefer using olive oil--- it's a little more wet, you know?"

He could see Louis' cheeks turn red even in the dark. But, he knew that they were comfortable with each other, enough to talk about things like this.

"Oh..." Harry tried to picture it in his head, "do we... do we have to do it?"

It didn't sound very appealing to Harry, if he was being totally honest. Neither one did; up his bum or someone else's.

"No, absolutely not. If you're not up for it or you don't like it then we won't at all, darling. I don't care. I love you, that's all that matters to me," Louis said softly, genuinely and fiercely.

Harry loved him.

"I--- I don't know if I want to try It," he admitted, exhaling shakily.

"That's fine--- not everyone is into it," Louis kissed him gently.

Harry smiled, "did you, um, like it?"

It made him slightly jealous, but he quickly reminded himself that Louis was here and he was Harry's now.

"Um, I did--- but I enjoy everything we do too, anything feels incredible with you," Louis said, smiling.

"You're sure?" Harry asked nervously. He couldn't help himself.

"More than sure," Louis kissed him again.

"I mean... maybe we could try it one day... I just don't think I would like it much," he wrinkled his nose.

"Fine by me, we do this at your pace, yeah?"

"What about you though? You liked it and what if I really don't?"

"Harry, I've just said, anything with you feels amazing. You don't have to put your cock up my arse or vice versa to make me feel good," he explained.

"Okay," Harry nodded, swallowing again, "Okay then."

He trusted Louis more than anything. He knew that whatever they did, they moved in sync and unanimously.

"What made you think of that so randomly?" Louis giggled, collapsing onto his side again, Harry pulling him closer.

"You looked beautiful," Harry shrugged, "reminded me of everything we do and one thing led to another, you know?"

"Thanks, love. You're not too bad yourself," he winked, "You want to get sleep now? We can leave now if you want to."

Harry grinned. He kissed Louis' forehead. "Sleep, Lou, it's fine. We'll get going later, Yeah?"

"All right," he murmured with a small smile. They held each other again in their deep slumber.

***

They went to the diner nearby a few hours later. It was ten in the morning and they were both beyond starving. The diner they went to was called  _Gertrude's_  and it was packed. They were lucky enough to find a booth at the far corner.

"You nervous, love?" Louis asked as the scanned the menus.

"Can you tell?" Harry asked, his thumbnail being chewed off in his mouth.

"You're close to having no nails left and your leg has not stopped bouncing," Louis said pointedly, smiling.

Harry momentarily stopped chewing on his thumbnail. "Its just... I don't know what to expect, you know?"

"I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now," he said, his face was nothing but sympathetic.

Harry smiled back at him as a response. His appetite was slowly fading away the more he thought about what could happen.

"Morning, boys. What can I get ya?" A lady with ginger hair tied into a loose ponytail came up to them to help, her name tag read,  _Heather_.

She glanced between the two of them but her eyes were drifting more towards Harry. Harry shifted in his seat. Just as Louis was about to order them both coffees, she spoke over him.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" She asked Harry, brows knitted.

Harry swallowed, "uh, I--- I don't know."

She stared for a minute longer before shaking her head, "sorry about that, you just look awfully familiar," she passed him one last glance then looked at Louis, "what can I get ya?"

"Uh, we'll take two coffees for now--- haven't decided on what to eat yet," Louis said, smiling tightly at her as she walked away to bring them their coffees.

"Wow, seems like you must have been Well known around here," Louis muttered, staring down at his menu.

"No one else recognised me yet," Harry frowned, "maybe we should ask her if she knows Phil."

"We could, yeah," Louis smiled, "let's get you something to eat first, yes?"

Harry nodded, even though he knew he wasn't feeling like eating right now, he wouldn't get away with it with Louis being here.

They ended up ordering a few pancakes that they shared and Heather didn't seem to have any further questions for Harry. It calmed him down a bit. He loved attention but not in this scenario. 

It was only until they made their way out the diner that someone else seemed to recognise Harry that wasn't Phil or Heather.

"Harry? Oh my god, Harry it's you!" The boy exclaimed. He couldn't have been older than sixteen.

Harry blanched a bit when the boy hugged Harry. "I can't believe you're here! Everyone thought you were dead---- I knew you weren't."

He smiled widely at Harry, showing off his crooked bunny teeth.

"Uh, I--- who--- who are you, again?" Harry asked quietly, feeling bad instantly when he saw the boy's smile turn into a frown.

Louis stood closer to Harry, probably sensing his upset mood.

"I'm Toni, remember? From the post office?" His enthusiasm and excitement died down, face pale and mouth frowning.

"I--- I'm sorry," Harry gulped, feeling emotional over not knowing who this boy was.

"Where have you been? Diana and the France's have been worried sick about ya!" Another boy came up to them, around Toni's age, though he was shorter and thinner.

"What?" Harry asked, feeling more perplexed than ever.

"Where, um, Diana and the France's, you said?" The boys nodded, "could you perhaps show us where they are right now?" Louis asked politely.

The shorter boy frowned now. "Forgotten where you live, Harry?" He asked then with a teasing smirk.

Toni placed a hand on the other boys chest, making him quiet, his expression was somber when he pointed up the hill to their left. "The biggest house right up the hill there," he said.

Toni could obviously sense that something was wrong but the shorter boy hadn't caught on, just confused. Harry could relate.

"Thank you, Toni and..."

"Don," the shorter one said happily then turned to Harry, "you'll come visit us down at the park again every Saturday again, won't you?"

"I--- I don't know," Harry said, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Don, let's get to Mr. Smith before he has our heads, Yeah?" Toni said suddenly, pulling the boy away before giving them both a sad wave. "Hope to see ya soon again, Harry," he ended with before turning around fully.

Harry could only stand there in shock.

"Hey, are you okay?" Louis tugged his arm.

Harry blinked before looking at Louis. He bit his bottom lip, shaking his head.

Louis sighed then pulled Harry aside until they both were behind the diner, hidden in an alleyway.

"Harry, we don't have to do this, you know? We can go back right now if you want to," Louis cupped his cheeks, searching his eyes.

"It's just," Harry shook his head, his eyes blurring, "those boys... they knew me and I had no idea who they were and---and god, how many other people am I not going to remember and just disappoint? Who's Diana and the France's?"

"Look, love, I know this must be hard for you, but we knew this wasn't going to be easy, right? But, I'm here and we'll do this together. Even if you don't remember them, you can get to know them all over again. That's incredible, isn't it?"

Harry took a deep breath, nodding shortly.

"I'm right here with you every step of the way, darling. We can do this--- everything will be fine. We're going to go up to that expensive-looking house on the hill and we're going to meet Diana and the France's and everything will all be okay, yeah?"

Harry nodded again. Louis smiled softly.

"Come on--- do you want to take a break, perhaps? We could go back to the motel if you'd like?"

"Its fine... we can head up. I'll have enough time to gather myself on our way up," Harry said.

"Only if you're sure,"

"I am,"

Louis nodded, kissing his forehead quickly, "let's go then," he smiled reassuringly at him.

Harry took another deep breath. He could do this. They could do this. They've come so far, Harry was not going to let that go to waste.

They walked out the alleyway and caught a cab. Louis insisted, saying that a walk up would be torturous. Harry already had a bit of trouble breathing--- he didn't want to make it worse--- so he agreed.

The taxi driver didn't recognise him, thankfully, but seemed curious when they told him where they wanted to go. He said nothing, starting the drive up to the big house on the hill.

The house looked massive already from here, he couldn't imagine how it would up close. It stood proudly, most likely overlooking majority of the town and the ocean nearby.

Louis grabbed Harry's hand and squeezed it on the seat of the car, making sure they were out of sight from the taxi driver.

Harry smiled at him. He was thankful to have Louis here with him. He didn't think he would be able to do any of this without Louis by his side.

True to his word, by the time the cab had stopped outside of the massive house, Harry was relatively calmer. In all honesty, he was just looking forward to going back home with Louis now, once it was all over.

"Come on, let's find out who these people are," Louis murmured.

They paid the driver and walked up to the front of the house. It was massive up close. Though there were no gates or fence or even a wall of any kind.

The actual walls of the house were a bright white with a red-brick pillar placed on the right side of the door. The door itself was double Harry's size, standing tall, heavy and a deep rich wooden colour with a shiny gold knob.

Louis knocked on the door twice, then stood next to Harry again, pressing a kiss to his cheek quickly. Harry smiled.

"Love you," Louis said quietly, smiling fondly.

Harry looked at him, returning his giddy smile, "I love you."

The door creaked open then, revealing an elderly lady wearing a long, black dress and a white apron. Her eyes widened instantly when they landed on Harry and shortly after started to fill with tears.

She covered her mouth with her hands as her cheek got wet, fingers shaking when she reached out for him. "Oh my--- is it actually you, Harry?" She asked, sounding close to sobbing.

Before Harry could even reply, her hands touched his cheeks and she pulled back as if she had been burnt, this time letting out a sob.

"It is--- Oh, it is you!" She cried, "come in, oh Harry, how we've missed you!"

She opened the door fully and grabbed at Harry's hand, pulling him in before Harry could even protest.

He looked at Louis with worried eyes. She seemed to have noticed as well and turned to Louis too.

"Are you a friend of Harry's? You've brought him back, have ya? Come on in!" She said swiftly, gesturing inside.

Louis stepped in, his hand instantly going to Harry's waist and mouth near his ear. "Are you okay?" He whispered.

"I don't know," Harry replied shakily.

"Oh, I can't believe you're back! I knew you'd come back to us! Let me go get Diana! Please sit," she gestured towards their right where an archway was, leading to what seemed like a living room.

She scurried away, leaving Harry and Louis alone.

"Come here," Louis opened up his arms.

Harry happily accepted his hug, taking a few deep breaths.

"Everything will be fine. We'll go home after this, okay?" He rubbed his thumb over Harry's spine soothingly.

"Okay," Harry said earnestly, pulling away, "I'm glad we're doing this."

"You're sure?" Louis asked, searching his eyes.

"I'm sure," he nodded.

They headed to the living room tentatively, sitting down on the edge of the two seater couch and waiting anxiously.

"Who do you think these people are?" Louis finally asked.

Harry shrugged. "They could have been friends with my father or relatives of my mother."

"But you don't know them?" Louis frowned. His smell was so intoxicating, covering the floral smell of the humongous living room. He was distracting Harry.

"I've never really met any of my father's friends nor have I met most of my mother's relatives," Harry replied. He wanted to cuddle up to Louis right about now, just soak him up because the feeling in his gut worsened as the seconds ticked by.

Just as Louis opened his mouth to reply, a woman with long blonde hair and a much too fancy dress came charging into the living room, crying out when she spotted Harry, her hands over her mouth just like the other lady reacted.

"Oh, Harry," she sniffed, walking slowly towards him as if she was scared before taking the final few steps quicker and leaning down to engulf him into a hug, now on her knees.

Harry tried his best to hug back before she pulled away and cradled his face. Her eyes were blue like Louis' but nowhere near as beautiful.

"You're home," she sobbed, cheeks wet.

Harry's stomach curdled at the words.

"What happened to you? Where have you been? Are you hurt?" She began examining his features and touching his face then neck.

Harry squirmed a little.

"I found him at sea," Louis spoke up. The lady turned to Louis for the first time since she walked in.

"You found him?" She asked, sniffing still.

"He was, uh, he was lost at sea--- hit his head and I went in to rescue him," Louis explained, his voice much more subdued than Harry was used to.

"You rescued my Harry?" She sobbed again and stood up, walking closer to Louis, "what can I do to repay you?"

 _My Harry_.

"Oh, no-- uh, I just--- you don't have to do anything, really," Louis said quickly.

"I insist--- you must tell me what happened," she turned to Harry again, "we all were worried sick about you."

"I, uh, I'm sorry," he replied lamely.

"Its fine," she smiled, small and sadly, "do you need anything, Harry? I can get you some tea--- we can talk about happened-- I can't believe you're here again," she reached out for his hand and squeezed it before turning to the elderly lady who greeted them.

"Mrs. Robertson, please fetch some tea and snacks for our guests," she instructed.

The older lady nodded once, "Yes, Ms. Diana."

She left the room shortly after.

"Oh, Harry," she sniffed again, her lip trembling. She sat on the armchair near Harry and gazed at him almost in wonder as if he were something out of this world, "you're home."

Again, his stomach curdled.

"Thank you, Mr..." She looked at Louis.

"Tomlinson--- but Louis is fine, really,"

"Well, thank you, Louis--- for bringing my husband back to me,"

Harry almost choked on his spit, his heart beating wildly. He stared at her in shock.

"Wh-what?" Harry asked, feeling a little scared that he'd heard her correctly and she just said  _husband_.

She frowned, "what's wrong?"

"Husband? I'm your husband?" He asked, almost frantic.

"Yes," she said, frown deepening, "Harry--- what are you doing? Do you not remember?" She gasped.

"I---"

"I need some air," Louis said, clearing his throat.

Diana pointed to the door in front of them, "uh--- that's the back door if you want to use it," she looked at him curiously as Louis sauntered out of the house.

Harry felt more panicked. Louis. He needed Louis. He can't--- he wasn't someone's  _husband_. Absolutely not.

"Lou..." He said, though his voice fell short. Louis was already out of the house.

"What's wrong? Have I said something?" She asked worriedly.

Harry wished she wasn't here. He wished they didn't come. This was a mistake.

"I--- I'm sorry--- I don't remember you--- any of this--- I can't be here," he gulped, standing up, "I'm going to Louis," he said, not waiting for her to reply.

He couldn't be married. There was no possible way he was married--- not willingly.

When he walked out the house, he looked around, unsure of where Louis was in the huge backyard until he spotted a small stable area.

He gasped when he saw her. Dandelion. His Dandelion. She was okay. She was alive.

He rushed towards her, letting out a breath when he finally stood in front of her, hands finding the spot behind her ear she liked to be scratched and did just that.

She was munching away on some freshly cut grass in her stable. Harry felt tears wet his cheeks. "You're okay," he managed to get out.

"That's Dandelion, huh?"

Harry turned around. Louis walked closer to them, hands in his pockets. Once he was in close proximity, Harry saw that his cheeks looked wet as well and his eyes were red.

"Lou," Harry let go of Dandelion to collapse into Louis, wrapping his arms around his waist. He could finally breathe again once Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, pulling away, shaking his head, feeling the lump in his throat expand, "I promise I didn't know, Lou."

"Hey, it's all right, I know," Louis sniffed but there was something so off about his voice.

"I--- fuck, I don't know what to do, Lou," he finally let out a sob, wiping at his nose with his fist, "I didn't know---- I don't want this--- I want to go home."

"Harry..." Louis sighed, sounding defeated, "come on, let's sit down, love." He guided Harry to a stray piece of wood next to Dandelion's stable.

Harry sat down, trying to control his breathing while Louis sat down carefully next to him.

"Lets go home, Lou, please?" He asked desperately, his figure blurred due to the tears in Harry's eyes.

"Harry..." there was that tone again, "You... you're married." He swallowed at that, looking down. 

"But--- Louis, I don't remember her," he frowned, "I--- as far as I know I'm not married, I can't be."

"But you are, love," he smiled sadly at Harry, "you're married to someone and she seems like she really cares about you."

Harry's heart was in his throat. "What--- what are you saying?"

"I--- Harry, I can't come between a marriage. My father cheated on my ma and I---I can't be that person," Louis' voice cracked.

Harry started shaking his head, "I didn't cheat on anyone, Louis," he squeaked, "you're not that person."

"No, Harry, I know--- I'm not blaming you, love, but I can't do that. Your wife is in there and this is all wrong," he huffed, sniffing again.

"Then I'll end it--- I want to be with you, Louis, please," he was frantic now because he couldn't lose Louis.

"I--- I have to put myself in her shoes," he swallowed again, his voice clearer but distant, "if I ever lost you and you happen to come back with someone else, I would lose my mind and I can't do that to her--- you have to give her a chance."

"Why are you saying these things? Don't you love me?" Harry started to sob again. "I can't be with her, I want to be with you."

"You haven't even given her a chance, Harry. Please don't make this harder than it already is," he sounded broken and Harry wanted to fix it but he didn't know how.

"Make what harder?" He breathed heavily, his lungs feeling smaller and smaller.

"Don't make me say it, Harry, please,"

Harry let out a gut-wrenching sob, covering his mouth and shutting his eyes. His breathing was getting shallower and his mind was getting fuzzy.

"Harry, hey, breathe, please," Louis placed a hand on his back, rubbing it up and down, "come on let's get you inside and get you some water." He helped Harry up but all Harry could think about was that he was going to lose Louis.

He knew Louis loved him but he didn't understand why he was doing this. They belonged together.

"Harry? What happened?" Diana questioned as soon as the door opened.

"Just getting him some water--- he's a bit nervous, is all," Louis explained.

She looked at them worriedly, "I'll get you some water," she declared. Only then did Harry notice a tall man behind her with a shiny bald head and thick spectacles.

"Harry! I can't believe it's you," he exclaimed. His smile died down once he noticed Harry's expression.

"Sit," Louis instructed softly, guiding him to the sofa again.

Harry wanted to hold onto Louis' hand to keep him there.

"Here's some water," Diana handed him a glass. He held it to his mouth shakily, sipping it slowly. 

"Everything all right?" The man asked.

"Everything is fine, daddy. Harry is finally back home," Diana said with a soft smile.

He wanted her to stop saying that. This wasn't his home.

"Happy to have you back, Harry. We thought we lost you when the ship crashed," the man said, leaning against the nearest wall, "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Daddy, this is Louis and he helped our Harry get better," Diana said, smiling gratefully at Louis.

He was not their Harry.

"Oh, how can we ever repay you, Louis?" He looked touched, standing up straighter.

"Please--- I've already said you don't have to do anything," Louis replied, the energy and brightness to his voice was gone.

"We have to do something---" his eyes lit up suddenly, "where are you staying? We could pay for it or the trip back? Better yet, stay here the night!"

Louis sighed next to him, "Thank you but I really have to get going back and all of my things are back at the motel----"

Our things. Harry wanted to say.

"We'll arrange for them to be brought here, don't worry about that," he waved him off, "Please I insist."

"Stay, Louis. It's the least we can do," Diana added.

Harry didn't want to look at him because he was sure his breathing would get worse.

"I... shouldn't," he huffed, "I'll stay but I have to leave early tomorrow morning---"

"We'll arrange for transport then! Are you taking the train?"

Louis nodded.

"Very well," he nodded towards them, "I must be going now before I'm too late. It's nice to have you back, Harry. We've missed you so much."

Harry said nothing, looking down at the floor.

"Maybe Harry should get some rest," Diana spoke up, "I assume you must be tired from your trip."

Harry didn't want to rest. He wanted to go home.

"I'll take him," Louis said, voice rough and raw.

"Oh--- uh, all right. You can take him up to our bedroom or one of the spare ones downstairs is fine too," she said, seeming unsure but accomdative anyhow.

He followed Louis, feeling numb while Diana's voice sounded in the background, directing Louis to a bedroom.

He felt nothing. Not even when the bed dipped next to him and Louis turned to face him. He hadn't even realised that he was laying down on his side.

"Harry," Louis whispered, soft into the room that smelt much too different from Louis.

Harry broke down again, crying into the pillow. Louis' hands met his waist and pulled him into his chest. He grabbed at Louis' shirt, fisting it into his hands while he sobbed.

"Harry, you have to give her a chance, love," Louis said, but he didn't sound genuine.

Harry rested his forehead on his shirt, breathing him in. "Wh-why are you d-doing this?" He managed to get out.

"Because I know what it's like to love you," he said, the words hanging in the air, "and I see that look in her eyes and I can't bear to hurt someone who loves you because I know the feeling." He laughed humourlessly.

"That's n-not fair," Harry protested, "I love you, not her."

"But you did --- you did once and you can again, Harry. I'm doing this because I love you, okay? Please know that," Louis said, his voice on the verge crying.

"Wh-why do you want me to do this then, if you really l-love me?" He looked up at Louis but Louis' eyes were shut, his lips parted.

"Do it for me, then," he breathed out, "you'll give her a chance because I see the way she looks at you and I know because I look at you the same way."

"Ask me to do anything but love someone else, please," Harry shifted closer to Louis, wanting to be with him --- next to him.

"You loved her once," Louis repeated. It seemed like he was telling himself that more than anything.

"Not anymore,"

"Because you can't remember, not because you never have,"

That silenced Harry.

"You're making decisions for me," he said instead, moving away from him, shaking his head, "if you don't want to be with me anymore then just say so, Louis... I don't want to force you to be with me."

The words hurt to say out loud but Harry couldn't think of any other reason why Louis would want to do this to Harry-- to them.

"Harry," his voice sounded pained but Harry was starting to doubt how genuine it was. He hated that. He never doubted anything with Louis.

"You want to leave, don't you?" Harry refrained from crying again, "that's what you want?"

"Love, I don't want to--- you have to believe me--- but this is what's for the best. You have a life here that you just... left. I don't want to be the reason you regret that some day," he spoke quickly and firmly.

Harry sniffed, "You can't force me to be here," he said.

"I'm not," Louis said quietly.

"You're not allowing me to come back with you," Harry said, his tone biting.

"Its not that I'm not allowing you to... It's just that this changes a lot, Harry," Louis sighed, "we can't just be together anymore--- not when you have a wife."

"That I don't want,"

"Because you can't remember," Louis countered, "You may want her..."

Harry flared his nostrils, "fine, leave then," he tried to keep the shake out of his voice, "if you don't want me any more--- if I've become too much of a burden for you to bear--- just leave," Harry kept his voice steady, but his eyes were cold.

Because if Louis wanted to leave, there was nothing he could do about it.

"Just know that I'll never love her--- I can't--- not the way I love you," this time his voice broke but he didn't let it stop him, "leave if you want to, but you can't force me to love her."

"I'm not--- Harry, you haven't even given her a chance is all I'm saying--- how would you feel if you were me?" Louis swallowed, eyes shining.

I would have taken your hand and ran away from here so we could be together, somewhere far away.

But Harry was tired. He was tired of everything and his body was weighing him down too. He wouldn't fight for someone who didn't even want to be in his life in the first place.

Was this Louis' plan all along? Bring him back here and leave him here?

No, Harry couldn't believe that. Not with Louis. Not his Louis.

"Will you stay with me for now at least?" Harry chose to say, ignoring his question as if he hadn't heard it.

Louis bit his lip in contemplation.

Harry sighed. Louis was going to leave Harry here. Harry didnt want to stay here. He wanted to go home. But home was wherever Louis was.

Suddenly, he was taken back to months ago when he had a similar feeling; lost and with no place to call home anymore.

He'd found that with Louis. Louis was his home.

He didnt want to rest here. This wasn't his bed or Louis' but Harry was so tired, his eyes were fighting to stay opened.

Louis hadn't made a move so Harry turned around in the much too cold sheets and faced an old wooden cupboard, sun shining dully from the curtains and hitting the mirror of it. It made his eyes hurt.

Suddenly, a hand made its way around his waist and his back was met with a chest. Louis.

"Please don't hate me," Louis whispered into the back of his neck.

Harry wanted to say he didn't--- he never could. He loved Louis more than anything. But, Louis wanted to leave.

He shut his eyes instead, tears falling softly onto the crisp pillowcase underneath his head.

***

When Harry woke up it was to cold sheets and no sunlight.

He turned around, expecting to see Louis, but he wasn't there. Harry immediately started to panic.

He wouldn't leave, not without saying goodbye at least. He couldn't have just left Harry, could he?

No. Harry would have followed him to the train station if he had to because Louis wouldn't leave without him.

He got up from the bed, walking out the door and retracing his steps back to the living room. He searched around, not seeing anything familiar that would indicate Louis was still here.

His breathing became heavier. Harry searched passed the living room and then passed the other bedroom but no one was there. That was supposed to be the room Louis was to stay in--- there were no other rooms down here.

Harry let out heavy exhales. He heard a soft clutter nearby-- what he assumed was the kitchen and hurried to it, expecting to see Louis but was met with the lady who greeted them before--- Mrs. Robertson.

She turned around, surprised to see Harry at the archway.

"Harry--- you're up early---"

"Where's Louis?" He asked, on the verge of panicked.

She blinked twice, "your friend? He left a few hours ago--- ungodly hours of the morning--- took the luggage Mr. France had brought over --- and said he was heading to the station."

"No, no, no," Harry slid down the archway until his bum hit the tiled floors. His hands slid into his hair. He pulled at it, bringing his knees up to his chest as his vision blurred.

"Harry? Harry!" Was all he could hear from Mrs. Robertson when she kneeled down in front of him.

She tried to pry away his hands from his hair but he resisted, shaking his head in denial, feeling his chest hurt. Because he left. He actually left. Louis was gone.

He leaned forward, his forehead on his kneecaps as he tried to control his breathing and sobbing, shutting out Mrs. Robertson's voice.

He wanted to listen to Louis'--- for Louis to tell Harry that everything would be okay and put his hand over Louis' heart, hearing the soft thud under his palm.

"Dandelion," he said suddenly, standing up shakily, "I need to--- please I need to see her."

He already made a move to the back door again. He realised that the house somehow seemed familiar to his limbs and brain but not enough for him to remember much else.

"Harry, dear you have no shoes," she exclaimed but Harry didn't bother. He knew what he had to do.

Right now, the only one who could calm him down was Dandelion because Louis wasn't here. He left.

He walked over the muddy grass and towards the stables where Dandelion stood, calm as ever as he approached her.

He collapsed onto his knees in front of her, sobs wracking through his body. She couldn't hold him but she comforted him in a way Harry couldn't explain.

"Harry," a voice called out softly.

Harry wiped his eyes to see Mrs. Robertson standing a few feet away, a pair of slippers in her hands and another thing next to it that Harry couldn't make out.

She approached him slowly, bending down again next to him, her brown eyes filled with sympathy as she placed a tentative hand on his back.

"Here are some shoes to wear," she put the shoes in front of them, underneath Dandelion.

There was silence as Harry controlled his breathing, in deeply, then out.

"He meant a lot to you, did he?" She asked carefully.

Harry could only nod because he refused to believe Louis had left him. He didn't even say goodbye.

"He... your friend--- he left some thing for you," she then handed him the other item she carried, "I was going to give it to you later but..."

Harry understood. He grabbed the piece of paper rolled up with a loose string.

"I'll give you some privacy," she stood up as he undid the string of it, "I'm glad you're back home, Harry."

He really wished they would stop saying that.

Her footsteps grew softer and that was when Harry finally looked at the letter, ready to read it.

Was he ready to read it? Did Louis even deserve it?

His lips trembled when the pictures they took at the carnival fell to the floor. Harry picked it up, dusting the stray pieces of hay and grass off, looking at the picture and crying. Again.

They were so happy. Harry wanted that again. Everything seemed so easy back then, Harry wished they could go back. The picture of them kissing was enough for him to look away.

It hurt. It fucking hurt already.

His heart wasn't ready for any of this. He couldn't handle the letter yet his eyes already scanned over the blurry words before he could stop himself.

It took him a while to blink away a few tears and actually read it properly.

_My Harry,_

_I know you'll be mad at me. I understand that. But, please know that I love you._

_It may not seem like it right now, but I do, more than anything. You mean the world to me. Hell, you are my world._

_But, I can't do this, Harry. Not to a family that you already have, be it just a wife or more._

_I know what's it's like on the other end and I don't want to be that person._

_You loved her once, you can love her again._

_My heart belongs to you. Always you._

_Yours, Louis._

Harry wanted to scrunch the paper up in his hand and throw it at something.

That was it. That was all he had to say to Harry. His heart belonged to Harry yet he still  _left_. Harry didn't get it.

Who was he to make decisions for Harry? As if Harry was a child or incapable of thinking for himself.

No. He did not get to do that. He didn't get to just leave, like he didn't care for Harry at all.

Maybe he didn't anymore.

_My heart belongs to you._

Harry scoffed, his eyes landing on the set of pictures again. His heart gave a painful thud against his ribcage.

If Louis didn't want him anymore, what could he do?

If he went back to Makenshire for Louis, Louis would just make him leave him again, wouldn't he? He didn't care for Harry anymore.

How could Harry believe he did when he just left like this? Nothing but a lowsey letter and their memories together as if he were trying to get rid of Harry all together.

It hit him then. Louis was probably trying to erase Harry out his life completely, wasn't he? He'd taken his luggage and left Harry to deal with a broken heart. A heart he broke.

How could he do that?

Harry let out dry sobs by now, sitting on his bum and looking up at Dandelion. She was still in her own little world but somehow it made Harry feel better. He was broken to pieces on the inside and he didn't know if he could ever heal again.

***

Harry was numb and he didn't know what to do. What was the point of trying to go back when Louis didn't even want him there in the first place? How could he fight for nothing?

"Harry, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Harry replied, "when is your dad going to get here?"

"He'll be here soon, what is it that you need to speak about again? You've been in your room the past---"

"I know, I need to speak to you both," Harry cut her off, curling in on himself again, covering his body with a blanket. Cold. He's been feeling so cold lately.

Diana stared at him skeptically, but nodded anyways, sitting on a chair at the other end of the room.

Harry would feel bad but he couldn't. Not when he couldn't feel anything.

And this needed to happen. He had to tell them that he couldn't remember anything about his life here and he just--- he wanted to go home. But, he had no home anymore. Again.

He quickly rid himself of the thoughts before he got carried away again and rubbed his eyes, sitting in silence with Diana.

She was nothing but nice and understanding towards Harry. After they found him in the stables that day with Dandelion, she hugged him and he let himself be hugged because he needed it.

She might have taken it the wrong way and Harry might have led her on a bit too but it was just a hug.

She tried not to look disappointed when he declined sleeping in their bedroom again. He just--- he couldn't. That was not his bedroom.

And besides, it wasn't as if Harry was sleeping anyways.

A stupid part of him was waiting for Louis to come back; burst through the doors, take his hand and lead the way back home. His real home.

This wasn't his home.

But, Louis hadn't come and it had already been a week. Harry didn't know what to do anymore. He just knew he had to leave, whether Louis wanted him again or not.

A ruckus came from the entrance before Mr. France, Diana's father, sauntered into the living room, crisp white suit and neatly done bowtie on.

"Daddy," Diana greeted, standing up and placing a kiss on his cheek.

Harry didn't know whether he should get up or not. Mr. France made the decision for him, leaning forward a bit and extending his hand out.

Harry smiled tightly at him, accepting the handshake.

Mr. France sat on the stray armchair and looked at both of them. "What is it that you need then?" He asked, his voice high and slightly annoying if Harry was being honest.

"Um, Harry wanted to speak with you about something," Diana said, fiddling with her fingers in her lap.

Mr. France turned to him. "What is it?"

"I need to speak with you both about something," Harry started, clearing his throat, "when I was found, I hit my head and I lost part of my memory--- that's the reason why I hadn't come back here--- because I couldn't remember any of it."

Diana gasped. "You were serious when you said you couldn't remember me?"

"Yes," he replied, emotionless.

"That boy that found you--- he didn't try and help you get back here?" Mr. France frowned, "you were gone for four and a half months!"

"He did," Harry felt defensive over Louis still, "but the last thing I remembered was the farm which---"

"Doesn't exist anymore," Diana completed in a murmur.

Harry nodded.

"Okay, well, we can get you to the best doctors! They'll help you get better again. Your life is here, Harry. You'll be fine," Mr. France said with a reassuring smile.

Harry swallowed. "I... I don't know if I want to stay here."

There was silence.

"What?" Mr. France asked, a little harshly at that.

"I... my life has changed a lot, Mr. France and I can't just leave what I had behind---"

"But you did! You left this behind, Harry!" Mr. France bellowed.

"Dad," Diana tried to calm him but he didn't falter.

"For months I was convinced you'd died because of me and now you're alive, and I know you don't remember but you promised to stay with my daughter forever--- don't you break that promise," he warned with a wiggle of his finger at Harry.

Harry bit his lip, tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't know what to say.

"You can't force me to stay here," something he had been saying far too much. He was a grown man who could make his own decisions.

Mr. France scoffed, "my, you really have forgotten," he turned to Diana, "a doctor will meet with him tomorrow," then to Harry again, spitting out, "it seems like he has lost his mind."

He left the room abruptly, the front door slamming shut, causing Harry to flinch.

Diana turned to him, looking apologetic.

"I can't stay here," he said, pleading, "Please, I have to go--- this is illegal!"

"It's not..." she said quietly, "you're married to me, remember? This is your home too."

Harry shook his head, pushing the blanket off of himself and heading to the room again--- where he'd spending most of his time now. He ignored her sounds of protest and shut the room door, collapsing onto the bed.

He cried into his pillow, feeling lost and confused and hurt. God, everything hurt. He missed Louis. He missed his home. He had to get out of here.

***

During the second week, Harry held Louis' letter and their photo booth pictures close to his heart, sleeping with them and waking up with them.

He was sure he'd read the letter about a million times now. He could recite it off-by-heart.

Tears fell but he couldn't cry, per sé. They fell silently and his body felt like it wasn't there. His mind was floating and he didn't even know what was going on around him.

He wondered what Louis was doing. Was he crying the way Harry was? Did he think of Harry every time the sun rose and set?

Probably not. If he did, he would have come back for Harry by now but he hadn't.

And Harry couldn't do anything. A doctor came to visit him a few times and declared that Harry was fine.

Harry was far from fine but he wasn't going to argue with that. Who knew what the family would do if the doctor had told them Harry was not okay.

Diana had tried to speak to him twice after that day but he asked her leave him alone both times. He did it as politely as he could have, of course, given his state.

She didn't bother him after that. Mrs. Robertson was the only one who came into the room and brought his meals. The meals that went untouched most of the time.

Yeah, Harry was definitely not okay.

He felt trapped in this house that he had no memory of. The only thing he could remember now was Makenshire.

He wondered how the girls and Jay were doing. Did they know the truth about what happened? Did they know that Louis had left him here because he didn't care for him anymore? Or did Louis lie about it?

He found it hard to believe that Louis would lie about it but he couldn't know for sure.

All he knew was that he wanted to get out of here.

***

During the brief moments that Harry would get out of his room in the three weeks that he'd been here, he would visit Dandelion.

She brought a smile on his face, even if it wasn't one that reached his eyes. It helped to see her again--- to see her alive and well.

Harry brushed her growing fur softly, her head almost in his lap from the position they sat on the floor. She was unbothered--- quite frankly, she enjoyed her fur being played with a little bit. Her black beady eyes stared at Harry occasionally, almost as if she were asking whether he was doing okay or not.

Maybe he was mad but it still made him want to cry.

"She had a baby, you know?"

Harry turned to see Diana walk in, her dress flowing with her coat as she approached them. She leaned down opposite Harry and petted her softly, smiling.

"Gave birth to them just after you'd left actually--- she was distressed--- we were lucky to save her," Diana explained.

"And where is the baby now?" Harry asked, heart in his throat.

"Uh, he--- he was stillborn, unfortunately," she looked crestfallen at that, her eyes on her lap.

Harry's heart hurt even more. He looked at Dandelion, big beautiful eyes and soft brown fur. He smiled weakly, rubbing over her back. "Sorry, my love," he whispered.

"I think it's because she missed you so much-- that she was so stressed, I mean," Diana said.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, not knowing what else to say. What else could he say, really?

"I'm sorry," she countered. Harry looked up at her to see that her cheeks were pink.

"About?"

She let out a heavy exhale, "Harry... you-- I saw your pictures."

Harry inhaled sharply, his heartbeat loud and pounding in his ears.

"I should have known," she let out a humourless laugh, eyes still cast downwards, "I kind of did know--- not about your friend--- but about you."

Harry frowned. "What do you mean?"

It was silent for a few seconds before she finally answered.

"You told me before we even got married--- you weren't interested in me not because it had anything to do with me but because you didn't fancy any dames at all," she revealed.

Harry felt more confused now than he was before. "Wait--- why did we marry then?"

She still didn't look at him. "My father--- he made an agreement with yours. See, when your father had passed, he had a lot of debt that he owed to my father in particular and the farm was going to go to the bank but that would mean you would be left homeless and all the animals would have been sold too. So, your father asked my father to look after you at the very least. I've--- I've always fancied you, but you never noticed me," she shrugged sadly, "my father knew this and came to you with the deal and you wouldn't agree unless it meant that Dandelion and a few of the other animals were safe too."

Harry stared, perplexed.

"So, you're saying that our marriage... it--- it wasn't really legitimate?" Harry asked slowly.

"Well, legally it is, but emotionally it isn't and is that really a marriage?" She smiled sadly, finally looking up at him. Harry still didn't know what to say. "I saw the way he looked at you, you know--- and I knew because I look at you the same way."

She sounded like Louis. He'd said something similar, if not the same.

"I--- I'm sorry," he swallowed, "I'm not--- it's not who I am---- I love him, unfortunately," he ended with a bitter laugh.

"Unfortunately?" She pinched her brows together.

"Well, it doesn't seem like he wants me anymore, given that he left and all," Harry mumbled, his eyes glued to the white dots on the Dandelion's back.

"I don't think he wanted too..." she trailed off softly, "heck, if I were in his place, I might have done the same th--" she stopped herself abruptly.

Harry looked at her. "What?"

"I am in his position--- somewhat," she said, eyes wider, "you're--- you love him, don't you?"

Harry nodded.

"You should go to him, Harry," she smiled again but it was solemn and she looked like she wanted to cry.

"Why would I when he left? And besides, I was part of a deal here, wasn't I?"

He knew his father spent the income on a lot of unnecessary things and he had an issue with his gambling but he never thought it could ever get as bad as this.

"Harry, you deserve to be happy," she said, the words hanging heavy in the air between them, "I could see--- even in those pictures--- that he made you happy. My father," she sighed tiredly, "I'll have to deal with him --- he just wants me to be happy at the end of the day."

Harry shook his head, "it's insane--- you've just told me how I was part of an agreement with your father and--and Louis isn't here anymore," he swallowed the lump in his throat, "besides, Dandelion is here now and-- and I can't leave again--- not like that."

A tear fell down her cheek. "I'm pretty sure you went on the boat to do just that," she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Daddy said that it looked like you'd jumped,"

Harry felt tears well up in his own eyes. He was tired of crying. "What?"

She nodded, looking down, "he said they could have saved you but you kept turning the other way and by the time another wave had hit, they'd lost sight of you. You were miserable here, Harry--- you deserve better."

"Oh my god," Harry sniffled, sighing and shutting his eyes. He wished more than anything that he could remember what had happened---- at least that day. Could he have been that miserable here that he was willing to even leave Dandelion? His only companion and best friend for years.

"You should go get your Louis back," she said again, smiling weakly, "I'll deal with my father--- I promise," she turned to Dandelion to pet her again, "and don't you worry about Dandelion--- we'll take good care of her. She'll always be right here waiting for you."

"Diana..."

It was one of the first times he said her name out loud since he came here to Deckenville.

"Please don't make it harder," she let out a throaty laugh, "it's already hard as is."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine," she waved him off, "I think I need to move on right about now."

Harry let out a few breaths, pondering over her words. Should he even bother going after Louis? He was going to do it in the first place, if it weren't for Diana's father being so intimidating and threatening him.

And now--- now he got an out. Why shouldn't he use it?

He looked at Diana who was crying silently. He felt a pang in his heart. He never meant to hurt anyone.

"I'm so sorry," he said, feeling helpless, "it's just... its not who I am--- it's not you." He said again.

"I know," she confirmed with another weak smile, "go find Louis, Harry--- don't worry about us--- we'll be okay here, we're at home--- you aren't, are you?"

Harry shook his head.

"Then go," she stressed, "go tomorrow morning, the first train should be leaving around six in the morning."

"How--- how can you just let me go so easily now?"

"Like I said Harry, I think you've been miserable and unhappy here for way too long. The thought of you having to end your own life because of it---" she shook her head, "--- I just want you to be happy."

"I really am sorry,"

"I know," she smiled, this time it seemed less sad, more understanding, "Louis is really lucky to have you."

"He doesn't really have me anymore," Harry mumbled, heart beating faster.

"Was there ever really a time your heart didn't belong to him?"

Harry's eyes snapped to hers.

"I may have glanced at the letter too," she admitted sheepishly, "it was the final push for me to come and speak to you, I think."

"I don't know how to thank you," Harry murmured.

"Don't--- just be happy, that's all,"

Harry bit his lip, glancing at Dandelion. He gulped. He could do this. He could ask for Louis back and tell him the truth--- tell him that they belong together because dammit, they do.

_My heart belongs to you. Always you._

Harry had to try.

***

It was an understatement to say that he was nervous. Saying goodbye to Dandelion again only made things worse but Diana kept reminding him that she would be there if Harry ever wanted to visit.

Harry couldn't thank her enough for what she was doing. He doesn't think he could ever let Louis go like that, if in the scenario where his feelings weren't reciprocated, that is.

She also reassured him that she would somehow deal with her father. She even suggested telling him that she had fallen for someone else and didn't want Harry anymore, saying that he wouldn't say anything about it if that were the case.

He felt guilty. Of course he did.

He threw up again on the train and tried his best to ignore the stares from the people around him. His nerves got the best of him most of the time and the moving train didn't help at all.

He leaned against the cold window of the train, running his fingers over Louis' face on the set of photos and smiling to himself. He loved him so much. He could only hope Louis would hear him and out--- listen to Harry when he would tell him that they belonged together.

He had to try and get his Louis back. He was going to do everything he could and if Louis still didnt want him after that, then so be it, he would have to let him go. But, he couldn't now --- not without a fight.

Before, Louis had just left without a fight. Now, Harry wasn't going to leave without one.

***

Entering the little town of Makenshire again was like a breath of a fresh air, yet he still felt like he couldn't breathe well enough.

The smell was of the salty sea and a hint of the fish caught from the wharf nearby was strong. Harry smiled still, the memories rushing back to him.

He adjusted the bag over his shoulder and the one in his hand, making his way down the familiar roads.

He was dreading this. He was going to be faced with Jay. Jay, who warned him about hurting her son. To be fair, he hadn't done it intentionally. He didn't know he was married already to someone else, let alone a lady.

The closer he got to the familiar brick house, the more he felt his throat clog up. His feet felt heavy and shoulders slumped once he reached the wooden door.

He raised a hand to knock.

It was just past four pm which meant Louis would be finishing off at the chippy by now if he was still working there. Harry didn't think he would stop, if anything, he would throw himself into his work to distract himself.

After the first loud knock of wood rang through his ears, he waited only but a few seconds before the door swung opened, revealing a shocked looking Jay.

Harry's heart was in throat. He felt uneasy, his palms sweaty and eyes burning through the icy wind.

"Oh, Harry," she pulled him in to an embrace, taking Harry by surprise.

He hugged her back, even with the bag over his shoulder and one occupying his hand. He had to.

She pulled away and stepped aside, "god, come in, you must be freezing."

Harry happily obliged, sighing in relief once the door was shut.

"You're here," she said, taking a few steps back and looking at him, "I knew you'd come eventually."

"You did?"

"I just knew it," Jay smiled shakily, "god put everything down and let me warm you up first."

Harry dropped everything at the door and followed her to the kitchen. The steps were feeling achingly familiar. He couldn't help but feel emotional because god, he missed it.

The rickety floorboards, old wooden cupboards, the noisy fridge and dented table, smell of something sweet or savoury that Jay was making.

He felt at home and safe.

"Its bloody freezing," she said, placing a cuppa in his hand, "I'm surprised it isn't snowing yet."

Harry's lip wobbled. Her face softened.

"I know, hon, don't you worry. I know--- Louis told me everythin'," she said, rubbing his arm soothingly.

"I'm sorry," he managed to croak out, "I wanted to come back, I swear."

"I know, dear. My son is stubborn at the worst and best of times," she sighed, "but I knew you'd be back--- I had a feeling. I'm so glad you're here."

"Would he want to see me?" Harry asked, feeling colder again.

"He loves you, dear. Of course he will, but..."

"I have some convincing to do?" Harry laughed nervously.

"Stubborn, as I've said," she smiled softly, eyes filled with tears.

"You're not mad at me?" Harry asked sheepishly.

"I'm not," she said, "love, it was neither of your fault."

Harry nodded, not feeling entirely convinced but not having enough in him to argue or protest.

"Mum, have you seen my jumper?" A voice came from entrance of the kitchen.

She froze in her steps upon seeing Harry.

"Harry, you're home!" Daisy yelled, engulfing him in a hug. He placed his mug down the table and hugged her back.

She pulled away quickly to call Phoebe. Before he knew it, Phoebe came in, shrieking when she saw Harry as well and joining in on a group hug.

He couldn't help but cry again, hugging them, feeling almost whole.

Jay joined in, too. Harry let his tears flow and held them tighter.

It wasn't long after that they sat at the table and spoke. Daisy told Harry about the new book she'd been reading while Phoebe caught him up on the new movie she watched with Jay last week.

It was so mundane and domestic and familiar and Harry just felt like tearing up the whole time because he missed it so much.

He didn't think it would swing back into how things were so quickly but he wasn't complaining.

Maybe that was just how it worked with people you're close to---- with family.

When he heard Louis' voice again, his heart leaped and beat rapidly.

"Ma?" He'd called out again, stepping into the kitchen.

Harry let out a shaky breath, turning to finally see Louis again. The air in the room was as thick as syrup.

When his eyes finally met Louis', Harry started to cry. Blue. Blue. Blue.

He wanted nothing more than to run to him, hug him and kiss the living daylights out of him.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Girls, let's go fetch Lottie from work, what do you say?" Jay said, clearing her throat.

It felt like ages before they'd finally left the kitchen and the front door shut closed.

Louis hadn't moved from his spot, still staring at Harry.

"Hi," Harry started, trying to control his emotions for a little bit.

"What are you doing here?" Louis asked again, tone hard but not unkind.

"I came here to talk to you," Harry said, "I--- I want to be with you."

Louis' body sagged in defeat. He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Harry, we spoke about this---"

"No, you spoke and then you left," Harry fought back, "now I want you to listen, okay?"

Louis seemed taken aback but nodded.

"Can you... can you at least sit down?"

Louis obliged, sitting opposite Harry but avoiding eye contact. Harry ignored the hurt in the mean time to speak his mind.

"I love you, Louis," he started with, "and I want to be with you--- I don't care what happened before--- I want to be with you now, my past is my past and I should have left it that way."

"I... I told you, Harry, you're married and I can't---"

"I'm not!" He said quickly, "well, I am but not out of love--- it was uh, it was sort of a deal made with my father and hers."

Louis looked up at him this time, raising his eyebrow at Harry.

"My dad---- he was in a lot of debt and he was dying and there was no way to keep the farm or---or me, for that matter. To secure me, esssentially, he made a deal with Diana's father and I had to marry her, and I got to keep Dandelion safe too."

"Wait," Louis frowned, "that seems a bit drastic, doesn't it? You could have gotten yourself a job?"

"I never worked before because I wasn't allowed to and Louis--- it's a whole farm. The debt was owed to her father as well---- my point is, I didn't marry her because I loved her," he bit his lip, "I had to and she said that--- that she thinks I may tried to... end my life when--when you found me."

Louis' Adams apple bobbed in his throat. "When I found you half-drowning you mean? But you asked for my help."

"Maybe I changed my mind or-- or I just wanted to escape--- i don't know, Lou. That's not what I'm getting at--- my point is that I never did marry her because we were in love."

"But you're still married,"

Harry sighed, "she said she would speak to her father about everything and I trust her---"

"How do you trust her?"

"Because she could see how much I love you and---and she just wanted me to be happy. God, Louis, _my point_  is that I want to be with you--- I can be with you now--- please, please tell me you want this, too."

The conversation was patchy and confusing but Harry needed to cut to the chase. He just wanted to be with his Louis already.

"Harry," he shook his head, rubbing his temples, "okay, we need to slow down a little with all of this, yeah?"

Harry wiped his eyes, sniffing, "do you want to be with me or not?"

When he looked up at Louis, Louis looked close to crying too.

"Of course--- I love you--- how can you think that I don't? I did this all because I love you,"

Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "We can do this, Louis--- we can be together--- I-- I can't lose you again."

Louis made a move to shift his chair to Harry's side and grabbed his hand. Harry almost sobbed at how good it felt. He turned into Louis, moving closer and closer until he was in his lap. He didn't know how it happened, just that he was now on Louis' lap and Louis was holding him close and Harry didn't want him to let go.

"I missed you so much, Lou," he sniffed into his neck, legs tightening on either side of Louis.

"I missed you too, So god damn much," Louis sniffled into his clothes.

Harry pulled away, his forehead on Louis' and wiping away his tears as they fell. "Why did you leave, Lou? W--when I woke up and couldn't find you--- god it was horrible."

"I'm sorry--- it was the right thing to do, Harry," Louis' hands landed on his hips, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't do it again then, yeah? Please don't leave me again."

He didn't care if he sounded desperate, he just wanted Louis back.

"Wait, wait," Louis pulled back a little, "we have to talk about this, love, yeah? You need to start from the beginning."

Harry took a few breaths before nodding, "do you, um, do you want me to get off of you?"

They both let out a laugh; unexpected yet unabashed.

"I... I don't mind holding you again, honestly," Louis said, blushing slightly.

Harry missed the way he made Louis blush.

"Would it be awkward to talk to you while I'm sitting on you?" Harry asked, still a little mirthful because he couldn't help it.

"Harry, love, just tell me what's happening, please. From the beginning, yeah?"

Harry nodded. He started from the beginning, telling Louis about what he'd felt when Louis wasn't there, how he found the letter and pictures and was so angry, then about his plan to at least move away from Diana and her family because he didn't want to stay there, Diana's father and then her confessions; how Harry's father was in debt to her father and how they decided that Harry got to marry Diana in order to settle the owing debt, adding that Diana told him to go after Louis and that she would take care of Dandelion and her father.

"What so they exchanged you to call the debt a truce or something?" Louis asked, sounding outraged, "you're not an object, for God's sake. And what about the father then? What's she just going to say she found someone else and he accepts it?"

"Apparently--- i don't think he cares much anymore... it's been over a year since my dad and he's doing well--- all he cares about is his daughter's happiness, right? And if she says she doesn't want me anymore..."

"He'll go along with it?"

"Supposedly," Harry shrugged, "I know that technically I'm still married... for now... but I--- you can't ask me to give her a chance anymore because she's always known I never was interested in her--- any ladies for that matter."

Louis looked up at him, his eyes full of adoration but sadness. "You would want this though? You found Dandelion after all this time..." He smiled.

"And she's still there and will always be there--- Diana promised. I just... all I know is that we belong together and that I'm madly in love with you and I've missed you so fucking much it felt like I couldn't breathe half the time and now in your arms is the first time in weeks that I've felt okay," he ended with a breath.

Lips were on his before he knew it. Harry squeaked in surprise before he melted into the kiss, pulling Harry closer to him. It was hot and needy and desperate and long overdue.

"Harry," he pulled away with a sigh, "you're insane, you know that?"

Harry chuckled, kissing him again, this time softer. "God, Louis please just... I know this is insane and weird but please give us a chance. Don't give up on us--- not again."

"Never again," Louis said fiercely, "fuck there's so much we need to talk about and sort out---"

"I know but I'm here now and you're here and that's all that matters," Harry cut him off, kissing his forehead then nudging their noses together.

"I love you, Harry, I really do. I'm sorry I ever made you doubt that,"

"I know you do. I love you too," Harry promised, sealing it with a kiss.

"I know everything isn't perfect and there's so much more we need to figure out but god I'm so happy you're here," Louis hugged him tightly, burying his face in Harry's neck.

Harry grinned, happy and content. He never thought he would feel this again.

He held Louis tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! :)


	9. IX: Louis (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Full of fluff ;)

_**One year later** _

Harry couldn't stop talking but what else was new, really?

Louis listened and hung on to each and every word he uttered though. How could he not when his voice sounded as sweet as honey; dripping, thick and rich. Louis wanted to drown in it.

"Lou, can you believe it? She's having another baby. Oh my god," Harry grinned widely, hiding his joy behind his mug.

"Think it's going to be a boy again?" Louis asked, sipping his tea.

Harry moved closer to him on their couch, humming in thought, "does it really matter?"

"Only a question, love. I suppose it doesn't at the end of the day, as long as they're healthy," Louis placed his empty mug on their coffee table and shifted so that his head was on Harry's lap.

"What are you doing? We need to visit your mum soon, you can't sleep," Harry grinned down at him. Contradicting his words, his hand found its way to his hair and started to scratch his scalp gently. He knew it made Louis sleepy so it was his fault now.

"Why can't she visit us," Louis groaned softly, pouting.

They'd found their own little flat not too far away from Louis' old home about three months ago. Adjusting to life without his sisters and mother was hard, to say the least.

He was just so used to them constantly being there and the house was never quiet.

Now, in their tiny little flat, it felt way too quiet--- at least, at first. Sometimes it still does but Louis was slowly growing accustomed to it.

He enjoyed the silence every now and then. Besides, being here alone with Harry meant that they could make as much noise as they wanted without worrying about anyone else hearing them --- maybe aside from their neighbours.

Though, the thought never stopped them before. Louis highly doubted it was any time soon.

"Because it's Christmas and she made us some lovely lunch that we're going to enjoy and---" he looked down at Louis carefully, "Louis Tomlinson you are not thinking about dirty things while we are talking about your mother."

Louis smirked up at him, "maybe I was, so what?"

"Its wrong," Harry said incredulously, "like your mum turns you on or summat."

"Gross," Louis grimaced.

"Exactly," he scolded.

Louis grinned, "I was thinking about the fact that we can be as loud as we wanna be now, you know?"

Harry pinched his brows together, leaning forward to place his mug down before carding through Louis' hair again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Louis turned so that he was facing Harry's tummy, "I can do this." He blew a raspberry over his stomach, feeling the muscles tighten underneath his lips and Harry laughing above him.

His tummy was really ticklish, as Louis had come to find out.

Louis giggled, doing it again.

"Okay, stop!" Harry said through his laughing, pushing Louis' head away.

"And, we can do this," he moved so that he straddled Harry and leaned forward, running his tongue over Harry's lips filthily.

Harry's smile vanished. He leaned forward to join their lips together, biting on Louis' bottom lip.

Louis groaned. Harry had become so much more confident during the time they'd known each other now. He would take charge more often than not and Louis was more than okay with that.

His hands pulled Louis closer, resting on his bum and grinded their hips together.

Louis pulled away from their heated kiss and kissed his way down Harry's jaw to his neck, right on the spot near his ear. He bit it before sucking down.

Harry thrusted upwards, squeezing Louis' bum and letting out a moan. A loud one.

Louis pulled away, his lips swollen by now and leaned against Harry again. "That's what I meant by we can be as loud as we want, darling."

Harry blushed, letting out a short laugh before kissing Louis again.

"We have to be quick, okay?" Harry warned as Louis fiddled with the zipper of his trousers.

"All right, all right, love," Louis made his way down until his was on his knees in front of Harry. "Spread your legs for me," he instructed.

Harry looked down at him with parted lips and blackened eyes as he obliged and spread his legs. He lifted his bum up so that Louis could pull down his pants and trousers. He tossed them aside, his eyes only fixed on Harry's lovely cock that stood up, tall and proud.

Louis licked his lips before leaning forward and taking Harry down in his mouth. Harry's head dropped back against the sofa in a long, loud grunt.

His hand found its way to Louis' hair again and tugged as Louis bobbed up and down his cock. He loved the way Harry felt in his mouth.

Soon, Harry's hips moved up until he was fucking Louis' mouth. Louis relaxed his throat, gagging slightly the deeper Harry went.

Harry loved doing this and Louis loved it just as much. They did try the cock up the bum thing and as Louis expected, Harry didnt like either one that much.

Louis didn't really care, not when he could have Harry like this; still a moaning, writhing mess underneath him.

Louis moved his head again as Harry thrusted. Harry's head was still thrown back and mouth opened in a silent moan. Louis felt his own cock twitch in excitement.

He was determined now to get Harry to finish and he knew what always did it for him. Louis gripped Harry's thighs and dug his nails into the sides, just enough that he knew Harry liked.

Harry pulled on Louis' hair tightly, hissing as he came down Louis' throat, chest heaving once Louis pulled off with a small pop.

He wiped his mouth, catching his breath when Harry looked at him again.

"C'mere," Harry patted his lap again.

Louis stood up, pulling his own trousers and pants off before happily sitting on Harry's lap, straddling him again, his hand making its way to his cock and pulling at it.

Harry batted his hand away, replacing it with his own. Louis moaned breathily, steadying himself using his hand on Harry's shoulder as Harry mouthed at his chest and sucked on his nipple.

"Fucking hell," Louis moaned again, the heat already pooling in his belly. "Just like that, love," Louis encouraged, whimpering when Harry's pace quickened.

Harry sucked on his neck this time as Louis came into Harry's hand with a loud grunt and happy sigh.

Harry leaned forward, his head on Louis' chest. Louis let out a breathy laugh, fingers tangling in Harry's growing curls and kissed his head.

"You really have to get so tired every time we have sex?" He asked, still breathing heavily.

"You wear me out," Harry mumbled, hands on Louis' bum again and squeezing to pull him closer.

"Clearly," Louis hummed, kissing his hair in quick successions, "come on, love, we really do have to get going now."

Harry whined, snuggling closer, "'s all your fault. Now I don't wanna go out--- wanna cuddle with you."

Louis sighed, "come on, love, ma made your favourite too, remember?"

Harry groaned, pulling away, "fine, but you have to wash me up in the shower."

Louis grinned. "Absoultely fine by me." 

***

After an _eventful_ shower, they finally left to Louis' mother's house with a casserole in Harry's hand.

It wasn't like they were insatiable or anything, they just loved each other a whole lot and couldn't help showing each other.

"Now your mum will know why we're late," Harry grumbled, running his fingers over the mark Louis had left underneath Harry's ear--- one he'd darkened when they were in the shower.

"It's not that bad, Harry," Louis waved him off. He lied. It was quite big and purple and anyone standing on Harry's right would be able to see it, clear as day.

Harry glared at him, "I'm just going to have to pull the coat up and keep it on while we're there the whole time."

"It's going to be fine, Harry," Louis sighed.

They'd just then realised that their cab driver quite possibly heard their conversation.

Harry went red, placing the casserole down on his lap and looking out the window. Louis snorted.

The driver didn't look at them, not even when Harry paid him. He drove off right as Louis got out of the car.

"Well, that was humiliating," Harry mumbled, still pink. It could be from the icy snow but Louis chose to believe otherwise.

Louis chuckled as he knocked on the door. "Who cares, honestly. We'll just make sure to never catch a ride with him again."

"Maybe we should save up for our own car," Harry suggested, biting his lip.

"Hmm, we could do that now with the income from the bookstore," Louis hummed.

Ms. Allen had officially retired and left the bookstore to Harry and Louis to look after. Harry still worked at the bakery during the weekends and Louis helped out at the theatre every now and then too but their little bookstore was surprisingly doing well.

"Just need to save up a bit more," Harry smiled, cheeks pink and nose red in stark contrast to his pale complexion.

He was growing up beautifully. Louis was sure if he looked anymore beautiful than he already does, Louis would combust.

The door opened, revealing Lottie. She smiled at them, "come on in, ma's been waiting."

Harry and Louis both stepped inside. Louis pulled off his coat and Harry kept his on stubbornly, even after Lottie took the casserole from his hand.

Louis refrained from laughing and took Harry's hand instead, following the laughter that came from the kitchen.

Their small table was set already with various food items and fancy looking cutlery.

"Wow, Jay this looks amazing," Harry said.

"Thank you, love and welcome! We've been waitin' for you two," she smirked at the two of them then gestured at the two seats available opposite her.

Louis greeted her with a kiss on her cheek while Harry greeted his sisters then they swapped before sitting down.

Louis' stomach gave a loud grumble, causing everyone to laugh.

"Hey, I'm hungry, all right?" Louis chastised, already reaching for the mash.

Harry placed a hand on Louis' thigh as they ate their meals and chatted about what had been going on in each of their lives.

Lottie and that boy of hers were apparently getting very serious. Louis had met him before and he was pleasantly surprised, so he was happy for his sister.

Daisy and Phoebe worked at the florist now and Phoebe revealed her developing love for gardening the more and more she worked there.

Jay said she had been volunteering as a nurse as of recently which they'd already known but it was nice to hear how happy she was, doing what she loved.

Harry raved about how well the store was doing then excitedly told them about their recent trip to Deckenville and his discovery that Dandelion was expecting.

The girls all seemed excited and asked Louis to promise that they would take them their next trip to Deckenville so that they could finally meet Diana and Dandelion.

Diana had dealt with her father back when Harry had come back to Makenshire. She'd gone with a story of not wanting to be with Harry anymore as she wasn't interested in him any longer and Mr. France simply rolled his eyes at her behaviour, otherwise remained unbothered.

She did recently find love again, with Phil surprisingly. She looked much happier according to Harry and that made both of them happy too.

If it weren't for her insistence on Harry chasing Louis and fighting for him, they wouldn't be here today.

It took them a while to fall back into place. Louis was still worried that something would go wrong with Diana and her father or that Diana would demand to have Harry back--- he was just constantly on edge.

Harry had to learn how to trust Louis again, to believe that Louis wasn't going to leave again.

And there was the nagging worry of the fact that legally, Harry and Diana were still married until they had finally ended it once and for all a few months ago.

Mr. France arranged for it to be done discreetly, worried about the people of their town spreading rumours and talking.

Neither of that mattered to Diana, Harry or Louis for that matter. But they digressed, listening to him. It happened either way.

When Louis washed up some of the dishes, his mother pulled him aside.

"What is it?" He asked, drying his hands on a cloth before placing it on the table.

"You have everything?" She looked down pointedly at his trousers pocket.

Louis gulped, smiling at her. "Yeah, I do--- this isn't stupid, is it?"

"Are you kiddin', love? This is so romantic--- unusual for you," she teased.

"Hey," he whined, "I'm just nervous that it might seem stupid to him --- we can't really do this for real after all, can we?"

She sighed. "It's real if you want it to be, not accordin' to other people. We all support you in this--- Diana and Phil too--- heck, even Dandelion."

Louis chuckled lowly, "I hope he likes it--- it's not much."

"Darlin', he's Harry. You could give him a leaf and he would say yes,"

Louis laughed just as Lottie came into the kitchen. She rushed towards them.

"Come on, let me see it then!" She tugged on his arm.

Louis rolled his eyes, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small red, velvet box.

She gasped when he pulled it open.

"Oh, he'll love it, Louis!" She said, tears in her eyes and his mother's.

"You really think so?" He turned it around to look at it again, biting his lip dubiously.

It was a simple silver ring with three small purple stones. It wasn't much but Louis really hoped he loved it.

"Louis, it's Harry," she deadpanned, "of course he'll love it."

"Are you going to do it outside?" His mum asked excitedly.

"Yeah, he's been saying how much he's been loving the snow so I thought I would,"

"You hate the cold though," Lottie chuckled.

"He's worth it," Louis smiled fondly, pushing the box into his pocket again, "is he in the living room?"

"Yeah, playing poker with Daisy and Phoebe," Lottie replied.

"Okay," he took a deep breath, "wish me luck then."

"Good luck," Jay squeezed his arm, "Lottie will help me out here."

"You mean you two will be peeping out the window and watching what's going to happen?" Louis raised an eyebrow at them.

"Oh, just go already," Lottie pushed him out the door with a frown on her face.

Louis huffed out a laugh as he stepped into the living room.

Harry was deep in thought, his eyebrows knitted together and lips in a small pout. Louis' heart jumped at the sight.

He walked silently to sit on the armchair behind Harry, glancing at his cards. He had shit cards. Louis snorted softly, resting his hands on Harry's shoulders.

Harry looked up, smiling at Louis, "hi."

"Hello," Louis kissed his nose, "mind joining me outside for a little bit?"

Harry frowned. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just need to, um, show you something," Louis leaned away, wiping his his hands over his thighs.

"Oh, um, okay," he placed his cards facing downwards, "I'll be back--- don't look at my cards." Harry warned the twins.

Louis chuckled. Harry got off the floor as the twins gave Louis a look, biting back their smiles.

Louis led the way out, making sure he had his coat on first, and Harry shut the door behind them, the wind blowing over his face.

"Lou, is there a reason why you needed to talk to me outside in the snow when it's ice cold," Harry cocked his head to the side, smiling.

"Uh," Louis exhaled shakily, "yes, actually--- come here."

Harry seemed a little worried, judging by the furrow in his brows. He accepted Louis' hands as they guided him closer.

The snow was harsh and fucking cold, but Louis was going to do this, cold or not.

"What's going on, Lou?" Harry asked, searching his eyes.

This was it. Louis was going to do it.

He dropped onto his knee, letting go of Harry's hands and reached into his pocket, pulling out the box swiftly.

Harry's eyes widened.

"Harry, I know that this might seem a little silly to you, given that we can't legally get married or anything--- but, I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what. I love you more than anything. So, will you do me the honour of spending the rest of your life by my side--- Uh, together, I mean."

Harry was crying, his nose was redder and cheeks wet. He nodded, letting out a breath. "Louis, stand up--- oh my god," he sniffed.

Louis stood up, walking closer to Harry. Harry tackled him onto the ground in a hug. Louis steadied them with his hands, holding Harry close.

"Is that a yes?" He asked, hearing Harry cry softly into his shoulder.

Harry pulled away and kissed Louis, hard and a little wet. Louis laughed, looking up at him.

"You didn't even open the box, you know?" Harry said, chuckling.

Louis felt the colour drain from his face and it wasn't from the cold. "You--- you're joking. I swear I did."

"You didn't," Harry giggled, "come on, let's see it." He reached behind himself to bring Louis' hand that held the box to his face.

He opened the box himself, gasping softly, tearing up again. "It's so lovely," he pulled it out himself too.

Louis sprung into action, ignoring the numbness in his bum and grabbed the ring from his hand.

"Let me at least do that," Louis mumbled. Harry giggled again, holding out his left hand for Louis.

He put the ring on shakily, smiling when Harry beamed at him.

"Can't believe you-- god, I love you so much," Harry cupped his cheeks and kissed him.

"Love, let's go inside now, please? My arse is fucking cold," Louis let out a shiver.

"I'm sorry," Harry got off of him, admiring the ring on his finger.

Once Louis was off the ground, Harry hugged him again. Louis held him tightly, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

"Lets get in--- I can see ma and Lottie peeping out the window already," Louis said, spotting the two from the corner of his eye.

Harry pulled away, nodding. He wiped his nose and cheeks again. Louis held out his hand and Harry gladly took it in his, feeling the weight of the ring prominently.

Louis beamed too as they went back inside, instantly met with cheers and congratulations.

"I told you he'd say yes!" Lottie squealed, grabbing Harry's hand and looking at the ring with Phoebe and Daisy.

"You thought I would say no?" Harry looked at him, frowning.

"I was just nervous," Louis breathed out.

Harry smiled reassuringly, "I love you," he said to Louis.

Louis blushed, "I love you, too," he reached up and kissed Harry's cheek.

"Oh, my baby. I'm so proud of you both, you know?" Jay said, hugging them both, one arm around each of them.

"Thanks, ma,"

"Thank you, Jay," Harry grinned.

Louis looked at Harry, matching his grin.

"Lets give them some privacy, girls," Jay ushered them away.

"Don't give Harry another one of those marks, it looks painful," Lottie called out, followed by a round of giggles and Jay scolding them as they disappeared into the kitchen.

"Sorry," Louis wrinkled his nose.

"I really don't care about that anymore," Harry murmured, turning to face Louis again, "I'm so happy right now, oh my god."

Louis smiled, grabbing his waist and kissing him softly, enjoying the cold of his lips against Louis'. It was soft and sweet and so full of love.

"When we get home... we can be as loud as we want," Harry whispered.

Louis laughed, "I'll hold you to that then." 


End file.
